DISCLAIMER: Once again, the characters in this story aren't mine. They are the property of the producers and creators of 'The Nanny' ... Except for the 'mystery' dinner guest, but he's not mine either! (Sigh!) .
by
Maxie
(maxie_s@hotmail.com)
Fran Sheffield arrived home after dropping the twins off to stay at her parents place for the night to find Niles looking rather flustered. "Niles, what’s going on?" she asked him as he attempted to plump the sofa cushions whilst furiously scanning his recipe book.
"Well, your darling husband and my witchy wife just rang and gave me 30 minutes notice that they’re bringing an important guest home for dinner" he replied, rushing back into the kitchen where he started opening and closing cupboards, seemingly at random. "I’m not superman you know, half an hour! How am I suppose to prepare a fancy meal in that space of time?" In his haste he sent a carton of eggs flying of the counter. "Damn!"
"Honey, honey…relax," said Fran calmly reaching for the phone. She quickly dialled the number of her and Max’s favourite restaurant and requested the maitre de. "How many are we catering for?" she asked Niles, holding her hand over the mouthpiece while she waited.
"Five" he replied. "You and Max, Me and Babs and whoever this guest is. Gracie is eating at her friend’s place tonight."
Fran nodded just as a voice came over the line "Sergio?…Hi, it’s Fran Sheffield here. How things?….That’s good. Listen, we have a small problem here, I don’t suppose you’d be able to send a prepared meal for five over here?….about an hour…..Lobster?" she raised a questioning eyebrow to Niles who nodded. "That’s great…you’re a doll, have you got Max’s credit card number?….Great….okay, thanks. Bye" She rang off blowing kisses as she did so. She grinned triumphantly at Niles.
"I love a woman who knows her way around the kitchen!" he beamed, looking greatly relieved.
"Okay, that’s dinner sorted, now let’s get the house straightened up. It’s amazing how messier this place gets since the arrival of those two munchkins of yours."
"Hey…wait till we add your baby into the mix in a couple of months…anyway I think the increase of mess has more to do with C.C. moving in. Man that woman has some stuff!" complained Fran, following him through to the living room.
"Yea, she’s a regular pack-mule alright. Or is it just Mule? Or ass?" he chuckled, wishing C.C. was there to hear him.
Fran grinned at his joke. "You know, I’m still not sure what it’s taking me longer to recover from…giving birth to 15 pounds of baby or that fact that you married her!"
"I know! I still waiting to wake up from the nightmare" he quipped. "The sad thing is though….(sigh)I’ve never been happier in my life."
Fran threw a baby blanket she’d just picked up at him. "Come on you, we don’t have time for you to start getting mushy. Who is this mystery visitor we’re expecting anyway?"
"I’m not sure. All I know is that it’s some Broadway actor they’re hoping to cast in their new sit-com when we get to L.A."
"Oh God" whined Fran "an actor!"
"I know" commiserated Niles "nasty creatures…they’re either filled with egos, talking about themselves non-stop, or they’re just plain weird!"
"Or both" laughed Fran. "Oh well, I guess we’re just gonna have to cope for tonight. At least we’ll have each other."
The two of them set to work and within twenty minutes they’d tidied the house to an acceptable standard and had managed to dress for dinner as well. They were in the kitchen, keeping an eye out for the delivery boy, when they heard the front door open.
"Fran…darling?" called Max. "We’re home."
Fran and Niles went into the living room to greet their respective spouses.
"Oh Sir!" Niles cried upon spotting C.C. "You’ve brought the old bag back with you. I thought I gave you $100 to lose her." He approached his wife and kissed her cheek. "Are you okay?" he said quietly. "You look a little tired."
"I am a bit but I’m alright" she answered. She raised her voice for the benefit of the others. "You’re not getting rid of me that easily Butler-Boy, I’m sticking around to make your life as miserable as possible!"
As always, Fran and Max stood staring at the strange duo, bewildered by their relationship.
