This story is my little tribute to the late Chester Drescher!
Many thanks to Nel and Sabine for the ideas and assistance rendered.
by
Maxie
(maxie_s@hotmail.com)
Lying beside his mistress on the sofa, Chester rolled his eyes. As she did every night, CC was giving him a detailed account of everything that had transpired between her and the butler that day. Quite frankly, he was fed up with it!
"Don’t do that with your eyes Chester!" CC admonished absently before resuming her tale, "Anyway, so I said to him ‘Niles, why don’t you get a haircut? You’re starting to look like a chrysanthemum.’ And he said, ‘Am I? Well I will! I don’t want to be attracting wasps like you!’ Quick as a flash, I shot back, ‘If I be waspish, best beware my sting.’ Get it Chester? Shakespeare?"
Actually Chester didn’t get it, but, not wanting to seem uncultured, he cocked his head to one side and stared back at her, hoping he looked intelligent.
"I really thought I had him with that one, but nooo! He replies, ‘My remedy then, is to pluck it out.’ Can you believe it? The man can recite Shakespeare!" She lowered her voice confidentially, "I tell you Chester, if I didn’t hate him so much, I could really fall for that man!"
‘Hah!’ thought Chester to himself, ‘As if you haven’t already!’ He’d been watching the pair of them for years now, bickering back and forth. Even he could see how they really felt about each other! He wished they would sort it out. Then, not only would he not have to listen to CC go on about him all the time but, more importantly, Niles could live with them and he’d have unlimited access to the little meaty treats Niles kept surreptitiously giving him. ‘Like that sirloin off-cut he threw me the other day…Mmm…yummy!’ Chester gave his head a shake and forced himself to focus again on what CC was saying to him.
"Of course, then Maxwell got mad and ordered Niles to leave the room. He can be such a wet blanket sometimes!"
At this point Chester’s attention was totally stolen by the neighbour’s cat that jumped up on the window ledge outside. He jumped up, ran to the window and started yapping boldly at the smirking feline, safe in the knowledge that the glass protected him from any flying claws.
CC watched her pet going crazy, noting with amusement the way the cat toyed with him by patting her paw against the glass. She admired the cat’s style! Heaving a lonely sigh, she stood up and headed to her kitchen to prepare herself an evening meal.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Later that night, after CC had gone to bed, Chester lay in his basket feeling a little guilty about the way he had abandoned her so quickly to go and fight with the cat. His mistress had needed him and he’d let her down! It was hard being solely responsible for her emotional well-being and happiness. If only he could share the burden. But who with? Niles was the obvious choice but he wasn’t about to admit his feelings. He probably wasn’t even aware of them yet! Chester found himself wishing there was something he could do to speed the process up a bit. But what? He was only a dog after all! ‘But an intelligent dog’, his inner voice argued. Surely there was some way he could help?
Seeking inspiration, he got up and padded his way into CC’s bedroom. She was asleep but was moving a lot, her head going from side to side as she moaned Niles’ name. ‘She did that a lot’ he realised. He didn’t understand why but he’d lost count of how many times he had been jerked awake by her screaming out ‘Niles! Oh Niiiles!!’
Something had to be done. He went back to his bed and started doing some serious thinking.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
By the time her alarm clock went off the following morning, Chester had the basics of a plan worked out. Knowing that it was her habit to snooze for half an hour after her alarm buzzed, he snuck into her bedroom and found his way into her closet. There he started jumping up and down, using his teeth to pull all of her work clothes from their hangers. Once they all lay on the floor, he began rolling around on them, making sure he liberally covered them with copious amounts of dog fur. Satisfied with his efforts, he crept back to his bed and waited for her to make the discovery.
"Chesterrrrr!!!" wailed CC, thirty minutes later. She came into the living room holding some of the clothes. "Look at what you’ve done! BAD DOG!!"
He looked at her and did his best to appear contrite.
"Just great! Now what am I going to wear?" she grumbled as she went back into her bedroom. She re-appeared twenty minutes later wearing a pair of jeans and a snug-fitting, light-blue knit-shirt.
Chester was pleased. The first part of his plan had worked perfectly. He watched as she gathered up her briefcase and car keys, getting ready to leave for work. It wasn’t until she walked to the front door that he realised she wasn’t intending to take him with her. This wouldn’t do! He had to be at the house to implement the next part of his scheme. He started howling.
"Quiet Chester! You’re not coming!"
He howled louder.
CC looked at her dog in bewilderment. ‘What on earth has gotten into him today?’ Realising he wasn’t going to stop it, she sighed in frustration and scooped him up. "Okay, you can come. You don’t deserve it but I can’t leave you here to make that noise all day!"
Chester licked her face in gratitude.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
They arrived at the house just as the kids were leaving for school.
"Hello, hello." sing-songed CC, by way of greeting.
Nobody answered her. They seldom did.
"Oh Nanny Fine, can you take care of Chester for a while?" she asked, dumping him unceremoniously into her arms. "He’s acting very oddly today."
"Oddly? In what way?" Fran asked suspiciously, holding him out from her a wee way.
"I don’t know…odd…weird...strange! It’s kind of hard to explain but if he doesn’t stop it soon, the mutt isn’t going to be around much longer!" said CC, throwing Chester a threatening look.
Chester knew he should have been offended by her tone but he wasn’t. For some reason, she always talked about him like this whenever they were around others but when it was just the two of them she doted on him. She was a strange woman, he had to admit that!
"Aww, poor Chester!" crooned Fran, now making a big fuss over the excited dog.
"I need some coffee," announced CC heading to the kitchen door.
Normally Chester would have been only too happy to stay with Fran, he liked her, she was fun to hang out with but today he needed to be able to observe Niles and CC together. He wriggled out of Fran’s arms and jumped down so that he could follow his mistress.
"Chester! For heaven’s sake!" growled CC as she nearly tripped over him while going through the kitchen door.
Much to Chester’s satisfaction, Niles’ eyes widened perceptibly as he saw CC in her jeans. "Slumming it today are we, Babcock?"
"Coffee Niles…Now!" demanded CC, not bothering to respond.
