Back to Fan FictionPreviously on The Nanny…” Niles says it’s time “to move on,” but C.C. after having the nicest surprise with the box of chocolates decides to have a definitive heart to heart with him to find out if he really loves her or if he’s just playing mind games again. If she concludes that what he feels for her is really love, then he will have to know that she feels the same regardless of the score. Could they finally get to an understanding?
Part Four of a Series
by
Malu
(myfanfic.mail@gmail.com)
C.C. left home the same way she was dressed and arrived at the mansion as if in a trance; minutes later after she found out the truth about the candies.
She parked her car in front of the house knowing it wouldn’t be easy to face him and if necessary ask for his forgiveness after so much pain she put him into. She didn’t even know if she would have the guts to admit her love but she wanted the chance to say that she was sorry for her behavior. If he had to leave after that, she wanted at least to let him know that she regretted her latest attitudes.
She slowly sat on the upper step of the front door. She was filled with an odd anticipation. That man kept her captured in a spell from which she could never escape. She wanted to give herself completely but she was still too scared.
A thin rain began to fall and interrupted her reverie. She looked up letting some drops cool off her face.
-‘I'm always dreaming of him. Why can’t I just wake up?’ She thought closing her eyes for a second.
But no, there she was, still sitting in the same place while the man of her life was there inside, hurt again, thanks to her immaturity. She felt a cold chill. In a blink of an eye, the thin rain had turned into a heavy shower and she was soaking wet.
-“Oh my God, where is my key? I forgot my key!” She said to herself. -“Without it I will wake up the entire house with the bell. What am I saying? I can’t get in dressed like this. He will think I went insane again.”
She ran to her car using the rain and the key as excuses for one more time not facing her fate.
-‘I've got to go home. I’ll talk to him tomorrow.’ She was never a procrastinator, but when it came to Niles… This time, however, she had to admit she was running out of time. -‘But will he still be here?’ She shook like a leaf. -‘He said he was leaving first thing in the morning.’ Her mind was like a yo-yo.
She turned the ignition on and was about to leave when she was suddenly startled by a jolt. Her car had stopped in the middle of the street.
-‘What the...?!’ She tried to restart the engine several times to no avail. -“What do I do now?!”
She got out feeling impotent. Her blue eyes shifted to Niles’ window. It was dark and she could barely see a thing with the thick water curtain, but she almost could swear he was watching her. He was always there when she needed him most.
She was frozen on the curb, watching his window, when a man approached with an umbrella.
-“Can I be of any help?”
She turned around not knowing if she felt glad or frightened. It was past eleven and the streets were deserted with the rain. Helplessly she accepted his offer.
-“Yes…You see, my car stopped working and-...”
-“Get in the car and open the hood, please.”
-“Okay.”
-“Start the engine-...” He shouted.
Nothing.
A few minutes went by. The man quickly checked some electrical parts but it didn’t work.
-“Too much dew, I guess. Some sort of short circuit, I don’t know. I can try to fix it but-...”
-“Never mind!” A nearly rude masculine voice interrupted the man.
-“Wha-... Who are you?!” The man asked annoyed with the aspect of the stranger wearing a soaking wet robe and pajamas in the middle of the street.
C.C.’s face lit up when she saw him.
-“I’m a-... I’m a friend of hers. I live in that house.” He pointed to the mansion a few steps from where they were standing. -“Now, if you don’t mind we can push the car back to where it was parked. I’ll drive her home. It’s not the time nor place to fix a car.” Niles said uncomfortable with the man’s attentions towards C.C..
-“All right.” The guy nodded noticing that the man before him was apparently more than a friend who was not happy with his presence. -“You know, sir, I was just trying to help her.” Then peering at the car window. -“Is that okay with you, lady?”
-“Yes. Yes, thank you.” She answered from inside the car, watching Niles’ tense face and loving the way he acted so protective. The rain was heavy, he probably couldn’t find an umbrella, but that didn’t stop him from going out after her.
The two men pushed, while C.C. maneuvered the car back to its parking space.
Niles softened a little and thanked the man for the help before he left.
-“What are you doing here, at this hour, with this weather?” Niles asked, as she jumped out of the car and shut it locked.
-“I came to-to-to pick up a floppy disk that I forgot.” She stammered for lack of a better excuse. -“I’ll need it tomorrow morning before I come to work.”
-“Oh, is that so?” He nodded in a mixture of disdain and sarcasm. -“I thought you came to bring your resignation letter. I assume you decided to abdicate from your decision, then.”
Finding that a much better excuse. -“Well, since you know the news already. No, I didn’t. That’s the true reason I came. My printer is jammed and I wanted to use Max’s.”
He turned abruptly. Both kept staring at each other under all that water. It took some time until both could wake up from that mesmerism. He was confused but didn’t intend to ask her to give up the idea.
Seconds later two soaked souls entered the mansion.
C.C. wanted desperately to find the guts to tell Niles why she was really back but for now she was still glad that he had no clue.
-“I swear I could see animals getting in line in pairs some place out there.” He said shaking his wet hair.
She giggled.
He smiled back removing his dripping robe. -“Anyway, you call the insurance company in the morning. They sure have people to take care of your car.”
-“I guess you’re right.” Noticing the micro-cassette that she forgot sitting on the round table of the foyer that afternoon and not wanting another fight over that tape, she tried to hide it tossing her purse carelessly over it. -“Niles, don’t you think you were a little too harsh with that man?”
In a tensed look he explained. -“I think he smiled a little too long at you.”
-“Jealous and possessive?” She hinted with a mirthful smile.
-“The ill fortunes of being a redhead.”
-“No, I think that bad trait goes along with being stubborn, impulsive, and fiery-tempered.”
Raising his eyebrow he dashed. -“Says who?”
Tired of debating she put an end to that with a grin. -“Thanks Niles. That man seemed a nice gentleman but he worried me at this hour. I'm glad you were there, I really am.” Sneezing shortly afterwards. -“Gee, I’m freezing.”
-“I'll make some hot tea and we’ll find something for you to change. Come.”
-“No, I better go home. Can you call me a cab?” She said urging to see his reaction.
-“When hell freezes over, headless! It’s almost midnight! I could drive you but you are soaked to the skin. You stay the night.”
