Distrustful Domestic

by

IvanaBgood
(IvanaBgood@aol.com)

*I would like to thank the big Macher of  Nannyisms - Laura - for her help with a Nanny tidbit! :o)

"Good morning!" Fran greets her family, arms raised up, a sunny smile on her face.

"Good morning darling! How did you sleep?"

She bends down and gives her husband a kiss before taking her seat.

"As well as can be expected with two munchkins inside my tummy who refuse to find the yellow brick road."

"Sweetheart, you are not late. Dr. Reynolds did say that not all women deliver on their exact due date."

"Well, Dr. Reynolds has aluminum foil for brains. If she tells me the babies are due on a certain day, they shoulda come out on that day!" She smacks the bottom of her hand against the palm of her other for emphasis. "Just because my people wandered the desert for 40 years, doesn't mean these children of yours have to hang around longer than they need to."

Patting her hand gently with his. "I think a good hot breakfast is just what you need…Niles!"

No answer and the swinging door to the kitchen remains swingless.

"NILES!"

A faint giggle is heard from within. Fran raises her eyebrow at Max, "That sounds like Miss Babcock."

"He's coming!"

"Yes, it's her alright." Max replies.

Placing her hand to her waist, as she crooks her elbow, "And how do you know that?!"

"Uh…well…because," he struggles for an answer, red in the face, until he sees Fran's teasing smile. "Blast!"

"I wonder what's taking him so long. Niles is never late with breakfast." Gracie wonders.

"Maybe he's waiting for his soufflé to finish rising." Fran replies, tongue in cheek.

"Why don't you go see if you can hurry him along. I have an appointment I must make in an hour." Max peers at his watch.

"I don't know…from my experience, any sudden movements tend to deflate…soufflés sooner than you want them to."

At the sight of his knitted brows. "Okay, I'm going, I'm going."

Just then Niles comes in carrying a covered tray. "I'm sorry I'm late, I was…"

"Popping your tart?" Fran interjects, smiling widely.

"Uh…yeah. Here's breakfast." Setting the tray down, he tiredly lifts up the cover.

"Cereal?" Brighton picks up the mini-boxes of breakfast.

"I really felt like having Belgian waffles this morning, Niles. With whip cream on top."
Maggie says forlornly.

The kitchen door swings open at that moment as CC saunters in gaily, wiping something creamy white from the corner of her lips.

"It looks like Miss Babcock beat you to it Maggie," Fran says again, clearly enjoying Niles' discomfiture.

"Beat her to what?" the usually well groomed business woman asks, as she tucks in her blouse.

"Whip cream on top," Niles replies, as a corner of his smile pops up and a devilish glint is passed.

CC giggles. At the sight of the Sheffield family giving her curious stares, she clears her throat to stifle it. "I'll be in the office Maxwell." As she walks by, a Cool Whip lid is stuck to her tuchus.

All eyes then turn to Niles.

"Umm…I'll get the milk." He quickly strides away.

Maxwell shakes his head as he reaches for the Lucky Charms, passing the box of Rice Krispies to his son.

As Fran wrinkles her nose at the box of Trix cereal, taking instead the box of Frosted Flakes. "Remind me to sterilize the kitchen counter top later willya?" she tells her husband. "I have a feeling things are going to start getting very interesting around here."
 

Admiring the arrangement of flowers that she set down on the side-table, Fran goes to sit on her husband's lap. The deep creak of the chair from the added weight, makes her frown. "So Niles, you never told me how your visit to England was."

He steps back from the terrace doors, admiring the shine he just put on the glass. "It was very nice. I enjoyed seeing my family again, but I had to come back sooner than expected."

"How come?"

Vaguely, "Oh, I just had a feeling that I left something turned on at home."

"You did." CC uses her two fingers and walks them up his arm.

Max looks up from his paperwork distastefully. "This is going to take some getting use to. Can't you two keep your hands off of each other for more than two seconds?"

"Oh, leave them alone. I think it's sweet." His wife watches the couple coo at each other. "Meanwhile, I am starting to miss my favorite toppings on my ice cream."

"Well, I'm off to the theater," CC picks up her purse sadly, not wanting to go. The strap slips from her fingers and her purse falls down, its contents spilling on the ground.

"Here, let me help you with that Sugar Lips," Niles bends down quickly.

CC's lips curve up, "Thank you Baby Cakes."

"Sugar Lips? Baby Cakes? Uch, you're right. I think I liked it better when they called each other Witch and Rubber Maid." Fran adjusts herself on Max's lap as he tries to hide his pain.

"What's this?" Niles picks up an envelope.

"Oh nothing…probably just a bill," CC replies nervously, she attempts to snatch it from his grasp.

"Well, the return address doesn't say Bill. It says Colin." His eyes glare back at her.

