Not my characters no harm no foul meant. Also broke all the rules of poetry…but then again does poetry really have rules…save that for the philosophy class… This is strictly rated G.

The Nanny Gets A Visit From St. Nick

by

Dee Dee
(ddn2cc@yahoo.com)

When Niles opened the door of the Sheffield mansion just a week before Christmas he wasn’t sure why he was really surprised to find a man standing there dressed in red with long white hair.

The outfit was complete with buckles on his belt and feet.

"What have we here," asked Niles with a quizzical look in his eyes.

"I’m old Saint Nick," came the reply.

"Old Saint Nick? That just can’t be. You aren’t due for a week," replied Niles without wit or glee.

Then he promptly shut the door in Santa Claus’ face.

Santa just stood outside the house for a short while thinking. He knew what was going on now was really a disgrace.

What could Santa do to create the right spirit and offer the folks inside a reason to celebrate the season and stop dashing around for all the wrong reasons.

Niles standing on the other side of the door just shook his head and thought: "What a bore!

Anyone who would go to the trouble of dressing like Santa a week early must be a bit squirrelly."

Through the living room Niles walked and found his nemesis named Babcock whose age dated back to the book of Genesis. That’s a good one he thought as he tossed it out to his foe, but she wanted none of it because off she must go.

Just at that moment before Babcock changed her mind and was about a reply, Maxwell came in and said they all must lie!

Seems Fran had caught him in an awkward position…it’s not what you are thinking it related to a Christmas tradition.

What could he do he asked the two.

CC suggested he ship Fran to a place she can’t stand.

Niles was a little better and suggested he write a letter.

Neither idea appealed to the Broadway producer….he knew he needed some way to seduce her.

A present was called for, but for that he must slip out the door.

A present for Fran was rarely a surprise because she had so many spies.

This time Maxwell thought he had her for sure, if only he could find the right lure.

Niles suggested a walk with her in the park….. way before it gets dark.

Babcock looked shocked at the thought of Niles with someone else on his arm that was her place and others she might harm.

Niles knew none of this was in Babcock’s mind. As far as he was concerned she hated his kind.

Then Babcock looked at Maxwell and new she had to agree else their friendship might end and that would give Niles too much glee.

Niles went to the kitchen and found Fran crying. Seems she thought Maxwell was lying. Said Fran, "It’s the beginning of the end. I know that’s true. When a man starts to lie you know you are through."

"Now, Now," said Niles without hesitation, "let’s take this to the park for a long dissertation."

As they walked through the woods and around the park benches, Niles thought, "such trouble are wenches."

Niles talked for a while and then would listen and try to reason. Fran wailed that Maxwell didn’t love her and they were through for good this Christmas season.

What they failed to see was a round jolly old man who had rang their doorbell earlier but now he had a plan.

St. Nick came up from behind and asked them, "What’s the matter?" Niles interrupted and told them they didn’t need his prattler."

Santa again frowned at the sandy-haired man. He was just about ready to kick Niles in the can.

It takes a lot to upset Santa, but this bunch was succeeding and Santa was beginning to think their problems really didn’t matter.

Then Santa took a deep breath and tried again. He just wanted them to understand he was their friend.

Niles scowled when the old man wouldn’t leave. Fran was a bit kinder but said she wasn’t deceived.

"How much do you want? What charity is it for?" Fran said thinking she would show this person the door.

"You don’t understand. I am Santa and I am here to bring Christmas cheer."

Fran smile and gave him such a winning look, she then said "hey mister your eggnog’s not been laced with beer?"

"No no. You still don’t get it I see. I just want to help you be all you can be." Santa looked at both and saw it was futile. Maybe he’d have better luck with the other two adults, perhaps they were less juvenile.

Neither Fran nor Niles were ready to be helped this day. He would have to try to work his magic in another way.

Santa started to give it one more try to make them see but this just wasn’t to be.

The jolly old man dashed back to the house. There he found Maxwell looking so down, Santa just wanted to get rid of his frown.

When Maxwell turned around in the den, there stood a man with three chins…

Maxwell said, "What are you doing here?"

"I’m here to bring you Christmas cheer. I’m Santa you see and I know you don’t believe, but trust me; I’m not here to deceive."

Here was a soul Santa knew he could help, because sending presents was his field and he knew Maxwell would yield.

Maxwell was desperate. He needed a plan. "What say you old man, give me a hand."

Magically Santa’s gift sack appeared and from it he pulled…. something lacey…not made of wool.

Maxwell took one look and new it was right, "Now if I can only keep it out of Fran’s sight."

Santa told him not to worry, he knew what to do, it would just involve a chimney and a flue.

With assurances from St. Nick the present would arrive, Maxwell asked him jokingly if Rudolph would let him drive.

Santa’s humor had run short with these couples two…that needed bonding with super glue.

As for CC and Niles, Santa was still not sure what to do. Then came another plan and he was much relieved.

To resolve the Niles and Babcock dilemma Santa decide he would have to come back Christmas Eve.

Twas the night before Christmas and Niles was creeping through the house. Not a creature was stirring….Babcock was soused.

And what before Niles’ "wondering" eyes did appear, but a vision of beauty, not eight tiny reindeer.

The Children were tucked all snug in their beds, Max was with Fan and there were no sugarplums dancing in their heads.

CC was on the couch, with her own thoughts to keep.

Babcock started to stir from her booze-induced sleep.

Niles dashed out of sight, so at this vision he might peep.

His torment of Babcock would only be complete if he made sure she knew that he knew she wasn’t counting sheep.

And so he peered around the corner without fear. He was aware that CC Babcock was near.

Then Niles stepped from behind his hiding post and saluted the witch with a very salty toast. Santa was watching but knew what was next, he tossed out his special dust, both Niles and CC lost their desire to fuss.

To Niles amazement, Babcock tossed back not a barb. Instead she moved forward and toward his arms.

Niles looked in her eyes, and what did he see…visions of love and lust mixed with just the right degree.

He turned away and tried to dash from her sight, but his movement came to late and he knew she would win the fight that night.

This was one battle of wits he would lose, but hopefully not because she was full of booze.

As it turned out Niles was wrong about her drinking, Babcock had only been sleeping.

Seems Christmas alone was not to be for either, as they finally found what both had been seeking.

Into their arms they both fell together, but neither discussed their fondness for leather.

Niles in his robe and CC in her gown were now ready to stop clowning around.

As they moved toward that most perfect of unions that night it turned out to be more than just their regular kind of fight.

As they dashed up the stairs toward Niles’ tiny bed, some claim that it was said they called a truce for the evening and then there followed such heaving.

As they turned out the light they heard a sound in the distance.

It sounded like Santa being very insistent.

St. Nick stayed out of sight…but couldn’t help saying Merry Christmas to all and to all a goodnight.

Back to Fan Fiction

Back to The Really Unofficial Nanny Home Page