He waved nonchalantly in the direction of the coffee pot, indicating that she should get it herself.
She threw him an exasperated look but nevertheless retrieved a cup and poured her own coffee.
"So, what’s with the whole ‘Barbie goes hiking’ look?" inquired Niles again.
"This damned dog of mine decided to have a party in my closet! There’s dog hair over all of my clothes." explained CC.
Niles looked at Chester with approval and made a high-five motion in his direction.
Chester thumped his tail against the floor. He did like Niles. He was so funny!
CC’s resulting scowl encompassed the pair of them. "I’m going to work" she declared, picking up her cup and walking towards the door. She stopped and looked back over her shoulder. "Niles, will you be able to take Chester for a walk in a couple of hours?"
"Uh…no can do! I’ve got a lot of work to get done here."
"Fine! I’ll do it myself!" she snapped as she stalked out of the kitchen.
Niles looked down at Chester and then bent down and picked him up. "That owner of yours has a mighty foul temper but I do have to admit Buddy,…she has the greatest set of legs I’ve ever seen!"
Man and dog looked at each other, then both turned and looked at the recently exited door. While Niles tried to work out why his heartbeat had gone haywire at the sight of her in those jeans, Chester tried to figure out what was so great about her legs. She only had two of them after all!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Niles had a very productive morning and was able to finish his work a lot sooner than he thought he would. Realising that he did actually have enough time to take Chester for a walk, he went and fetched the spare leash they kept there for him. He had just finished clipping it on him when CC entered the kitchen.
"Oh! You are taking him. I was just coming to do that too!"
Niles looked at her and once more found himself thinking how appealing she was to him when she dressed like that. "Er…you could come with us if you like?" he offered, scarcely able to believe that he had just voluntarily asked her to spend time with him.
CC was obviously surprised by the invitation. "Umm...Sure, why not? It’s a nice day and I could do with the exercise. A girl has to keep in shape you know!"
"Like your shape could get any better!" mumbled Niles, eying her denim-clad posterior as she exited the back door.
"What was that Niles?"
"Nothing!" He closed the door.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
They walked the four blocks to the nearest park, Chester happily leading the way. Things were working out even better than he’d hoped. Okay, so they were bantering away behind him, at least they were together!
"I didn’t think your kind came out in the daytime?" Niles was saying.
"What would you know about people and the daytime? Aren’t you usually shackled to the kitchen sink? What did you do to free yourself…gnaw your foot off?"
"You must be used to seeing men gnaw their limbs off! Isn’t that the only way men have to escape from you?"
"At least I date! You know, the land mass has divided into seven continents since you last had a date."
Not liking the way the conversation was going, Chester decided to take action. Checking behind him to make sure they weren’t looking, he suddenly moved to his right, he ran around them encircling their ankles with his leash.
"Oomph!" The wind was knocked out of them as both came crashing down, Niles landing on top. They lay there, struggling to catch their breaths. Suddenly they each became aware of the other’s body, pressed intimately against them. Their eyes locked and held as if they were suspended in time.
Chester watched them with great interest. His plan had succeeded brilliantly! Unfortunately at that very moment he spied a squirrel scampering around the bottom of the tree in front of him. He didn’t understand why but he knew he had to get that squirrel! Just what he was going to do with it…he didn’t know! But that wasn’t the point! Completely forgetting that his leash was wrapped around Niles and CC’s feet, he charged off after it.
"Ouch!" they both exclaimed simultaneously as the leash suddenly tightened around them. Chester had also run out of leash and was now choking due to the pull against his throat. Niles moved and managed to sit up. He tugged on the leash, hauling Chester back towards them and began untangling their feet, the moment between him and CC having been totally broken.
They stood up and brushed themselves off, checking for injuries. CC took a ginger step forward and winced realising she’d twisted an ankle. Niles quickly moved around to her injured side and wrapped his arm around her waist for support. Practically in silence, they started making their way back to the house.
An abashed Chester trailed meekly behind them. He’d ruined everything! He didn’t know what but he knew that something good had been about to happen back there. Now they weren’t even talking to each other. What on earth had possessed him to go after that stupid squirrel?
Chester might have felt a bit better about things had he known the reason for the silence was that Niles and CC were both preoccupied with trying to make sense of the sudden feelings they were experiencing every time they touched each other.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Finally they made it back to the house.
"Get inside Chester!" CC ordered a little gruffly, as Niles opened the door. "You’re a very bad dog!"
Agreeing with her totally, although for a slightly different reason, Chester slunk into the kitchen and went and sat morosely in the corner.
Niles helped CC hobble to a chair. "I’ll get some ice." He was half-way to the freezer when he turned around and looked at her with a smirk. "Or perhaps we could just rip your heart out of your chest and we could use that?"
"Ha-ha. Very funny Niles. Now just get me some damn ice!"
Still chuckling Niles returned with the ice pack, he pulled out one of the other chairs and propped her foot up on it. "Wriggle your toes" he instructed after peeling off her shoe and sock. She did. "Hmm, nothing broken. I think it’s more bruised than anything else." he declared, laying the ice pack on it.
Despite the coldness of the ice, CC became acutely aware of a warm, tingling sensation where his hands were touching her. Becoming flustered, she snatched the ice pack off her ankle and stood up. "I think I’ll do this in the office so I can get some paper work done."
A little disappointed, Niles watched her limp towards the door. Unbidden, an idea suddenly popped into his head. "Hey Babcock! Why don’t I cook you dinner tonight?"
She turned to him and raised a questioning eyebrow.
"Er...well...I was thinking that with your sore foot and all, that you wouldn’t want to have to fix your own dinner when you get home." he explained hastily. "It would just be the two of us though, everybody else is eating out tonight."
Even though the pain in her foot was rapidly subsiding, CC found, much to her surprise, that she very much wanted to have dinner with him. "Umm, yeah, I guess it might be a little awkward to make my own. Dinner would be great Niles...thanks!"
"Great." echoed Niles with a smile as she left the room.
