C.C.'s Secret

by

Aimee
(aimeed@earthlink.net)

C.C. looked up from her laptop. "Maxwell, where are you? I see your face, but the brain is on vacation in a big way, and it's annoying me."

"I'm sorry, C.C., I'll try to concentrate. It's just that I'm so worried about Gracie."

"Maxwell, it's a date. Nothing big. A movie, a hamburger, some groping in the backseat." Maxwell shot her a look. "What? I was only kidding! Come on, Maxwell, let's just finish this one last script edit so I can get it copied and delivered tomorrow, and you can go back to pacing and freaking out."

Maxwell stood over her shoulder as she sat at the big desk, suggesting changes as she went along. The death of the writer the month before had left them with a script that needed major revisions only a month away from opening night.

"What would you think if we just cut this whole mushy love scene out? I mean, it's totally romance-novel unrealistic, and nobody cares about these characters anyway. They like the bitchy one and the snide guy that's always insulting her," C.C. said.

"I disagree. The main characters are the pulse of the show. Their romance is what it's all built on."

"Yes, but this is such a perfect ensemble piece and I don't think we're making full use of the supporting characters. Anyhow, they're so nauseatingly nice. Maxwell, are you listening to me?"

"Umm, yes, that sounds good," he replied.

"Maxwell, I didn't actually suggest anything just then."

"Very well, C.C., whatever you like."

"What would you think if the wife, the blonde, and the butler had a big group sex thing right on stage while the dad is in the office pretending he's working?"

"That sounds lovely, C.C.. You go with that. Good work."

C.C. saved her work and began shutting down the computer. "That's it. I'm leaving. I have a life, and I don't intend to waste another moment of it doing nothing here with you." How symbolic, she thought. If only I'd said that years ago. Well, better late than never.

C.C. rose and slipped the laptop into its case.

"Where are you going?" Maxwell asked in confusion.

"Home."

Maxwell glared at her. "And when you go home, C.C., just go directly to the kitchen. Leaving by the front door and having Niles sneak you in the back isn't fooling anyone. And do try to keep the noise down tonight."

C.C. laughed very low. "What's the matter, Maxwell? Jealous because you've never made a woman scream and your butler has?"

"Hey, don't bet on it," Fran defended him, entering just as C.C. left.

She walked to Maxwell as he sat down, and perched herself in his lap. Maxwell stared after the departed C.C. and grumbled, "There is too much sex being had in this house by people who aren't me."

Fran grabbed his lapels and kissed him breathless. "I can fix that," she murmured.

Maxwell gathered his wife into his arms and began to carry her over to the green leather sofa that constituted C.C.'s "office." However, he soon thought better of trying to carry a very pregnant Jewish woman and let her walk by herself.

Just as she was pulling him down to her, the telephone rang.

C.C. entered the kitchen as quietly as possible. She loved the rare occasions when she had the opportunity to watch him unseen. She loved to watch his big hands move, to study the way his hair curled over his collar, to appreciate the rear view under those proper suits of his. Most of all, she loved anticipating the time when they could be alone and that formal, elegant demeanor would fall away with his clothes and the passionate man underneath would be revealed to her alone.

Unfortunately, this was not to be one of those times when she could watch him unseen. Niles heard her enter at once. He was taking a tray of warm cinnamon scones out of the oven. A silver tray with tea, clotted cream, and jam sat on the island. The aromas filling the kitchen were absolutely incredible. Baking meant Niles to her now, just as the scent of his cologne did, or even, silly as it was, Lemon Pledge. And Niles meant that easy affection she'd come to depend on in so short a time it frightened her.

He came to her and embraced her. "You can't sneak up on me, woman, I can sense your evil vibes by now."

"Oh, really?" she asked, laughing low. "What about the other day when you were sweeping the terrace and singing 'Uptown Girl?'"

Niles gave her a horrified look, and she moved in to kiss it away. But just as he wrapped his arms around her waist and touched his lips to hers, the telephone rang. Niles groaned and picked it up.

"Miss Grace? What's wrong? All right, just try to calm down and tell me what happened." He was aware of the curious C.C. hanging over his shoulder. "It's going to be all right, Miss Grace. I'll come and get you. Just tell me where you are." Niles jotted down some information on a pad. "Yes, of course. Mr. Sheffield, are you on the line? Please ask Mrs. Sheffield to be ready to leave immediately. You just sit tight, Miss Grace, we'll be there soon."

Niles hung up and turned to C.C. "I'm afraid Miss Grace's first date has taken a rather nasty turn." Despite his calm words, his face had gone ashen, and C.C. was frightened. "Mrs. Sheffield and I will be going to pick her up. Would you rather go home tonight? I'd understand if you preferred not to wait."

