Disclaimer: The usual gang – all characters are the property of Fran Drescher, Peter Marc Jacobson, High School Sweethearts, Sternin and Fraser, and Columbia TriStar Television.

The Big Premiere

by

Denise
(scholars_parrot@lycos.com)

After the move to California, she and Maxwell had planned on taking a break from producing for the theater. It certainly hadn’t been their intention to mount a show right away, but their love of the stage was so deep that when an unexpected opportunity presented itself, they leapt at the chance. Defying nearly impossible odds, Sheffield-Babcock Productions miraculously put together a new musical version of Dicken’s A Christmas Carol while their television pilot was still in development. Now just days before Christmas, the production had been in previews for three weeks, and the buzz was electric.

It was an understandably anxious C.C. who stood before the mirror surveying her ensemble, though her nerves were not entirely due to the usual opening night jitters. She was now a little over eight months pregnant and had been reluctant to attend tonight’s high-profile premiere, but the ever-persuasive Niles managed to talk her into it.

While she wished she could be her former sleek and sophisticated self for the event, she wasn’t entirely displeased with what she saw. She had managed her weight well during the pregnancy, and she did possess the undeniable glow of her impending motherhood. But more to the point, if she absolutely had to appear at a premiere so near her due date, it was definitely best to do so in Valentino.

The self-scrutiny of her appearance was interrupted by the voice of her husband, “C.C., could you please hurry? We’re supposed to pick up the Sheffields, and we’re already running late.”

“Take it easy, Niles, I’m almost ready.” She turned to view all angles and tugged and pulled to make small adjustments to her gown. “And by the way, I think I should get some special consideration on preparation time – it’s all too evident I’m dressing for two.”

“I’ll say.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Love, I was merely agreeing with you.” He walked up to her and wrapped his arms around her from behind. Interlocking his hands over her bulging stomach (and their baby), he rested his chin on her shoulder and looked at her in the mirror. “You know I think you’re beautiful.” She tilted her head to one side and closed her eyes as he began to gently kiss her neck. His touch became more amorous, and she wrapped an arm around his head, tousling his hair with her fingers.

His scent and his caresses prompted her to momentarily consider a pre-theater diversion that very much went against her obstetrician’s explicit instructions. Reason soon prevailed, not by virtue of a cooler head, but through the impeccably timed kick of their very own co-production. She opened her eyes to meet his in the mirror. “Did you feel that?”

“Yes, I did.” He gently squeezed her belly. “Apparently our wee one is fairly enthusiastic about a night on the town – I think we might have a theater afficionado on our hands.”

Still viewing him in the mirror, she sighed in a combination of contentment and yearning. “Do you know what the sight of you in a tuxedo does to me?”

He scrunched his face and looked upward to ponder the question. “As I recall, it makes you long for the sight of me out of a tuxedo.”

She turned to face him. “I thought morning sickness was the worst part of being pregnant, but that was absolutely nothing compared with being unable to...”

Not wishing to hear the rest of that sentence, he interrupted. “Perhaps just for tonight it’s a blessing. Remember a certain opening night in New York, and how we very nearly missed it?”

“We were in the proximity of the theater well before the curtain went up.”

“Yes, but while our little corner of the 49th Street subway station was standing room only, it had no view of the stage.”

“Well, that particular evening quite a show occurred there, if anyone took the opportunity to notice.”

Niles feigned horror, “My God, I hope not.”

“I believe the opening act went something like this.” She tugged at his cummerbund.

He whispered in a deep voice, “And I believe a curtain wasn’t the only thing that went up that night.”

“Right you are, Butler Boy. All those extravagant hydraulics from Andrew Lloyd Webber’s shows are nothing compared to yours.” Having abandoned his cummerbund, she was now fiddling with his fly.

“You trollop, if you’re not careful, you’re going to start something we can’t finish.” He cupped her face in his hands and gave her an ardent kiss that had the effect he was hoping for. She pulled her hand away from his fly and wrapped her arms around him. Their passion intensified and the kiss became devouring.

When their mouths finally parted, she playfully chastised him. “Now you’ve mussed my makeup, I’m going to have to take the time to fix it.”

“No, really, it’s fine. Just fix your lipstick – apparently it isn’t smudge proof.”