She found his demand somehow a turn-on, not to mention his completely soaked pajamas glued to his body giving her a perfect notion of his frame.
-“Okay then, but you are all wet yourself. I tell you what: you go upstairs, get changed, and find something for me. In the meantime, I’ll make us the tea.”
He narrowed his eyes and rascal grinned.
-“Don’t you dare.” She said knowing he had a zinger on the tip of his tongue.
-“Sorry.” He chuckled.
-“Better. I know I’m not British but I promise you my tea will be perfectly drinkable.”
-“I’m sure.” Then added under his breath. -“I keep rat’s-bane upstairs anyway.”
She heard and smiled to herself. He ran upstairs to his room with the wet robe in his hands and she followed him with her eyes.
Her feelings were obscure. One moment she found herself afraid that those breathtaking things would happen, the next moment that they wouldn’t. Her heart was beating faster again. It was so good when he treated her like that; the same Niles, the same wit, but somehow with his guard down. And she was right, he was watching her from his window and one more time came to her aid when she most needed him, despite the hurt she had caused him.
Instantly C.C. was in the sort of atmosphere that she had long dreamed of being in, just the two of them, desperately trying to show one another their most kindhearted sides.
Despite the whirlwind of sensations she had the feeling that this could be the night of the nights for her. Too many coincidences occurred till she ended up in that kitchen, steps away from a man that she never gave up to have in her arms again; sober and awaken at least. She was more and more convinced that she should not waste that opportunity.
Looking for the tea she instantly became annoyed with a horrible smell that came from the toaster oven.
-“Boy, they say some food tastes like rubber but ‘smelling like’? I wonder what they tried to bake there!” She let out unaware that Fran had almost melted her “made in Taiwan” son’s tokhis two hours earlier on that thing.
Checking a couple of cabinets more she concluded. -“I think they are out of tea.” She smiled having a delightful idea. -“No tea, uh? How convenient.”
Niles was checking the few drawers he still had left full after packing. He was after something that would fit the Blonde comfortably and all he could find was a huge T-shirt with the inscription “World’s Greatest Lover.” He got that from Fran’s mother years before when the family got stuck in the Fine’s place for an entire weekend due to a strong blizzard that closed all the airports and bridges.
He recalled how glad he became with that snowstorm. Not for the fact that they were all locked up in a one-bathroom apartment, obviously, but because Miss Babcock had to stay there instead of wasting her weekend with a senator that she was supposed to meet.
He was lost in his thoughts when a muffled knock at his door startled him. For a second he was afraid that someone in the family could still be up, which would spoil the nice sensation of having the house just for the two of them.
-“Come in.” He said apprehensively not believing for a second that she would have the courage to come after him in his very room…
But she had.
She opened the door and was “hit between the eyes.” He was barefoot. Fresh from a quick shower perhaps and wearing pajamas pants but nothing in the upper part except for a cobalt-blue towel hanging on his neck. She liked the way that towel seemed to make his arresting eyes appear the same shade. Nevertheless, she had to lower her gaze to master her runaway emotions.
-“Hello hello?” He played disguising his surprise.
She smiled with his friendly tone.
-“I knew where it was but never imagined what it would look like. So, this is what your new cave looks like.”
-“…“New”? I switched to this bedroom almost two years ago.”
-“Why was that?”
-“See for yourself.” He pointed at another room, there inside.
Although it was dark she took a step forward and could see some gym equipment and weights.
-“Whoa.” She let slip.
-“The other room was too small.”
-“I thought you exercised at the park or at a fitness club.”
-“Both correct but sometimes I rather stay at home. Depending on the occasion, these places get awfully crowded.”
-“That is so true. Especially after New Year’s Day.” She agreed again with her eyes lost in his figure.
-“There you go.” He agreed with another smile.
He was happy to have her there so near, but not knowing exactly how to react he changed the subject. -“Miss Babcock, I’m sorry but everyone in this place except for us, “dark night spirits,” is already asleep.” Making his way back to his closet he added. -“I know your favorite T-shirt slogan is: “I’m a natural blonde. Please, speak slowly,” but all I could find that would comfortably fit you was this.” He held the T-shirt in front of him.
-“Oh my God! Did Sylvia give you that?”
-“You remember?” He chuckled. -“Indeed. She was so disappointed with Morty because he didn’t like it, that she gave it to me.”
-“And now you want me to wear it?”
-“Why not?”
-“To quote someone I know: “I hope no great expectations accompany this outfit”.”
Narrowing his eyes he added. -“By the way, are you still on that ‘no-tongue diet’?”
-“No, but don’t worry, your tongue is too poisonous for my taste.”
-“You don’t have to bite at it.”
-“Niles!” She cut him pretending shock.
-“Now to quote someone I know: “I could go on like this all night”.”
-“I know.” She bit out between her teeth but enjoying it in reality. -“I knooow.” She insisted.
-“I'm sorry.” He noticed that she had opened the door with one hand, while the other seemed to be holding something hidden behind her back all the while. -“Are you going to show me what you have there? I hope it’s not a gun.”
She ignored his remark. -“Oo, this?” She showed him two glasses.
-“Glasses?”
-“And this.” She pulled a bottle of wine from a large pocket inside her coat.
-“Mmm...” He approached her with a lopsided grin. Gathering the glasses and the bottle of wine, he handed her the T-shirt. -“I don’t remember having included B.Y.O.B. in the invitation.” He jested closing the door behind her with his foot.
-“Force of habit.” She smiled.
He chuckled. -“The picture of a stove frightens you that much?”
-“What?” She asked disturbed with his proximity and with that door now closed.
-“Seriously, what happened to that tea?”
-“There is none left.”
-“Of course there is. Oh, I guess you would have to look for a new pack. So, you brought the wine.”
-“Yep.”
-“Oh brother, the first chance I had to put you working a stove and you skip.”
-“I swear I didn’t see any there.”
-“I’ll pretend I believe it. But this was a great idea, I have to admit. I don’t suppose you also have a corkscrew hidden there somewhere, do you?”
-“Sure.” She pulled one from another pocket and handed it to him.
-“Oh, goody! What are you, a Cracker Jack box?” He smiled at the accessory then mumbled under his breath. -“I wonder what other prizes she hides there.”
She heard his last remark and instinctively stepped back from him nearly stumbling over three packed suitcases standing by his door.
