Disclaimer: The usual gang -- all characters are the property of Fran Drescher, Peter Marc Jacobson, High School Sweethearts, Sternin and Fraser, and Columbia TriStar Television. It's no longer necessary to give CBS a nod, is it?
This story takes place after Maggie's Wedding. Niles returns from his family reunion in London.
by
Denise
(scholars_parrot@lycos.com)
Niles was returning from London today. He was scheduled to arrive at Kennedy this morning, and no one but C.C. knew. Maxwell and Fran were expecting him to hop the pond on a later flight. The newly “outed” couple secretly planned to have some time to themselves, and they wanted no last minute business demands to interfere with their reunion. Besides, the idea of a clandestine tryst had a certain appeal.
C.C. had almost let it slip to Fran. Lately she had come to see Nanny Fine as an ally. After all, Fran was a wonderful friend to Niles, and that alone softened C.C.’s attitude toward her. Plus she knew Fran’s finagling to get them together was motivated by a desire to see them both happy -- although it had come perilously close to tearing them apart forever.
Even before Yetta accidentally revealed that Max and Fran were aware of their relationship, Niles and C.C. suspected Fran knew something. She had made too many knowing comments that first morning after. Since they had decided it was best to stay mum about their affair, they chose to ignore Fran’s less-than-subtle teasing; but by the time Yetta shocked her and spilled the beans, C.C. was actually relieved things were out in the open. Though she guessed Fran knew from that first night, C.C. wasn’t absolutely certain, and was naturally a little curious as to exactly where and when they had been caught (and more than a little embarrassed by precisely what might have been seen).
She decided against confiding to Fran only because of Maxwell. C.C. knew him well enough to know he was genuinely happy for her and Niles, but also well enough to know if a business need arose he’d want it handled immediately, whether the demand warranted it or not. Lately more and more business problems were arising, especially with the start-up of the new production company in California. Who knew if Max would panic needlessly and interrupt their reunion? The week Niles was away visiting relatives had nearly driven her crazy, and C.C. wasn’t about to risk any delay in being alone with him now -- though, as she had discovered, actually “being alone” was not a necessary prerequisite for sharing an intimate moment.
C.C. had missed him so much she offered to buy him a ticket on the Concorde to get him back in time for Maggie’s wedding -- and back to her quicker than expected -- but he hadn’t wanted to disappoint his family by leaving early.
Now he was finally on his way home, and she couldn’t be happier. Fran had teased her earlier in the morning. C.C. was especially animated and excited, nearly bounding out of her shoes in anticipation of the limo ride back from the airport and the time she would spend with Niles in their room reserved at the Waldorf-Astoria. “Aren’t you bubbly today, Miss Babcock? It wouldn’t have anything to do with Niles returning from London, would it? You better get a grip on it, honey, or you won’t last ’till he gets home this evening. I swear you remind me of a kid on the way to a candy store...or better yet, an ice cream fountain.” Fran wasn’t one to ever let up on innuendo.
C.C. muttered under her breath “Honey, I will have a grip on it, and a lot sooner than you think.”
“Did you say something, Miss Babcock?”
“Oh, no, I was just talking to myself.” But she couldn’t resist tossing some innuendo of her own right back at Fran, “I will tell you this, Nanny Fine, Niles sure made the right career choice when he decided to go ‘in service,’ because he’s excellent at it.” C.C. put extra emphasis on the word “excellent” to give added clarity to her meaning. And if that wasn’t enough she then expressed herself in no uncertain terms, “To put a new twist on an old saying, ‘hard help is so good to find.’” Until recently Fran would have been surprised if Miss Babcock had so willingly discussed such matters with her, but today they both shared a good laugh.
Under the guise of taking the limo to personally procure signatures on some contracts related to their current Broadway productions, C.C. headed out to Queens and the airport. The contracts had been signed the day before, but Max didn’t know that, and by the time he found out, it simply wouldn’t matter.
She was slightly peeved with Max, anyway. He had been a bit overbearing when she told him she needed the limousine for the day. Max all but lectured C.C. about her recent behavior, “And do be careful in the limo, privacy glass is rather costly to replace.”
C.C. was able to do nothing but blush and nod.
Maxwell’s cranky mood further added to her embarrassment, “I wouldn’t normally mention it, but expenses around here have increased so much. Our grocery bills have skyrocketed lately. It seems we’re running through all sorts of items that normally last much longer.”