C.C. teased him, “And do something about yours. From the look of things, it isn’t smudge proof either.” Niles smiled and pulled out a handkerchief to wipe her lipstick from his mouth.

He watched as she redid her lips. “C’mon, C.C., Fran and Max will be cooling their heels.”

“I wish I could cool down so easily.” She grabbed his lapel and threw a sultry look his way.

“I know it’s difficult to maintain your icy demeanor when you’re no longer Miss Frostbite of 1945, but we really must leave now.”

“You’d be the one to know all about that year, wouldn’t you, Father Time – or is that Father Time-to-be?”

“I think it’s closer to father-to-be time, actually.”

“It’s been father-to-be time for the past eight months, old man, but you get closer to becoming Father Time everyday.”

She walked past him as he held the door open for her, her broad smile indicating a perceived victory had been clenched with her last remark.

“All I know is I’ll soon be a daddy, and I can’t wait for the day – and for more than one reason.” He lightly smacked her on the backside as she went by.

“Careful, I thought you wanted to avoid starting something we couldn’t finish.”

Niles smiled and put his right arm around her; with his left hand he gently took hold of her arm and carefully guided her to the waiting limousine.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

The evening’s plans called for a pre-theater meal. Normally, C.C. was too nervous to eat anything before an opening, but Niles had insisted she eat properly and not skip meals during her pregnancy. On the way to the Sheffields’ she inquired, “Where are we dining this evening?”

“Mr. Sheffield didn’t give the name of the restaurant, he said he wanted it to be a surprise.” Maxwell had asked Niles to call him by his given name, but it still seemed unnatural and Niles occasionally forgot to do so.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Once all parties had said their hellos and the Sheffields were comfortably settled in the limousine, Maxwell revealed his plans for the evening. “I thought we’d do dinner a little differently. Rather than go to a restaurant, I’ve had Spago cater a meal at the theater.” The idea was a lovely one, and C.C. and Niles voiced their approval.

“Maxwell, that sounds wonderful.”

“Sir, it truly is an excellent idea.”

Max further explained, “I know how self-conscious Fran was during the final weeks of her pregnancy, and well, C.C., I didn’t want you to be uncomfortable with all eyes upon you in a restaurant.”

Niles couldn’t believe what he’d just heard. Since the pregnancy he was well aware of how insecure C.C. could be concerning her appearance, and he knew just how delicately he’d cajoled her to convince her to attend tonight’s premiere. Now the well-intentioned but slightly clumsy Maxwell had really put his foot in it. Niles saw the doubt cross C.C.’s face and decided he had to act quickly.

Unfortunately, C.C. jumped in before he could smooth the situation. “If I’m too big to be seen in a restaurant, I’m certainly too big to appear at an opening covered by the media. Niles, tell the driver to turn the car around. I want to go home.”

Niles briefly glared at Maxwell, then turned to calm C.C. He took hold of her hands and tenderly looked into her eyes. “Baby, Max was just trying to be considerate. He didn’t mean to upset you.” He whispered in her ear, “Remember he’s the man who turned down Cats, Hair and Tommy. You didn’t really expect him to go an entire evening without tripping over himself, did you? When it comes down to it, I’m sure he thought the musicalization of Pygmalion was a bad idea too.” He kissed her cheek.

C.C. chuckled. She pulled her right hand from Niles’ grip and stroked the side of his face. Their foreheads locked. “You always know the right thing to say, sweetie.” His nimble ability to insult others often paid dividends where C.C. was concerned.

In the meantime Maxwell was unaware of Niles’ little digs because he was preoccupied with being taken to task by Fran for his ill-considered remark.

Once her composure was regained C.C. blamed the incident on the hormonal swings of her pregnancy and told Max not to worry about it. The two couples began a conversation of small pleasantries and harmless banter, and Maxwell was particularly careful about his contributions to the chat.

When they arrived at the theater C.C., Niles and Fran were thrilled with the extremes Maxwell had taken to make the evening an especially memorable one. Not only had he selected a wonderfully talented chef to cater their meal, he’d had the private office he and C.C. were using as their on-site headquarters lavishly decorated in the rich and ornate trimmings of a Dickensian Christmas.