"No, I'll wait if you don't mind. Maybe I'll take a nap up in your room until you get back." She gave him a catlike smile. "It's not like I'll get much sleep later on."

Fran tore into the kitchen in a panic. "My baby needs me! Niles, are you coming or not?"

Niles kissed C.C. quickly and turned to go without another word.

C.C. ended up forgoing her nap to play counselor to Maxwell as he paced the living room. "What could have happened? Grace wouldn't say a word, but she was crying. Maybe Niles knows something. He was on the line with her first. What did he tell you?"

"Simply that her date took a rather nasty turn and he had to go get her. That could be anything, Maxwell. She could just have quarreled with him over what movie to see."

Maxwell continued to pace. Secretly, a deep fear welled up in C.C. that something far worse had happened to the Sheffields' innocent youngest, but she refused to acknowledge the word for what it was.

It can't be, she thought. If it were that, we wouldn't know. It would be a secret.

If it were that, surely no one would have noticed. They were all just being paranoid.

It was nearly an hour and a half before Niles and Fran returned with Gracie. C.C. stood next to Maxwell as they came in. Niles came in first, grimly silent. He clapped a hand to Maxwell's shoulder and passed through into the kitchen.

Fran came in with her arm around Gracie's shoulders. There were tears in the eyes of both mother and daughter. Grace's whole face was puffy from crying, yet she looked deathly pale. Her shoulders were hunched over and her hair hung in her face as though she were trying to hide herself.

"What happened?" Maxwell demanded.

Grace was unable to answer. She just ran to him and held him tight.

Fran's voice was quiet. "Nothing happened. Miss Babcock, you must be bored out here with us. Why don't you go spend some time with Niles?"

Translation: family moment. C.C. obligingly turned, but not before one last look at the girl, and there was no longer any question in her mind what had happened. The pallor, the silent tears, the hunched-over posture were as familiar to her as if it were she who stood there in Gracie's place.

C.C. hurried into the kitchen where she found Niles trying to battle back his anger and fear. He stood, fists clenched on the kitchen table, the expressions flitting across his face in a terrible amalgamation of pain. C.C. crossed to his side and put her arms around him from behind.

Her touch was soothing. She was the last woman in the world that anyone would expect to be an angel of mercy, yet for him, only C.C.'s pale, slender hands and soft, yielding body could absorb what he felt. He relaxed in her arms for several moments before she spoke. "Is it true? Is that what happened to her?"

Niles sat down in a kitchen chair and pulled C.C. onto his lap. She held him as he lay his head on her breasts. "No," he said. "Miss Fine -- Mrs. Sheffield -- taught them well. She was able to -- well -- she got away."

C.C. breathed a sigh of relief that seemed to come all the way down from her toes. "That's wonderful."

"Well, do I look like Mary Poppins? Okay, not wonderful, but she was lucky. No, you won't like that either. Let's just say a lot of girls aren't that fortunate given the circumstances. It could have been much, much worse."

Niles nodded and they both fell silent.

"Shall we?" C.C. asked.

Niles sighed. "I hate to ask it of you, because I know I won't be much use to you tonight. I'm too upset. Would you just stay with me? We'll go have a picnic up there."

"Of course. Let's go." C.C. surprised herself. She was staying, yet she wasn't getting sex. She felt something inside her that was tender and melting, yet had nothing to do with lust. It frightened her, but she knew she couldn't leave him if he needed her. Besides, there was someone else who might need her.

Upstairs, Niles excused himself to change into pajamas and C.C., seeing that he was safely in the bathroom and wouldn't know what she was doing, wrapped a scone in a napkin and left silently and swiftly to run down the hall on her toes. She came up outside Grace's door just as Fran was coming out.

Fran looked at her uncomfortably. "I have to go check on Maxwell. Would you just sit with her a moment?"

C.C. nodded. "Don't worry, Fran. If anyone's hungry, there's a whole tray of scones in Niles' room. I brought her one, if she's got the stomach for it."

Fran looked at her solemnly. "You know, don't you?"

C.C. nodded again, and offered a slight smile. "Don't worry, even I'm not insensitive enough to go upsetting her under circumstances like these."

Fran smiled faintly and left to go check on Maxwell.

C.C. entered Grace's room. She'd never been inside before. It was a child's room, all white with purple flowers. Grace still had her dollhouse and a couple of dolls in there.

Grace herself was already tucked into bed. She looked up at C.C. with exhausted, wary eyes. "Miss Babcock, what are you doing here?"

C.C. sat down on the edge of the bed, being careful not to touch the girl. She knew too well that at this stage, it wouldn't be welcomed. "I brought you a scone," she answered, smiling brightly. "There's more if you want them. But maybe you're not hungry just now." Grace shook her head. C.C. set the scone on the bedside table and tried again. "Niles and I were very worried about you."

Grace gave her a skeptical look. "You were worried about me?"