If C.C. had blushed before, his last remark caused her to turn crimson red. Why had she ever allowed herself to believe she loved the man? He was clearly far too stuffy and insensitive -- not at all like her Niles.
God, how syrupy was that? Months ago, if she had been told she would be referring to him as “her Niles,” she would have laughed right in the face of the idiot foolish enough to say so. But now she really did think of him as hers and was so very thankful he was coming home.
His flight was scheduled to arrive at 10:15. C.C. had the gate number memorized and told the driver where to head.
She was going to tease Butler Boy a little. Her plan was to have the limo driver go into the terminal and find Niles, apologize to him for her not being there, say she’d been caught up in a last-minute business snafu and she would see him later that day. So he’d be a little upset -- when he climbed into the back of the limousine and found her waiting there, she would more than make up for it.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
“Where is that damn driver, where’s Niles?” C.C. had been waiting nearly 30 minutes, and the delay was beginning to get to her. To add to her frustration, her cell phone began to ring. She groaned, “Oh, God, now what?” flipped the phone open and answered, “C.C. Babcock, this better be good.”
“C.C., never answer the phone like that!”
“Sorry, Maxwell, what’s the problem?”
“Why do you assume there’s a problem? Is it so impossible to believe I might be calling for another reason?”
“Okay, what’s up then?”
“It seems we have a situation on our hands. Well, actually it is a little bit of a problem.”
C.C. held the phone away from her ear, looked at it and rolled her eyes. She then returned the phone to its proper position and asked, “What sort of a problem?”
“We’ve got investors coming in from California tomorrow, and I won’t be able to meet with them because I’m tied up with other things for the next two days. I’m afraid you’ll need to handle it for me.”
The news was irksome but not as bad as it might have been. She wouldn’t be able to give her full attention to Niles tomorrow, but they’d still have today all to themselves.
C.C. was returning the phone to her bag when Niles opened the limousine door. She didn’t even have time to assume an appropriately seductive pose, but it hardly mattered. His face told the story. When the door was only partially open his disappointment at believing she had been delayed was clearly palpable, but his face lit up like a child’s on Christmas morning the instant he caught sight of her.
“You awful tease. Why do you make me suffer so?”
“As punishment for years of abusive behavior.”
He pressed himself against her while she reclined back, and he firmly took her mouth with his own. When the kiss finally ended he inquired, “What penance must I do to receive forgiveness for my errant ways?”
“How about a Hail Mary -- and I mean the touchdown pass kind because you’re just about ready to score. The kiss let you off the hook.”
“Funny, I thought I was still on the hook.”
“You’re confusing me with your past relationships, lover.” She reached under his coat and pulled his shirt out of his pants.
“I see we’re already headed for the end zone.”
When he unbuttoned her overcoat his chin nearly hit the limo floor. They had shared so much in their short time together, and one of the things he’d told her was how the evening gown she wore the night of their intoxicated kiss had affected him. In his confession he made it quite clear it took all the discipline he could muster to keep himself from unzipping the garment and attacking her on the spot. He hadn’t seen the gown in the years since and wasn’t aware she still possessed it until now when he peeled back her coat. Typically, she wouldn’t still own the frock, but for some reason she had hung on to it. After she left the office and before she set out for the airport, C.C. had made a quick change. (Well, as quick a change as possible regarding that particular article of clothing.)
“Hmm, that dress you’re almost wearing looks familiar -- didn’t you need help getting into the thing?”
“No, but I’m going to need plenty of help getting out of it.”
“No problem -- I can’t think of a finer welcome home.”
He was all over her, his hands roaming freely as they worked their way to her zipper in back.
At a most inopportune moment her phone rang again, it was another call from Maxwell. He wanted to confirm the time Niles would be arriving from London so he could discuss the following day’s menu with him. C.C. told him the hour she and Niles had agreed to and got off the phone as quickly as possible.
To say Niles was a little irritated with the interruption was an understatement. “Good lord, he’s such a pest. You’d think we’re supposed to be at his beck and call at all times.”
“Really, why does he feel free to phone in the middle of the day?”
They looked at one another and each realized what they’d just said. Both spoke the same words simultaneously, “Oh, right.”
As they were resuming their disrupted activities, the limousine jostled and came to a halt. C.C. looked at Niles and asked, “I don’t think that was us this time, do you?”
