As this is a cross-over story, I guess I'm twice as vulnerable to any law-suits! So, I say to both 'The Nanny' people and 'The Practice' people…Please, please, please don't sue me! I can't afford it!
To Nel, thanks for all the assistance. You're awesome! To Sabine F., Please accept this story as a 'Welcome Home' gift. Hope you enjoyed your holiday!
by
Maxie
(maxie_s@hotmail.com)
Bobby Donnell took his seat in the courtroom. He gave his client a reassuring smile, hoping it was more convincing than it felt. Although he was totally certain of the man’s innocence, he had a bad feeling in his gut about this one.
Across the room from him, Helen Gamble was also nervous. She knew she had a strong case but she was always wary when going up against Bobby. ‘Damn he was a good lawyer!’ She’d lost many cases to him in recent times and she was eager to begin evening the ledger and regain some credibility.
At the back of the room, Fran and Max Sheffield exchanged concerned looks. They were still finding it hard to comprehend how their good friend had become embroiled in such a nightmare. They looked over to CC Babcock, sitting on the opposite side of the aisle to them. She had an impassive look on her face, the same look she’d worn almost constantly since this whole ordeal had begun. Whatever she was feeling, she certainly wasn’t going to be sharing with them anytime soon.
Everybody was broken out of their respective musings by the arrival of the Court Clerk. "All rise!’" he instructed. The sound of scraping chairs and shuffling feet filled the air as everyone obeyed. They stood quietly as the jury filed in and took their seats. A diverse bunch, reflecting the multicultural flavour of New York City, they were followed in by the judge who walked to his bench and sat.
"You may be seated," announced the Clerk finally. More scraping and shuffling.
"Good Morning ladies and gentlemen. I’m Judge Wolfe and I’ll be presiding over this case. Case Number 30526, in the matter of the State of New York versus Mr Niles….."
"Excuse me Your Honour!" Bobby jumped up from his seat.
The judge heaved a sigh, used to Bobby’s shenanigans. "Mr Donnell!" he said, with exaggerated patience, "Couldn’t you at least wait until I’ve finished announcing the case before starting your antics?"
"That’s just it, Your Honour! It’s about the way you announce it that I need to talk to you about. Er..may I approach the bench?"
Resigned to the inevitable, the judge sighed again and motioned him forward. He extended the same courtesy to Helen, as per protocol.
"Bobby what are you trying to pull now?" hissed Helen, once they were situated in front of the bench.
"Hey, I’m not trying to pull anything!" Bobby held up his hands in defence. "I’ve been instructed by my client to request that his full name be keep out official proceedings."
"That’s ridiculous!" snapped Helen. "The man was granted name suppression during depositions, he can’t expect any more than that!"
"The last time I looked, Ms Gamble, I was the judge here!" responded Judge Wolfe. He turned to Bobby, "Although, Mr Donnell, she does have a point. Surely name suppression is adequate?"
"Look, the guy is really sensitive about his last name. He has friends and colleges present in the courtroom and he doesn’t want them to find out what it is. Frankly, I think the court should grant his request. After all, in this country, a person is innocent until proven guilty, so unless he is convicted, surely he has the right to his privacy, at least as much as we can achieve given the circumstances!"
"This is crazy!" reiterated Helen. "What is the man’s damned name anyway?" Realising she didn’t actually know it, she quickly scanned through her papers searching for it. When she finally spotted it, written in very small print at the bottom of a page, her eyes widened. "Yikes! …er…The Prosecution withdraws its objection!" she said hastily.
"I quite agree!" said Judge Wolfe, having also just looked down at Niles’ surname. He waved Helen and Bobby back to their seats. "Let the record show that during the course of this trial the defendant is to simply be referred to as ‘Niles’!" he ordered.
Niles let out as sigh of relief as a surprised murmur went around the room. Sitting at the back of the room, CC silently cursed. ‘Damn! Foiled again!’
The judge resumed his opening address. "Case Number 30526, the matter of The State of New York versus…Niles. The charge is First degree Murder." He turned his head towards Niles, "Niles, you have been charged with the murder of Mr Joseph Loons, how do you plead?"
Visibly trembling, Niles got to his feet. "Not Guilty, Your Honour!" He returned to his seat as the judge officially recorded his plea.