C.C. frowned. "Look, Grace, I'm going to tell this to you straight. I know I'm not exactly Julie Andrews, and I don't blame you for being wary of me. But you're going to be in for a rough time of it and it might seem like nobody understands. I just want you know, if you need to talk and it doesn't seem like anyone knows what you're going through, there's someone here who knows exactly what you went through."

"You?" Grace looked up at C.C. in surprise. C.C. was cold, strong, aggressive. She was also intimidatingly beautiful and very elegant. "I can't imagine somebody trying to do that to you."

"Well he did, and I wasn't much older than you. I can hear Fran coming back, so I'll be brief. I know I'm not good for much when it comes to children, but this is something I understand, so if you need a confidante, I'm here."

Grace smiled for the first time since C.C. entered. "Thanks, Miss Babcock."

C.C. rose. "My pleasure, Grace," she said a little awkwardly, surprised she could even remember the girl's name. "Listen, I'd appreciate it if my past history were kept between us, though. I don't want it gossiped about by the rest of the family. Okay?"

Grace looked up at her with a world of sadness in those young eyes. "I understand, Miss Babcock." Then, seeing the faraway look in C.C.'s eyes, she asked nervously, "Miss Babcock? Did you get away in time?"

C.C. stood tall and suddenly her features became like a mask. "No, Grace. I didn't."

Neither spoke for a long moment, but C.C. lay her hand on Grace's very briefly, and both accepted the simple communication in that touch. Then, Fran came bustling in and C.C. left.

When C.C. pushed open Niles' door, he was sitting on the bed spreading clotted cream on a scone. He dabbed a bit of jelly on it and handed it to her. He started preparing one for himself. "Where did you go? To see Grace, I presume?"

"Yes. Fran needed to spend some time with Maxwell, so she asked me to sit with Grace for a moment."

"What did you do?"

"Nothing. I took her a snack and we just sat there," C.C. lied. She took one token nibble of the scone and set it down, unable to stomach food. "You know, I'm not so very hungry. I'll eat later."

Niles wolfed down a couple of scones while she waited patiently. Then, she sat with her back against the headboard. He lay his head in her lap and she stroked his hair until he fell asleep. Then, she scooted out, undressed, and crawled into bed beside him.

She couldn't sleep, though, and spent most of the time watching him tenderly. He awoke once, for just a few seconds, and she gently touched his forehead with her lips.

The next afternoon, C.C. was alone in the office feeding the completed script through the photocopier when Grace came quietly in and stood shifting awkwardly from foot to foot.

"Miss Babcock? I've been wanting to talk to you, but Fran hasn't left me alone long enough."

C.C. nodded. "Everyone's gone. Want to go to the kitchen for some ice cream?"

"Sure, Miss Babcock."

Once they were each equipped with ice cream and sitting at the table, an awkward silence prevailed. C.C. toyed with a curl that dangled by her left temple, softening the dramatic upsweep she'd fashioned for her hair. She waited, fingers twined in the silky little strand, while Grace prepared to talk.

"We were having fun. We went to a movie and ate a hamburger for dinner, then he said he wanted to take me to a new hangout of his. It turned out to be this fair that was shut down a couple of weeks ago and was all abandoned and empty. We went inside. I was so excited. I thought maybe he was going to kiss me. Well, he did, but he didn't stop when I told him to. I pushed him away and kicked him and ran.

"Pretty soon I found a restaurant. I had a little money, so I ordered a coffee and called Niles and Mom to come get me. The rest you know."

C.C. nodded. "Let me guess how you feel," she said, trying to soften her usually brusque tone. "You don't really want to be touched, food doesn't sound good, you wish all your skirts were longer and your sweaters weren't so tight. You think it must be written on your face what happened, and you're not sure whether to be upset or relieved when people don't notice."

Grace nodded. "I threw up this morning at the police station."

C.C. was silent, not knowing what else to say. She just smiled a sad, commiserating smile. Finally, Grace asked her, "Miss Babcock, why don't you want anyone to know about you?"

C.C. sighed. "Grace, it's been over twenty years and I still don't like to talk about it. You should have seen Niles last night. He was shaken very badly by your experience. If he knew about mine, he'd probably be upset and there's no reason to put him through that."

"He loves you a lot," Grace said. "I think he'd be crushed if he knew anyone hurt you."

"I guess. It just seems very egotistical of me to think he'd get that worked up about something that happened a long time ago and no one noticed when it happened."

"Can you tell me about it?" Grace asked softly. For some reason, she felt that if this could happen to the indomitable C.C., maybe she wasn't so weak and stupid for letting it almost happen to her. But C.C. hesitated. "Please, Miss Babcock, I know it's hard, but I need to feel like someone understands!"