Despite his annoyance with their bad luck, Niles began to laugh. He remembered the incident she was referring to as one of the more pleasant experiences of his life, and he enjoyed her wickedly sly allusion to it. “No, love, this time I actually think it was outside forces that shook the car.”
Their driver stepped out of the limo and tapped on one of the passenger compartment windows. He was more than a little wary of rolling down the privacy glass without offering fair warning, especially after nearly getting an earful of the heel of a Gucci pump the last time he chauffeured these two.
A lumber truck had spilled some of its load, and one lane of the expressway took on the appearance of an obstacle course. In an attempt to avoid the hazardous planks, a car from the lumber-strewn lane drifted into the one Niles and C.C. were travelling in and bumped the limousine. Their driver had been able to pull off the road immediately, and he had already called in the accident.
Now they had to wait for the police to arrive, and go through the bother of filling out an accident report. The damage to the limo was superficial, so they would be able to proceed as normal once the officer permitted them to leave.
When they got under way Maxwell called again. He wanted to make certain C.C. had made arrangements to collect Niles at the airport when he arrived. “You can be assured, Maxwell, I have every intention of picking him up when he returns.” She gazed at Niles with a look of pure desire.
Niles couldn’t believe Mr. Sheffield would actually feel the need to make that call. “Well, isn’t he just really on the ball today. Do me a favor and turn off that thing before he calls again.”
“It’s already off.”
“See how compatible we are.”
“I’d rather feel how compatible we are.”
“Another thing we’re in agreement on.”
Things were now getting steamy in the back of the limo, but the remainder of the trip was an unusually quick one. On any other occasion that would come as a welcome relief, but not today. Between Maxwell’s phone calls and their little traffic mishap, they didn’t have the opportunity for a proper hello -- or, more suitably, a proper “hello, hello”.
“We’re not going to have time, are we?” Niles noticed they were just blocks from the hotel.
“Probably not.”
In his frustration, Niles spoke perhaps a little too truthfully, “You have no idea how quickly I could do this.”
“And I hope to never find out.”
“You’d still enjoy it.”
“I’m sure I would but we honestly don’t have time. Let’s just be a little more patient; after all, good things come to those who wait.”
“How well I know, love, how well I know,” Niles sighed. He remembered something and reached into his overcoat pocket to pull out a present, “Well, at least I have time to slip you this.”
She took one look at the long, thin box and immediately noticed it came from one of London’s most prestigious jewelers. “Niles, you shouldn’t have...”
“Hush,” he gently kissed her lips to silence the protest. “How could I leave for a week and return without a gift for you?” He opened the box to reveal a simple silver necklace with a sapphire pendant.
She knew his funds were limited and his extravagance caused her some concern, but it was an exquisite piece of jewelry and would look stunning on her. And, goodness, how well he knew her taste. “Oh thank you, Niles, it’s lovely...put it on me.” She leaned forward and pulled her hair out of the way. Niles unclasped the item, draped it around her neck and fastened it. It was obvious she loved the surprise, and that pleased him so.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Yetta was something of a hot commodity around town now that her life was the basis for a smash hit on Broadway. Yetta’s Letters had exploded in a media frenzy which included the publication of the letters in book form. It just so happened today was the day she was to sign copies of the predicted bestseller at several bookstores in Manhattan. A reception in her honor was scheduled to take place before the signings. It was originally slated to be at the Hilton, but had been switched to the Waldorf at the last minute because of a scheduling conflict.
Fran, Max and Yetta were milling about in the room where the reception was being held. In casual conversation Fran mentioned how excited C.C. had been earlier that day, and Yetta picked up on it. She directed one of her slightly off-kilter comments to Max. “Now that she’s foolin’ around with the houseboy, I guess you’re really relieved that big blonde ex-wife of yours won’t be chasing after you anymore.”
“She’s not my ex-wife, Yetta.” Max was barely able to contain his annoyance.
“You mean my Frannie’s married to an arsonist?”
“That’s bigamist, Yetta.” Fran’s correction wasn’t exactly what Maxwell had in mind.
“Fran!”
“Calm down, honey.” Fran then explained to Yetta, “Max isn’t a bigamist. He and Miss Babcock were never married.”
“So the kids aren’t legitimate? Oh, God bless you, Frannie, for being so sweet to them. You know some people would frown on that sort of thing.” Yetta turned to Max and gave him a look of disapproval.