Deciding it was best to ignore them, Fran turned to Max "Where’s our dinner guest? I thought you were bringing them with you."
"He’ll be here in a second, he was just finishing up a phone call with his agent in the car."
"Is he going to sign?" she asked him.
Max was interrupted from answering by a knock on the door. He held up a hand up to Fran showing his crossed fingers as Niles went top open the door.
Upon discovering the identity of the visitor, Niles’ eyes grew wide. Forgetting to finish the task of actually letting the man in, he turned to the others with a look of awe on his face. "D..d..d" he began stammering.
"Niles, did you forget your medication again?" C.C. asked him teasingly. She’d known he would respond like this. She knew how much her husband admired this man work. She grabbed Niles’ arm and pulled him out of the way, allowing their guest to enter.
Max went up to him and greeted him warmly. "Come and meet my wife" he said. "Fran, this is the actor I was telling you about, Mr Daniel Davis! ….Daniel, this is my wife Fran and over there is C.C.’s husband Niles."
"Nice to meet you" Fran said.
"P..pleased to m..meet you" stuttered Niles.
"You’ll have to excuse my husband, he’s an idiot-servant " quipped C.C.
"Don’t you mean idiot-savant?" Daniel asked her.
"No, idiot-servant" dead-panned C.C.
"Niles is also my butler." Max intervened before C.C. started having too much fun.
Daniel’s eyes twinkled as he began to get the picture. "Oh, I see."
Niles finally found his voice. "Sorry about that Mr Davis, It’s just that I’m a huge fan of yours. I’ve seen all of your plays, in fact when I hear you’re starring in one, I make a point of going to see it."
"Thanks Niles, it’s always great to meet a theatre fan…and call me Daniel."
"Okay Daniel….Can I get you anything to drink? Dinner will be here..er..served in a wee while."
Everyone duly placed their orders and Niles trotted off to fetch them.
"Make mine a double!" C.C. called after him, knowing full well that he would be bringing her back a soda.
"So how did it go with your agent?" inquired Max, eager to get a deal signed.
"Can’t give you a definite answer yet Max, but I have to be honest with you, it’s not looking too promising I’m afraid" replied Daniel.
"Oh" said Max, a little disappointed.
"It’s nothing to do with your project," he hastily assured him, "actually, you’ve made me an extremely generous offer, however, I am committed to this new play that’s starting in a few weeks and I’m not sure how long it’s going to run for. In fact, C.C…." he said, spying Niles returning with the drinks "why don’t you and Niles come along to opening night as my guest? You guys too" he added, motioning to Fran and Max. "It’s called ‘The Invention Of Love’, it’s a Tom Stoppard play."
"That would be great!" enthused Niles, "But do I have to bring HER?" his eyes flickered towards C.C.
"Actually Daniel, I have a policy not to been seen in public with HIM" rebutted C.C.
"Hmmm, that’s quite a dilemma we have" said Daniel, getting into the spirit of things. Suddenly he snapped his fingers. "I know! How about…you both arrive separately, I’ll greet you separately and then you can each sit on opposite side of the theatre."
"What do you reckon Butler boy, can we live with that?" C.C. asked.
"I guess it might work…ok!"
As the trio chuckled over their little joke, Fran and Max looked at each other and rolled their eyes, obviously Niles and C.C. had just found someone else who ‘marched to the beat of their drum’. In fact, Fran pondered ‘Daniel and Niles actually seemed to resemble each other’. She was about to comment on the resemblance when she heard faint tapping on the back door. Realising it was the dinner being delivered, she caught Niles’ eye and motioned towards the kitchen with her head.
"Oh right!" said Niles, catching her meaning. "Excuse me, I have to go and …er ..see to the dinner." He made his way to the kitchen.
"I’ll give you a hand Niles" Fran said, hurrying after him.
Once they were in the kitchen Niles started to gush, "Can you believe it? Daniel Davis, here, in OUR living-room!"