Maxwell was pleased to see the delighted looks on the faces of his wife and two friends. “Would you ladies care to be seated?” He pulled out a chair for Fran, and Niles did the same for C.C.

The meal was exquisite and the conversation among the four was easy and enjoyable. Near dinner’s end Max brought up the fact he’d just been approached about the possibility of putting together a revival of My Fair Lady. “C.C., we need to think about whether or not we want to tackle that project.”

“What’s the matter, Maxwell, don’t you like the idea?” C.C. glanced slyly at Niles, whose nearly imperceptible grin spoke volumes.

“Well, it might be too much in light of all we’ve recently undertaken.” After a pause Max asked, “Say, did I ever mention my father had an opportunity to back the original New York production of My Fair Lady in the 50s? Of course he wasn’t at all theatrically inclined. It was just through a roundabout business association that he even had the chance.”

“No, honey, I don’t believe I’ve heard that story.” It was one of the few theatrical tales of his Fran hadn’t heard; usually the yarns were spun time and time again. “So what’d he do?”

“Well, he decided not to – seems he heard an early version of the score and didn’t think it had any memorable tunes. Can you imagine?”

C.C. and Niles were trying to avoid one another’s eyes. It was just too rich that Maxwell and his father shared the same lack of vision when it came to spotting enormously successful shows.

Fran was more direct. “Are you telling me this tendency to overlook hit shows is something you inherited?”

At that point Niles saw no reason to conceal his thoughts from C.C. or Fran. “Yes, it does seem as though there’s a genetic proclivity at work here.” They all three burst into laughter, and Maxwell was left out of the joke until he grudgingly found the humor in the situation.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

After the meal C.C. and Fran adjourned to the theater’s nearest Ladies’ Lounge while the two gentlemen stayed behind to relax and sip some cognac.

The women sat at a dressing table and talked as they freshened their makeup.

“You can’t believe how much I’ve been looking forward to this evening. Max and I haven’t really been able to go to any kind of big event since the twins were born. No need for me to tell you about it, though – you and Niles will learn soon enough. After your baby arrives you just won’t have a chance to get out all that much.”

“Oh, we really don’t go out very often now, although sometimes we do like to try a new spot.”

C.C.’s chuckle and wickedly dreamy expression made Fran wonder just exactly what was meant by the phrase “trying a new spot.” Actually, she didn’t really wonder at all, she was entirely certain she knew the true meaning of C.C.’s words.

“Now that Brighton’s finally back from Europe and Maggie and Michael are in town for the holidays, the whole family will be at the opening tonight. You know, it seems like ages since we’ve all been together for a formal event. Can you remember the last time that happened?”

“Would that have been your anniversary party back in New York?”

“Yeah – and were you ever a mess then.”

“You think I was the one who was a mess that night?”

“Yeah, I think you were a mess – a nauseous, neurotic, should-I-or-should-I-not-marry-Niles mess. Believe me, you really added to the anxiety of that evening.”

“Me? Have you forgotten you’re the one who chose that occasion to go into labor?”

Fran shook a finger at C.C. and lightheartedly chided, “Better be careful what you say – you really shouldn’t tempt fate, ya know.”

C.C. shrugged off the possibility. “Don’t worry, I’m not due for another three weeks. Besides, it wouldn’t be convenient. We’re way too busy with the TV pilot and the new musical.”

“Oh, and that baby wouldn’t dare disrupt your carefully planned schedule.”

“Not if she wants to hang on to her little trust fund.” C.C. patted her swollen belly and made the comment with a smile. She knew she was having a daughter. At her age DNA testing was considered essential, and Niles (being Niles) couldn’t bear to stay in the dark about the baby’s gender. C.C. had actually been more inclined to be surprised, but once Niles knew it was only a matter of time before she did too.

She concentrated on all the things she and Niles had shared during the past few months. Life with him was an amazing odyssey full of unexpected twists and turns, and for her the journey was a godsend. She remembered how Niles reacted when he learned he was going to be a father. After the initial shock, when they both regained consciousness, he looked at C.C. with eyes that beamed more joyous love and pride than she had thought possible. It literally overwhelmed her to be the focus of his gaze, and she nearly fainted a second time. From that moment she knew he was perfectly suited to fatherhood. Surprisingly, the elation he felt overflowed to her, and she almost immediately wanted and loved the baby as much as he did.