Max had just about had all he could take. “My children are perfectly legitimate, thank you.” He turned from Yetta to address his wife. “Fran, I don’t think I can tolerate anymore of these publicity appearances unless you somehow manage to set her straight on the facts.”
“I don’t know, sweetie, that’s a pretty large order. You want me to bring Ma along to see if she can help?”
“Darling, I know large orders are your mother’s speciality, but I don’t think having her around will make these events any more pleasant...besides, she shouldn’t have sold the film rights of Yetta’s Letters to Spielberg.”
Fran began to cry, “Oh, Max, you hate my family.” As Max had learned all too well, Fran’s pregnancy was a maddening trip on The Hormone Express.
“Now, sweetheart, you know that’s not so, I’m simply under a lot of stress right now, especially with the move to California coming up.”
“And I’m not under a lot of stress, especially with the move of two little people from inside of me to outside of me coming up?”
“I can’t seem to win here, can I?”
“It’s three against one, Mister, what do you think?”
“I think we should wrap up this reception and get out of here. We’re going to be pressed to make all of the signings if we don’t leave soon.”
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Niles and C.C. walked into the lobby hand in hand. While they were signing in at the registration desk, C.C. noticed Max, Fran and Yetta. She immediately made Niles aware of their presence and groaned, “Oh, God, what are they doing here? They’re supposed to be at the Hilton.” Niles gave her hand a squeeze then quickly released it, and without missing a beat he exited the lobby toward the rear of the hotel.
Max spotted her just after Niles disappeared from view. He called out to her, “C.C., I see you got my message on your voice-mail, I tried your cell phone but it must not have been working.”
Of course, her cell phone had been turned off after his last interruption and she hadn’t even bothered to check her voice-mail, but she was quick on her feet (and her timing off her feet was pretty good, too, as Niles could attest) and she was able to bluff well enough to figure out what Maxwell’s message had concerned.
The situation was not at all to her liking. Nick and Ellen Arden, the married couple from California who were potential investors, had come in a day earlier than expected, and Max had contacted her to book a suite for them because the hotel had none available and he knew she had some pull with the staff. He now assumed C.C. had finalized the arrangement and was here to greet and entertain the couple, but in truth the only person she had planned on entertaining was Niles.
C.C. couldn’t help but wonder if Max was already at the Waldorf, why on earth didn’t he just book the damn suite himself? Certainly as a producer with a white-hot Broadway hit on his hands, he had more than enough clout to do so. But that sort of thing rarely occurred to him; he had always depended on her to tie up loose ends.
If she was going to discreetly book another room, C.C. would have to get rid of Maxwell. “Give me a few minutes to finish up here, and I’ll meet you in the coffee shop.”
“Alright, thanks for taking care of this. I knew I could count on you.” Out of the corner of his eye Max noticed the Ardens entering the hotel lobby. “Oh, there are the Ardens now. Excuse me, C.C. -- as you said, we’ll meet up in the coffee shop and you can escort Nick and Ellen to their suite.”
The desk clerk eyed her suspiciously after Max left.
C.C. noticed the look, “Not a word to anyone, you got that?”
“Certainly, Miss Babcock.”
The additional suite was booked, and C.C. had one more task to attend to before she could join Maxwell and the guests from California. Though no one but Niles knew, she was still wearing the evening gown underneath her coat, and she would have to change to a more appropriate outfit before she could greet the Ardens. Fortunately, since that first night with Niles she had taken up the habit of always carrying a change of clothes in her oversized shoulder bag.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Niles waited outside the lobby until he thought it would be safe to return. As he approached the desk he noticed the clerk who had registered him and C.C. was no longer there. He thought quickly and concocted a plan to find out what room number she had been assigned. Normally the hotel staff wouldn’t release such information, but Niles convinced one of the clerks currently on duty to give him the number by explaining he was the Sheffields’ butler and needed to personally deliver an important package to Miss Babcock of Sheffield-Babcock Productions. He showed his Butlers Guild Card to eliminate any doubts there might be concerning his veracity. This particular clerk was familiar enough with Miss Babcock to know if she was expecting a package and didn’t receive it, there would be hell to pay. Though Niles’ actions may have been a bit misleading, he figured they were entirely ethical. After all, the part about delivering an important “package” to C.C. was absolutely true -- it just wasn’t the conventional type of package the clerk assumed it to be.