Judge Wolfe then waved his arm towards Helen, indicating he was ready to hear her opening remarks. Helen drew a deep breath and confidently approached the jury. "Good morning Ladies and Gentlemen, my name’s Helen Gamble and I’m a prosecutor for the State Attorney’s Office. During this case I will be presenting evidence showing that on the morning of 18th January 2001, the defendant did wilfully and fatally strike the deceased, Mr Joseph Loons, also known as ‘Crazy Joe’ with a single blow to the back of his head. I will establish motive by outlining the acrimonious relationship which existed between the defendant and the deceased. In addition to this I will place the defendant at the scene with the murder weapon." Not wishing to play her hand too early, she decided to leave it at that.
She’d barely sat down before Bobby was on his feet addressing the jury. "Morning Everyone." He flashed his killer grin. As the women jurists swooned, Helen inwardly groaned, knowing she lost a little ground every time he did that. "I’m Bobby Donnell, representing the defendant. The case against him consists of purely circumstantial evidence, as I will prove. He is a law-abiding, up-standing citizen…."
He was interrupted by a sudden, derisive snort from the back of the room. CC looked up to find herself the focus of everybody’s attention. "Sorry," she mumbled.
"….whose only crime was to be in the wrong place at the wrong time." Bobby said, continuing on as if the interruption hadn’t occurred. "You will hear from acquaintances who will attest to his good character and I’m sure you will come to share my belief in his innocence." He walked back to his chair, sending CC a murderous glare.
"Thank-you," said Judge Wolfe, "Ms Gamble, you may call your first witness."
Helen rose. "The State calls Detective David Michaels," she announced. People shifted restlessly in their seats as the detective took the stand and was duly sworn in. "Detective Michaels, could you please relate, for the court, the events of the night in question?"
Detective Michaels took out his notebook and began flipping through the pages, stopping once he’d reached the right one. "At 2.17am on the 18th January 2001, we received a call regarding an incident at 407East 86th Street. On our arrival at the scene, we found the victim, identified to us at the time as ‘Crazy Joe’, lying in a pool of blood, outside the apartment of a Miss CC Babcock. There was a brass fire-poker lying beside the body. The occupants of the surrounding apartments were gathered around and were holding the defendant…er ..Niles. Questioning of these neighbours revealed they had caught him red-handed standing over the body holding the weapon. A search of his acquaintance’s (Ms Babcock) apartment showed a fire-poker missing from the premises, as a result he was arrested and charged with murder."
"Thank-you. Mr Michaels." Helen said politely. "I have no further questions, Your Honour."
As soon as the judge had given him permission to cross-examine, Bobby was on his feet. "Detective Michaels, did any of the of the neighbours indicate in the statements they gave that they actually saw the accused strike the deceased?"
"No, they didn’t."
"Thank-you! Nothing further, Your Honour."
The next witness called by the prosecution was a forensic pathologist. Her testimony was pretty standard. Tests had conclusively proved that Joseph Loons had died instantly as a result of a single blow to the skull from the brass fire-poker. The blood on the poker matched that of the victim’s. Finger print analysis revealed many prints including Niles’. Bobby was able to establish that there was no conclusive evidence that it was Niles who dealt the fatal blow.
Helen’s final witness was one of CC’s neighbours, Mrs Rose Macmillan. As she took the stand, CC inwardly groaned. The woman was an insufferable bore, just a few weeks ago she’d turned up on her doorstep for a gossip. It had taken CC half an hour to get rid of her.
"Mrs Macmillan," addressed Helen, "according to your police statement you were the first on the scene. Could you please tell the court what you saw?"
"Oh, it was simply terrible!" exclaimed the middle-aged woman, the fevered look in her eyes indicting just how much she was enjoying her five minutes of fame. "I was woken by this blood-curdling scream. I jumped out of bed, threw on my slippers and ran to the door. When I opened the door I saw him." She pointed across to Niles. "He was crouched over that poor man holding a poker. There was blood everywhere!"
"Had you ever seen the defendant before?" probed Helen.
"Oh yes! He’d visited Miss Babcock previously, I always knew when he arrived because I would hear him arguing with Crazy J…er…Mr Loons!"
"Do you know what they argued about?"