Still, the warmth of these emotions did not entirely put to rest her predisposed fears and doubts – that was a duty her husband assumed. Through an onslaught of loving gestures and astonishing passions, Niles became the comforter responsible for assuaging her angst and apprehension regarding marriage and motherhood.

Her thoughts of Niles and their baby girl caused C.C.’s smile to evolve into a look of pure joy that brightened her features, and the change did not go unnoticed by Fran. “You know something, C.C., you really do look like you’re going to enjoy being a mother. I have to admit, I didn’t think there was a maternal bone in your body.”

“It surprises me, too. I never expected to feel this way.” She began to laugh suggestively. “But you know how maternal Niles can be. So, regardless of my instincts, there’s occasionally been a maternal bone in my body for the better part of a year now. Actually, it’s just lately there hasn’t been.” C.C. tilted her head and arched her eyebrows to look at Fran, who chortled in response.

At the mention of Niles’ name, Fran took the opportunity to ask something she had long been curious about. “Speaking of Niles, I’ve been wondering, before you two got together did you ever have a clue he was carrying such a torch for you?”

“Tell me something, did you?”

“Not until he sort of accidentally let it slip.”

“I knew we had moments of attraction, though I always tried my best to avoid them. But to answer your question, no, I didn’t have any idea until the night he first proposed. Had I known, I’m sure I would have teased him mercilessly.”

“Actually, C.C., if you remember, that’s exactly what you did.”

“Oh, right, so it is.” She laughed inwardly at the recollection.

“So, you didn’t have an inkling about the torch he was carrying?”

“Not really, but I can tell you this – if I’d known about the merits of his torch, I would have reciprocated a whole lot sooner. Believe me, nothing to tease about there!” She nudged Fran’s arm with the back of her hand and both of them began to laugh.

Soon C.C.’s peal of laughter was replaced by a shriek of fright. Fran was startled by the abrupt change. “My God, C.C., be careful, you’re gonna hurt yourself.”

“I think it’s a little too late for that advice.” The words poured out from C.C. in a panic. She placed a hand on her stomach and looked at Fran with terrified eyes. “Fran, my water just broke!”

“Are you sure?”

“Well, either that or someone just spilled a pitcher of cocktails underneath me... YES, I’m sure!”

The thought of being stuck anywhere for any length of time with an in-labor C.C. was more than Fran could take. “No, no, no, don’t you dare go into labor now. Remember your plans. Think birthing room, St. John’s Health Center, Santa Monica. Do you have a brochure in your bag? Maybe visualization would help.”

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Once Fran calmed down she realized it would be best to take C.C. back to Niles and Maxwell. When they returned to the office it was empty, and there wasn’t a trace of their husbands anywhere. C.C. began to sob at the thought of facing the most daunting task she would ever undertake without Niles, her longtime partner in adversity and her newfound partner in life.

Fran guided the emotionally distraught producer to an overstuffed leather couch. “Don’t worry... I’m sure they’ll be back soon.” Fran was reassuring herself as much as she was C.C.

As soon as C.C. reclined on the couch her sobbing subsided and Fran made the necessary phone calls. The hospital was notified and the obstetrician’s answering service was in the process of paging the doctor.

Though the contractions were far enough apart to prevent a total panic, worry was in the air, along with the intermittent sound of C.C.’s screams. The gaps of quiet between cries were disturbing to both women, and each groped for something to talk about. Fran filled the awful silence like the world-class Yenta she was. “Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?”

“I might be squeezing out a baby in your presence, I don’t think we could get any more personal unless you were the father.”

“I take that as a ‘yes.’”

“I knew you would, Nanny Fine.” C.C. rarely called her that now. Odd as it seemed, she had finally realized Fran was the closest thing she had to a female friend, and she felt she should address her accordingly.

Fran attributed the “Nanny Fine” remark to C.C.’s pain and apprehension and pressed on with her inquiry. “I’ve always been confused about how you ended up in bed with Niles the night of your big showdown on the stairway. You can’t imagine how shocked Max and I were to see that!”

C.C.’s discomfort was evident as she struggled with her reply. “I’ve got to admit it surprised me too.”

“When you left that evening you seemed absolutely determined to resign.”