From the corner of the room Chester felt considerably better about things. It hadn’t been a total disaster after all!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Later that afternoon, Niles hummed as he finished preparing the meal. He’d decided on a sweet and sour chicken dish that he would serve on a bed of rice. He transferred the ready chicken into a serving dish, covered it and decided to go and have a shower and get ready before cooking the rice.
A few minutes after he’d gone up-stairs the aroma wafted across the room and reached Chester. Following the scent, he found himself standing at the bench directly beneath the dish. Glancing around to make sure nobody was watching, he lithely jumped up onto the bench. Wanting to take a peek at the food, he nudged the lid aside with his nose. ‘Mmm…this looks good!’ He sniffed at it. ‘Mmm…smells good too!… Perhaps I should have a little taste? Just to make sure.’ He quickly stole another look around the room and then took a mouthful. ‘Ooh! Hot, hot, hot!’ He dropped it quickly. He panted over it for a moment before trying again. It was delicious! He had some more. And some more! Before he knew it he’d eaten the lot! ‘What have I done?’ he panicked, looking at the empty dish. Realising he would be in big trouble if anyone caught him, he quickly nudged the lid back into place and jumped down. He ran back to his corner and settled himself back down. Maybe no one would notice?
A now dapperly dressed Niles came back down and continued with his meal preparations blissfully unaware of any problems. He’d just finished draining the perfectly cooked rice when CC entered the kitchen. "Impeccable timing!" he declared with satisfaction. "Take a seat and I’ll serve it now."
CC eyed the professionally set table, surprised by the effort he’d gone to. She sat down and draped her serviette across her lap as Niles spooned the rice onto their plates. He took the empty rice dish, placed it in the sink and carried the chicken dish over to the table. "And now for the piece de la resistance!" he announced, placing it on the table. "Ta-daa!" he lifted off the lid with great flourish.
They both looked at the empty dish in astonishment.
"You set me up!" accused CC, angrily.
"No. I didn’t. I swear!" refuted Niles desperately. "There was chicken in this dish, I know there was!"
"Cut the act Niles!" raged CC. "You were being nice to me…I should have guessed you were up to something!"
"But I wasn’t!" he pleaded.
"I don’t believe you! Come on Chester...we’re leaving!" She tossed the serviette aside and stood up.
"Miss Babcock, please…" tried Niles again.
She just glared at him as she opened the door.
Chester seized his chance and quietly slunk out of the room. Luckily for him, the two humans were too pre-occupied with each other to notice his bulging stomach as he waddled out of the door.
CC left, slamming the door behind her. Niles stared at the empty dish wondering what the hell had gone wrong. He glanced suspiciously at the phone, picked it up and quickly dialled a number. "Sylvia? It’s Niles…did you just come by the house before?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Later that night Chester lay in his basket feeling bloated and guilty. So far things weren’t going well! After they’d arrived home CC had continued to rant and rave, then had gone and poured herself a drink saying that she could always rely on her best friend…alcohol! This had concerned Chester, he didn’t want alcohol to be her best friend, he wanted Niles to be.
Getting up, he firstly went to ensure that his mistress was sound asleep, then went and leapt on the sofa so he could study the line of bottles on the cabinet shelf. These bottles were the enemy and had to be eliminated! Using the sofa as a springboard, he agilely jumped onto the shelf. He began pushing the bottles off the shelf, feeling tremendous satisfaction when he heard them smashing on the floor. Once the shelf was emptied he jumped down taking care to avoid the broken glass.
He looked at the pooling brown liquid and suddenly wondered what it was that CC found so appealing about it. Cautiously approaching it, he put his nose to it only to reel back when the strong odour hit its mark. ‘It must taste better than it smells!’ his mind reasoned. He lapped at it, choking when it burned the back of his throat. Without really understanding why, he kept lapping at it. ‘Hey! The more you have…the better it gets!’ he discovered.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CC entered the living room the next morning to find Chester lying still in the middle of the broken bottles. Alarmed, she swiftly went over and began shaking him. "Chester?"
The shaking was annoying Chester immensely. And why was his mistress talking so loudly? Reluctantly he opened his eyes only to find twin images of his mistress wavering in front of them. ‘Oh! That’s why…there’s two of her!’ he thought groggily as his eyes drifted shut again. ‘Wait a minute! That’s not right?!’ He prised his eyes open once more. Although the room was very bright and seemed to be spinning a little, this time he saw only one of her. But only for a second, as he stared at her, she appeared to divide again into two. ‘CCCC?!’ It was all too much for him to try and make sense of. He slammed his eyes closed again, vowing never to open them.
"Chester you’re drunk!!" CC cried in astonishment.
‘Wrong!’ corrected Chester mentally. ‘I was drunk! Now I’m just sick!’ He winced as CC scooped him up and dumped him in his basket. His head felt like it was about to shatter.
"Stay there, Chester!" CC began cleaning up the mess, randomly throwing the broken bottles into her bin, oblivious to the pain each clatter caused her pet.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Niles had just finished putting away the last of the breakfast dishes when CC entered the kitchen, Chester resting drowsily in her arms. "How’s the foot?" he inquired politely.
Still miffed at him for the dinner debacle the previous evening, CC didn’t reply. Instead she tucked Chester under one arm as she poured herself a coffee.
Searching for another neutral topic, Niles noted that she once again wore casual clothes. "Still haven’t managed to get your laundry done huh?" When she didn’t answer he sighed in frustration. "Look, I’m sorry about the dinner. I don’t know what happened but I swear to you that I cooked and I put it in that serving dish!"
She didn’t know if she believed him or not but found herself wanting to give him the benefit of the doubt. "The foot’s fine and I’m planning to do laundry tomorrow."
Niles shot her a grateful look, then motioned toward the seedy looking Chester in her arms. "What’s with you and the canine? I’ve never seen the two of you so….together!"
"Here! You take him" she said, transferring Chester over to him. "He’s in disgrace!"
"Oh no…what’s he done now?"
"He got drunk last night!"
"You’re kidding?" Niles laughed, looking at the dog. "She’s finally driven you to drink eh Chester?" He reached down and patted his head.