"I'll try. I know you need someone to understand. My experience was very similar to yours. I was your age, I was on a date, and he got -- well, shall we say persuasive. When it was all over, he drove me home and warned me not to tell lest I should get a reputation and any other guy I dated would expect it, too. Needless to say, that was the last thing I wanted so I never told a living soul. No one noticed, either, because I got home on time and I covered my emotions well. So the first person I ever told was my therapist, a couple of years later. The second person was you. And I'm really glad you were able to get away. You were terrific. I'm also glad you didn't keep it secret the way I did."

Neither of them heard Niles enter the room, so engrossed were they in their mutual confessions. He quietly stood there holding a grocery bag and eavesdropped on the unusual combination of Grace and C.C. bonding over the Rocky Road. Grace said shyly, "Thank you, Miss Babcock. It really helped, being able to talk to someone who actually understands what I'm talking about."

"I'm glad I could help."

"Are you ever going to tell anyone, even Niles?"

He stiffened at the mention of his name. What was C.C. concealing from him?

"No," C.C. replied. "It was long ago, and I've resolved those issues as much as they'll ever be resolved. There's no need for Niles to know I was raped."

The sound of shattering glass shocked them as Niles dropped the bag he was holding. C.C. leapt from her chair and whirled around to find Niles standing there in silence, a look of unutterable horror on his face. "Babcock!" he gasped. C.C. was unable to move or speak. She simply stood with her hand over her mouth.

She lay face down on his bed, not looking at him. He sat beside her, his hands massaging her rigid back. "Did you think I wouldn't love you anymore?" he asked.

C.C. shook her head stubbornly without lifting it from the comforter. "No, I just didn't want to see you hurt."

"C.C., it feels like I've been socked in the gut with a bayonet, but I welcome it because now I know what you've been living with for decades and now that I share it, maybe you won't hurt as badly."

"Trust you to bring up my age at a time like this," she joked weakly. C.C. turned over and curled up against him, her head on his thighs. He stroked the golden hair, gently pulling the pins out so that a pile of tiny ringlets spilled out over his thigh.

"I still can't believe you know and -- and you don't hate me."

"After this long, you still believe something terrible will happen to you if you tell? Does he have you that brainwashed?"

"I guess he did, till you came along." C.C. sat up, peering at him in surprise as she revealed her thoughts, which were new even to her. He was shocked to note the tracks of silent tears on her face. He hadn't even known she was crying.

Well, that hardly came as a surprise. For over twenty years, no one had known she was crying.

Niles gathered her into his arms. C.C. cuddled against him, feeling his strength and courage fill her. It didn't take away the pain, but now she felt as though she could bear it.

"C.C.," he said softly. "I can't take away what happened to you, or, more's the pity, find and slowly murder the man who did that to you. I'd like to give you his privates for a play toy." C.C. laughed deviously. "But I will make it up to you however I can. I want to make love to you a hundred times each for that night and every time you've relived it in your nightmares. I will shower you with gentle touches for every time he wasn't gentle. I will kiss every inch of your sweet, lovely body over and over to make up for every bruise he left."

Niles looked to be in a fair way to go on all night. C.C. stopped him by pressing her fingertips to his lips. "Sounds good to me," she said. She knew that he'd had a shock and needed the comfort as badly as she did.

Niles was as good as his word. He kissed her lips so gently that she herself pressed her lips to his to deepen the kiss. He touched his lips to her throat, her ear, her delicate jaw. He slid the strap of her camisole down her arm and kissed the skin where it had lain. And all the time he faced her, watching her eyes, her lips. And when he finally, slowly, united their bodies, he looked into her eyes the whole time.

Niles' love had healed C.C. of many wounds: the fear that she was getting old and unattractive, the fear that she was completely unlovable, the fear that money and position were her only friends. But now, slowly, her most formidable wound began to heal. However accidentally, she had breached the gulf of silence that stood between her and the rest of the world. Her tragedy had gone unnoticed by her friends, her family, her nanny. But now one person knew, someone who gave her back the sweet belief in herself and others that had been taken from her that night when she was just a child.

C.C. had had many lovers in her life. Some she enjoyed, some she did not. But none made of her body a temple the way Niles did, or made a benediction of what had once been a violation. As a consequence, she felt almost shy when she tried to reciprocate, to worship him as he did her. But her eyes told him.

As they lay together, arms and legs entwined, catching their breath, C.C. thought about the aftermath of that other time and the many times in between. She wondered if maybe this post-coital moment was the best measuring stick for a relationship. After all, she'd had great sex before. But she'd never had a great aftermath, one where she never felt shy or embarrassed or distant. She kissed his chest and lay her cheek against the spot she had kissed.

"What was that for?" Niles asked drowsily.