A chill ran up her spine. -“Are they…?” She trailed off staring at him in semi-terror.
-“You should know by now, Miss Babcock; sometimes I am serious.”
-“I can see that.” She let it out almost inaudibly.
He didn’t want to talk about his departure before he could find out what she was really up to, coming back to the mansion at that hour. He opened the bottle, filled one of the glasses then gave her a lustful glare. -“Before you get yours, go and get changed.”
She smiled uncomfortably. -“May I…may I use your bathroom?” She stammered starting to feel very agitated with his virile presence.
He sensed her embarrassment and broke the tension. -“Of course. Just don’t cover the place with your fur, please.” He teased.
-“Don’t worry.” She shot him a feigned smile. -“I’m no longer on the “no-tongue diet,” but I’m on a “no-cod-oil diet” now. I shed all I had to shed at home.” She rolled her eyes on her way to his bathroom.
He smirked.
His bathroom was spotless except for his robe and pajamas still dripping, hung on the shower tap. He would probably have them washed in the morning.
-“You’ll have fresh towels in the cabinet by the shower stall.” She heard.
-“Th-anks.” She answered alarmed by a thunder. -‘He was right. I could get in trouble going home in this weather. Thank God my car broke near the house.’ She thought drying herself before a wide mirror that Niles had over his sink.
She always knew she had a well-formed body but she never had been so conscious of that. Her feelings were ambiguous. Even though that man spent nearly 21 years telling her that she was a hideous creature, deep inside, no other man was ever capable of making her more aware of how desirable she really was. When she realized that she had never been so intimate with him, her feelings really frightened her and the fact that he was just at the other side of the door made her quickly catch that T-shirt and put it on.
She quickly brushed her hair with his brush and then timidly left the bathroom.
He was looking into his wardrobe and had his shirt on now. She didn’t know if she felt disappointed or relieved. The truth was she was dizzy and had never felt so insecure. To make things worse the T-shirt she was wearing was huge on her and made her feel funny.
-“I feel all slack and floppy! It’s all kind of loose and flowing.” She let out spontaneously.
-“That’s why you are supposed to cover yourself with that thing I gave you to wear.” He darted giving her two hangers.
-“Are you insinuat-...”
He went on before she could end her complaint. -“Here, hang your clothes so they won’t be wrinkled in the morning.”
With a hateful glare she quickly did as he said, but not without insisting. -“Are you insinuating I’m ugly?”
With his back to her he filled up her glass with wine. -“Why? Since when have you became so concerned about your appearance?”
-“Since I left Notre Dame and got my hunchback removed!” She ironically jested.
He turned and stared at her for a second. -“Now you know how I felt that day.”
Ignoring. -“May I have that drink now?” She said struggling to break the tight hold of his eyes.
He gave her the glass.
They were silent for a moment, sipping their wine and drowned in each other’s looks.
Not standing his eyes anymore she broke. -“Niles, are you that rude with other women?”
-“I'm never rude with “women”.” He drained his glass.
She was fuming. -“That does it. Look he-...”
He trod upon her protest. -“I’m kidding, C.C.. You’re lovely! Even in that huge floppy outfit.” He left his glass on a bookshelf then gently took hers from her hands.
She was motionless as he continued.
-“You are more than lovely, you are luxurious. Dangerously and damned luxurious.” He said huskily, moving closer to her and placing his warm hand on her neck, while his deep blue eyes landed on her mouth.
Her eyes were wide opened. She wanted to say ‘don’t,’ but the word didn’t come out. She wanted to push him away but just couldn’t.
Niles buried his mouth in the hollow of her throat. It was almost more than she could bear. It was heaven: that closeness, that oneness. She loved the feel of him, his muscles, which were honed to perfection in spite of the fact that he was no longer a youngster.
He backed off, giving her plenty of time to reject his move. His mouth hungered to close over her sweet one and feast there. They were both enraptured. She read that in his eyes and hers could not deny that she felt the same. Easing her arms around his neck she pulled his head to kiss her, this turn. Her breath was taken away when his fingers did the same roaming in her hair and pulling her head more snuggly against his mouth. They kissed softly at first, then with the passion that both had held back for almost three years. They kissed again and again - madly, as though they could never be satisfied. It was all too perfect. They were both in a sweet ecstasy while summoning the courage to take a further step but still enjoying the savor of something that took so long to happen again.
-“Now I remember.” Niles whispered with his lips against hers.
-“What?” She whispered back.
-“When you want you make honey taste bitter.”
She smiled.
-“I love you… I know I should have said this sooner and I regret it. But God knows I love you more than anything else in this whole wide universe, C.C..”
-“You do?”
-“You bet I do. And you know you are mine and this is going to be our night.” He said easily lifting her.
She was trying to think as straight as she could but it became nearly impossible when he kissed her again. She responded dizzily. He was standing there with her in his arms as if waiting for a green light. The kiss was deep and her feelings were on the edge. She wanted him badly but why was she still afraid to let it flow? That need to find out what he really represented - affection, love, lust… They were all always eclipsed by instinctive rejection.
Did he just say he loved her? Did she hear well? Still, he could deny whenever he wanted. They were alone within four walls; no witnesses.
She recognized that she was testing his patience a little too far with that attitude. She wanted him to make the first move; he proposed. Then she wanted him to say that he loved her; he opened up his heart and said it. Now she was all confused again?
Her mind was a mess. She remembered him hugging Susan, his story with Katherine, another floozy calling the mansion looking for Niles “the Pirate” after Nanny Fine threw a party, not to mention a handful of other cases. She was deadly afraid that she could mean the same or even less to him. That he could be just the most obstinate of men and as soon as he went to bed with her, he would have the greatest trump of all.
She froze imagining him laughing at her and telling the entire borough of Manhattan that a butler had C.C. Babcock as his “private toy” just to hurt her; to use his own words, to nail her coffin for good.
When she felt him walking towards his bed again, she was in shock. In minutes there would be no return.
-‘Concentrate! You came here to talk to him. Talk! Talk, just talk to him. Your name will be mud. That will be the end of you!’ She grasped his still moist hair and pulled his mouth from hers. -“Stop Niles!”
He was panting. -“Why?”