“I was, but I started thinking about what Niles said... how empty my life was... and how I was going to end up alone and regretting things that might have been.” She paused to take a deep breath. “That night I needed to talk, and I realized he was my best friend. I actually went back to apologize. At least I didn’t consciously return with the idea of getting into bed with him, but maybe it was in the back of my mind.”

“Well, it certainly moved someplace else in a hurry.”

“It certainly did. And, believe me, once it got there it was in no hurry to leave.” Despite her dilemma, C.C.’s throaty laugh kicked in. Shortly after, a contraction also kicked in, and the laugh rapidly transformed into a scream.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

As Niles and Maxwell headed back from their little jaunt, they discussed the great expectations everyone had for the show. Niles abruptly abandoned the conversation when he thought he heard a slightly faint, but oh so familiar sound. “What was that noise? Did I just hear C.C. scream?”

Niles nodded and a silly smirk crossed his face. Of course, she’s fine. He was just overanxious.

Fran hoped and prayed Max and Niles would show up soon. She thought she heard the sound of approaching steps and peeked her head out the door to see if she was right. The relief she felt at finding they had returned was immeasurable, if not immediately apparent.

“Where have you guys been?”

Maxwell answered, “We stepped outside for a Cohiba.”

“You were gone forever, how long does it take to smoke a cigar?”

“Well, we also stopped by the lounge to look for you and C.C. – we thought you ladies might want to stretch your legs before committing to two and a half hours in theater seats. How about it, darling?”

“I think C.C.’s too busy stretching something else – she sorta seems to be in labor.”

“What?” Niles shouted.

“I said I think C.C.’s...”

“I know what you said, but she’s not due for nearly a month!” Niles rushed to the office to be with his wife.

Max was set to follow until he heard C.C.’s shrill cry, “Good God, can’t I be allowed a little privacy? Keep Maxwell outta here!” She clearly no longer pined to share certain intimacies with the man.

Hoping to ease her obvious tension, Niles stood just inside the open door, raised his brow and affectionately asked, “Am I allowed in?”

She was grateful he’d returned and definitely wanted him nearby, but her immediate response suggested otherwise. “Allowing you in is what put me in this predicament in the first place!” she screamed as another contraction hit. He was at her side before she completed the answer.

“Love, I’m sorry this is so painful.” Niles took her hand.

C.C. screamed again, then looked at her husband. “If you ever intend to come near me in the future you better get real serious about sheathing yourself in some form of protection, because as far as I’m concerned that particular apparatus is never again going to see the light of day.”

Niles mumbled to one side, “This apparatus never seeing the light of day is what put you in this predicament.”

“As charming as your sense of humor is, that’s another thing I’m not going to be in the mood for for a long, long, time.”

“I know you well enough to know you don’t mean that.”

“You’re probably right, but let me enjoy the idea of threatening you, okay?” She groaned through the pain.

“Oh, I’m reconciled to that – it’s part of your nightly ritual.” Her upswept hair was coming undone, and Niles tenderly brushed the stray blonde wisps back from her face. “We need to get you to the hospital.” He asked Fran, “Have you called her doctor yet?”

“Yes – I left a message with her answering service, but I haven’t heard back.”

Maxwell was standing just outside the door and could hear everything. “C.C., I seem to remember you mentioning something about giving opening night tickets to your obstetrician. Is that correct?”

Though it had slipped her mind, C.C. had indeed graciously offered opening night tickets to Dr. Grant (in the hope of less-than-graciously acquiring the birthing room of her choice).

The doctor and her husband were in the audience. They had just been seated when her beeper went off. Max arrived at about the same time, explained the situation and immediately escorted her to C.C.

The parents-to-be were apologetic about spoiling Dr. Grant’s night out. She took it quite graciously and gently kidded C.C. “That’s okay, usually when this happens I have to buy tickets for a later date, but since one of the producers is a patient of mine I’m sure I can get house seats.”

“Center Orchestra on the aisle.” C.C. was taking no chances, but she was beginning to hate the idea of disrupting opening night, and despite the fact she was obviously in labor, she suddenly tried her best to convince herself she wasn’t. “This really isn’t labor is it, Doctor Grant?”