"Because I'm happy and you're wonderful and I wanted to show you," she replied. Niles pulled her close to him so that he could kiss her bright hair. They lay so close on the pillow that their noses almost touched. With the last of her energy she traced his mouth with her fingertip. He kissed it, and her eyes closed and her fingertips fluttered down to rest lightly against his neck as her breathing became soft and even.

She would remember that night as the calm before the storm

Some weeks later, life in the Sheffield house had returned to normal. Although no one spoke of it explicitly, some inkling of C.C.'s secret was guessed at due to the uncharacteristic tenderness with which she cared for and listened to Grace.

Shaken but unharmed, Grace slowly became the girl she used to be. At first she ran when anyone tried to discuss it, but gradually the message got across to her that she had no reason for shame. She dealt with her anger in therapy and with C.C., and at C.C.'s suggestion, was signed up for a self-defense course. At Michael and Maxwell's insistence, Maggie attended as well.

The world was sunny again for the family. Fran grew huge as her twins approached, and Maxwell's pride and excitement grew accordingly. Maggie and Michael were married. C.C. spent the night often, and during the day, Niles' eyes could frequently be seen tracing her profile with delight and admiration. More often than not, she would sense his stare and glance back at him with a face so full of love they barely recognized the C.C. they had always known. And of course, the fond insults were volleyed back and forth as always.

The preparations for a new show were in full swing, and the backer's audition was only two weeks away one morning when C.C. came breezing into the office to be greeted by an ecstatic Maxwell.

"C.C., I have the most wonderful news! I met a gentleman at the Manhattan Men's Club that might be interested in investing several hundred thousand dollars in our show!"

"Maxwell, how fabulous! When do I get to meet him?"

"He'll be by this afternoon. Can you ask Niles to whip up a little feast? He gets so grumpy when I ask at the last minute, but he'll listen to you."

C.C. smiled innocently. "Why should Soft-Scrub listen to me?"

"Because he's bloody shagging you rotten."

C.C. gasped. "Maxwell! Fran and I should never have let you two watch Austin Powers. It's had the most terrible effect on your vocabulary. Niles informed me the other day that I was shagadelic." She shook her head, amused. "So what's this generous theater lover's name?"

"Alexander Caldecott."

A sense of foreboding settled on C.C., and she couldn't explain why. "Where have I heard that name before?"

"I can't imagine. He's been living in Europe for some time now."

"What does he do?"

"He's an investor. Fancies himself something of an explorer. You know, travels around looking for exotic ways to make money instead of just hiring a genius business manager like I did." Seeing C.C. perched on the sofa arm smiling brightly to herself and barely paying attention, he thought, not for the first time, that he was glad things had worked out the way they did. C.C., for all her claims to loving him once, had never gone around smiling just because she'd seen him for one fleeting moment, never gazed at him with eyes full of emotion, never once softened that harsh exterior and let him in. Niles had done all this for her and more.

"Well," she said brightly. "I'm sure it's nothing. I can't wait to meet him."

Maxwell rubbed his hands together exultantly, looking at the feast spread out before him on a side table in the living room. "Excellent work, old man. There's nothing like your cooking to soften up an investor."

Niles sulked. "Sorry I didn't have time to breed the oysters myself."

"Oh, now, don't be like that. I'll make it up to you. How about dinner for two at Le Cirque? C.C. loves it there."

Their eyes both rested on the bent head of the woman who sat reading a magazine on the sofa. Maxwell watched that worshipful expression cross Niles' face. "That would be wonderful, sir. Of course, I extorted the hell out of Miss Babcock, too."

"Needless to say. What did she have to promise you?"

Niles smiled to himself. "Oh, a gentleman never tells, sir. But I'm sure you'll hear her screams."

Maxwell winced. "Good God, old man, can't you take it to her place just this once?"

Niles' smile widened. "We will be."

Max rolled his eyes.

Just then, the doorbell rang. "That's him!" Max exclaimed. C.C. rose to stand at his side.

Niles opened the door. A handsome, dark-haired man in his late thirties or early forties stepped in and handed Niles his trenchcoat with a winsome smile. Everything about him radiated openness and friendliness.

He crossed the room in a few strides. "Good afternoon, Maxwell. Thank you for inviting me over to talk about this investment."

Maxwell shook his hand. "Hello, Alex. I'd like you to meet my business partner, C.C. Babcock.

Alex turned to her, and took her cold, limp hand in his. "We've known each other for a while. Years, in fact. Hello, C.C."

C.C. only stared up at him with a face full of horror.

For a moment it looked like she might faint, and Maxwell lay a restraining hand on her arm. But she recovered herself sufficiently that when Alex tried to shake her hand, she was able to pull her hand away, put both hands behind her back and glare defiantly. Every muscle in her body was tense.

"Well, old friends, how nice. Shall we go into the office to talk?" Maxwell grabbed the tray of snacks and started walking. Alex offered C.C. his arm, but she shook her head. "Go on without me, Maxwell. I'll be there in a moment."