-“I don’t think you love me and I don’t think you ever did. As you implied many times, you want me to end up alone and miserable for the rest of my life and I bet this is another of your sick games.”
-“WHAT? Aw, and I suppose I should win an Academy Award for all those ‘marry me’ scenes.” He put her back on the floor in frustration.
She hurriedly stepped away from him totally out of breath and avoiding his eyes. -“Nothing you can say will change my mind. The hell you love me!”
-“You know I do C.C.” He took a step forward. -“…and the way you just kissed me somehow tells me you love me as desperately as I love you.” He sighed. -“Deny it as much as you want, but YOU LOVE ME!” He raised his voice.
-“Shh…” She looked at the ceiling.
-“Nobody can hear a thing-… Damn, woman! Stop running away from “you and me”! It’s obvious that we wanted this moment to happen since...” He approached as their eyes blended again. -“…since we first met in that back yard many moons ago.” Not wanting to be exact.
She knew he was right but she was still too confused. -“Hogwash, Niles! I’m sure the moment you finish your business with me I’ll be hearing verses from the “Shrew,” for the rest of my life!”
-“Miss Babcock…” He ironically restarted. -“Do you realize that I’ve been around you - as I just said - for nearly a quarter of a century?”
-“Your point?”
-“I hate when you play dumb but...” He sighed loudly. -“Can’t you see that after Fran came to this house my free time increased? That my mission with the family was somehow accomplished?”
-“Listening...”
-“Do you think I stayed around just because I thrill each time I hear that “spoiled” associate of yours call for...NILES!” He mimicked Maxwell’s voice.
-“I-...”
-“Or because I always loved to see Fran and Miss Toriello eating out of ice-cream cartons and putting them back in my sub-zero as if there was no one left in the house to eat them?”
-“I don’t-...”
-“Or because I couldn’t live without feeding “Sylvia the Hut” everyday as a bonus, when she actually should be injecting Slim Fast I.V.!”
C.C.’s face remained unreadable.
-“Or perhaps you think my favorite hobby was to be picked on by a bunch of spoiled brats?”
-“I-…Oh Niles, don’t be foolish! You love these people. You could kill someone with your bare hands if anybody threatened them just a little.”
-“True, but I would do the same if they threatened you!” He said raising his voice again. -“And do you know why?” Implying “because I love you too.”
-“Because you don’t want anybody else doing your job?”
Ignoring. -“You are right C.C..”
-“I knew it-…”
Interrupting her. -“The fact that Mr. Sheffield never changed the side of the record hasn’t diminished our friendship.”
C.C. smiled.
-“And Fran could transform my kitchen in the twilight zone and I would still be fond of her…” He trailed off.
-“What about Maggie, Grace and Brighton?” C.C. asked.
-“Well, truth be told.” Realizing. -“WHAT?”
-“What - what?” She “quacked” with a silly face knowing exactly the reason of his shock.
-“Are you trying to drive me insane?”
-“Why?” She hit sarcastically.
-“The names of the children. You memorized!”
-“Yeah-yeah. Blame it on the Prozac again.”
-“You always knew, didn’t you?”
She frowned. -“Duh, if I can have half of the showbiz yellow pages in my head, three other names wouldn’t be that hard, would they?”
Incredulous. -“Congratulations!”
-“It’s just a trademark, Niles. I pay a fortune in royalties for having the rights of pulling their legs with this “name thing.” Not to mention the fact that it makes me more evil.” She smiled ironically. -“You should know.”
-“Somehow I suspected.”
-“And they can be a pain sometimes, but I actually think they’re…” She hesitated. -“…sweet.”
-“Well, well, I couldn’t agree more, Babcock.” He added staring into her eyes not able to believe in such change.
-“Especially the little one. You know, she reminds me of you sometimes.”
-“Miss Grace?”
-“Her wit.”
He narrowed his eyes. -“You really mean it, don’t you?”
-“Of course, I do.”
-“You are a puzzle.” He puffed sounding annoyed.
-“Why so sour?”
-“I’m not sour. It’s just that a certain brun-blu-blonde has been increasing my bile levels more than the usual lately. I’m at my limit.”
-“You are?”
-“Yes, miss, I am.”
She laughed in her throaty way. -“So I suppose what you did to this “certain blonde” the other day in that kitchen you perhaps call a fairytale.”
-“Aw, that!”
-“Yes, that!”
He lowered his gaze and rubbed his eyes keeping them closed for a second. -“I knew I was going to pay for that. But if you use your memory you will recall that I was trying to…” He hesitated. -“I was trying to propose in the foyer that day, when Ms. Redgrave showed up.”
-“Oh, I knew you had something up your sleeve.”
-“That moment was all wrong. I wasn’t in the right mood and when you showed up so upset and bitching about that ex-boyfriend of yours, I chickened out. Hours later when you appeared in that kitchen all I wanted was to carry you to this very room but-…”
-“What happened, did your rheumatism stop you?”
He had a hard expression.
-“No, actually for the sample I just had here, I know arthritis wasn’t the reason.” She implied his boldness.
He was very serious. -“You are playing with me again, aren’t you?”
She ignored his question. -“So…” She said turning around and walking away from his uncomfortable obstinate look. -“…don’t tell me it was for me. If it wasn’t for the family, why did you really stay around for all these years?”
Raising his eyebrows he decided; if he wasn’t to say the obvious he would say the first foolish thing that came to his mind. -“I was hoping Mr. Sheffield could buy the farm before me and leave part of his money to his adorable butler.” He let out with a lopsided grin.
-“Are you ever serious?!”
-“You want to open those bags and see how serious I am?”
She shook her head.
-“It’s just that I hate stupid questions, Babs.”
She scoffed. -“Love? Niles, you not only spent twenty years of your life taking care of this house and family, but you also dedicated every minute you could to send me to a mental institution.”
-“Baloney!”
-“I’m your favorite mind game, admit it.” She let out the last sentence in rising anger. -“You sent me to hell!”
-“I repeat, you know rather well that is not true!”
-“Ugh!” She muttered heading to the door. -“Is the guestroom ready? I have to write my resignation letter pretty early in the morning; gotta get some rest.”
Niles was faster and made a lunge at her, catching C.C. and pinning her against the door. His mouth stopped inches from hers. -“When pigs fly, lady. It’s time to face the music.”
