Back to Fan FictionIt had been a really lazy day at the Sheffield's. Nothing really exciting had happened the entire day. The kids were all up their rooms, Mr. Sheffield had been just finishing the loose ends on his play, and Niles was in the kitchen talking to Fran about dinner.
Scene 1
The Sheffield kitchen. Niles and Fran are sitting at the table.
Niles: You see, I am going to make this new recipe. It's just some chicken, with this new basil sauce. I hear that it is really good.
Fran: It sounds good, but will your mouth smell like a garbage can when you are done with it?
Niles: Good point. What should I make tonight than?
Fran: I don't know! How about your famous chicken with cream of mushroom over it?
Niles: But, Miss Fine I made that a few nights ago.
Fran: I know, but I am in the mood for it again.
Niles: Do you think that I should ask Mr. Sheffield what he wants?
Fran: Ooooh, I don't know Niles. Do you think that is wise? I mean, he has been in his office all day. Don't you think that he is going to be a little on the cranky side?
Niles: You know, you are right! I think that you should go and ask him.
Fran: Why me?!
Niles: In that outfit, why not you?
Fran: Oy, you know Niles, just because I am wearing a short black skirt, and a really tight black top, what makes you think that he is going to listen to me?
Niles: Come on Miss Fine!!! Please!!!!
Fran: All right.
Scene 2
Max's office. He is sitting at his desk, trying as hard as he can to stay focused on the important
documents in front of him.
Fran: Hi Mr. Sheffield!!!! How are you?
Max: Miss Fine!!! I am exhausted, I have been looking at these contracts for an hour and a half.
Fran: Oh.....poor Mr. Sheffield.
Fran walks over to his chair seductively and sits on his lap.
Fran: Is there anything that I can do?
She can feel Max's entire body tighten up............
Fran: I guess not. Well, I'll see ya at dinner.
Max: Miss Fine, wait!
Fran: Yesssss?
Max: Could you pick up my dry cleaning from the cleaners please?
Fran: Yeah, I will see ya around.
Fran walks out of Max's office, with her head hung low. 'He doesn't care about me, what was I thinking?' she thought to herself. She walked into the living room, sulking, grabs her coat, and is on her way to the cleaners.
Scene 3
The Sheffield kitchen. Niles is in thinking about what he had just heard over the intercom. 'What
am I going to do with that man? He just cannot get a clue?' Just as Niles is thinking this,
Max walks through the door.
Niles: Hello, Sir.
Max: Niles! Where is my blasted glass of wine, I asked for it an hour ago!
Niles: Sorry sir, I have just been tied up with things around the house.
Max: Never mind!!! I will just get the bloody bottle myself.
Niles: All right Sir, I am sorry. Just be careful with the door, it sometimes (beginning to go into a trance, and get an idea in his head) locks--by--itself.
He looks off into space.
Max: (condescendingly) That's why you take the key Niles.
Niles: (still in his thinking mode) OK.
Max: The KEY, Niles!!!!!
Niles: (snaps out of it) All right Sir, I will get that for you right away.
Max: Thank you!
Niles goes to get the key, and returns.
Niles: Here you are sir.
Max: This does not look like the wine cellar key Niles, it looks like my house key.
Niles: Ummm....it's just a copy........
Max: Fine, whatever. I'll be back in a few minutes. Can you at least have the blasted glass ready for me?!
Niles: Of course Sir.
Max walks down to the cellar agitated.
Max: Hmm..........let's see. Do we want a chardonay? Naaah, I worked hard today let's have a bottle of champagne.
As Max is selecting some wine from the cellar, the door begins to close.
Max: I guess I better have this key handy.
Just as Max reaches the door, it closes. He puts the key in the lock, and it does not even fit!
Max: NILES!!!!!!!
He tries again, still...nothing.
Max: NILES!!!!!!!!!!!!
Max slumps down, and thinks about what he could have done to deserve this.
Max: That's just wonderful! What am I going to do now!!!!!
As he says this his attention is brought to the bottle of champagne in his hands.
Scene 4
The Sheffield kitchen. Niles is rustling up some dinner. A smile of content on his face, but his
plan was not completely executed. He hears the front door slam, it must be Miss Fine.
Niles: Miss Fine!!
Fran: (from the living room) Yeah Niles!!!