As soon as the two men were gone, C.C. looked around frantically. "Niles!" she shrieked.

"Right behind you, my love," he replied, sliding his arms around her waist from behind.

C.C. squirmed away. "Niles, that's him! That's the man!"

"What, the new backer?" he asked, confused. "I know."

"No," she wailed. "That's him! My -- my -- " She gulped. "My big date when I was fourteen."

"Jesus!" he breathed. C.C.'s attacker, right there in their house, invading their sanctum, trying to touch her hand. He grabbed her and pulled her into the kitchen. "Where are we going?" she asked.

"To get a butcher knife."

C.C. spent a few minutes in the kitchen with Niles, calming down before she rejoined the gentlemen in the office. He showed her every kitchen utensil in the place and made a few suggestions as to which parts of Caldecott's body any given item might be applied to. "Do you want me to tell Mr. Sheffield about his new investor, or will you?" he asked her.

"Don't you dare say a word. We'd lose a fortune, and the rumors would sink us even faster than losing an investor."

"But you can't seriously propose to associate with him, after what he did to you!" he argued, enraged.

In the end, C.C. was firm. "It happened twenty years ago. If he tries anything, I'll kill him in cold blood. But for now, I just have to get through this so we don't lose his money."

"I won't have you spending time with that animal!"

"I promise never to be alone with him."

"Damn straight you won't."

C.C. kissed him. "I must go. I promise, I'll be all right. If Maxwell leaves us alone for any reason, I'll come find you or Nanny Fine. All right?"

"Or the bagel cutter," he said darkly. It was eating him alive having C.C. confronted with the man who destroyed her innocence so long ago and watching her try to be brave. For, despite her bold words, there was a cold terror in her eyes that sickened him when she begged him not to interfere.

C.C., however, was unable to keep her promise not to be alone with Alex, for as soon as she entered the living room on her way to the office, she saw him there waiting for her.

She looked frantically behind her, thinking to shout for Niles. But he rose and stood a few feet away from her, keeping a safe distance. "Maxwell is on the phone, so I thought it would be more tactful if I came out here to wait for you."

"I swear to God, if you come anywhere near me, I will kill you."

"C.C., all that happened twenty years ago. I was a different person. I have changed. I am deeply sorry for what I did to you, but I have never done that to another living human being and I never will. Can't you forgive me?"

"Umm, no. What I can do is maintain a polite distance so you can invest in our play. If you try to kiss ass to me or come near me, I'll throw you out myself, both from this house and this play. You keep your distance, I keep mine, everybody's happy."

"And the butler doesn't have to come after me with a meat cleaver." C.C. had been about to breeze past him, but she froze, her back to him. "Oh, yes, C.C., I know. Maxwell mentioned it, seeing as how you and I are such old friends and he wanted to catch me up on all your news. How very amusing. Well, whatever floats your boat, I guess."

"I love him," she responded proudly. "He's ten thousand times the man you are, and just in case you need a reminder, he for one doesn't have to resort to physical force to get a woman into his bed."

"Actually, it was the front seat, but never mind. Shall we go?" Once again, he offered her his arm, and once again, she breezed right by him only to be stopped by the silky-smooth sound of his voice. "Don't screw this up, C.C. Don't do anything rash."

"Go to hell," she replied, but he could hardly hear the words.

After more then twenty years, he was still in control.

Well, she had Niles in her corner, and maybe it was time to team up and give Alex just a taste of what they were capable of.

The front door closed behind Alex Caldecott and Maxwell's sunny "everything's wonderful" smile melted and he turned on C.C.. "Just what the hell was going on in there?"

"That would be Miss Babcock's subtle way of telling Mr. Caldecott to go to hell," Niles supplied helpfully.

"I see. And in view of your feelings for Miss Babcock, you wouldn't know anything about that stomachache he mysteriously acquired after you brought in dessert?"

"If I'd bloody poisoned him, he'd be dead."

"Actually, Maxwell," C.C. said helpfully, "I made Niles promise to mind his own business. Alex's stomachache would probably have something to do with me gutting him with our Tony award."

"Well, at least he's still willing to invest, though I can't imagine why." Maxwell grumbled. "Now would you care to explain?" Kept ignorant of the entire situation, he had no way of knowing that she was angry and afraid.

C.C. gave Niles a hesitant look. "No, Maxwell. I promise to behave myself. I don't want to jeopardize our relationship with him any more than I have to."

"That's the spirit. Let's start seeing that, shall we?"

"Yes, Maxwell."

"Yes, Sir."

Maxwell exited, all smiles again.

"English Pig-dog," said C.C..

"There's enough air in that head to pop popcorn," said Niles.

"Wow. Yours is better."

"Yours was more concise," Niles said generously.