C.C. swallowed confused. -“Listen Downy Care, I don’t mind if you are quitting or not, I am.”
He quietly looked at her hair.
-“What?” She asked even more confused.
-“Speaking of “Downy Care,” I could sure use some Clorox here. It needs some “bleaching”.”
-“What the hell are you implying?” She was fuming.
-“Do you realize how sexy you get when you’re riled up?” He asked watching her trembling lips.
She tried to hit him in the groin with her knee but he stopped hers with his.
-“The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.” He darted in a stern voice.
-“Can’t you come up with some new material?! You know I’m not a brunette and you just admitted with that stupid T-shirt scoff.”
-“And YOU, would you stop using that “old trick” on man. I’m a baritone but if you hit me that way I would start singing like Cyndi Lauper!”
-“Well, too bad.” She fought his hands to no avail. -“Niles, there are moments in which I love to trade banters with you. This is not one of them.”
He breathed loudly. -“Okay, I admit I played with your walnut brain, but just because I always saw you as a strong and determined woman. And you know what? That’s another load of malarkey, Babcock. You never really went crackers! When are you going to admit that?”
-“What?” She let out in shock.
-“You know that, Dr. Bort knows that…”
-“Wha-…?”
-“Only you never expected I would know that.”
-“What the heck are you talking about? You called the doctors yourself…”
-“You know darn well what I’m talking about. I called that clinic because you needed assistance. You fooled me for awhile but days later I realized you were pretending that sudden breakdown. That’s the reason why you never said “clinic” or “mental institution” or “loony bin” but simply called it “The Place.” Because you were never a regular patient and you probably regretted the farce.”
She was visibly disturbed.
-“It was easier than face the humiliation, wasn’t it? That clinic was just a place where you could be sequestered for some time and get a rest, away from the things that hurt you so deeply.”
-“It’s-...It’s-...” She was defenseless. -“It’s true!” She let out defeated and near tears. -“It’s true! I wanted to run away from everything! I wanted to find a place...a corner and creep inside it.”
He watched her.
-“I wanted to shut myself away from everyone and especially from you!” She swallowed hard. -“From you calling me hideous names every chance you got. From you throwing food at me as if I was livestock and enjoying the fact that I was getting as fat as a cow. From you saying I was never able to get anything better than an “inflate-a-date”. From you laughing in my face when Fran finally married Maxwell with your big help! From you-you-you. Always you, damn it!” She was panting. -“They were finally happy, you victorious, and I-…”
-“You admit you wanted him, then?”
-“I didn’t say that! I never-...” Not knowing what to say. -“Let me go, Niles.”
-“Not so fast. You were never under shock treatment, were you?”
-“Niles, I was treated as most patients with a nervous breakdown. I was sedated most of the time. No, I didn’t go through shock treatment, it’s true, I don’t even know if they use those methods there…” Thoughtful.
He shook his head.
She added in a playful voice. -“But they made me use cotton underwear up to here.” She pointed to her neck. -“That was shocking enough.”
He smiled.
Defensive. -“Believe me, that was not summer at Club Med, Niles.”
-“You were trying to make me feel guilty.”
-“No. It was really just a flight. The pain was really unbearable.” She sighed. -“Now, can you tell me how the hell did you find out it was all... partially true?”
-“I just had a theory.”
-“What?”
-“I suspected; you just confirmed it.” He smirked.
-“You son of a-...”
He shut her mouth as he always did when she got to those extremes. She fought his hands again.
Tired of humiliating himself so constantly he let her go. -“Okay Babcock, I thought I had one more chance when I saw you back here but I was wrong. You are the same immature woman I’ve always known. Go to sleep! Write your resignation letter in the morning and leave this house forever. My heart attack was nothing compared to this but I will survive some place else.” He picked up her clothes. -“Here, take them with you.”
She gathered her things.
-“I intended to leave early tomorrow but I promised the kids I would wait until they were all out of bed. With some luck I’ll wake up with pneumonia and won’t be there to say goodbye to you.” He hated to sound like Fran but six years of Jewish household taught him a few things.
She was speechless.
He turned his back on her looking distantly through the window.
She wanted to caress that “brick-head” one last time but was afraid of the risk. If he took her one more time in his arms she sure wouldn’t resist.
With a saddened look she went out closing the door without a word.
-‘It's over. Now it’s really over.’ He thought leaning his forehead on the cold windowpane, closing his eyes and swallowing the tears.
C.C. tiptoed across the hallway. Despite the noise of the rain that about that moment had turned into a huge storm, there was no sound around. She entered the guestroom very sad and feeling strange. He was bossy and nearly kicked her out of his room but for the first time in her life she wasn’t mad, she was sorry for both of them. He could be ravishing as a twister, rude as a longshoreman sometimes, but when he wanted, there was no such a gentleman as Niles.
She hung her clothes in the shower stall and then stared at herself in the mirror as her mind divagated.
She recalled to be lying on a hospital bed two days after they first met. The man had just saved her life and instead of thanking him she was cursing him and telling him that from that day on, they would be enemies.
He was holding her after a long kiss. His words, “I hope you liked it, because from now on you’ll only have that from me in your dreams or if you knock me drunk you blue-eyed long-legged witch.” Then he left her.
She smiled at the idea. She knew how many times in her dreams she “had that” and more, much more…
She also remembered how she desperately tried to forget him during the years but failed, the way she felt threatened after Fran came to work in that house and got along with him so well. The way she played the devil incarnate, making his life miserable, driving him hot and then backing off so he would never forget her. Like the time they were in Atlantic City and he went after her, looking for his wallet. Fran left her in charge of it after suspecting he had a gambling problem. When he invaded her room like a mad man, she pretended not to know what he was doing there and teased him with the craziest come-ons. However, one more time, he didn’t fall for her “seduction techniques.”
There was another occasion, when she arrived at the mansion after a robbery. The living room was naked. Maxwell and Fran were running around like chicken at a gunfire and minding about their chachka, while Niles was left there, sitting completely strapped to a chair. She sent Max to check his precious paintings and Nanny Fine to look for her trinkets with the promise that she would untie him. She recalled how happily she said, “Thank you,” knowing exactly what she was about to do next. Since he wasn’t drunk and she wasn’t dreaming, luck seemed at her side. She took off the tie from his mouth and kissed him. The man was made of ice, however, for he didn’t budge nor responded; that made her really upset. She was tempted to tease him further and see how far he could ignore her but she then chickened out.