"Well, Mr Loons wasn’t a well man. You know..up here," She tapped her fingers to her forehead. "He was extremely paranoid. He used to get it into his head that the neighbours were stealing from him or were going to hurt him, that sort of thing. Mostly we ignored him, but Miss Babcock and the defendant used to fight with him."
"Thank-you Mrs Macmillan." Helen threw Bobby a smug look as she walked back to her seat.
Bobby took over questioning the woman. "Mrs Macmillan, how much time passed from the time you awoke until you opened your door?"
"I don’t know exactly, a minute, a minute and a half I guess."
"During that time, did you hear anything else? Footsteps running away?"
"No."
"But there would have been time for somebody else to leave the scene before you opened the door?"
"I suppose so." She said, reluctantly.
"Thank-you. That will be all." Bobby smiled at Helen as he sat down.
Mrs Macmillan wasn’t ready to relinquish her place in the spotlight. "It was awful. All that blood, it was everywhere. It got all over my favourite top."
"You may step down Mrs Macmillan," said Judge Wolfe.
Finally, the woman exited the witness box. Helen informed the judge that the Prosecution rested its case.
"Very well. Mr Donnell, you may call your first witness," ordered the Judge.
"The defence would like to call upon Maxwell Sheffield," announced Bobby as he stood.
An excited whisper went around the room as the Broadway producer took the stand. He touched his hand to the offered bible and faithfully repeated the words recited to him.
"Mr Sheffield. How long have you known the defendant?" asked Bobby.
"All my life. His father was my parent’s butler and for the last twenty years Niles has been my butler. He also my best friend." He smiled at Niles as he said this last part. Niles smiled gratefully back.
"On the night in question, you had reason to send him on an errand to your business partner’s house?"
"Well, sort of. CC had accidentally left some papers behind in our office. I knew she needed them so I asked Niles to arrange for them to be couriered over. However, he said that it would be safer if he took them to her himself."
CC’s head snapped up at this piece of information. Surprised to learn that Niles was there that night of his own volition.
"What time was this?" inquired Bobby.
"It was getting late, about 11pm" admitted Max. "I remember because I was surprised when Niles went and showered and changed before going over there."
"So he was in a good mood when he left? He wasn’t angry about having to go out so late at night?"
"No, not at all. As I said, it was his idea that he go over."
"Thank-you."
Helen began her interrogation. "Mr Sheffield, would you say that Niles is a hard-working employee? Reliable? Honest?"
Max couldn’t help but chuckle at the thought of Niles fitting into ANY of those categories. "Good God no!" he exclaimed. "The second my back is turned he sits down and puts his feet up. He regularly helps himself to my brandy and cigars. Reliable? The only thing I rely on him for is to be listening at the door to my private conversations." He really started to warm up. "Why, I remember one time he starting organising tours. Charging people to come through the house, claiming it once belonged to Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis!" With each word, Niles began slinking lower and lower into his seat.
"Thank-you, that will be all!" Helen smirked triumphantly at him.
Max was left sitting, gaping like a goldfish as he realised his attempt at humour was going to stand as testimony against Niles. He turned desperately to the judge. "That’s not what I meant. I…"
The judge cut him off. "You may stand down now!" he instructed.
Horrified, Max did as he was told, sending Niles an apologetic glance. He sat back in his seat at the back of the room and received a well-deserved arm slapping from his wife.
"Your next witness?" Judge Wolfe said to Bobby.
"We’d like to call Miss CC Babcock."
As CC made her way to the stand, Bobby addressed the Judge. "The Defence would like to have this witness declared hostile," he stated.
"Why? Is she here under duress?"
"Er…No…we just find her to be generally hostile," explained Bobby.
Judge Wolfe frowned in confusion. He turned towards CC. "Miss Babcock, are you testifying against your own wishes?" He asked her as she sat down.
"What’s it to you?" snapped CC.
"Ahhh!" drawled the judge as the light dawned. "Fair enough! Hostile she is!" he declared to Bobby.
He turned back to CC who had been sworn in while this was going on. "Miss Babcock, could you please state your full name for the court?"
"No! I definitely will not!" Seeing the Judge’s raised eyebrow, CC hurried on. "If HE..," she pointed to Niles, "doesn’t have to give his whole name, then I shouldn’t have to give mine!"