The hand that landed on his head felt like a sledgehammer to Chester. He snarled at Niles, relieved when the hand was hastily removed.
"I see he’s picked up your charming personality as well as your drinking habits!" observed Niles.
"I don’t know what’s gotten into him the last few days! Just find him a blanket and put him in the corner to sleep it off!"
"You mean…like I do with you?" quipped Niles, settling Chester on the floor.
Chester immediately lay on the floor and covered his face with his paws, not wanting to hear the on-coming sparring match.
"You are such a liar!" retorted CC. "You’ve never had to do that to me!"
"Oh yeah? What about the time…"
Definitely not in the mood to listen to them, Chester summoned what energy he could, stood up and began yapping furiously at them.
Niles broke off his intended comment. "Hey, I think we’re upsetting the alcoholic furball!"
"Looks like it" agreed CC, looking at her dog who had now collapsed in an exhausted heap. "I guess I should go and start doing some work anyway." She bent down to give him a farewell pat, hurriedly snatching her hand back when Chester snarled once more.
"He’s all yours!" she said to Niles as she left the room.
Niles glanced at the sleeping dog and shook his head in bemusement before going to fetch him a blanket.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chester woke in the early hours the following morning to find himself back in CC’s apartment in his basket. He immediately realised two things. Firstly, he was feeling better, and secondly, a whole day had passed and he’d done nothing to help CC and Niles! He couldn’t believe he’d slept for 24 hours. ‘Well almost’ he amended, vaguely recalling that he’d gotten up at one stage and gone in search of Fran, hoping for some sympathy. However, he had quickly returned, never having had appreciated before just how annoying her voice really was.
Eager to let CC know that he was feeling okay now, Chester trotted into her bedroom and jumped up on the bed beside her. He licked her face.
"Niiles! That tickles!" giggled CC breathlessly in her sleep.
Chester raised his head and looked at her. ‘She’s doing it again! Niles really needs to know she does this!’ He glanced at the phone on her bedside cabinet and had an idea. He knew which button to press to make it ring at the Sheffield’s. He also knew that by pushing another button she could talk without having to hold the receiver. He’d seen her do it thousands of times! As CC moaned again, Chester held his breath, prayed nothing would go wrong and pushed his paw onto the buttons.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The sudden shrilling of the phone downstairs jerked Niles from a deep sleep. Muttering and cursing, he got up and went down to the kitchen to answer it. "Hello?"
"Nilessssssss…oh, Niiiles!!" CC’s husky tones replied.
Confused, Niles pulled the receiver away from his ear and stared at it for a moment before listening again.
"Oh Niles, you are so baaaadd!!!" came a throaty chuckle he’d recognise anywhere.
"Babcock! What are you doing?" he demanded.
"Don’t you know Niles?" giggled CC, responding to the question she’d heard in her sleep.
Irritated at her silly behaviour, Niles slammed the phone down and started heading back upstairs, only to have to phone ring again immediately. "What!?" he yelled, answering it again.
"Oh yeah…that’s the spot Niles….right there!" This declaration was followed by a gasp.
Incensed, Niles dropped the phone leaving it dangling against the wall. He raced back to his room and began throwing on some clothes. He was going to confront the crazy woman!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Niles hammered on CC’s door twenty minutes later. "Babcock…open up!"
The door was opened by a very sleepy looking CC. "What are you doing here Niles? It’s 2 o’clock in the morning!"
He was momentarily distracted by the brief glimpse he caught of her skimpy nightie before she tied the belt of her robe. He forced himself to focus. "Me!?" he said incredulously, as he stepped inside, almost falling over Chester who was dancing ecstatically around his feet. "You’re the one who has been ringing me with obscene phone-calls!"
"What the hell are you talking about? I’ve been asleep for hours!"
"Oh yeah? Well we’ll just see about that!" said Niles as he strode his way into her bedroom.
"Niles, you have finally lost it! You’ve gone stark raving bonkers!" declared CC, scurrying after him.
"A-ha!" cried Niles triumphantly, spying the answering machine beside her bed. "All the proof I need!" He picked up the receiver and listened intently.
CC took a moment to subtly pinch herself. No, she wasn’t still dreaming. Niles was standing here in her bedroom, his hair tousled, looking exactly the same way it had in her dream after she’d run her fingers through it.
"There! Listen to that!"
Still not fully understanding what was going on, CC put the receiver up to her ear. She heard what sounded like metallic rustling closely followed by what seemed to be a chair being scraped along the floor. "What’s that?" she asked.
"That is Fran. She’s in the kitchen, having a mid-night snack…ice-cream I would say." Niles hung up the phone.
"So?"
"So…about thirty minutes ago, a call was made to the Sheffield’s kitchen…on this phone!"
"Well, not by me! I was asleep. There must be something wrong with my phone! Unless…." She trailed off, her eyes drifting suspiciously towards Chester.
Niles followed the direction of her eyes. "Oh don’t be ridiculous! He’s a dog! He can’t make phone-calls! The phone’s obviously faulty." Suddenly another thought occurred to him. "Hey! How come I heard you talking then? What were you doing…sleep talking?"
The flush sweeping over her face gave him his answer.
"You were!" he chortled gleefully. "You were sleeping talking! And you were dreaming about me! About us! Oh, we must have been having quite a fine time in it too!"
"It wasn’t like that!" lied CC. "Er…what did I say?"
"Nilesssssss…oh, Niiiles. That’s the spot Niles…right there!" Niles mimicked her rapturous cries.
"Well...See there you go! I was dreaming about you…mopping my floors! There was a really dirty spot!"
"A dirty something at least!" snorted Niles at her obvious fabrication. Deciding not to push the issue, he began unplugging the phone.
"Now what are you doing?"
"I’m going to fix this thing!" he said, carrying it into the living room.
"Now? Niles it’s the middle of the night!"
"So? We’re both awake aren’t we?" Niles replied, placing the phone on her dining table. "Get me a screw-driver and put some coffee on!"
"You’re awfully bossy at this hour of the morning" grumbled CC as she went in search of a screw-driver. She found one, came back in the room and handed it to him. "Are you sure you know what you’re doing?"
