The plane. Two weeks later. The Sheffields, Niles and CC all look bedraggled. Even in First Class it is a long flight to Sydney from New York. The head flight attendant comes over the intercom.
by
Debbie
(nute@scoastnet.com.au)
"She has style, she has flair… that's why she should come here!"
This is a story dedicated to all Nannyfans Down Under with apologies if we didn't visit your home town. (We didn't go to mine, either!) Many thanks to Elizabeth and Frank for all their encouragement and editorial assistance.
Part 1
Time: Early one morning, late in June.
| Scene 1 | Sheffield dining room. Niles is serving breakfast to Maggie, Brighton and Grace. Fran and Max have not yet arrived. |
| Fran | "Good morning, everybody." (She comes in and sits at her usual place. She is in one of her outrageous bathrobes. The children all greet her.) "Niles, Max will be down in just a minute. He's on the phone with a v-e-r-y important call." |
| Niles | "Good morning, Mrs. Sheffield. What can I get for you this morning? And I didn't hear the phone ring." |
| Fran | "No, Max made this phone call. And I'm not really hungry this morning. Just two Belgian waffles, some sausages, orange juice, a bagel and coffee will do." |
| Niles | (Smiling. He is used to these 'small' breakfasts.) "What's the matter? You're not ill, are you?" |
| Fran | "No, Niles. You know I only eat when I'm farklempt and how can I possibly be that when I'm married to the most wonderful man in the world and have three of the most lovely children," (she leans over and kisses Grace on the head) "and the world's greatest butler as one of my best friends." (Fran was feeling particularly effusive this morning!) |
| Niles | "Oh, do go on!" |
| Grace | "Who's Daddy talking on the phone to, Fran? Do you know?" |
| Fran | "I have no idea, Gracie. Do you know, Niles, or are you out of the loop again?" (Niles gives Fran a dirty look) Max enters |
| Max | "Good morning, Frannie." (He gives her a quick kiss then sits.) "Good morning, children, Niles." (Everyone answers good morning, etc.) |
| Niles | "Good morning, sir. And what can I get you this morning?" (He hands Max a cup of tea.) |
| Max | "How is everyone this morning? Just some orange juice and a muffin, thank you, Niles." |
| Brighton | "We're all fine, Dad. So, who was on the phone?" |
| Max glances at Fran. | |
| Fran | "Whaaat?" (guilty written all over her face) "I didn't say anything. I just said you were late because you were on the phone." |
| Max | (He smiled at Fran and patted her hand.) "I know, darling. You are really trying to curb your yenta tendencies." (to everyone) "Okay, everybody," (pause) "how does the idea of a trip to Australia sound?" |
| Everyone | "Australia! Wow! Yeah! Cool!" |
| Fran | (her usual excited self) "Australia… Australia…ooh…Olivia Newton John… Crocodile Dundee… that Dadda guy from 'Models, Inc'…Geoffrey Rush…" |
| Max | "Calm down, Fran. You'll hyperventilate if you keep going on like that!" |
| Maggie | "Why, Dad? What's happening in Australia?" |
| Max | "Well, I'll have you know that I've just been speaking to the chairman of the Sydney Theater Company. It seems they want me to produce 'The Widower' for a limited run at the Opera House Drama Theater. Since it's summer vacation, I thought you'd like to come with Fran and me while I set it up." |
| Grace | "Wow, Australia! I've always wanted to go there ever since I saw the movie, 'Babe' with Yetta." |
| Brighton | "Never mind 'Babe' – what about Elle Macpherson? She's one hot Australian babe. I'd love to meet her!" |
| Maggie | "In your dreams, Brighton. You'd have more luck with Babe, the pig." |
| Brighton | "Well, if you went out with Babe, the pig, it would be an improvement on your usual dates!" |
| Max | "Margaret, Brighton, that's enough. If you two are going to carry on like this I'll bloody well leave you home and then Niles wouldn't be able to come." |
| Niles | (startled) "Me? Me, sir? Oh, Mr. Sheffield, this would be a dream come true. I've always wanted to …" |
| Max | "Can it, old man. You're going because I want someone there with Fran and the children when CC and I are tied up with the production." (aside to Fran) "Not to mention keeping the apartment they are providing tidy." |
| Niles | "Miss Babcock! Oh, why do you have to take that blonde shlelmil along?" (Niles expression just went from pleasure to misery.) "She'll spoil everything." |
| Max | "Well, Niles, she is my partner and a lot of this trip was her doing. Besides, you know you and CC really don't hate each other – ever since Fran and I got married I think most of it is an act to cover up your real feelings for each other." (Niles scowls) |
| Brighton | "Yeah, Niles, remember how upset you were when she was sick?" |
| Maggie | "And at the wedding you danced with her all night – even after she caught the bouquet." |
| Fran | "Enough picking on Niles, already! So, honey, when do we go? And when can I tell Ma? She'll be so excited!" |