As he was crossing the lobby in the direction of the elevators, Niles was spotted by Fran. Yetta was at an impromptu photo shoot, and the photographers had chased Fran away because she was working her way into every shot.
“Niles, Niles! What are you doing here?” The voice was unmistakable and Niles realized he’d been caught.
Fran ran up to him and gave him a big hug. Niles tried to give her an answer, “I took an earlier flight and, uh, uh...”
“You and Miss Babcock made plans for the day, didn’t you?”
“Well, something like that.”
“Oh, Niles, I’m so happy for you two.” They hugged again.
“Thank you. I must say it was quite a relief to learn things were out in the open.” His curiosity got the better of him and he had to ask her a question. “Although, just how out in the open were things when you found out about us?”
“Let’s just say you were both asleep, and you looked very, very relaxed.”
Niles’ concerns were eased when he heard the sighting had not been an X-rated one.
Since C.C. and Max were nowhere to be seen Niles took the opportunity to show off the engagement ring he picked up in London. “It’s beautiful, but, Niles, you’re not going to propose again, are you?”
“No, it’s too soon. I just wanted to have this available for when the time is right.”
Niles knew he was taking a huge risk in making Fran aware of the ring, but he was so thrilled with his acquisition, he couldn’t resist. He did give her a stern warning, though, “It’s absolutely imperative we keep quiet about this. I don’t want to scare her away.”
“Niles, believe me, she’s not going anywhere. I saw the way she moped around while you were gone. Why, between calling you and waiting for you to call her, she pretty much spent the entire week with the phone in her hand.”
That bit of information pleased him to no end, still he wasn’t taking any chances, “Just the same, I’d like you to keep this under your hat. And if you don’t mind, I’d rather Mr. Sheffield not know I’m back until later this evening.”
Fran understood. “My lips are sealed. And the ring really is gorgeous, but, you know, Uncle Stanley’s in the business. Why didn’t you come to me? Anything you want, I can get it for you wholesale.”
“That’s kind of you to offer, but I felt this should come from my part of the world so it would have special meaning. Besides, I have an old school chum who’s a jeweler.
“You got better than wholesale, didn’t you?”
“Oh, much better than wholesale. What do you think of that?”
They once again hugged each other. Fran regarded any shopping bargain as a reason for serious celebration.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
C.C. was visiting with the Ardens in their suite. The door to the hall was open wide enough for her to notice Niles approaching. Since there was no telling what he would do or say when he walked through the door, she became panicky. She really shouldn’t have feared the worst, though, because he noticed she wasn’t alone and that she was now dressed in business clothes. He immediately came up with a cover similar to the one he had used on the desk clerk. He stopped outside the room and knocked on the open door. “Pardon me, Miss Babcock, I hate to intrude, but Mr. Sheffield asked me to deliver a message.”
She was half-tempted to put him on the spot by asking him what the message was, but she refrained. Instead she turned to the Ardens, explained this was Maxwell Sheffield’s butler, excused herself and stepped out in the hall to speak with him. She closed the door behind her so their conversation wouldn’t be overheard.
“What are you doing here? This isn’t our room.”
“But the desk clerk told me...”
She interrupted, “There are two suites listed under my name, and he obviously gave you the wrong number.”
“Two suites? I know we can get a bit carried away, but honestly one suite will suffice.” He leaned in close to her and delivered the line with a killer grin.
She adored his sense of humor and returned the look before explaining, “It’s a long story. Here’s your key and the number to our room, I’ll be there as soon as possible, and I’ll fill you in on everything then. I’m sorry about all this -- I knew I should have booked us into a more out-of-the-way hotel.”
“I thought the more public a place, the better.”
She laughed. “Normally, that’s true, but there are too many business contacts here. Well, I’ll just have to take care of this now and then we can spend the rest of the day in bed,” she dropped her voice an octave, “...or wherever.”
Niles smiled, gave her a quick kiss, and left.
C.C. returned to the Ardens. Although she wasn’t at all happy about it, she knew it was a necessary business duty to continue the visit. At least they were a pleasant couple -- that would make the chat seem less of a chore than these things typically were.
Nick and Ellen were not only a pleasant couple, they were a tired couple, and they felt free to politely explain they really weren’t up to an extended visit. Their flight had been an early one and the jet lag hit them harder than expected.