"Actually Niles" answered Fran, opening the back door and taking the food from the delivery boy, quickly waving him away without saying a word to him, "I’m a little embarrassed to admit it but I’m not too sure who he is. He does look kinda familiar but I can’t quite place him."
"Sacrilege!!" exclaimed Niles, "Why the man was nominated for a Tony Award last year!"
"Yea?..well, you know me, I’m just not the theatre buff you are" she responded, placing the lobsters on plates and onto the serving trolley. "The only plays I see are the ones Max produces…And I tend to sleep through those!" she added, causing Niles to give a snort of laughter.
"Well, take it from me, the man is a genius!" said Niles, wheeling the trolley through to the dining-room, where he found the others already seated and patiently waiting.
"Dinner is served!" he announced with a flourish as Fran took her seat beside Max. He served the meals and went and stood in his usual place behind Max’s shoulder.
"Niles" sighed Max in exasperation, flicking his eyes to the vacant chair beside C.C.
"Oops, Sorry Sir." Niles said, grabbing the last meal and taking his seat, "old habits."
"Don’t you mean ‘old dog, new tricks’?" C.C. cackled.
In response, Niles broke open the tail of his lobster, deliberately aiming it so a portion of the shell went flying onto C.C’s top.
"Niles!" she cried.
Daniel was clearly amused by their antics. "How the hell did you two end up married?" he asked conversationally.
"It was either me or the chauffer ….I drew the short straw!" explained Niles.
"And your version?" Daniel asked, turning to C.C.
"Well, Toilet Duck here knocked me up. It was a shot-gun wedding…" C.C. paused for dramatic effect, "….my daddy held the pistol to my head the entire ceremony!"
This caused more eye rolling from Fran and Max as the other three burst into laughter.
"Actually, they love each other dearly and couldn’t imagine life without each other" stated Max, grinning as he waited for what was certain be a swift response.
Niles didn’t let him down. "THAT is a nasty, vicious rumour!" he said empathetically, "One which I’ll deny until my dying breath!" He shot C.C. an affectionate look, which totally nullified his words.
"And what about the two of you?" asked Daniel, wagging his finger back and forth between Fran and Max, "How did you get together?"
"Well, Fran used to work for me..and I use that term VERY loosely….as my nanny" replied Max.
"Hmmm, So you married your nanny and your business partner married your butler, you know that sounds very similar to the plot-line on the sit-com I used to work on."
"Ah, T.V.! That’s where I’ve seen you!" exclaimed Fran, snapping her fingers.
"You mean you haven’t seen my plays?" pouted Daniel, sounding uncannily like Niles when he affected a wounded tone. He gave Fran a quick wink to let he know that no offence had been taken.
"Well, I probably shouldn’t say so, considering the company I’m in, but I’m not really much of a theatre goer" said Fran, causing Max to visibly wince.
"So you’re a T.V. gal?" prompted Daniel.
"Well I wouldn’t exactly say that" replied Fran, "but I do like to watch it a bit, especially the soapies, Days Of Our Lives used to be my favourite but it just hasn’t been the same since Shane Donovan left….(Sigh)…now there was a man!…."
Max handed his wife a napkin, "Fran you’re drooling again" he said dryly.
"Oh Honey, don’t be jealous, I’m sure you’re every inch the man he is." Fran said, patting his arm placatingly. She turned back towards Daniel, "I’m also a big fan of the big screen" she stated.
"Yea? What are some of your favourite movies?" he inquired.
"Oh, there are so many!" enthused Fran, "An oldie but goodie is Saturday Night Fever, I still like that one, and I’ve always enjoyed slightly off-beat ones…like…’This is Spinal Tap’… have you ever seen that?"
"No, doesn’t ring a bell" answered Daniel.
"Well it was a wee while ago now I guess. Max, what are some of the more recent ones we’ve seen?" she asked her husband.
"What was that one with Robin Williams in it? Remember he was just a kid?" Max replied.