"Of course I am!" he said with typical male confidence. "These babies are my specialty!"
CC threw him a sceptical look and went to put some coffee on. She came back a few minutes later carrying two steaming mugs. She placed one beside Niles and took the seat opposite him.
Not wanting to miss out on any of the action, Chester ran up and put his front paws on the side of her chair, whining. CC heaved a resigned sigh and picked him up, settling him on her lap.
"The pooch is very clingy these days!" commented Niles as he began unscrewing the outer casing.
CC groaned. "Tell me about it! The pet psychiatrist says that he’s suffering from separation anxiety."
Niles looked up from his task. "Your dog’s in therapy?!" he cried in astonishment. "How does that work? Chester lies on the couch, his paws waving in the air as he talks about his unhappy puppy-hood and how his mother was a bitch?"
CC laughed at the mental image. "No, I just rang her and described some of his recent behaviours. She said he’s ‘acting out’ about something."
"Did she say what?"
"Umm...no, not really" fudged CC, not really wanting to discuss the therapist’s theories.
"Well, it sounds like a whole bunch of baloney to me!" declared Niles, applying himself again to the task in front of him.
CC fell silent as she watched him systematically dismantle her expensive phone.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Forty-five minutes later Niles threw down the screw-driver in frustration. "I give up! It’s not going to go back together!"
CC looked at the widely spread components in dismay. "Niiiles!"
"I’m sorry" he shrugged. "It’s a different model than the ones I’m used to! I’ll buy you another one…er…How much are they?"
She told him.
"For that!" he exclaimed. "Funny…it doesn’t seem to be gold-plated!" He tapped the screw-driver against the plastic coating.
"Well, it is state-of-the-art!" replied CC defensively.
"But of course!" muttered Niles, knowing he couldn’t possibly afford to buy one. "Umm…perhaps I could work it off in kind?" he asked a little sheepishly. "Clean your apartment or something?"
CC looked at him in consideration. "Well, I do need an escort to my cousin’s wedding this week-end…"
Niles groaned. "A Babcock gathering?" He held his hand up to her. "Here, break my fingers instead!"
"Nope!" smiled CC. "Having to mingle with my relatives is a much more fitting punishment!"
Niles shook his head. "I don’t understand why you haven’t used some of that considerable loot of yours and invested it in a blow-up escort for these events?"
"Why would I do that when I have a real, live dummy available whenever I need him?" she countered, reaching out to slap him lightly a couple of times on the cheek. Seemingly of its own volition, her hand lingered against his face. His blue eyes found hers and several heartbeats passed. An odd churning sensation started in her stomach. She snatched her hand away as if she’d suddenly been burnt. "Yeah…well, the wedding’s on Saturday night, pick me up at seven."
"Seven o’clock," Niles agreed, standing up and walking to the front door. "That gives me two days to psyche myself up for it. Shall I tell Max you’re going to be in late tomorrow?"
"Late?"
"Yeah, you said you’ll be doing laundry tomorrow, remember?"
"Yes. I remember, I’m just surprised that you do!"
Niles shrugged and then remembered something he’d meant to ask her earlier, "How come you’re doing your own laundry anyway? I thought you had a maid for that kind of thing."
"I did! Angelica, but she quit! It seems she doesn’t like Chester’s recent behaviour any more than I do! Anyway, you don’t have to worry about saying anything to Maxwell, I’ve already told him that I won’t be in tomorrow."
"Not at all?" said Niles, surprised how disappointed he felt at the prospect of not seeing her.
She shook her head.
"Oh! Okay, I’ll see you Saturday then! Uhh…Good night."
"Good night Niles."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chester had listened to this final exchange with growing dismay. Stay at home and do laundry? Not see Niles for a whole day? There was no way he was just going to stand by and let that happen! He had an idea.
As soon as Niles left CC went back to bed. Chester waited until he was sure she’d fallen asleep, her first murmured utterance of Niles’ name telling him the coast was clear. Moving stealthily so as not to make any noise he made his way to the laundry room. His plan was ingenious yet simple. He was going to disable her washing machine!
He looked up at the huge white appliance and wondered how he was going to go about it? It wasn’t like he could wield a heavy wrench and smash it up! He nosed around the bottom of it, stopping when he came across the power cord. ‘Ah! The weakest link!’ He set to work, deciding that it would be easiest to just chew through it. It was hard work but the fear of discovery spurred him on. Heaven knows he’d been in enough trouble during the last few days.
Everything was going fine until the neighbour’s cat leapt up on the ledge outside. Chester saw her but determinedly ignored her. He’d learnt his lesson, he wasn’t going to get distracted again!
The cat, however, had different ideas! Realising that Chester was trying his best to avoid attention, she seized upon the opportunity to make mischief and began yowling.
‘Shut up!’ growled Chester warningly, the partially chewed cord still clenched between his teeth.
The cat smirked and yowled louder.
Helplessly realising that discovery was now imminent, Chester doubled his efforts on the cord. He managed to bite through the last of it just as CC came bursting through the door.
"What’s going on in here?!"
The cat quickly jumped down, leaving Chester to face the music.
"CHESTER!! Now look at what you’ve done!"
He hung his head, hoping she’d buy his contrition.
"You are really pushing your luck Dog!" CC declared as she scooped him up. She placed him back in his basket and once more headed back to bed, leaving him with the firm instruction to "Stay there!"
Chester curled around and made himself comfortable. Despite having been caught, he’d achieved his objective. CC wasn’t going to be doing laundry the next day! ‘All in all, not a bad night’s work!’ he decided with satisfaction, before nodding off to sleep.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Niles was surprised the next morning when CC arrived unexpectedly, Chester following closely in her wake. His surprise became even greater when she unceremoniously thrust a large bag of washing at him.
"Do this will you Niles!"
"What!" he protested, staggering slightly under its weight. "I thought you’d taken the day off to do it yourself?"
"I was going to…until my darling canine friend over there decided to eat the cord on my washing machine!"
"Oh! But…why do I have to do it? There are such things as laundrettes you know!"