C.C. tried to contain her glee upon hearing the news, but they could tell she was secretly elated. Ellen privately guessed it had something to do with the butler. In the brief time she saw the two of them together, the looks they had given one another were electrifying.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Maxwell realized that he, Fran and Yetta had some free time before the first book signing, and he decided to check on C.C.’s progress with the Ardens. He felt slightly guilty about dumping them on her at the last minute, and he thought he might try to aid in the negotiations while he had the opportunity.
He checked with the front desk for the number to the Ardens’ suite. The clerk recognized him from the photo the New York Times had run in conjunction with the article about Yetta’s Letters, so he felt free to entrust Max with the information. A small delay occurred when the clerk took the time to double check the number. The suite was registered in Miss Babcock’s name and he knew everyone on staff found her so intimidating they occasionally made nervous errors when dealing with her.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Niles was in the shower when C.C. showed up at their suite. She placed a call to room service, and got out of her clothes and into something more comfortable.
She was tempted to hop in the shower with him, but someone had to answer the door when the order from room service arrived.
The knock at the door came sooner than expected and C.C. was thrilled. Maybe she would get to surprise Niles in the shower after all. (Well, that would certainly swell the ranks.) She rushed to answer the door and was shocked when she saw Max standing in the hallway with Fran and Yetta by his side. But if shock described her reaction, it was far too mild a word for Maxwell’s. He had an expression of sheer disbelief and horror on his face.
He took one look at the bathrobe C.C. was wearing and surmised the absolute worst. Max stormed into the room and Fran and Yetta followed. “What are you doing here dressed like that? I’ve heard rumors through the years about how you procured funds from investors, but I never believed they were true!”
“Maxwell, that’s uncalled for!”
“I believe it’s more than called for, C.C. -- why, this is outrageous! And just where the devil are the Ardens, by the way?”
C.C. was now so enraged she didn’t care what he thought. “They had jet lag, and all I can say is hooray for that!”
Max remembered his butler and friend, “Oh, my God, C.C., what about Niles? Didn’t you even think about him?”
“Think about him is all I’ve been able to do.” She looked directly at Fran and stressed, “...all I’ve been able to do.”
Max didn’t understand, “I thought you loved him.”
C.C. didn’t know how to reply to that. She was able to express her love to Niles, but it was really none of Maxwell’s damn business. After calming down a degree, she decided it would be best to respond indirectly. “Relax, Maxwell. Niles is perfectly fine.”
Niles called out from the suite’s bedroom, “It’s true, sir, I’m perfectly fine with her being here,” he then mumbled to no one in particular, “it’s the fact the rest of you are here I find rather annoying.”
“Niles?” Max knew his butler’s distinctive voice, but he was certain Niles’ flight wasn’t coming in until later that evening, after all, C.C. had told him so just this morning. “I heard that last remark, by the way!”
Niles stepped into the sitting room. His hair was still damp from his shower, and he was wearing a plush hotel robe identical to C.C.’s.
Max was puzzled. “Why are you here?”
“Really, sir, why do you think?”
“I know why you’re here. What I mean is weren’t you supposed to be on a plane at this hour?”
“Well, since I was on a plane earlier, I hardly found it necessary to be on one at this hour, too.” Now that he was no longer inclined to toy with C.C.’s mind, he had found a new target.
“I’m in a complete fog here.” C.C. and Niles drolly looked at one another as if to say what else is new. “Is this or is this not the Ardens’ room?” Max demanded.
C.C. took Niles by the arm and answered, “It’s our room, Maxwell. It was always intended to be our room. I booked it earlier this week, and I got another suite for the Ardens today. Look, Niles flew in this morning and I picked him up at the airport, get the picture?”
“I thought you were getting signatures on contracts this morning.”
“I finished up early.” She walked over to where she had set her shoulder bag, retrieved the papers from it, and practically threw them at him.
He reviewed and noticed, “These are dated yesterday.”
“I finished up real early,” C.C. spoke through gritted teeth.
Fran heard the frustration in C.C.’s voice and tried to persuade Max to leave, “Honey, I think we better go now.”
“Not until I get an explanation.”
His refusal to leave annoyed Fran. “Well, I can explain until I’m blue in the face but apparently you’re not gonna catch on unless a truck hits you, and I don’t see that happening on the 17th floor.”