Fran and Max exchange looks of shock as they lean forward as one waiting for the scene to unfold.

Her fingers shake as she picks up a tube of lipstick and slips it inside her purse. "Oh that. Umm…I forgot all about it."

"Why are you receiving letters from Colon?" Niles asks resentfully.

"I never said I was getting letters from him."

"So this is the only one?"

"Well…no." CC watches his face tighten.

"How many more are there?" He grinds out.

"Maybe two…three," as his look gets angrier, "five."

"Five! When were you going to tell me that you were corresponding with your old fling?"

Fran whispers to Max, "Can you distract them while I throw a bag of popcorn in the microwave. I don't want to miss a thing."

"I haven't written back to him at all. I've been throwing them away!" CC starts getting angry right back at his accusatory tone.

"Is that so?" Niles waves the envelope above his head as he glowers at her. "Then why is this not in the rubbish where it belongs?"

"Because I got that the same day I went to pick you up at the airport. I haven't even opened it."

"That reminds me Sweetie. The privacy glass in one of the limos needs to be replaced." Fran interjects.

"Yes, I noticed that. It looks like some sort of heel plunged through it." Maxwell answers back.

"Or maybe it was the claw of an old bird," Niles mutters peevishly under his breath.

"I heard that!" CC sends him a scorching look.

"I'm not surprised. Not only do elephants have great memories they also have fantastic hearing." Without a backward glance, Niles storms out.

Throwing her purse strap violently on her shoulder, CC soon follows him out the door.

"What an amazing turn of events," Fran says in wonder.

"Amazing is not the word I would use right now," he replies dryly.

"What's wrong with you?"

"She is not going to be able to do any work until this thing with Niles is taken care of and we have an important backers meeting coming up."

"Stop thinking about yourself. Meanwhile we do have this room to ourselves for awhile." She wraps her arms around his neck and adjusts her position on his lap. Noticing his grimace, "What?"

"Nothing. Why don't we go sit on the couch, there's more room over there."

"Don't try to snow me Maxwell Sheffield. I'm getting too heavy to sit on your lap aren't I?"

Soothingly, "Of course not darling," as he grimaces again, feeling another twinge of pain in his nether region.

"I saw that," Fran tries to slide off his lap, needing a slight push from her husband. "I'm so huge now, if I were a snowball, I could probably crush New York City." She pouts.

"Now Fran, don't be silly," giving her a squeeze.

She smiles up at him.

"A suburb maybe, but not the whole city."

She smacks him on his arm.

He chuckles. "You know I still find you devastatingly sexy. I proved that last night."

"Yeah, but only twice." She mopes.

Tightening his hold around his wife, "Well, the slate is clean today. What say we go for a new record?" He nuzzles her cheek with his.

Pretending to think about it for a few seconds, Fran's eyes twinkle, "Go lock the door."
 

"This is delicious, Niles!" Brighton enthuses. "I really missed your cooking when you were gone." He shoves in another mouthful.

"You all just don't appreciate my gourmet cooking," Fran sniffs.

"I loved your pita pockets Fran," Gracie says supportively.

"Aww, thank you Sweetie," she smiles at her daughter.

"Yeah, you nuke a mean frozen TV dinner Fran," Brighton teases.

"Niles, where's my food?" CC asks angrily, still upset at the way he acted earlier.

"I served it to you already."

"No you did not! My plate is empty!"

"I served it in the customary place. Outside in your doggie bowl. You better hurry, you mustn't keep Chester waiting."

As CC sneers at Niles, he deadpans, "You can re-enact that scene from 'Lady and the Tramp' - and we both know which part you get."

Throwing her napkin on the table, "That's it, I am out of here! I can get better food at Kentucky Fried Chicken!"

"That's right. I've had my family reunion, now go and have yours!"

She turns back at him, her eyes like daggers, then she quickly storms off. The slamming of the front door sounding like a thunder clap.

"Niles, what has gotten into you?" Fran's eyes widen at the look of jealous rage in his face.

"Nothing."

"Don't you have anything to say?"

"There goes poultry in motion." He quickly spins around and enters the kitchen.
 

Sinking onto his bed in frustration. Niles fights the urge to call CC. Knowing she wouldn't be home yet anyway, he wonders if he should leave a message on her machine. Maybe it was all innocent, the way she said. The envelope was still sealed. His eyes dart to the hated object that seemed to goad him from his dresser. Picking it up, he pauses for a moment before he tears it open.

Niles flings the letter aside, not wanting to read anymore. His mind in a turmoil.
I thought she said he broke up with her?

Then his mind began picturing the two of them together and another jealous rage overtakes him. The glow of his computer monitor attracts his attention and he finds himself gravitating over and clicking on the AOL icon.

Brighton had just upgraded to another and had generously given his other one to Niles.