"Laundrettes, I have to pay for…you, I don’t! Besides, you owe me for wrecking my phone."
"I thought that was why I’m taking you to this wedding?"
"The wedding’s only partial payment! Do that…" CC motioned towards the bag in his arms, "…and I’ll consider your debt paid in full! Oh…and look after Chester for me too will you?" She flounced out of the room.
"Do my laundry…look after Chester!" mimicked Niles. "What does she think I am? A servant?" Realising what he’d just said, his shoulders drooped. "Oh."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Four hours later Niles, closely supervised by Chester, had almost finished folding the now clean laundry when CC re-entered the kitchen.
Her pleasure at the sight of her well-ironed business suits hanging on their hangers quickly turned to dismay when she noticed the basket from which he had just removed a pair of her lacy underwear. "Niles why are your things mixed in with mine?"
He shrugged. "It seemed a little pointless to do two separate loads when I only needed to do one. Is there a problem?"
"Yes, there’s a problem! I don’t like the thought of my...smalls…being in with yours!"
"Your smalls?!" Niles chuckled, amused by her euphemism. He held one of the lacy scraps out for closer inspection. "Although, they are rather skimpy. I had no idea you wore such things under those prim and proper suits of yours!"
Blushing, CC snatched the panties from his hands. "There’s no reason why you should have!" she mumbled, stuffing them into the bag of folded clothing. "Hurry up and finish will you. I have to get going!"
Niles retrieved another item from the basket and began folding it. "By the way…" he said conversationally, "just so you know, there’s nothing small about my…smalls!"
"So, you’re finally admitting that you have a big butt?"
"No!" he scowled at her. "Actually, I was referring to the front portion!"
"Oh! Er…well, be that as it may…I still don’t like the idea of your underwear rubbing against mine." She bit her lip, mentally fighting the image that statement provoked.
Niles looked at her with an arched eyebrow.
Now becoming totally flustered, CC grabbed Chester, snatched up her clothing and bolted for the door. "I have to go!"
Niles watched her hasty retreat with interest. "Oh, you’re very welcome Miss Babcock!" he sarcastically called out after her.
With a shake of his head, he turned his attention back to the job at hand. Lifting a pair of the underwear she’d forgotten in her haste from the basket, he again whistled his appreciation.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Back at her apartment, CC dumped the laundry on her bed and began the task of putting it away. She was putting a camisole in her drawer when she spied a pair of briefs clinging to it…Niles’ briefs! Giving into an absurd impulse, she covetously darted a glance around the room to ensure no one was watching before peeling the two items apart. She held the leopard-skin briefs out in front of her and noted with great interest that they were indeed rather large fitting at the front. Unable to shake the feeling she was doing something wrong, she hurriedly folded them up and placed them on top of her dresser, making a mental note to return them as soon as possible.
She quickly finished putting away the rest and left her bedroom, wondering what she was going to do to fill in the long evening that lay ahead.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CC and Chester had just settled down on the sofa preparing to watch a video when there was a knock at the door. Dog and owner looked at one another in surprise.
"You expecting anyone Chester?" quipped CC, as she stood up.
He rolled his eyes at her silliness as they both went to open the door.
Pure delight shot through the pair of them at the sight of Niles standing on the other side of it. Chester however was the only one to show it as he literally threw himself at Niles’ feet.
"Get out of it dog!" muttered Niles as he stepped inside.
Chester moved back and sat down, staring at him in total adoration.
"Niles what are you doing here?" CC asked. "The wedding’s not until tomorrow!"
Niles stretched out his arms and glanced down at the white t-shirt and jeans he wore. "Do I look like I’m dressed for a wedding?" he asked rhetorically. "I’ve come to fix your washing machine!" He held up a coil of cord, hoping she wouldn’t challenge the lameness of his excuse.
CC threw back her head and laughed. "After what you did to my phone last night, what makes you think I’d be dumb enough to let you anywhere near my washing machine?"
He was prepared for this argument. "Okay, I admit I may have been a little out of my depth with the phone but this is just replacing a cord. Simple! A ten minute job...tops!"
"Alright," she sighed, waving him in the appliance’s direction, "but if you screw it up…you’ll be sorry!"
Ignoring her pointing arm, he instead went and stood behind her sofa. "What are you watching?"
"I was just about to start watching an old movie on video."
"Really? I love old movies! Which one?"
"Woman Of The Year."
"Spencer Tracy and Katharine Hepburn? They’re my favourites! I love the way they fight and bicker all the time! Tell you what…give me ten minutes to fix this cord and then I’ll come and watch it with you." He glanced at the bowl of popcorn she’d placed where she’d previously been sitting. "Oh...and you’d better make some more popcorn, that’s not going to be enough!"
"There you go being bossy again!" complained CC walking into the kitchen, the smile on her face totally belying her words.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Twenty minutes later, Niles came back into the living room. "All done!" he announced with satisfaction.
"You haven’t rigged it up so it will electrocute me, have you?"
"Now, why didn’t I think of that?" he grinned, ambling towards the sofa. He paused and surveyed the seating arrangements. CC lay sprawled across the sofa while Chester occupied the chair. "Move it Chester!"
‘No way!’ decided Chester, unwilling to let this opportunity pass. He didn’t budge an inch.
With a half-shrug Niles turned back towards the sofa, he lifted CC’s lower legs and sat down, settling her feet across his lap.
CC looked at him, questioning the intimacy of this arrangement.
"The best view!" he explained, answering her unasked query. He took the popcorn from her and placed it on the sofa in front of her thighs so they could both reach it. "Press play!" he instructed.
Grumbling under her breath again about his bossiness, CC nevertheless did as he’d ordered.
They settled into a companionable silence as they watched the movie, both of them laughing in unison at the quips exchanged by the on-screen duelling couple.
CC felt a flash of awareness each time he reached for another handful of popcorn, his arm brushing across her hip.
Occasionally Niles would toss a kernel in the direction of the ever-waiting Chester.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"What a great movie!" declared CC, as the closing credits began to roll. She picked up the remote and pushed the rewind button.
"Yeah, it was." agreed Niles thoughtfully.