“You’re very much in labor, C.C., and before the evening’s over I think you’ll be able to add two new listings to your resumé: one professional and one personal.” The doctor looked up and spoke directly to Niles, “We need to get her to the hospital immediately. This little gal’s in a big hurry to make an entrance.”

Niles nodded. “Pushy like her mother.”

At C.C.’s insistence Max stayed at the theater. “One of us has to be here for the premiere, and it can’t very well be me!”

He still wanted to accompany them to the hospital, but Fran encouraged him to abide by C.C.’s wishes. “You can come to the hospital after the final curtain... please, Max, do as she wants.”

Maxwell reluctantly deferred to the two women. “Alright, sweetheart,” he leaned in close to his wife and softly brushed her lips. “Call me with updates, will you?”

“Call you – while you’re in the audience? How many times have I heard you complain about inconsiderate theatergoers who don’t bother to turn off their phones?”

“I wasn’t thinking – blame it on all the excitement. Never mind, I’ll stay backstage and ring you up occasionally.”

* * * * * * * * * * * *

When they headed to the limousine they were converged upon by camera crews covering the premiere for various LA affiliates and syndicated entertainment programs. C.C. screamed for Niles to do something. The awkward photos from her “too-much-cheesecake” period occasionally surfaced to haunt her and she certainly didn’t want any more unflattering images added to the archives. “I don’t want to see footage of me in labor over and over again on TV! What woman in her right mind would want that kind of attention called to her pregnancy?”

“C.C., darling, what can I do?” His arms were protectively around her as he guided her through the commotion.

“You can take a swing at these weasels, Niles!”

“Oh, like that won’t call more attention to us – or end up being played and replayed on the news.”

“Niles, just stop these goons and I don’t care if you have to hire a hit man!”

“Please, let’s try to ignore them and get to the car as quickly as possible.”

She leaned her head on his shoulder. “Oh, Niles, this is too much trouble – I’ve changed my mind. Let’s wait until later to have children.” He was relieved to hear some measure of humor had returned.

“You’re not turning chicken on me, are you, Babcock?”

She grinned ever so slightly at his little joke. “You really are a swine, lover, did you know that?”

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Some time after they departed Dr. Grant spoke privately with Niles. He delicately relayed the information to C.C., “Love, the doctor thinks we won’t make it to the hospital and maybe we should pull over for you to have the baby... is that okay?”

Her initial response was a little caustic, “Really, Niles, do I have any choice in the matter? I mean I don’t think I’m calling the shots here.” But as she had time to absorb the idea, she accepted it much better than he expected. “I suppose it’s appropriate for this kid to be born in a limousine – she could very well have been conceived in one. Wonder if this is God’s way of letting us know where our bambino got her start?”

“Are you saying if you went into labor at Wal-Mart or Home Depot you’d assume our little lamb was conceived in one of those places?”

Fran couldn’t believe her ears. “Wal-Mart, Home Depot, did you two really – oh, never mind, of course you did. But Home Depot, honestly, I would think most men would be too intimidated to perform there, I mean all the 2x4s and fence posts and everything.”

“Well, Niles had no reason to be intimidated. Believe me, if anything, the lumber might have felt a little inadequate.”

“C.C., I never thought I’d say this, but where’s that icy Scandinavian reserve I miss so much?”

“Really, love, do show a little decorum – remember time and place.” She had managed to embarrass Niles, who usually took open delight in her naughty remarks.

“Until recently it’s been any time, any place for you, Niles, and you know it!”

Fran made a request, “Well, just don’t let Maxwell hear about it – he still has nightmares about seeing you together in the more traditional setting.”

C.C. couldn’t let the comment pass. “Had you not been bedroom storm troopers that evening, you wouldn’t have to contend with his nightmares.”

“Word of advice, never accuse a Jewish girl of being a storm trooper, it’s really not kosher. And by the way, a simple turn of the lock would have prevented any bedroom invasions.”

“Well, not all bedroom invasions,” C.C. devilishly shot back.

Niles interjected, “Can we please change the subject? I, for one, would be a lot more comfortable with another topic of conversation.”

Responding to Niles’ wishes, Fran asked, “Have you guys picked out a name yet?”

“Since her business-minded mother has a better head for figures than names, I think we should just use her Social Security number, we can shorten it to the first three digits. Or would you prefer the last four, love?” He looked to C.C. for a reaction.