"I see you have a new computer Master Brighton."

"Yup, with this baby I can speed my way through the internet highway." He pats his monitor affectionately.

"How about giving me your old one?"

"Give? Ha! No way! Slap some Ben Franklins on this palm and you have a deal."

"Well, I don't have enough Bens…"

"Too bad!"

"…but I do have a collection of Bunnies. There's Bambi, Tiffany, Lola, Mildred…"

"Mildred?! Oh yeah, she was stacked out to here! Hey - wait a second…I've been looking for those magazines!"

Grinning wickedly, "Finder's Keepers."

"Oh man! Okay, it's a deal."

"Throw in some computer lessons and I'll kick in a video that somehow fell out from behind your bookcase and into my laundry basket."

Brighton's eyes widen innocently, "Video, what video?"

"My mistake. I'll return 'Little Oral Annie' to Blockbuster first thing tomorrow."

Sighing deeply. "Congratulations. You're enrolled in B's A-Z Intro to Computers."

Smirking, "And you have just received your first lesson in Niles' Finagle for Fun and Profit."

Still feeling apprehensive about the gadget, Niles waits for the customary toots and whistles as AOL starts up. Taking the mouse tentatively in hand, he begins to surf around. Hmm…a website about Butlers…

S & M is not just a magazine anymore! Sweeping & Mopping's new website is a plethora of ideas:

*No need to slave over a hot stove! International House of Pancakes gives a 15% discount to Butlers. ( a cute pineapple smile per pancake at request )

*How to fake a limp to get out of laborious work!

* Tone Tech 2000 Intercom System, with the voice activated hypersensitive speakers! A must have for every household. It will practically read your employer's mind!!
 

Niles smiles as he moves on. What's this?

Amazon.com sells audio books! New! 'Embrace Your Sensuality - You can get women!'

Mumbling to himself, "Moving on…"

CC throws her purse across the room. "That man can be so aggravating! How many times do I have to tell him those letters meant nothing?! If he wasn't so stubborn we could be trying out one of the dressing rooms at Macy's right now." Sighing, "I guess I could get some work done, nothing better to do." Picking up her laptop, she begins to start typing and loses interest almost as quickly. I suppose I can check my email. Immediately she hears the unmistakable sound of an IM.

Franala: Hi Miss Babcock! Are ya still mad at Niles?

BrasyBlond: Oh god, is this who I think it is?!

Franala: Eh heh. Max told me what your screen name was and I just added you to my
    buddy list.

BrasyBlond: I'll be sure to thank him next time I see him.

Franala: <g> Please don't be mad at Niles. Why don't you give him another chance?

BrasyBlond: Nanny Fine - will you please stay out of my love life?

Franala: OMG! Did you just confess that you love Niles?!

BrasyBlond: No, I did not!

Franala: Aw, c'mon Miss Babcock. You can tell me. I'm really great with advice.

BrasyBlond: I'll keep that in mind…next time I need to write to Dear Yenta.

Franala: Fine. Be that way. I know for a fact that he cares for you deeply.

BrasyBlond: If he did, he wouldn't have spoken to me that way.

Franala: He was just jealous. Give the guy a break!

BrasyBlond: My pleasure. His arm or his leg?

Franala: Miss Babcock you know that you two belong together. He just thought you were fooling around on him.

BrasyBlond: Well, I wasn't. That troll doesn't trust me!

Franala: Give him another chance. Pleeeease Miss Babcock!

BrasyBlond: Oh God, don't start whining! At least I don't have to listen to it -
                     it's a good thing I didn't buy that audio thingy for my comp.

Franala: I'll let that remark go. Besides you know you can trust Niles.

BrasyBlond: How do I know that?!

Franala: Why dontcha test him?

BrasyBlond: What? How?

Franala: IM him right now and flirt with him. Does he know your sn?

BrasyBlond: No. And he doesn't have a computer.

Franala: He does now. B gave him his old one just the other day.

BrasyBlond: Hmmm…that idea is very intriguing. But you have to swear
          not to tell him it's me!

Franala: Cross my heart. I have faith in Niles.

BrasyBlond: Alright. How are we going to do this?

Franala: Leave it to me! BRB

BrasyBlond: ok
 

Franala: Hi Niles! How do ya like your new comp?

FancyPants: I'm muddling through. I thought you would be busy with
         Mr. Sheffield by now.

Franala: He's recuperating from making the Guinness Book of World Records.

FancyPants: What category?

Franala: Uhh…pogo stick.

FancyPants: Don't you think it's odd that we're typing a conversation to
                    each other when we're only a few feet away?

Franala: Yeah. Don't ya just love progress?!  :o)  Since you and Miss
              Babcock are no more, ya wanna meet a friend of mine?

FancyPants: We didn't break up. I just don't want to talk to her is all.