Judge Wolfe sighed impatiently, knowing he should force the issue but he had a feeling it might be wiser to pick his battles with this one. "Okay, I’ll allow that one…for now" he added.
Satisfied, CC grinned triumphantly at Niles. In retaliation, Niles pursed his lips and made mocking kissy-kissy faces at her. Incensed, CC glared daggers at him.
Their silent battle was interrupted by Bobby, posing his first question to CC. "Miss Babcock, could you please state the nature of your relationship to the accused?"
"We have no relationship!" she spat empathetically. "He is my business partner’s butler. Pure and simple….no wait! Drop the pure!" she cackled, as the rest of the room frowned in confusion.
Bobby’s next question quickly sobered her up. "Could you tell the court the events leading up to the incident on the night in question?"
CC hesitated as she picked her words carefully, wanting to reveal as little as possible about that night. "Niles arrived at my place with the papers a little before 11.30pm. I opened the door to find him having his customary fight with Crazy Joe, after a few minutes he came inside. We got talking and then we were interrupted by a loud scream. Niles dashed outside immediately to see what was wrong. By the time I got out there, Crazy Joe was dead and my neighbours were detaining Niles."
"So, you’re saying he was with you at the time the screaming occurred?" clarified Bobby.
"Yes."
"No further questions Your Honour."
"Miss Babcock, What exactly did you mean by ‘his customary fight with Crazy Joe’?" asked Helen, resuming her role.
"Look, the man was loony tunes!" CC said bluntly. "He firmly believed I was a high class hooker…don’t you say a word!…" CC quickly shot a look at Niles, who had indeed just opened his mouth to comment. "…and he believed Niles was my pimp"
The jury snickered.
"So they had a history?" asked Helen quickly, not wanting the jury to lose focus.
"Only in as much as he would accuse him of being there to get his share of the earnings and Niles would tell him to shut-up and get some help."
Satisfied with the results of that particular line of questioning, Helen moved on. "Miss Babcock, How long have you known the defendant?"
"About twenty years."
"And in that time, have you ever known him to be abusive? Physically violent?"
CC heaved a sigh of relief. Finally she had a sympathetic audience to hear her tale of woe. "All the time! He never stops!"
The jury gasped in horror and immediately altered their, until then, positive opinion of the seemingly nice man sitting across from them.
"Could you elaborate on that?" Helen seized gleefully on CC remarks. "Are you saying he HITS you?"
"No, of course not!" said CC, momentarily indignant that she would even suggest such a thing. "I was referring to all the mean little things he does." She turned to face the jury. "He sets traps for me you know! Waxes floors so I slip on them, polishes furniture so I slide off it, drops fruit on the floor so I flip through the air after stepping on it, closes doors as I’m walking through them…" she trailed off as she realised the jurists were beginning to chuckle at her misfortune. "It’s not funny!" she cried, petulantly. "You have no idea what I have to put up with."
The jury started laughing even harder at her tone. Across the floor, a ghost of a smirk touched Niles’ face. To his credit, he steadfastly kept his eyes downcast.
"Thank-you Miss Babcock, that will be all," said Helen, deciding to end the testimony, unable to work out if it was helping or hindering her case.
CC scowled at the jury before vacating the witness box and huffing her way back to her seat.
Bobby rose and paused for a moment ensuring that the jury redirected their attention back to him "The Defence calls Niles, the accused to the stand."
A frenzied bout of whispers and murmurs broke out as Niles approached the stand. He swallowed audibly before reciting the oath and preparing to fight for his freedom.
"Niles," began Bobby affably, as if he was chatting to his closest friend rather than an accused murderer, "what happened that night?"
"Well, it was like Miss Babcock said. We were talking…" At the back of the court, CC silently heaved a sigh of relief that he was going to abbreviate the facts as she had. "….and then we heard this almighty scream. I ran out into the hallway outside and found Crazy Joe lying on the ground. Dead….as a doornail!"
"As a what?"
"A doornail." Niles shrugged, "I don’t know! I never understood that one either! Although I suppose, when you think about it, the nails in a door probably don’t have a lot of life in them…" he mused.
"Objection! The man is babbling!" interrupted Helen.
"Sustained. Let’s stick to the subject here!" ordered Judge Wolfe.