Waiting for him to elaborate, CC pushed herself up into a sitting position, drawing her knees towards her chest.
"I was just thinking" he continued as he turned himself sideways to look at her, his arm resting along the back of the sofa, "about what they were arguing about…you know…her being a career woman and not being at home waiting for him. I don’t feel that way! I wouldn’t mind at all if my wife had a career."
CC was silent for a moment, thinking about what he’d said. "Well, that movie was fifty-odd years ago! Things were different then but actually I can see his point of view, sometimes I think it would be nice to come home to find someone waiting for you…eager to hear about your day."
Niles saw her wistful expression and incorrectly guessed that she was thinking about Max. "You’re not going to get him you know!"
"Huh…who?" she replied absently.
"Your boss...our boss!"
"Maxwell!?" CC shook her head. "I don’t want him anymore…Nanny Fine can have him!"
Niles snorted in disbelief. "Since when?"
She shrugged. "I’m not so sure I ever did…not really!"
"Oh." Niles said, realising she was serious. "So, what...who do you want?"
She looked at him for a moment, considering her answer. "I’m not sure." she finally replied. "Still thinking about it!"
Unsure of how to proceed from there, Niles glanced at the now black television screen. "Those old movies are great but they’re not very realistic are they?"
"What do you mean?"
"The way the couples hate each other, spend all their time fighting and then fall in love right at the very end. That almost never happens in real life!"
CC laughed. "Yeah, I know! I mean…look at us! We fight like that but we’re not going to get together…" She paused. "…are we?"
Now it was Niles’ turn to look at her for a moment. "Probably not."
Their gazes met.
Then they were slowly moving towards each other. CC’s eyes drifted shut and her lips parted in anticipation of his kiss.
Unfortunately, at that precise moment, Chester began choking on a piece of popcorn. The couple sprung apart and looked over at the dog.
"Are you okay Chester?" asked Niles, reaching out and tapping him a couple of times on his ribs.
Chester cleared the kernel from his throat and began chewing it again, cursing his rotten timing.
Niles looked at CC. "I guess I should go!"
Disappointed, CC nodded. "Yeah, we didn’t get much sleep last night and this wedding will probably run late tomorrow."
Dismayed, Chester watched as they got to their feet and walked to the front door.
"I’ll see you tomorrow then." Niles said as CC opened the door for him.
She started to nod but then suddenly remembered something. "Oh wait! I have to give you something!"
He waited patiently at the door while she raced into her bedroom.
"Here! These are yours…er…they were in with mine." She thrust his briefs into his hand.
Enjoying her discomfort, Niles grinned evilly, slowly unfolded them and held them up to his eyes. They now had a noticeable hole in them. "Hmm…had a little nibble did we?"
"No!! They weren’t like that when I folded them up!"
Two pairs of accusing eyes were suddenly cast in Chester’s direction. He wagged his tail and stared innocently back at them.
Niles stuffed the briefs into his pocket. "Well…" he stalled, reluctant to leave.
"Well…" CC repeated in a similar tone.
Suddenly he took a step towards her. "To hell with it!" he muttered, pulling her unresistingly into his arms.
Chester watched them kiss with great interest. He knew this was a good thing but, in all honesty, he didn’t understand this human attraction for kissing. Now, if they were sniffing each other’s butts…THAT he could understand!
The kiss came to an end and Niles stepped back. "I’ll see you tomorrow night…seven o’clock."
"Seven o’clock." echoed CC dazedly before she closed the door.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Much to Chester’s disappointment, they didn’t go to visit Niles at all the next day. However his spirits perked up once CC started getting ready for the wedding. He followed her around the apartment closely, wondering if she’d dress him in that little tuxedo Fran made for him. He hoped so! It was fun to dress up!
Alas! Seven o’clock drew nearer and CC still hadn’t dressed him. She obviously wasn’t going to, he realised. Shame! Even just the bow tie would have been nice!
Finally, a couple of minutes early, Niles knocked on the door.
"Wow! You scrub up okay for a butler!" declared CC, having opened the door to find him resplendently decked out in a tux.
"You don’t look so bad yourself!" he replied, his eyes sweeping appreciatively over her. "Ready to go?"
"Yes. Let me just get my purse."
‘And me!’ whined Chester, running over to her and placing his front paws on her thigh.
"No Chester! You’re not coming!" CC said firmly. "You stay home and guard the house for me."
Completely shattered, Chester sat dolefully and watched them leave. This was a disaster! How were they going to manage without him? He could picture it now! They were going to spend the whole time fighting and then Niles would bring her home and just leave because he had a horrible time! He had to think of a way to make Niles stay for a little while once they got back!
The idea he decided upon was going to land him in trouble, he knew that, but he was willing to make the sacrifice! Starting in the bedroom he opened CC’s top drawer with his teeth and began emptying its contents onto the floor. When he was done he moved on to the next one.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The sound of laughter and the jingling of door keys heralded their return a little after two o’clock in the morning.
Chester lay curled up in his basket, feigning sleep in an attempt to delay the inevitable.
The door opened and CC turned to face Niles. "Thanks for taking me. I had a great time!"
"Yeah, it was fun!" agreed Niles. He was about to invite himself in when he spied the chaos behind her. "Oh My God! CC you’ve been burgled!"
"What!?" She quickly whirled around. Scanning the room, she immediately noted the presence of her television, video and stereo. "Not burgled!" she groaned, "Chester!"
"Chester did all this! But he’s so small!" To Niles’ eyes the room looked like it had been professionally done over by the mafia.
"He may be small but he’s very angry apparently!"
Niles walked into the middle of the room, pulling open his bow tie and slipping off his jacket. "Okay, so where do we start?" he asked, rolling up his sleeves.
CC threw him a grateful look. "Perhaps you could make a start out here while I tackle the bedroom?"
Niles nodded his agreement and for the next hour the two of them worked in silence to straighten up her apartment.
"I think we’re done!" announced Niles as he placed the final cushion back on the sofa. "So did that pet therapist have any idea as to what might be behind this behaviour of Chester’s?"