“Oh, let me spell it out for him, Niles and I just wanted some time together, that’s all.”
“And you thought what, that I would interrupt you?”
“Well, yeah...what exactly is it you’re doing here now?”
Max opened his mouth to dispute her, but he realized she was more or less right. “I take your point. But next time just ask, I don’t like all this secretiveness.”
“Alright, sir, from now on we’ll be out in the open with all our secrets.”
“That’s right Niles.” Fran playfully chimed in. “You really can’t keep too many secrets from us, anyway...after all, we know all about you and your smiling banana.” Niles’ frustration was at a peak and Fran’s comment did not elicit the reaction she was hoping for. It was a little too personal a reference to his and C.C.’s first night together to suit his mood, and he was not amused.
Niles made it clear he wanted some privacy and he wanted it now. “Well, if you know all about it then you must know my banana isn’t happy to see you, but it is very, very ripe. So could you please drag Yetta and your kvetching husband out of our room?” He motioned for them to leave. He also caught a glimpse of the look in C.C.’s eyes and realized she viewed his outburst in a very positive light.
Fran became uncharacteristically subdued. “Maxwell, we’re really wearing out our welcome. Let’s get outta here before something explodes.” She made sure Yetta was aware they needed to go. “Yetta, we’re leaving now.”
Niles walked over to the door in an attempt to hasten their departure. When he passed by Yetta she leaned toward him and whispered in her typically loud way, “I hear you really rang the bell at Wal-Mart. Way to go, pal.” His jaw fell somewhat and his eyes became as big as saucers. He looked to C.C. for an explanation as to why Yetta would know about that incident -- after all, it had been quite a private moment, even if it took place at such a public site. But C.C. didn’t bother to give him any answers; instead, she just laughed and delighted in his shocked expression.
Niles apologetically patted Fran on the arm before she left -- he didn’t want her to take his eruption too much to heart, although he did want her to leave. Once Max, Fran and Yetta were gone, Niles hung the “Do Not Disturb” sign on the knob, and closed and locked the door. He then turned to face C.C., “My God, I thought they’d never leave.”
C.C. crossed the room and stood next to him. She took his left hand and held it between hers, “Niles, we need to take the sign off the door for a minute. I’m expecting one more interruption, but I think you’ll approve.” She stroked the top of his hand. “Anyway, I wanted to talk about those rumors Maxwell mentioned.”
“I’m not concerned about that, we both have a past, you know. Although I must admit, I believe yours is somewhat more colorful.”
“I just want you to know I may have dated a few investors, but those rumors really aren’t true.”
He placed his right hand under her chin and tilted her face toward his. “Love, I know that, who do you think started all those rumors?”
The instant he made that confession he regretted it, for he thought she might become angry with him. He was on the verge of apologizing when she shushed him and gave him a kiss that removed any doubt as to what was coming next.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Traffic was so heavy in the hall when they left Niles and C.C.’s suite that Fran wondered if Yetta would mistake it for Grand Central Station and try to board a train for Atlantic City. A bellboy was bringing up the luggage Niles had checked just before he had been forced to bail out on C.C. at the registration desk. And right behind him was a waiter pushing a room service cart. The waiter rolled the cart to a stop at Niles and C.C.’s door. As they passed by it, Max and Fran noticed the cart was filled with what appeared to be every sauce, syrup and topping the hotel menu had to offer.
“I don’t care what anybody says, I’ll not make love using condiments.” Max made a firm arm gesture to emphasize his disapproval.
“Why are you telling me? Anyone can look at your wife and see that.” Yetta pointed at the very pregnant Fran.
Max attempted to explain to Yetta what he had actually said. “I didn't say what you thought I said -- I said condiments, Yetta, cond-i-ments.”
Fran discouraged him from making the effort. “You do know you’re not going to clear anything up, don’t you?”
The wait for the elevator was a particularly long one; the room service attendant had departed several minutes before by way of the service elevator, and Fran and Max were growing restless (and Yetta was oblivious to it all).
The elevator finally arrived and Yetta hopped on as soon as its doors opened; just before they were to board, Fran and Max looked back down the hall. The door to Niles and C.C.’s suite opened and out came the bellboy, minus his uniform. Similar to Niles in height and build, he was wearing a hotel bathrobe and happily counting a wad of bills. No one on the staff would believe his good fortune -- all that money would buy ten uniforms and he’d only have to replace the one.