"Sorry Your Honour," responded Bobby, suitably chastised. He turned back towards Niles. "What happened after you saw the body lying in the hall?"
"I knelt beside him and felt for a pulse. There wasn’t one."
"What about the poker? Was it the one from Miss Babcock’s apartment? If so, why were you holding it?" questioned Bobby.
"We had noticed earlier that the poker was missing from Miss Babcock’s apartment. It was lying beside the body, I stupidly picked it up when I knelt down," explained Niles.
"Thank-you." Bobby indicated to Helen that he was through.
"Niles," said Helen, using a firmer tone with him than Bobby had, "We heard in this court today that you have a history of violent behaviour towards Miss Babcock. Could you please explain that?"
Niles wrestled with his answer. The angel perched on his right shoulder told him that the logical thing to do would be to explain about his affectionate squabbling with CC. It would be the best thing he could do for himself under the circumstances. However, the devil sitting on his left shoulder kept telling him this was an opportunity to put one over on CC. After all, she hadn’t exactly done him any favours while on the stand!
As usual the devil won. Niles turned to the jury with a mischievous glint in his eye. "Miss Babcock…" He raised his cupped right fingers to his mouth and imitated a tipping motion. "…drinks!"
Enraged, CC leapt to her feet. "That’s a stinking lie!" she screamed "And you know it!"
"Come on Babcock! We both know you could drink the entire United States Navy under the table," retorted Niles.
"Why you…you…toad!"
"Trollop!"
"Cloven Hoof!"
As the two fell into one of their familiar sparring matches, those present watched with unabashed fascination. Heads swivelled to and fro between them as if people were watching a tennis match.
Except, of course, for Fran and Max. Having heard it all before, Max stretched back, folded his arms behind his head and looked up to the ceiling. He idly wondered which tie he should wear to the Annual Broadway Producer’s Luncheon the following weekend. Blue one? Green silk one? Which would Andrew Lloyd Webber choose?… Beside him, Fran stifled a yawn as she rummaged through her handbag. She withdrew a nail-file and proceeded to give herself a manicure. She stopped periodically to hold her hand out in front of herself to monitor her progress.
"Hussy!"
"Maid!"
"Brunette!"
Judge Wolfe, who had been regarding the commotion along with everybody else, suddenly remembered his job. He picked up his gavel and began hammering furiously. "Order! Order!"
The duelling duo ceased their fight as attention shifted back to the judge. Realising he’d lost the thread of the questioning, the judge turned to the court stenographer sitting in the corner. "Ms Beauchamp, could you please read back the last ten minutes of conversation?"
Timidly, the woman rose to her feet. Although only in her early thirties, she wore a beige business suit with her hair tied back into a severe tight bun, this combined to give her a prim and proper appearance and made her seem much older than her years. However, unbeknownst to her work colleges, she was also an aspiring actress who realised this might be her one and only chance of coming to the attention of a Broadway producer. Getting nervously to her feet, she hesitantly looked down and began reciting the words in front of her, speaking in a slow, monotonous voice, "Come on Babcock we both know you could drink the…" Looking up, she could sense the restlessness of her audience as they came crashing down from the high crest provided by the dramatics of Niles and CC.
She knew this performance wouldn’t even make an impression on the court janitor, let alone Maxwell Sheffield! She had to do something, but what? Suddenly inspiration hit. She stepped out from behind her desk and began moving towards the jury, pulling the hair-tie from her head and unbuttoning the top two buttons of her blouse as she walked. She came to a rest beside Niles in the witness box. She looked directly at CC. "Trollop!" she spat.
CC eyebrows shot skywards.
Realising what she was trying to do, Niles jumped to his feet. "No, no. That’s not right. You have to put more ‘oomph’ into it. Like this…" He paused for a moment before looking CC squarely in the eye, "Trollop!"
"Trollop!" the stenographer tried again.
"That’s a lot better," complimented Niles. "But there’s still not enough feeling behind it. Remember… you have to make out as if you really loathe this woman!"
"Trollop!" screamed the woman, putting her heart and sole into it.
"Perfect," beamed Niles as he sat down again. "Just perfect! I couldn’t have done better myself."
Encouraged, she then scurried over to where CC was standing and turned to face Niles. "Cloven Hoof!" she hissed, attempting to mimic CC. She looked at Niles, seeking his approval.