"She said this could be expected when I got a new boyfriend." CC replied without thinking.
Niles’ head snapped up. "Is that what I am? Your new boyfriend?"
"I don’t know…are you?"
"Do you want me to be?"
CC rolled her eyes at the absurdity of their conversation. "Gee, why don’t I write it down on a note…I’ll pass it to Fran tomorrow and she’ll give it to Max who’ll give it to you!"
"Yeah, I guess we do suddenly sound like 14 year olds!" grinned Niles. He stood up and walked over to her. "For the record, I would very much like to be your boyfriend!"
"Good!" CC smiled as she slipped her arms around his neck, "Because I would very much like to be your girlfriend!"
"Wanna go steady?" twinkled Niles mischievously.
CC laughed. "There’s a lot of ways I’d like to go with you…but I don’t think steady is one of them!"
"Oh, I don’t know..." argued Niles, "there’s a lot to be said for going steady!"
CC opened her mouth to respond but Niles cut her off by covering it with his own.
From his basket, Chester opened one eye and watched as they did some more of that strange kissing thing.
CC broke away and held her hand out to Niles in a silent invitation. With a happy smile he placed his hand in hers and they started walking towards her bedroom.
Totally forgetting about his pretence of sleep, Chester eagerly leapt out of his basket and began trotting after them. He was highly affronted when they firmly closed the door on his face. He pressed an ear to the door, listening intently. For several minutes he heard only indiscernible whispering, suddenly he heard CC scream. ‘Oh no, they must be fighting again!’ he rationalised. This scream was followed by a crashing noise, the sound of her bedside lamp hitting the floor he realised, having once been responsible for that sound before. Becoming greatly concerned about what was going on in that room, he started scratching at the door and whining.
"SHUT-UP CHESTER!" bellowed two voices in unison.
‘Well, excuse me for caring!’ He began walking away, peevishly having decided they could look after themselves. However, he heard CC scream again and realised that no matter what, his job was to protect his mistress. He approached the door and again pressed his ear against it. This time he could hear the bedsprings squeaking! They were jumping on the bed! Very odd! Then it was Niles who screamed!
Not knowing what to make of it all, he determined to stand guard so as to be on hand for his mistress if she should need him. However, after a few minutes of standing guard, Chester realised he could be on guard just as well when lying down. A few minutes after that came the realisation that even if his eyes were closed, he was still…on guard!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chester was woken by the bedroom door suddenly flying open, Niles and CC both nearly tripping over him as they came out.
"God! Don’t tell me he stayed there all night!" exclaimed Niles.
"Oh probably!...the stupid dog!" replied CC as she headed to the kitchen.
While CC put the coffee on, Niles took a seat at the dining table. Chester noticed that his buttons were missing from his shirt. He also saw that he had faint scratch marks running down his chest.
As she brought the coffee, Chester looked at CC reproachfully. Surely it hadn’t been necessary to physically attack the man? However, his dismay at her behaviour quickly paled to insignificance when he saw the obvious bite marks on the side of her neck. Niles had BITTEN her??!!!
Thoroughly outraged on his mistress’ behalf, Chester crouched low and began snarling at Niles.
"Hey…Chester…Buddy…it’s me…Niles!" Niles said, bending down to extend a hand for him to sniff.
Seizing his chance, Chester lunged and sunk his teeth into Niles’ thumb. ‘There! Let’s see how you like being bitten…Buddy!’
"Owww!" cried Niles, hastily snatching his hand away. "Babcock, your dog is getting loonier by the day!"
"He’s just feeling a little insecure because of your presence…we have to shower him with affection and make him feel included!" CC recited what the therapist had told her.
"I’ll shower him with something alright!" muttered Niles.
"Niles, don’t be mean!"
"But he bit my hand!" declared Niles, in an aggrieved tone.
"Aww…Poor Baby!" coo-ed CC, coming around to sit on his lap. "Let me see!"
Protruding his bottom lip out in a childish looking pout, Niles held his hand up for her inspection.
CC squinted hard, barely able to see the almost imperceptible indentation. "Ooo…that looks nasty! Want me to kiss it better?"
Still pouting, Niles nodded yes.
She brushed her lips across the pad of his thumb. "There! Better?"
He shook his head.
She leant over and pecked his cheek. "How ‘bout now?"
Still looking sad, Niles again slowly shook his head.
"Oh no! It must be worse than I thought!" She ran her fingertip along the outline of his lips. "What if I kissed there? Would that help?"
Eagerly and rapidly Niles nodded his head.
She pressed her mouth to his and they chuckled at their silliness for a moment before Niles wrapped his arms around her and deepened the kiss.
Chester watched this by-play with bemusement. He supposed if CC could forgive Niles for biting her then he could too! She seemed happy and that had been what he’d wanted when he’d started this campaign.
Quickly becoming bored by the embracing couple, Chester wandered into the living room just in time to see a paw darting under the crack in the door. The neighbour’s cat! He ran over and put his nose to the crack. ‘Ouch! She got me!’ He put his nose back down again. ‘Ouch! She did again!!’ He put his nose back down again….
Suddenly, the sound of giggling and scampering feet distracted him. He quickly turned around but was only in time to see the bedroom door closing again. ‘Oh no! Not more fighting!’
He abandoned his battle with the cat, figuring he was probably losing anyway, and padded across to the bedroom door. No! They weren’t fighting they were jumping on the bed again! Funny...sometimes he liked doing that! Even though he knew he wasn’t supposed to, he would sometimes do it when CC was at work! He wondered if the three of them could do it together one day?
Deciding there wasn’t any real need for him to be guarding the door at that moment, he strolled into the kitchen in search of food. He stopped and stared at their clothing all over the floor with astonishment. ‘Odd! Very, very odd! It’s not THAT warm in here today!’
Thinking that he may as well make himself useful, he started pulling the clothing together into one heap. However, he lost interest when he made another strange discovery. For some reason, the taste of Niles’ sock enticed him! Without knowing why he was doing it, he took the sock to his basket and started chewing it up. ‘Maybe I do need to see that therapist?’ he mused as he tore off another chunk!
The End
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