-“And I called Fran a tramp?” She frowned.
She sighed deeply as she recalled moments they usually shared and that she surely would miss. Like dancing or even their personal tug-of-war. One of her favorites happened after an auction, conducted by Miss Bette Middler. Fran was showing her attributes when Niles shouted out loud, “Take it off honey! Show us some skin!” She was so mad at him that she decided to challenge him to do the same after a break. In secret she told who he was and what her plans were. Then offered five grand if she had no competitors and Miss Middler played along starting the minimum bid at 75 cents and making it quickly; stopping any attempt for a larger amount. C.C. ended up being the winning bidder handing all the cash she had in her purse; exactly 37 dollars.
Unaware of her little secret, he honored the challenge behaving like a saint. He did all she asked him to do with one exception, though. She demanded of him to give her a massage session, to which he responded emphatically, “no bloody way,” and added in a sarcastic tone, “I rather give that massage to Sylvia.” That made her hit the ceiling, and in retaliation she made his wish come true. She sent him to the person in question as a gift; with Morty as a bonus. He was mad to his bones but accepted his “ordeal.” The man definitely knew how to keep his word.
She giggled. -“I got you in that one, old buddy.”
Suddenly her face was serious again. There was a thing that happened rather recently and which helped to dig the trench deeper between them and she still couldn’t get over it. Her wound was still too exposed.
After Mr. Sheffield, Grace and herself were rescued from an accident in the snow, in Boston, Maxwell invited the Blonde to celebrate Hanukkah with the family. ‘Great’, she thought at the time. She not only had to feel bitter at Christmas, now she had to feel bitter on the Jewish holidays? However, Niles was treating her so differently.
When she gave him a nice pair of sunglasses for his birthday, just a month before, he was touched. He kept using cruel words but started treating her in a totally different way, in a gentle way.
They still had about seven more days of celebration and she was curious to pop up there and see what that tradition was all about. The first try felt a little uncomfortable but she wouldn’t say unpleasant. Christmas time at Maxwell’s home used to be very dry, but now, with all those Fines around, it was upside down.
C.C. kept going back and by the third night she realized she was having quite a good time.
She liked Yetta and never hid that. Now she was also getting along with her fiancé, Sam. Her romantic side was revealed to herself when she realized she was glad that two ancient souls could find their perfect half in their late years; maybe there was hope for her and Niles.
Regarding Niles’ behavior, she really couldn’t complain. They were talking and laughing and even though it sounded crazy, he was even pampering her. Like, seeing if she had her drink or enough food and not for a second he tried to disguise the fact that he was really worried, not only about Max and Grace in that accident, but about her safety as well. Fran told her in private that he was about to “plotz” with the police department if it took them any longer to find the car.
The hours went by...
In the night before, and particularly in that one, Sam was singing beautiful love songs at the piano. Every now and then she caught herself staring at Niles and vice-versa, and when the place was too crowded they kept checking on each other furtively.
At a certain moment C.C. caught herself standing there watching the family singing with Sam, while wondering where Niles could be. She suddenly felt someone behind her. She turned around and there he was, pulling her towards the foyer.
-“What is it?” She giggled.
-“Come and see.” He whispered and pointed at the Christmas tree where Santa had left something for her this time.
-“Let me guess.” She darted. -“A new leash, right?”
-“Had I known you were into that, I would have bought one. Darn!”
-“That is not what I meant-…”
He chuckled in his baritone tone.
She felt so happy, but totally clueless of what to say in a circumstance like that. -“What-…?”
-“No bloody way.” He implied that if she really wanted to know, she had to spend Christmas with them as well.
-“Niles, I also have something for you. I think now I’ll have to come.”
-“If you want to give me something else, I won’t refuse. But the fact that you are here safe and sound is already a gift.” He sighed. -“God, I was so worried about you.”
Her face was glowing. They were alone in the hall for everyone else was around the piano. She was dying to kiss him and her eyes showed that. Niles compelled, his hands cupped her jaw line and one of his thumbs traced her lips. They kept staring at each other for a long moment and when he felt no restrain, he bent his head slowly to kiss her; her heart was beating off her chest.
Their lips lightly touched when a very annoying and snob British accent interrupted them. -“So there you are, Niles.” Jocelyn jumped in.
They immediately broke apart.
-“Come and join us. I remember you have a beautiful voice. Why don’t you come and sing a number.” She grabbed his arm pretending C.C. wasn’t there.
-“I rather not.”
-“I won’t take a ‘no’ for an answer.”
-“I’m afraid you are.” He pulled his arm from her.
The Blonde shot them a hateful glare and ran after a drink. Jocelyn made a sudden trip to the toilet. Niles wanted to go after C.C. but felt he’d rather not at that moment. He went to take care of other things only showing up when he was requested to.
C.C. hid in the study with a glass of scotch but uncommonly she couldn’t drink. She reappeared about two hours later after she realized the house was calm.
She went after Niles in the kitchen to see if he could drive her home. She had a long thought in the study and for the first time acted rationally about the Butler. She knew Jocelyn loved to get involved with the help, but Niles for one would never get mixed with Maxwell’s sister. She wanted to continue where they had left off and if that man gave her one more cue like that attempt to kiss her in the foyer, she sure intended to make him stay the night. However, it wasn’t meant to be, not that night at least… not again. When she opened the door she was hit by a painful surprise. Niles and Jocelyn were kissing. They didn’t notice her presence.
She was experiencing something like déjà vu and amnesia at the same time. -“I think I’ve forgotten this before.” She muttered with her throat tightening when she remembered Maxwell’s cousin, years before.
All she wanted was to run home but again her reason prevailed and she decided to stay behind that door and hear where that was gonna lead. She heard Niles’ protest almost immediately.
-“Will you let go of me, woman!”
-“Why?”
-“One of the reasons, because you have no idea of what you are doing.”
-“Are you saying that I’m alkie?”
-“No, I believe there must be traces of blood left in your alcohol stream.” He let out in deep sarcasm.
-“That’s kind of harsh.”
-“Next time, try Hallmark.”
-“Augh, you peeve me!” She mumbled the words.