Weeks went by and the lovers were true to their promise to behave. The backer's audition was a stunning success, C.C. always managed to be elsewhere when Caldecott was around, and Niles maintained a protective presence which somehow always involved a long, sharp blade. But he never gave up trying to persuade C.C. to reveal her secret so they could be rid of Alex for good.

Fran met Caldecott about a month after he first came over. His smooth charm and sophistication won her over immediately.

C.C. had to admit the man was charming, and after that first encounter when she and Niles had teamed up to teach him a lesson with a Tony and some bad whipped cream, he behaved impeccably. Still, she felt fiercely protective when an unsuspecting Fran sat in the living room chatting with him. She stood in the hall listening to their conversation.

"You know, I don't know what went on between you and Miss Babcock, but I just don't see how she can not like you! You're a scream!" Fran laughed after he related a terrific joke involving a priest, a rabbi, and a Barbra Streisand concert.

"Well, when we were in school together we dated a bit, and it ended badly. I fear she still resents it, after all this time."

"Wow, can that woman hold a grudge. Still, she's tryin' to be a pro about this, I gotta give her that. I'd never be able to be that calm if one of my ex boyfriends wanted to invest in one of Max's shows."

"Oh, you'd be the same sweet, angelic creature that you are. But you wouldn't have to worry. Anyone can see that you're happy in your marriage and about to give birth to -- what was it? A boy and a girl?"

"Yeah," she said happily.

"Well, what about C.C.? Is she happy? I had rather hoped -- "

Fran's attention was caught. "What?"

"Well, that she might give me another chance."

Fran shook her head. "I don't think so. She's in love with Niles."

Alex rolled his eyes. "But he's the butler, for God's sake! What can she have in common with him?"

"Evidently enough that she goes around smiling and singing instead of snarling and complaining like usual. At least she did up until the last couple of weeks. I wonder what's wrong?"

Alex laughed. "I bet I can tell. She's a beautiful, accomplished woman dating someone who washes dishes for a living."

"Hey!" she said angrily. "Niles is my best friend."

"Sorry," he said hastily. "You must understand, I only want what's best for C.C."

"Niles is what's best for C.C.," Fran said firmly. "She loves him and he adores her."

Alex gave one long, lovelorn sigh. Then, they heard a slight cough behind them, and turned to see a glaring C.C. Babcock standing there with her arms folded across her chest.

C.C. turned to him. "Don't you have anything better to do than try to destroy my life again?" She turned and fled. Fran gave Alex a confused look. "Oh, well," she said lightly. "Niles probably needs help polishing his meat mallet." But her instincts told her there was more to it than that.

They laughed together, but he sent a long, speculative glance after the blonde. This time, she'd almost given the game away. He decided to have a friendly chat with her.

When Alex entered the office, Niles was alone in there dusting. When Niles saw who it was, he made an obvious display of setting down his feather duster, sliding a letter opener into his pocket as though it were a knife into a sheath, and taking up his appointed task again.

Alex said smoothly, "Come on, Niles, no need to resent me. It's obvious how much she loves you, even if I did have her first. Though come to think of it, there were probably a lot of men between you and me, so it's really a moot point."

Niles was sick of keeping quiet because of C.C.'s continual pleas. He knew that it was a stupid idea no matter how much this man was worth. "I know exactly what you did to her, you bastard. And I'm not fooled. You haven't changed a bit. And just so you know, your rotting carcass would be in pieces in a shallow grave right now if Miss Babcock hadn't begged me to control myself for the sake of her new show."

Alex raised an eyebrow, amused. "Big words from a man armed with a little feather duster."

Niles retorted, "Trust me, C.C. gives my feather duster and everything else I have to offer rave reviews. Which is more than she can say for you. Damn, it must hurt that you're so inadequate that a butler won the love of a woman you had to force."

Alex flushed. "Am I going to have to suffer for that my whole life? I did one thing wrong when I was seventeen and I'm now forty-two and still being punished for it."

Niles was relentless, not buying a word of Alex's BS. "And I spend my nights making it up to that beautiful woman for everything you did to her."

"Well, aren't you just the man." After that sorry excuse for a comeback, Alex began to pace.

Eventually Maxwell and C.C. came in. The three sat down while Niles wandered out to the terrace to dust and sweep. Eventually, Maxwell poked his head out. "Niles, could we have some tea?"

"Certainly, sir. With or without cyanide?"

Maxwell stepped out onto the terrace with Niles, lowering his voice. "Listen, old man, I've had just about enough of your sarcasm. Now you tell me what it is you hate so much about him. Is it true that he and Miss Babcock were lovers once?"

"I'd hardly call it that," Niles replied sarcastically. Just then, they heard a click and whirled around.

The terrace doors were shut and locked.