Franala: You say tomato, I say tomoto. C'mon Niles, she's just your type.

FancyPants: I don't know…

Franala: What will it hurt? You're just talking online.

FancyPants: Umm…okay.

Franala: Great! I told her all about you already. Let me give you her sn.

FancyPants: I'm just going to IM her out of the blue?!

Franala: Yeah. It's not like at a bar. Ya don't have to buy her a drink
              first. If you don't want to talk anymore, just say 'hasta la
              vista baby' and click out.

FancyPants: Alright. What's her sn?

Franala: BrasyBlond. Good luck!

Niles heaves a big sigh. His eyes land on a Polaroid of him and CC that Miss Grace
took of them when he came home from the airport. Their eyes smiling widely, arms
around each other's waist. Happy in the knowledge that they didn't have to hide their
feelings anymore for each other from everyone. As he stands to get the picture, he hears
a rustle under his foot. Colin's letter. Sitting back down, he turns towards the computer
in grim determination.

FancyPants: Hi, my name is Niles! Our mutual friend Fran told me about you.

CC laughs at his screen name Remembering the exact day when she referred to his
clothes in that way. The memory of wanting to scratch Lynn Redgrave's eyes out also
came clearly to mind. Ah…so he took the bait. Her fingers wiggle over the keyboard as
she tries to think of a reply.

BrasyBlond: Hi, I love your name! Any resemblance to Frasier's brother?

FancyPants: <G> I have more hair and a better build.

BrasyBlond: Oh really? Mmmm…just my type.

FancyPants: :o)  And what's your name?

BrasyBlond: Helen Joy

FancyPants: I know someone who can live up to that name. But I'm sure
                    you're quite the opposite.

So that's what he says about me behind my back!

BrasyBlond: Would you like to adjourn to our own private chat room? ;o)

BrasyBlond: Niles? Are you still there?

FancyPants: Yes. I'm sorry Helen. This doesn't feel right.

BrasyBlond: What's wrong?

FancyPants: ::Sigh:: I'm typing to you, but my thoughts are on a different
                    Brassy Blond - I'm sorry.  :o(

CC smiles happily as she reads his reply.

BrasyBlond: That's okay. If you're so taken with this other woman, why are
                     you alone and talking to me?

FancyPants: Because I'm a bull-headed SOB.

BrasyBlond: Oh, the typical male.  ;o)

FancyPants: LOL  I guess so. Thank you for the chat! I think I best make amends
                    with my lady fair.

BrasyBlond: If that's how you usually talk, she is one lucky lady.

FancyPants: I think I'm the one who hit the jackpot.

BrasyBlond: Okay, you passed the test!

FancyPants: Huh? What are you talking about Helen?

BrasyBlond: Well, thoughts of us denting the walls of a certain aluminum shed
                      in Home Depot come to mind.

FancyPants: Babcock?!!

BrasyBlond: Hi Baby Cakes!  ;o)

FancyPants: You tricked me!

BrasyBlond: LOLOL  and you deserved it!

FancyPants: You're right I did. I'm sorry. :o(

BrasyBlond: Okay Lover, you're forgiven. I know you were just bitten by the green-
                     eyed monster.

FancyPants: And right now I want to be bitten by a blue-eyed one.  :o)

BrasyBlond: Sounds good to me. Why don't you come over?

FancyPants: Alright…but I was wondering…

BrasyBlond: Yes?

FancyPants: What does cybering mean?

BrasyBlond: ROFLMAO  You have much to learn my young Jedi Knight!

FancyPants: So teach me already!

BrasyBlond: Okay…I'm licking my lips as I lay on my satin sheets in a red lace teddy thinking…

FancyPants: What?! What?!

BrasyBlond: That this would be so much better if you were on it with me!!

FancyPants: ::Chuckling:: I'm on my way!

BrasyBlond: And Niles…

FancyPants: Hmm?

BrasyBlond: Bring some chocolate syrup, I'm all out. Wait, forget that. We need to
                     cut down.

FancyPants: On the sex?

BrasyBlond: No the calories - I've gained 5 lbs since we started to…

FancyPants: Do the Hokey Pokey?

BrasyBlond: LOL…yes. And you definitely know how to shake it all about!
                     You know - forget about my place how about we meet at
                     Wal-Mart again? ;o)

FancyPants: ….tent display?

BrasyBlond: :o)

FancyPants: You are sooo bad!

BrasyBlond: And you love it!

FancyPants: Indeed I do. Okay, last one there is a rotten egg!
 

I really doubt this is needed, but just in case someone isn't familiar with the computer lingo I used:

<g> :  grin
OMG : Oh My God
IM : Instant Message
BRB : Be Right Back
sn : Screen Name
lol : laughing out loud
ROFLMAO : Rolling On Floor Laughing My Ass Off

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