He rolled his eyes. -“Jocelyn, you are inebriated, face it! Your breath could stop a train. Mosquitoes will catch a buzz if around you.”
She giggled. -“Would a fly without wings be called a “walk”?” She hiccupped.
-“Oh, if only women came with pull-down menus.”
-“You don’t need to be so sarky.”
-“Why don’t you go to your room and lie on a sponge?!”
-“Why don’t you show me the way?”
-“Because I don’t want you.”
-“But I want you.”
-“Listen, you don’t want me as you don’t want anybody else in this world. You had a chauffeur, a nice lad. You kicked him. Now, what do you want a butler for?”
-“Do I really have to tell you? Besides, Lester can’t be compared to you. You are highly educated. Need I say, a very interesting man?” She let out teasingly.
-“Oh, shit-a-brick!” He shook his head trying to rid it of that nightmare.
-“If you make love to me I’ll pay you. I’m not cheap but I am on special this week.”
-“Money can’t buy love.” He ignored her joke.
-“Well, it can rent a very close imitation.”
-“I don’t think so.”
-“Niles, why did you ever have to leave England? I never got that.” She hiccupped again.
-“And you’ll remain not getting it. Now sack-it! Go to your room and leave me alone, will you!” He said in a very upset tone this time.
-“Well, you can’t condemn a woman for trying.”
-“Go to your room before I tell your brother you’ve been chasing one of his employees the entire week. You know how he hates these things mixed. Read my lips, “I don’t want you”!”
-“All right, all right.” Yet another hiccup. -“But let me tell you one more thing. I threw up in the hall’s toilet.”
-“Corking!” He added with a fake smile.
-“Abysinnia!”
-“I don’t think so...” He grunted.
Jocelyn exited nearly crawling up the stairs.
-“Why do I have to be such a shedded-women-magnet?” He mumbled.
C.C. walked out from behind the door with a very serious look.
He chuckled.
-“What are you laughing about?”
-“Bad timing.”
-“Why? Because I’m another, “shedded woman” in your life?”
-“If you say so.” He shrugged tired of playing cat and dog.
-“Not tonight.” She crossed her arms and frowned. -“I should have known better.”
-“Miss Babcock, spare me you too.”
-“You can’t leave a dress tail alone, can you?”
-“Are you implying that I have anything to do with that sillymoo? Because if you are, trust me, you ARE shedded.” He raised his voice.
-“You pretend to be white sheep but you are not! And worse yet, they are always rich, aren’t they?”
-“Listen Babcock, I don’t know about you but I had a nice evening by your side up until that pain in the neck decided to start chasing me again. If you don’t want to spoil it, don’t go any further.”
-“Are you going to deny that you had an affair with Jane, too?”
-“Who the heck is-...” Recalling. -“Ugh, that was a mistake, C.C..”
-“I sent the best replacement I could provide while I was resting in that clinic and the first thing you do, you jump right onto her bed!”
-“C.C., I-...”
-“I don’t wanna hear Niles! And you are probably fooling around with that thing too.” She pointed upstairs.
-“I am most certainly not, you buffoon!”
She walked to leave the room but he grabbed her on her way out. -“Come here you.”
She reacted in a physical way that he wasn’t expecting. He tried to hold her but she squirmed and kicked like a wild filly.
-“Lemme go!” She pushed him, making him bump against the table where there were two Tupperware containers still opened next to a heat bag. The vegetable soup spilt all over the floor. C.C. froze.
Niles had a deadly stare. -“Well, that will spare you the trouble of washing and then bringing them back.” He went after a mop.
-“I’m-...”
He held his hand up. -“Don’t say you are sorry Babcock, because you are not.” He took off his jacket and tied his apron around his waist.
-“Were those for me?” She watched him wiping the table first and tossing the containers in the sink.
He put on his gloves. -“I noticed you haven’t eaten enough. Tomorrow is Sunday and I didn’t know if you were coming. As I know you are still on a diet and I had some vegetable soup left...” He started mopping the floor.
-“Niles, that was so sweet of you. Here…” She grabbed the mop. -“...let me help.”
He snatched it back nearly hurting her. -“I believe you came here to ask me to drive you home. Very well, as soon as I’m done. Now leave.”
Now she was mad. -“I know you. You are trying to make me feel guilty, aren’t you?”
Cold silence… He kept concentrating on his work. -“We live in hope.” He let out ironically.
-“And you always throw me food because you want me fat and ugly. But I have news for you, it won’t work anymore! I fell for that once and it cost me a huge sacrifice to lose all that weight. It won’t work again, Niles!”
He kept mopping with his head low. -“I don’t remember forcing food down your throat, Miss Babcock. If you got fat the fault was yours. By the way, kudos, you are back to your regular weight. Perhaps, six more months on this diet and you can reach size twelve. I’m rooting for you. Trust me, you can do it!” He said revisiting Sarcasticville.
-“Now look here-...” She pointed a finger at him.
He dropped the mop and grabbed both of her hands pulling her into his arms again and making her crush against him.
-“Ok, I admit. I gained some weight and perhaps my subconscious wanted you fat too. But ugly? I’m sorry, but that can’t be. “You” and “ugly” in the same sentence can never be.”
C.C. was visibly disturbed with those words, but the scene she just witnessed there was still too vivid. That made her jealous, bitter and very upset. -“Niles, don’t touch me with those gloves ever again.”
He nodded silently, showing he understood the message perfectly well. Letting her go, he bent over the bucket picking it up and then the mop. Turning on his heels he headed to the toilet in the foyer.
C.C. was crushed. A perfect night again spoiled by her inopportune behavior. She immediately regretted her words but it was too late. She walked to the study looking for her purse and gloves and then went after him again. He was quietly checking the bathroom, which apparently wasn’t so bad. Jocelyn had enough coordination and the decency to fit her head in it, and most of her “nice work” was gone. The Blonde was at the door staring at him but he never looked at her. Suddenly Maxwell startled them.
-“Niles!” Mr. Sheffield called from the living room.
The Butler went out, carrying the mop, the pail and nearly running over her.
She knew how badly she hurt him again; that made her heart feel as small as a grain of rice.
-“What?” She heard him grumpily ask.
Closing her eyes and breathing loudly she joined them. -“Night all.” She decided to hail a cab.