| Max | (cringing) "Now, Fran, remember this is a 'Sheffield' family trip. You can tell her we're going by all means but she is not bloody well invited! And neither is Val! As to when, we'll be leaving in about 2 weeks on the Saturday. We'll be flying to L.A. then catching a Qantas flight to Sydney, all First Class I may add." (now addressing Niles.) "Now Niles, I want you to help organise the children's packing. Remember, in Sydney it'll be a mild winter but when we go to the Great Barrier Reef it'll be tropical and we'll need our ski gear as well for our trip to the mountains." |
| Grace | "Oh, Daddy, the Great Barrier Reef, too. This all just sounds so wonderful. How long will we be there?" |
| Max | "I expect we'll be away for about 5 weeks. The play has a 2 week run but I can leave after the opening night. But don't worry, we'll be back in time for school" (moans from Grace and Brighton). |
| The scene closes with the family all excited, discussing the trip. |
| Scene 2 | The plane. Two weeks later. The Sheffields, Niles and CC all look bedraggled. Even in First Class it is a long flight to Sydney from New York. The head flight attendant comes over the intercom. | |
| Flight Attendant | "Ladies and gentlemen. The captain has started his decent into Sydney. We will be arriving at Kingsford Smith Airport in approximately 20 minutes. Please fasten your seat belts securely, making sure all luggage is stowed under the seat in front of you or in an overhead bin and place all seats and tray tables in a upright position. Local time in Sydney is 6 am, Monday. Local temperature is presently 6° C. or 43°F. but is expected to reach 16°C. or 61°F. Please adjust your watches and have all travel documents ready for departure. On behalf of the captain and the rest of the crew I hope all you have enjoyed your flight and thank you for flying Qantas. Enjoy your stay in Australia." |
| Views of Sydney are seen through the windows of the plane. The children are all excited. | |
| CC | "Enjoy! Well, I don't know about that. Anyway, nothing in Australia can be worse than spending 13 hours sitting next to the Tidy Bowl man." |
| Niles | "Oh, be quiet, dragon lady. I lost the toss – that's why you got me!" |
| Maggie | "Look, Gracie. There's the Opera House. Oh, isn't it just beautiful!" |
| Grace | "Oy, it certainly is a kholem of a city!" |
| Fran | (hearing Grace and looking at Max) "Listen to her already, will ya. She sounds more like Ma every day." |
| Max | (Horrified) "My God, don't even think that, Fran! Speaking of your Mother, Fran, I never did ask you but how did she handle the news that she wasn't invited?" |
| Fran | "Don't even ask about Ma! I had to listen to her for a half an hour while she gave me a lecture on a daughter's duty to her family before she calmed down. I kept mentioning that if we didn't have to entertain her we might have more time to make grandchildren. I just have to bring her home lots of souvenirs – mostly food. And Yetta wants a baby kangaroo to put in her pouch." (referring to the bag she always has around her waist) "I thought I'd get her a stuffed one – she probably wouldn't know the difference!" (resting her head on Max's shoulder) "Gosh, I'm tired, though. And what did they say it was – 6 am? Jet lag going to Paris and London was never like this. I don't know if I have the energy to shlep off the plane." |
| Max | "C'mon, darling. We're in Australia!!!" |
| Brighton | "Yeah, Fran. C'mon. Isn't it great that it's only morning and we've got the whole day ahead of us! Besides, I'm hungry." |
| Fran | (moaning) "Whaaat, you've just had 5 meals in the past 12 hours. Remember, B, we're here for 5 weeks not 5 days. We don't have to do everything today! |
| Scene 3 | Inside Kingsford Smith Airport at the luggage terminal. Max has just given Fran some bad news. |
| Fran | "What d'ya mean my luggage is missing? All 4 pieces? What am I going to do without my luggage? What am I going to wear? Oh, thank god I carried my makeup in my hand luggage!" |
| Grace | "Relax, Fran. You can share my clothes until we go shopping. Besides, I'm sure Sydney has a store like Loehmanns somewhere!" |
| Max | "Yes, don't worry darling. I'll take you shopping later to get a few things to tide you over." |
| Qantas Agent | "Don't worry, ma'am. Your luggage will be here tomorrow. We've already received a fax from Los Angeles that it is sitting in the luggage room there. Somehow it just didn't get put on the plane. It seems that someone labeled the luggage tags with 'Austria' but no Qantas flight goes to Austria from L.A." (Fran suddenly looks sheepish and guilty.) "Anyway, your luggage will be here by this time tomorrow morning. Besides, with the end of financial year sales you should get some great bargains at Grace Brothers or David Jones." |
| Fran | "Ooh, shopping! Okay, okay, I'll be fine!!!" |
| Scene 4 | In a limo traveling towards the city of Sydney. |