Niles frowned and shook his head.
CC decided to help her out. "You’re too high, and it’s not snappy enough!" she explained, slipping her arm around the woman, "Listen to the way I do it." CC drew a breath and hissed at Niles "Cloven Hoof! ….You see? Low and snappy. Also, don’t forget your motivation. Look at him, he’s a vile little man who has just humiliated you. You’ve got to make this zinger a good one!" CC glanced up at Niles to make sure she was explaining it correctly. He nodded to her.
"Cloven Hoof!" shouted the woman, following CC’s instructions to the letter.
CC gave her an approving thumbs-up and sat down.
Emboldened by this coaching from the experts, she proceeded to re-enact the pair’s entire argument word for word, as the courtroom sat in stunned silence. As she grew in confidence she became increasingly animated. Finally, she stood next to Niles and shouted his last remark. "Brunette!"
Finished, she moved into the centre of the floor and after a very brief pause, flung out her arms and bent into a deep curtsey in front of the jury. An awed silence filled the room before spontaneous, raucous applause broke out. The entire courtroom, including the lawyers and the judge, got to their feet and gave her a standing ovation. Max quickly got out a notebook and jotted down her name, realising he’d just witnessed a star in the making.
"Thank-you, Miss Beauchamp! That was great!" enthused Judge Wolfe. "And on that note, I think we will have a lunch recess. Niles, you may stand down."
The room dutifully rose as the judge and the jury filed out. After they had left, happy chatter broke out as those remaining began gathering their belongings and making their way out of the main doors in search of food. The whole air was reminiscent of an intermission break at the theatre and no one could wait to see what the second half would bring!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After lunch, Niles once more found himself in the witness box as Helen continued her cross-examination.
"Niles, why did you go to Miss Babcock’s place that night when you could have easily sent the papers by courier?"
Niles gulped, having been asked the one question he’d hoped he wouldn’t be asked. "Er…I thought it would be safer. Some of those courier outfits are notoriously unreliable." The reddening of the tips of his ears was the only indication that he wasn’t being entirely truthful.
Helen didn’t believe him for a moment. She was quiet for a minute as she tried to figure out how to get an honest answer from him.
Meanwhile, one of the woman jurists had been doing some thinking over lunch. This, combined with Niles’ evasive answer of the previous question, had her suddenly jumping to her feet. "Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold the phone! Something’s not right here!"
Judge Wolfe banged his gavel again. "Young lady! The jurists are not meant to speak out like that!"
"Sorry man…um…Your Honour, but we’re the ones who have to make the judgement. We gotta know the whole story and we aren’t getting it!"
The judge groaned to himself, wishing he’d chosen to stay in bed that day. He’d lost control of this case the moment he had allowed the defendant to hide his last name. "Very well," he sighed. "What is it you want to know?"
"Well, these two…" She motioned to Niles and CC, "…would have us believe they hate each other, but he goes voluntarily over to her place that night. We find out he has a long running feud with her neighbour, so obviously it’s not the first time he been there, AND he was there for 3 hours, he arrived at 11.30pm and the police were called at 2.17am.!
"What are you getting at?" asked a male jurist sitting next to her. "You think they whacked the old man together?"
"No! You stupid man! I’m saying I don’t think they hate each other at all…3 hours! What were they doing all that time?"
Speculative mutterings went around the courtroom. Niles and CC quickly snuck each other apprehensive glances. Among the general din, a distinctive, nasal voice stuck out, "Yeah, I wanna know the answer to that too!"
Judge Wolfe peered into the faces adorning the back of the room. "Who said that?" he demanded.
A female hand appeared from the crowd, slowly the woman became more visible as she stood up. The judge found himself looking at a slim, loudly dressed woman, with the biggest hair he’d ever seen! "Who are you?" he asked her.
"I’m Fran Sheffield, how are yooou?" She walked down the centre aisle and came to a stop in front of the judge, bestowing him with a winning smile.
Charmed, in spite of himself, he replied, "Sheffield? You must be connected to these people then?"
"I am. Max is my husband, Niles is my best friend and Miss Babcock….well, she’s just Miss Babcock!"
"Have you got something you would like to add to the case, Mrs Sheffield?"
I do, that is, if it wouldn’t be an imposition?" she answered, with false modesty.