-“C.C., just a second.” Maxwell said. -“Niles, could you please drive Miss Babcock home?”
-“Why sir? It’s a full moon out there. She can flap those fat, furry wings all the way home.”
-“Never mind Maxwell and thanks for the night.” She walked towards the door.
Niles made a quick trip back to the toilet shedding bucket, mop, apron and gloves as fast as he could.
-“Miss Babcock, wait up!” Fran called. She was watching TV with Max and immediately jumped off the couch after her friend.
C.C. stopped at the door.
-“Niles sweetie, you were so worried about her three days ago. What happened?” Fran asked dragging him back to the hall.
C.C. looked at him as if asking the same question.
-“Yes old man, stop badgering her.” Max intervened. -“It’s Christmas, for heavens! What’s with that argy bargy, anyway?”
Niles looked at C.C. loosening his tie a little and heading to the closet. -“Ask the Blonde.”
She stepped aside, making room for him to put on his coat.
-“And just for the record...” He went on staring at Fran seriously. -“…I was driving her even before your husband asked.”
-“Oh, that’s my boychikul!” Fran pinched his cheek.
Maxwell smiled to himself.
-“Come, Babcock.” He pulled her on their way out.
No further lines were exchanged during their drive to her apartment.
Hanukkah was not over, but C.C. only returned to that house for Christmas. The Butler and her exchanged beautiful presents but in a reserved manner. The present he had for her was a jacket, bought to replace one that on purpose he had burned in the fireplace. Knowing it was a classic and it would never run out of style, he kept it for years before he had the guts to give it to her.
She was in heaven with the gift. It was the very same jacket meaning that he had regretted his action on the spot. She was also glad that she had something nice for him in return, a bunch of the best Reba McEntire CDs she could collect.
Both were stepping on eggshells, but they marveled at those surprises. However, something was amiss. Days before, they had hurt each other one more time, and that kept them apart again.
Until…
C.C. was startled by another thunder striking near. She realized Jocelyn was long gone and he really had nothing to do with her. She had to admit that her hormones over-reacted again and that put in doubts his possible affair with Susan Lynton too.
Her thoughts flew back one more time to their dialogue at the hospital. She remembered him saying, “How can a woman your age be so childish, so stubborn, such a pain in the rear? Listen and listen very carefully because I won’t repeat this while I live... I don’t know if you love me or not but I know you are attracted to me as madly as I am attracted to you. I’ll be there in that house in the years that are still to come. I don’t know how long a prima donna like you is going to last in that job but while you are there, you’ll meet some men and I’ll go out with other women. But I don’t think it will be the same. Now, don’t bother coming after me tomorrow morning, or next month, or probably next year. Despite the fact that my body is craving for yours I want more. I want a whole woman, mind and heart included. As you stated very well, from now on till the day you finally turn into a human being we’ll be definitely archenemies.”
C.C. went on recalling his words. -“No matter what you say - no matter what you do… I can wait one, five, twenty years, eternity, if bloody necessary! Just remember one thing: you belong to me C.C. Babcock… and I belong to you.”
She closed her eyes when she remembered their kiss after those words. She remembered that she lost track of time and space. Her arms ran around his shoulders. For the first time in her life, after jumping from one parent to the other, from boarding school to lonely university dorms, she knew that what she was feeling was more than joy, was like love. Something she thought would never happen to her and something she was about to lose for good.
Back from her reverie C.C. looked up and saw her distorted image through her tear-filled eyes. Something finally clicked in her brain. PRIDE! It was pride the thing that was destroying their love! Since the second day they had known each other he was very clear, he wanted her but he wouldn’t make a move before she changed. She didn’t help him either, calling a man that prepared a ‘servant’ for all those years. She continually hurt him deeply when all he was doing was to keep his word. And now that he finally decided to give her a chance, she was pushing him away again.
The fact that he didn’t fall for her “seduction techniques” didn’t mean that he didn’t love her nor that he was playing with her feelings, but perhaps that he was far more stubborn and proud than she was, just that. Why couldn’t she make a move this time and ask sincerely for a cease-fire?
Her head started spinning again. -‘He not only kept his pledge of not having anything with me but-... he is a very intelligent man. He could really do other things instead of being a butler all his life. As Maxwell once said and I pretended not to hear, “A man of his skills and breading is always in demand.” But he never left!’ She thought gladly. -“He stayed!” She let that last sentence out loud.
Talking to herself and walking around like a trapped cockroach she went on. -“That’s what he meant when he said he hated stupid questions. Of course he loves the family but it has to be something else. Could that bright and charming man really have dumped what could be a possible fabulous career FOR ME?” She raised her voice again. She was panting. -“My God, if he left the house to change his life, who would take care of me? Who would be my partner and my date when I didn’t have one? My best friend when I had none? He is right, I was running from the humiliation! But he played along because he knew that clinic was right for me at that point. He knew that somehow, it would help me. And he didn’t just leave me there. The nurse in charge confided in me later that he not only came to see me a pair of times when I was ‘sedated’ but he called the clinic almost every night, for Christ’s sake! Shit, if that is not love, what is it then?!” She choked on the happy tears.
-“How could I be so stupid? So-so… damn childish?!” She let out that last line very low, remembering those were his words for years.
-‘And it wasn’t him who sent me to that place, but now I know he was the reason why I unconsciously came out of it!’ She chortled. Sighing deeply she concluded loudly. -“My mentor, my partner, my best friend and doctor… when most of all he deserved and deserves to be… my lover!” She smiled at her sudden discovery.
She ran to the bathroom again to put herself together. Washing the tears off her face, she felt her spirit soar. She suddenly had the look of a child who got a brand new box of crayons on her first day of school. She knew what she wanted to do but between willing and doing it there was a huge difference. The man was upset with her; deeply hurt. She remembered that she asked God for a last opportunity earlier that night and had already wasted it.
-“That didn’t count. I didn’t have time to think. Now I did...” She looked at heaven. -“…and I want him!” She pondered. -“But what do I do?”
A lightning stroke near the block and she didn’t have to think longer to find a way.
-“Thank you.” She praised.
The lightning seemed the perfect soundtrack for the occasion. The devilish witch C.C. Babcock lost her heart twenty years ago to a knight in a shining armor, now she was about to lose her soul.
To be continued.
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