"Jack! That’s right, it was really funny. Don’t ya just love Robin Williams?" she asked Daniel. "Did you ever see ‘Cadillac Man’?"
Daniel shook his head.
"It was one of his earlier ones…quite good though… Max, I’ve just remembered another one we both saw…The Beautician and the Beast."
"Oh yes, the actress in that was a real knock-out! The male lead was terribly mis-cast, though I thought" said Max.
"Yeah. You know who would have been perfect for that role?" asked Fran.
"SHANE DONVAN" groaned everyone in unison.
"Alright, alright!" said Fran, "but it’s not like I’m the only one here who watches soaps!" She glanced meaningfully at Niles and C.C.
C.C. and Niles looked at each other, "PAPA MORTE!!" they both cried and proceeded to act out a grief parody, hugging each other.
Suddenly remembering their guest, they both straightened up. "Sorry about that…a private joke" Niles said to Daniel, a little sheepishly.
"I won’t ask!" declared Daniel. "I presume it means you two are television watchers as well?"
"I watch a little" admitted C.C. "although, many of the shows I’ve liked are now finished. ‘L.A. Law’ I used to enjoy, and that cop programme ‘Hunter’ was really good!"
"I didn’t know you watched that!" exclaimed Niles, pleased, as always, to find something else they had in common. "I never missed it, that blonde in it was a real babe!"
"She would have been too much woman for you Niles" teased C.C.
"Oh I don’t know…I think I could have shown her a thing or two!"
"In your dreams Butler Boy…in your dreams" chuckled C.C.
"Let’s see… what else do I watch?" mused Niles, remembering Daniel’s question. "I quite like ‘The Practice’ and I do have to admit to watching ‘Star Trek TNG’
"Good choice!" responded Daniel "I’m a bit of a Trekkie myself!"
"Daniel, what was the name of the show you were in?" inquired Fran "I don’t think I could have actually seen it. I must have just seen promos or something."
"Oh…it was called ‘The Nanny’, have any of you seen it?" he asked, looking around the table. They looked at each other, shrugged and shook their heads. "It was quite a good show, if I do say so myself. Unfortunately, like many good shows, it has now been retired to life on the net, kept alive only by fan pages and fan fiction!"
"Fan Fiction! What’s that?" asked Fran.
"It’s a forum where fans of a show can submit their own ideas for story lines" explained Daniel.
"That’s really….odd!" C.C. decided.
"Hmm…I supposed it is a bit," said Daniel "but it’s also quite flattering, in a way, to the stars and producers of the show. And…I guess it also shows that the Network pulled the plug on it a little too early!"
"What kind of people would write such things?" said C.C., still a little surprised and blown away by the concept.
"Well, from what I’ve seen, the vast majority of them are extremely well written and show that there’s a lot of talent out there. On the other hand, some of them are a bit…..strange and twisted."
The remainder of the evening passed in a similar relaxed, light-hearted manner. However, as the hour drew late Daniel, despite the fact that he was having a good time, realised it was time for him to take his leave. "Early morning rehearsals" he explained regretfully. Good-nights were exchanged and promises to come and see his play were extracted. Then he was gone!
Later that night, Niles and C.C. were sleepily cuddling in bed. "I still can’t believe I’ve just had dinner with Daniel Davis!" Niles was saying.
"I thought you’d enjoy our little surprise" yawned C.C.
"It’s too bad that you couldn’t sign him for your sit-com."
"Maybe it’s for the best."
"Why’s that?"
"Well, we offered him the role of the supporting actor in the show, I actually think he’s too good an actor for that, I think he really should be the male lead in his own show!"
"You won’t get any argument from me on that" said Niles, drowsily.
They lapsed into a comfortable silence and Niles soon fell asleep. C.C., however, was still thinking about one of the revelations from the dinner conversation, "Fan fiction! Who’d have ever thought?" she murmured to herself, before joining her husband in dreamland.
The End
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