"Okay then, but you’ll have to make it brief."
At this, Max snorted. All eyes turned towards him. "You’ll see!" he warned them.
The judge motioned to Niles to step down. Niles, vastly relieved at having been spared any further questioning, quickly stood aside to allow Fran to enter the stand.
"Okay Mrs Sheffield," the judge said once she was settled, "What light can you shed on the situation?"
Fran faced the jury and in a gossipy voice, started to tell her story. "Well, It all started about six years ago. I was working in a bridal shop in Flushing, Queens. When my boyfriend kicked me out in one of those crushing scenes……."
As she continued, the hands on the clock on the courtroom wall moved steadily around. Finally, after an eternity, she reached a vital point in her story.
"……we arrived home after the whole pen pal fiasco, and there they were…kissing in the living room!"
"They were kissing?!" exclaimed the same jurist who had started things along this path.
"Really going for it!" confirmed Fran. "Oy, if we’d arrived home five minutes later….."
"Wow! So, what’s going on with them now?" enquired another jurist.
"I don’t know," admitted Fran, reluctantly. "I guess you’ll have to ask them."
The jury turned inward as they whispered among themselves. Reaching a unanimous decision they faced the room again. As one they began to chant, "We want CC! We want CC! We want…" They started clapping in time to their demands.
Bobby and Helen looked at each other in total astonishment. NEVER before had they encountered anything like this in a courtroom!
Knowing she wasn’t going to get any further in presenting her case until she satisfied the jury’s desires, Helen rose and called CC back to the stand. She shrugged at Bobby who shrugged back.
Fran was dismissed from the witness box as CC was duly re-sworn in.
"Miss Babcock, it has come to the attention to this court that you may not have been fully… informative about events that night. Is this true?" asked Helen.
"Maybe," quietly replied CC, wetting her lips nervously with her tongue.
"Could you please tell us again about that night? This time not leaving anything out."
Duty bound to protect his client from possible incrimination, Bobby leapt to his feet. "Objection! Relevance?"
Judge Wolfe was annoyed by the interruption. "Mr Donnell, clearly there is no relevance here!" he sighed, waving his arm airily about. "Only interest. Isn’t that right folks?" he said to the jury, who happily murmured their agreement.
Disappointed, Bobby sat down. The judge turned to CC. "Answer the question," he ordered.
CC realised there was no escape. Falteringly, she began telling of that night. "I was in a good mood that night. Maxwell and I had earlier signed a contract for a very promising play. I wanted to celebrate. Then, Niles arrived." Instinctively, her eyes fluttered shut as her mind conjured up a picture of Niles that evening. Her voice lowered to a mere whisper. "He looked different. Not butler-like. He was wearing jeans and a dark blue sweater that bought out the colour of his eyes. He smelled simply divine…freshly showered, cologne…." The women jurists sighed in appreciation. "So, I invited him to stay for a glass of wine. For once we were being nice to each other. We sat on my sofa in front of the fire and just talked for ages. It was nice…comfortable. Eventually, the fire died down so Niles got up to tend to it. He couldn’t find the poker so he poked at it with a piece of wood, which he then added to the fire. The light of the fire bounced of his head, I’d never noticed before the different tones of blond in his hair…nor had I realised how well-formed his muscles are, I could see them rippling as he moved, piling the wood onto the fire…" CC was lost in a trance, oblivious to the existence of everybody else in the room. Niles flushed bright-red as the jury, and everyone else in the room, leaned forward in unison, straining to hear better. "….he didn’t sit down again on the sofa, he stayed on the floor, stretched out on his side lengthwise between the sofa and the fire. Wordlessly, he reached up and pulled at my hand, urging me to lie down beside him. I did. We stayed like that for ages, just staring into each other’s eyes! Slowly, he raised his hand and began tracing the side of my face with his finger. Our eyes fluttered shut. Inch by inch we drew towards each other, our lips becoming ever closer, finally his lips pressed against mine and…and…" CC’s eyes flew open as she suddenly remembered where she was. She turned scarlet. "Er…that’s when we heard the scream!"
Everybody released a loud groan of disappointment and leaned back into their seats.
Helen, pausing a moment to shake her head to clear the spell CC words had woven, approached CC again. "Earlier today when you testified, you seemed angry with Niles. Were you?"