“What on earth?” Max was thoroughly confused. As a light partially dawned he was more exasperated than ever, “Oh, no, I could have gone the rest of my life without seeing that! I don’t even want to imagine what those two are up to.”
Fran gently nudged him onto the elevator. “I’ll explain later, honey. Let’s go now.”
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Niles stepped out of the bathroom and nodded in the direction of the door the bellboy had departed from not more than a couple of minutes before. “You sure made him happy.”
“Didn’t you know? Lately, I’ve been in the habit of making bellboys happy.”
“And just when did you pick up that habit?”
“When I decided to go slumming a few weeks ago and picked up you.”
Niles walked over to her. He was a touch doubtful about their latest game. “Must I wear the cap, too?”
“Oh, yes, that’s absolutely mandatory.”
“You really are a twisted gal, aren’t you?”
“You’ve never complained before.”
His doubts persisted, “True, it’s just that I’m not so sure about this. I’ve already showered and I really don’t much like wearing clothes someone else has worn.”
C.C. slithered up to him and placed her hands on his shoulders. “Don’t worry, I imagine you’ll be hitting the shower again pretty soon, anyway. And as for wearing clothes others have had on, you’ve done that before when you’ve tried on clothes in stores.”
Niles placed his hands around her waist and brought his face close to hers, but resisted further contact. “I don’t try on clothes in stores, my clothes are tailor-made.”
“How can you afford it?” She found his closeness incredibly enticing.
“Through mastery of the language -- I have the phrase ‘charge that to Maxwell Sheffield’s account’ down cold.” They teased one another, each hoping the other would be the first to make a serious move.
“You devious swine, no wonder I love you so. But how did you get away with it all these years?”
“It seems Mr. Sheffield’s business manager’s mind was on other things.” Niles brushed his cheek against hers.
“Still is, it’s just that it’s other other things now, so please feel free to continue dressing yourself in style.”
“Speaking of dressing myself, you know, this really is a bit silly,” he looked down at the outfit he was wearing. “I’m only going to be in this thing for about five minutes.”
C.C. looked directly in his eyes. “Oh, do you think you’re going to be in it that long?”
Niles smiled in anticipation. “Wouldn’t it have the same effect if I draped the pants on a chair and flung the jacket over my shoulder?”
“That would be a good look, too, but it wouldn’t allow me the pleasure of ripping it off your body.”
“Oh, I see.”
Finally, the temptation proved to be too great. She grabbed his jacket and tore it open, sending the buttons flying in all directions. She then kissed his exposed chest. Her flirtatious passion excited him and his fly button popped without the aid of her hands or his. She played the scene for all it was worth as she seductively teased, “I want you to know I’ve never done anything like this before.”
Ever willing to please, Niles responded to her dialogue. “I find that hard to believe.”
She looked down, “And I believe I find that to be hard.”
C.C. dropped her robe from her shoulders and let it slowly fall to the carpet, revealing the fact she wore nothing but the sapphire pendant he bought her in London. She then bit his ear and whispered into it, “Niles, get out of that ridiculous uniform and get into bed.” She grabbed his hand to lead the way.
Not to be outdone, he tugged in the opposite direction. “I have it in mind to get into something else, love.” He raised an eyebrow to indicate his words had more than one meaning. She countered with her “oh, really” look and Niles continued, “You mentioned something about a shower earlier?” He startled her as he lifted her into his arms, kissed her and carried her in the direction of the bath. “You’re not the only one accustomed to picking up things, you know.”
“Niles, we’re forgetting something.”
“What?” He was desperate to have her and could only venture a confused guess as to what she was talking about. “We decided birth control was unnecessary.”
“Don’t get your big shorts in a wad, that’s not what I meant.”
He leered at her. “You know why my shorts are so big.”
“I’m happy to say I do.” She giggled as Niles set her down and began nuzzling her neck. Soon his jacket was flung to one corner of the bath. “If you don’t stop, you’ll make me forget what it is we’re forgetting,” she moaned. He continued caressing her as she freed him from his pants. He hit a spot that jarred her memory and she hungrily voiced a tempting request. “Now I remember, bellboy,” she ran her fingers through his hair and tugged at his cap, which was the last remaining thing he wore, “while you’re still partially in uniform, why don’t you bring in the room service cart?”
Always the faithful servant, Niles was more than happy to oblige.
The End
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