Niles: Could you come in here for a minute, I have a favor to ask of you!?
Fran walks through the door. Mr. Sheffield's cleaning in hand.
Fran: What can I do for you Niles?
Niles: Well, my hands are kind of tied with dinner. So I was wondering if you could go down to the wine cellar and get a nice bottle of wine for tonight. You know to get Mr. Sheffield in a better mood?
Fran: Sure Niles. I'll be back. Do you have the key? You know how that door just locks on you.
Niles: Of course Miss Fine. Let me go get it, we just had a new copy made.
Fran: OK, thanks.
Niles is in and out in a flash with another 'wine cellar key'.
Scene 5
The wine cellar. Max is sitting on a crate that he managed to find in the back and drinking some
champagne. He can hear someone coming down the stairs. He had hoped that it would be Niles,
so that he could ring his neck. The door opens, and in walks Fran.
Max: Oh, Miss Fine. Thank God! Do you have the right key?
Fran: Of course, why wouldn't I?
Max: Oh, I don't know! Niles gave me the wrong one!
Fran: Oh, I am sorry to hear that. Now, Mr. Sheffield what do you want to have for a drink tonight?
Max: (trying to hide the, near empty, champagne bottle) Oh, I don't know. How about this?
Max brings Fran in close to him, and gives her one of the most passion-felt kisses that she has ever had.
Fran: What was that for?
Fran could smell the alcohol on his breath.
Max: Oh nothing. Just for being you.
Fran: That's one hell of a self-esteem booster! Come on, let's go upstairs.
Fran and Max walk to the wine cellar door hand in hand. Fran takes the tarnished looking key out of her pocket and attempts to put the key in the lock.
Fran: What the......
Max: What?
Fran: It does not fit.
Max: Oh no.
Fran: Oh no, what?
Max: Miss Fine, I think that we have been fooled.
Fran: What do you mean?
Max: Well, I came down here to get a bottle of champagne for dinner, and Niles give me this key saying that he had just gotten another copy made of the key.
Fran: He did the same thing to me!!! NILES!!!!!
Max: Shh. Shhh, Miss Fine....Niles cannot hear you. This used to be bomb shelter.
Fran: Yeah, I know. I learned that last time I was stuck here!
Max: When was that?
Fran: With Miss Babcock, don't you remember?
Max: Oh yeah, I do now.
Fran: So......what are we going to do?
Max: I don't know. Do you want some wine?
Fran: Mr. Sheffield, you know that I cannot hold anything that has any alcohol in it.
Max: Oh come on Miss Fine!!! Live a little.
Fran: But-
Max: Come on! What else can we do down here, but drink?
Fran: I guess you are right.
Max: So you'll have one?
Fran: All right, but just a tiny sip.
Max handed her a new bottle of wine, that he picked out from the 'French section'. She drank without even tasting it. Her eyes were focused on Max, who was looking at her just as intently. Max's desires were filled even more than usual. The alcohol had really taken it's toll on him this time. All he could look at were her eyes, and another place that was forbidden territory, at the moment. To break the tension, Max grabbed hold of Fran's hand and tugged on it a little bit causing her to sit on his lap (he was already sitting Indian style on the floor). Their lips only millimeters away, both of their hearts beating a million miles an hour. Max found his lips moving toward hers. Not exactly kissing her, but just letting his lips caress hers. Fran began to lie down on top of him....which is when Max lost his abandon, and came back to his old self by sitting up and saying:
Max: So......tell me Miss Fine.....What do you have against drinking?
Fran: (disappointed) Oh, nothing, I just can't hold it down very well. Like, remember that one time I got drunk from friend's nanny party and woke up in bed with you the next morning?
Max: (under his breath) How could I forget?
Fran: What did you say?
Max: Oh, nothing....I just meant yes, I remember.
Fran: OK, well anyway, that was from one drink. I think that it has something to do with my liver.
Max: Oh, I see.
Fran: Are you all right?
Max: Yeah, I am OK.
Fran: So, tell me what were you so busy with today?
Max: What?..........Oh this and that. I had to revise the contract for Mandy Patinkin again.
Fran: Oh, I am sorry to hear that.
Max: It's not your fault. It's bloody Mandy Patinkin's!!!
Fran: Oh, Mr. Sheffield......relax!!! You are always so tense. (Under her breath) Even when you are drunk!................Here, why don't you lie down?