"He's the man who raped her when she was fourteen," Niles said coldly.

C.C. didn't even notice as Alex crossed the room and locked the door to the office as well, until he was standing right in front of her as she sat on the sofa.

"C.C., I feel we should talk. I don't think you've ever really gotten over what happened twenty years ago. You know, people are actually starting to wonder what could be the matter when I get only hostility from a woman who's known for stepping over dying relatives for a pile of cash."

C.C. raised one eyebrow. "I haven't said a word. I gave you the chance you asked for, and in return, expected you to keep out of my way." She still didn't realize she was locked in, until she looked up and saw Max and Niles knocking on the terrace doors. "What on earth have those two morons -- " She had risen, but Alex grabbed her arm. "Let me go."

"Not until I have your promise to be very, very nice to me so I don't pull out of the show at the last minute," he replied dangerously, green eyes flashing at her.

"Is pulling out your specialty?" she asked angrily, twisting her arm free.

"Very cute. How about dinner after work? I'm sure your butler can spare you for an evening."

"How about you go straight to hell?"

He grabbed her by both arms. "C.C., I'm going to need you to be a little more cooperative."

"Like hell."

"Is the butler really that good a lay?"

C.C. refused to listen to him talk about Niles that way. Instead, she said coldly, "How could you ever imagine I would let you touch me again?"

"Because if I pull out, others will get worried and start pulling out, your show will go down the tubes, and you'll lose millions."

"Whereas if you don't get your goddamn hands off of me, you'll lose your privates. Niles already promised me that when we kill you, I get them for a play toy."

Alex gave her a hard shove, and she tumbled back on the sofa. "Why not now?"

Max worked frantically at the lock with his penknife. "I can't pick the lock!" he groaned.

"Here, let me try." Niles worked at the lock, until he heard Maxwell shout, "Oh, my God! Is he insane?"

Niles looked up and saw C.C. fall back. He stepped back and thrust his shoulder hard against the door. It shuddered and splintered. He and Maxwell lunged at the same time and windowpanes shattered as the terrace doors fell inward, but it was too late --

For Alex Caldecott.

He came at her again, just as he had so long ago, those same strong hands, those same glaring green eyes. But he was dealing with a very different C.C. Babcock.

C.C. rolled onto her side and kicked out sharply. She connected with his stomach, and he staggered back with a sharp gasp. She stood and snapped another kick at his face as he bent double. His jaw snapped back and he crumpled to the ground just as Niles and Maxwell shot in and grabbed him. Max held him while Niles delivered one sharp blow to his jaw that knocked him out cold.

C.C.'s anger drained out of her as she looked down on the fallen man. Without that protective shield of rage, she was able to feel all her terror, and it overwhelmed her. Just as Niles turned to embrace her, she fell limp into his arms.

When she awoke, it was to find that she was lying on the sofa and Niles was bathing her forehead with a cool cloth.

"Is he dead?" she whispered.

"No, baby."

"Then lemme up, my job ain't finished here."

C.C. sat up dizzily, then fell forward into his arms again, digging in with her nails when she almost lost her balance. He sat down beside her and she sank against him until her head cleared.

"You hit him for me," she said wonderingly.

"Of course. Just because I've scrubbed a toilet or two in my day, doesn't mean I can't handle a fight. And he hurt my baby."

C.C.'s shoulders began to shake. Twenty years of tears poured out of her, twenty years of fighting her own battles, of lying awake by herself when she had a nightmare, of searching for something, anything that would prove that the world wasn't the hostile place it seemed.

Granted it had made her strong, a survivor, a bitch when necessary and sometimes when it wasn't necessary. But now she was more than that. She was someone's baby, too.

"I've never been anyone's baby, even when I was a baby."

"I guess any woman who's survived nearly twenty years of seeing me every day can survive anything, but that doesn't mean I don't want to protect you from everyone else. But darling, it was you who took him down. I was just giving that pretty face of his a few character lines."

"Is that what you call those wires he's going to have?" joked C.C.

"No, I call it your birthday present. Come on, the police will be here soon."

Her nails dug into his arm and she looked up at him in terror.

"You must," he said sternly.

"Don't leave me."

"I won't -- unless of course, you get fat again."

"Lucky my standards are lower than yours, toilet tuchus."

"Well, you are the tramp who molested me in Wal-Mart."

By the time they reached the living room, where Fran stood beating Alex Caldecott with Niles' favorite spatula, C.C. felt she could face anything.

"Oh, please, they coulda saved the Titanic by pluggin' the leaks with your -- " she stopped and smirked. "Well, that's my business."

Niles grinned with smug masculine pride. "Actually it's my business, but you're welcome to handle it for me."

"Oh, God," moaned Alex Caldecott. "Just kill me now." Niles and C.C. placed their hands on a candlestick at the same time. "Or not!"

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