| Fran | "Ooh, ooh, watch out. Oh, Max – he's on the wrong side of the road. We're gonna crash!" |
| Max | "Relax, Frannie. Remember, it's like England. They drive on the left here, also." |
| Fran | (relieved but just for a moment) "Oh, thank goodness. But look, look – that car doesn't have a driver!" |
| Brighton | "I'll take this one, Dad. Fran, the driver sits on the right. Look, check out our driver." |
| CC | "Nanny Fine," (she still can't come to terms with the Mrs. Sheffield name) "try and develop a bit more class. We don't want the Australian population to think we're uncivilized louts." |
| Niles | "No – it's bad enough that we've already got you show them that!" (CC glares at him.) |
| Fran | "Sorry, Miss Babcock. I'll try to not mess up any of your plans or embarrass you again!" (She gives Max a smile while CC just frowns.) |
| Scene 5 | The rented apartment. It's a luxurious apartment on the 20th floor with spectacular views of Sydney Harbor, the mountains to the west and the ocean to the east. The Opera House and Circular Quay ferry terminals are almost straight down. |
| Maggie | "Oh, isn't this place just so-o-o cool!" |
| Grace | "It certainly is, Maggie. I think I'm going to love it here." |
| Brighton | "See how you feel in a few days. In case you haven't noticed, this place only has 4 bedrooms so you two will be sharing a room." (moans from Maggie and Grace) |
| Max | "That's enough, Brighton. Let's see how you will feel in a few days – you're sharing a room with Niles!" |
| Brighton | (his face falls) "Oh no, Dad. Please! Not Niles. He snores!" |
| Max | "Well, what else do you suggest – he share a room with Miss Babcock?" |
| Fran | "Now that should be an interesting proposition!" |
| Niles struggles into the room with the last of the luggage. | |
| Niles | "All in, sir. I've placed your things in the main bedroom, Miss Grace and Miss Margaret are in the pink room, Miss Babcock has taken the small green room already and Master Brighton is in the blue room. Now, what about me?" |
| Brighton | "Well, Niles, old boy, you have a choice – either sharing with Miss Babcock or me!" |
| Niles | (face falling) "Oh please, sir – I'll sleep on the sofa, in the kitchen, anywhere. Master Brighton talks in his sleep and …" |
| Fran | (coyly) "What about with Miss Babcock then, Niles?" |
| Niles | "Oh, just throw me off the balcony, please, sir!" |
| CC | (entering at Niles last words) "Ooh, ooh, I'll help, I'll help!" |
| Max | (rubbing his temple) "You'll share with Brighton, Niles, and that's final. Now, I suggest we all unpack and get a few hours rest. We'll plan to head out to explore the city around lunchtime. CC and I don't have to start work on the play until Wednesday." (to Fran) "Besides, I want to welcome you to Australia properly. I do hope our door has a lock!" |
| Everyone | "Okay, Dad…Yeah, I need a nap… I'll just get a quick shower…etc." |
| Scenes 6 and 7 (a tag scene) | A montage of shots around Sydney to the tune of "Sounds of Then – This is Australia" by GANGgajang. These to Include: Opera House, Circular Quay, a ferry ride, monorail, Taronga Park Zoo, Darling Harbor, The Queen Victoria Building, eating, shopping, taking pictures. Fran and Max are arm in arm, the kids excited about everything, Niles and CC bickering. Lots of activity. It ends with the whole group, the next night, at Sydney Tower at sunset. Views of the city as lights come on are spectacular. |
 | |
| Fran | "Isn't it just beautiful, Max. Ya know, I haven't watched a sunset like this with you in a while now." |
| Max | "I know, Fran. These past 2 days have been so bloody wonderful. I haven't had such a good time with you and all the children since the cruise – when was that – almost 3 years ago?" (to himself) "I still can't work out why I wasted so much time making a commitment." |
| Max | "Oh, Max, it was great. And have you noticed, even Niles and CC have stopped fighting. You know, this is one spectacular city and you're one spectacular man, Maxwell Sheffield. Is it any wonder that I love you so much!" (They rub noses) |
| Max | "And probably not as much as I love you! I wish I didn't have to start work tomorrow but it's only for a week or so, until casting is finished, then CC can take over. Niles can escort you and the children around for a few days. Just try to not completely deplete my credit cards!" (Fran slaps him on the arm.) "Remember, at the end of next week we start our big trip around this country. First, we're off to the Great Barrier Reef for a few days. You do realize that I'm looking forward to seeing you in a bikini again! After that we go to Uluru, Adelaide, Melbourne and then we end with three days at this ski resort called Thredbo." (feeling amorous all of a sudden) "C'mon, let's get the children and go back to our apartment. I'm in the mood for a little lovin' right now!" |
| Max | "Ooh, Mr. Sheffield!" (they kiss) |
Go on to Part Two
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