C.C. smacked his arm. “I told you before I didn’t think that was very funny. Of course I’ll be able to remember her name, she’s our daughter, for crying out loud! And you know I’ve got Maxwell’s three kids’ names down pat now.”

“Yes, you do, it’s just that now he and Fran have five children.”

“I know that – I meant the bigger ones I had a little trouble keeping straight before.”

“Uh-huh, sure you did.” Niles tenderly wiped her cheeks and forehead with a towel he had taken from the limousine bar.

Fran tried once more. “So... no name yet, huh?”

C.C. answered, “I want us to take our time. The wrong choice could affect her personality, and the last thing we need to do is saddle her with some horrible self-fulfilling prophecy of a name.”

“Or, as in your case, my love, the very opposite of a self-fulfilling prophecy.” He met her glare with a loving grin.

Dr. Grant had dutifully stayed out of the conversation while attending to her patient, but she now found it necessary to break in with a little news bulletin. “Not much longer folks... you two kids should play nice now because you’re going to have a kid of your own in a matter of minutes.”

C.C. did her best to heed the doctor’s instructions, but she heeded in her own fashion.

“Niles, stay within arm’s length of me. I have some serious pain management ahead and I want to be able to gouge my nails into your wrists, you oversexed toilet-scrubbing son of a butler!”

“Venting, are we? Controlled breathing, love, not uncontrollable outrage.” C.C. was having none of his comments at the moment. “Ow! If you slash me one more time with those claws, instead of registering you when we get to the hospital, I’m going to have to go directly into surgery for limb reattachment.” Niles rubbed his bleeding wrist.

“I’m sorry, want me to kiss it and make it better?” Her tone was edgy, mocking and slightly insincere.

“Do you think I would actually give you the chance to bite off my hand?”

“Oh, don’t be such a crybaby. I’ve had plenty of opportunities to bite off more than that, you know.”

“Yes, and now everyone in the limousine knows too.”

“Kinda had that one figured anyway.” The words escaped Fran’s lips before she realized she was saying them out loud.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Maxwell couldn’t stand it. He hadn’t been able to get through to Fran or the limo driver, and no one at the hospital could tell him anything either. Despite his promise to stay until the final curtain, he left the theater at intermission.

When he approached the hospital entrance, Maxwell noticed the limousine near the front canopy and saw Fran standing beside it. Her hands were cupping her face and her fingertips wiped at tear-filled eyes. A fear gripped Max, and he became concerned something had gone terribly wrong to provoke the sobs from his wife. As he stepped closer she noticed his approach and went running to him. Her look had turned into one of sublime joy, and he realized everything was fine.

Fran threw herself into his arms and cried, “Oh, honey, come take a look at what’s happened!”

Max stood at the open door of the limousine and peered inside. There he found Niles seated and holding his newborn daughter. Beside him lay C.C., her eyes closed and her head resting against Nile’s thigh. Maxwell had never seen such a sight: the infant was breathtakingly radiant and a perfect love illuminated her father’s face as he stared in wonder of her. “Niles, she really is just about the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”

“Sir, she equals the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.” Niles kissed his wife’s forehead.

C.C. was almost too exhausted to hear his words or notice the gesture, but his voice and his touch registered at some level of her consciousness, and she smiled and gripped her husband’s arm while he held their daughter.

It was an overwhelming moment for both of them, but particularly for Niles, who months before had nearly given up the hope of sharing this happiness with the woman he loved. For an instant he was unable to speak, and could only gaze adoringly at his new family. When his composure returned, and with it his voice, he finally said the words he’d longed to utter for so many, many years. “Welcome to the world, dear child. Your mommy and I are very happy to make your acquaintance.”

The baby kicked and waved her arms as if to acknowledge her father’s welcoming words. Niles’ eyes filled with tears, and with a grateful and overflowing heart, he silently offered a prayer of thanks.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Very late that night, after C.C. was rested and had made herself presentable, the hospital room filled with visitors, each expressing shock at how quick the baby had arrived once labor began.

C.C. didn’t exactly agree. “Quick! You think that was quick? It seemed like an eternity to me!”

Sylvia replied none too diplomatically, “Yeah, it was fast, especially for a first-time mother your age, Miss Babcock.”