Fran gently yanked on Max's shoulders, and brought his head down to her lap. There, she gently stroked his thick hair and gave him a sweet kiss on the lips.
Max: What was that for?
Fran: Just for being you.
Max smiles and wraps his arm around the nape of her neck. He braces himself, and lifts himself up to her level. He leans in slowly, and kisses her on the lips very tenderly and sweetly. Fran tries to open her mouth to say something, but Max stops her by another more wanting kiss. He sits up completely, and begins working on her shirt, while Fran is working on his.
Max: Oh, Miss Fine!!! I am sorry that I treated you the way that I did this afternoon!
Fran breaks away, and her senses come to her.
Fran: That's right! Why did you treat me like that?!
Max: I was tired and irritable, and you know how I act when I get into one of those moods!
Fran: Yeah, but I also know how you act when you have had too much to drink!
Max: Miss Fine, it isn't like that this time!
Fran: Oh yeah? Then how is it different?!
Max: Because I have had too little to act like a fool, and just enough to want you even more!!!!
Fran: What do you mean even more?
Max: What do you think that I mean? I said it in London.
Fran: What?
Max: You know.....
Fran: No, I don't. Besides, even if I did, I would want to hear it from your own mouth not mine.
Max: (softly) That I wanted you.
Fran: I can't hear you!
Max: That I wanted you.
Fran: One more time!
Max: THAT I WANTED YOU!!!!!!
Fran: OK, well, now that I know that you do....why don't you ever act like it? Are you embarrassed to be in love with a blue collar girl?
Max: No of course not!!!
Fran: Then what's the problem?
Max: I don't know....I just don't know!
Fran: You know what, I have bought into that for almost 4 years now. It's enough already. I am going to find a way out of here.
Max: Miss Fine, please don't go. I really do care for you.
Fran: Yeah, sure, right.
Max: Look Miss Fine, I know that I have not always been the best person to be around, but the truth is, I really don't know how to act when I am around you.
Fran: OK, I am listening, but you better make this good.
Max: Miss Fine, ever since I met you I have never been able to act the same.
Fran: How do you mean?
Max: I am a softy, so to speak. I used to be just like CC, but you brought some warmth into my life. I care so much about you, and I really do love you.
Fran: Well, if you love me so much, than why do you treat me like you do?
Max: Well, since my wife died, I think that I have almost forgotten how to express love.
Fran: Well, I could teach you again. I am sure that I am no Sarah, but I can try to be. I will take good care of you, I love you.
Tears shown in Max's eyes. Nobody has ever said anything that sweet to him since Sarah. As he blinked, the tears rolled down his cheeks. The only thing that he could seem to say between his sobs was:
Max: Please teach me.
Fran held him close, and grabbed a muffled Kleenex out of her pocket. She gently dabbed his eyes.
Fran: It's going to be OK. We are going to be OK. I am sorry that I yelled at you.
Max: That's all right.
Max grabs her wrist just as she's dabbing his eyes, and kisses it. His kisses move up her arm to her shoulders, to her neck, and then finally to her lips where he gives her a sweet and passionate kiss, which Fran could tell that he poured his heart into. He slowly put his arms around her, and pushes her down to the ground, where they started removing each others' clothes. Max immediately goes to her shirt while Fran is working on his pants. Max stops and says,
Max: Wait!
He tries waddling, because his pants are at his ankles, but he has little success. He yanks his pants off and runs over to the bare wall on the far side of the cellar. There, he pulls down a cot from the wall.
Max: How's this?
Fran: Perfect.
She walks over to him, and he draws her to the bed.
Max: I have been wanting to do this for the longest time.
Fran: Oh, have you?
Max: You better believe it!
Fran and Max indulge in their passions, and fall asleep snuggled in each others' arms.
***
Niles had awoken early that morning, for the suspense was killing him. He quietly walked down the winding stairs and he found himself at the door of the wine cellar. He quietly turns the key, and opens the door. At first he sees nothing, but than , out of the corner of his eye, he sees the most beautiful sight he has ever seen. Fran and Max fast asleep, under the covers, nestled in each others' arms.
Niles: (whispering) Mission accomplished!!
P.S. I could not have done a lot in this story if it weren't for the great advice of Julia.
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