Fran shoved a box of sweets in Sylvia’s direction to quiet her, “Here, Ma, have a caramel – there’s some toffee in there too.” She then turned to speak to C.C., “Whether or not you think so, it was a very quick delivery.”

Niles cradled their daughter in his arms and gently rocked her back and forth. “Well, that’s because this little one is just like her mommy. When she sees an opportunity, she grabs it immediately.” He brought her tiny face within inches of his own and cooed, “Don’t you, my angel?”

“I’m sure she’d agree with you, Niles, if you weren’t forgetting the one opportunity it took me twenty years to grab.” C.C. dryly responded to the gushing new father, but she tenderly brushed his arm as she spoke.

He looked up from the baby to meet C.C.’s eyes. “You simply didn’t know you wanted that thing. The instant you realized it, you seized it at full throttle, my love.”

“I can’t argue with you there.”

* * * * * * * * * * * *

When the roomful of visitors departed and the new parents and baby were left alone, C.C. held their daughter in her arms. Niles stood at her bedside and leaned to softly kiss her lips. “You know, it’s really rather ironic she was born just before Christmas.”

“How’s that, Niles?” As she spoke her eyes were riveted on the tiny little creature enfolded in her grasp.

“Well, the holiday started with a Holy Family, and now we’ve just introduced our ‘unholy family’ to the seasonal equation.”

“You don’t suppose that’s a sign the world’s coming to an end?” she jokingly inquired.

“Not a chance – for me, it’s just beginning.” He stroked her hair and a moment of pure appreciation passed between them before he directed his gaze to their baby girl. “We really do need to give this little angel a name, and well, I was thinking, since she debuted the night of your opening, why not name her after the show?”

“Christmas Carol? Oh, Niles, tell me you’re not serious.”

“Honestly, C.C., do you think I’d do that to our daughter? Though she would share your initials, love.” C.C. was about to open her mouth in protest when he continued. “No, I thought we could use a word for Christmas Carol that’s derived from the French – I am part French you know.”

“How well I know – those French parts are among my favorite parts too.” She paused and smiled at him. “I think I know what name you have in mind.”

“I’m sure you do. And while the pronunciation will be different, we’ll also be honoring one of the few members of your family who’s been more than decent to us since we married. Do you approve?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Noel it is?”

“Noel it is... Niles, it’s a wonderful choice. Not only will she be her Uncle Noel’s favorite niece – and in line to inherit all his millions – but, just think, how appropriate for her to share a name with a certain playwright, especially if she’s inherited her father’s droll wit.”

Niles grinned at the observation. “Now... how about a middle name?”

“Good lord, do we have to come up with a middle name right now too? I mean we both avoided revealing our full names for years and years.”

“You’re right, that can wait.” He kissed her again. “You do know you’ve made me the happiest man in the world, don’t you?”

“Hmm, I thought I did that about nine months ago.”

“Indeed, you did. Let me rephrase – now I’m completely over the moon.” He stroked the side of her face with the back of his hand. “I love you so much, C.C.”

“And I love you.” Though she could easily make the declaration, she could never quite manage to add his name to it, but that would come later.

“I’m sorry the circumstances weren’t better, babe. I wish I could have done something to stop the TV crews.”

“Never mind, Niles. I wasn’t all that upset – it really was just the pain talking.”

“You mean you actually didn’t mind the fact of it?”

“Well, while I’d personally rather not be seen on television from that angle, it did occur to me all the mentions of the musical will be great publicity. Can you imagine how many extra tickets we’ll sell as a result? And I even think we might get more folks tuning into the TV show once it’s on the air.” She was a producer through and through.

He smiled and patted their daughter’s head. “Listen up, Noel, it’s mommy’s version of a wonderful life: every time a show gets free publicity, the box office receipts take wing and soar... ah, well, putting theatergoers in the seats and potatoes on the couch, that’s what we’re here for, little one.”

“Oh, Niles, I almost forgot. What kind of reviews did we get tonight?”

His eyes were focused on their daughter. “Rave reviews, love. All the truly important critics think she’s a miraculous work of art.”

C.C. looked at him, then at their little Noel. She smiled and agreed with her husband, “She definitely is our best effort.”

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