"Yes."
"Why?" Even as she asked the question, Helen knew she had no justifiable reason for asking it, other than to satisfy her own curiosity.
Judge Wolfe glared at Bobby, daring him to object. Bobby made a key-locking motion against his lips.
CC mumbled an inaudible reply.
"Excuse me," said Helen. "I couldn’t hear that."
"Because he didn’t call me!" admitted CC indignantly.
The women in the room tsked and glared accusingly at Niles. The men winced in sympathy.
"Poor bastard!" said one of the male jurists, out of the side of his mouth, to the man sitting next to him
"Yeah, she’s gonna hold that one over him for the rest of his days!" he replied.
An elderly jurist sitting in front of them turned around. "Shush! I’m trying to hear!" she turned back and adjusted the volume on her hearing-aid to the highest setting.
Defensively Niles got to his feet. "You foolish woman!" he yelled at CC. "In case it escaped your attention, I got arrested for murder. I was in jail!"
"You still should have called!" argued CC, unreasonably.
"I only had one call. I phoned my lawyer! Besides, you were the one who blew me off, when I tried to talk to you, after I made bail."
"That’s because you didn’t call!"
"I WAS IN JAIL!! …If I hadn’t have been in jail, of course, I would have called you!"
"Really?"
"Really!"
"Oh," said CC in a small voice, realising she had been being very silly.
Helen moved in for the kill. "Miss Babcock, how do you feel about Niles?"
CC sent a pleading look to the judge. "May I take the fifth?" she begged.
"No, Miss Babcock you can’t! And, may I remind you, you’re under oath. If you don’t answer, I’ll hold you in contempt of court!"
"Let me rephrase the question," said Helen helpfully. "Are you in love with Niles?"
Out of options, CC had no choice but to answer. "Yes!" she hissed, through clenched teeth. "I love him!"
She screwed her eyes shut, waiting to hear Niles’ derisive laughter. However, all she heard was the collective happy sighs of the jury. She opened one eye to sneak a peek at Niles. She opened her other eye when she saw that Niles was staring at her with a shocked but joyful expression. They stared at each other in amazement.
"Niles?" interrupted Judge Wolfe, "Do you have anything to say to Miss Babcock? Or am I going to have to summons you back to the stand as well?"
"No, Your Honour! ..I mean… Yes, Your Honour! ..er…oh crap!…I love her too!" he finally blurted.
The courtroom went crazy! Hoorahs and high-fives all round. Such was the noise, no one heard the solid thump of Fran Sheffield, hitting the floor in a dead faint.
Amid the ruckus, Niles and CC jumped out off their respective seats and headed towards each other. They met in the middle of the empty floor and, without any hesitation, melded into a passionate embrace.
This brought forward another round of cheering from the spectators. Many of the men wolf-whistled, as the women searched their hand-bags for tissues to dab their eyes.
"You go Girl!" shouted one of the female jurists.
However, as the embrace showed no signs of ending, and indeed seemed to become even deeper, the cheers became silence, which then became uneasy seat shifting and throat clearing.
"Yikes!"
"Take it outside!"
"Get a room!"
The only sound that finally penetrated was constant banging of the judge’s gavel. The couple sprung apart like fighting dogs, suddenly doused with cold water.
"Everybody take your seats!" the judge instructed.
As everyone did as he asked, CC became unsure of where to go. Back to the witness box or back to her original spot? Niles solved her dilemma by dragging her with him. He sat down and settled her on his lap. They quickly began kissing again. Helen, seeing this, opened her mouth to protest. The jury narrowed their eyes at her. Hurriedly she snapped her mouth closed.
While this silent battle was being waged, Bobby was scanning over his case notes. Suddenly he spotted an anomaly he hadn’t realised before. Urgently he tugged at CC’s sleeve. Reluctantly, she pulled herself away from Niles’ probing tongue to look at him.
"Has Mrs Macmillan been in your apartment recently?" Bobby whispered to her. "Could she have taken your poker?"
"I guess so!" CC whispered back. "She popped in for a chat a few days before the murder. Took me ages to get rid of her. She could have taken it. Why?"
Bobby showed them the now underlined facts he’d discovered. Niles and CC looked at Bobby and began nodding furiously. "Do it!"
Bobby stood up to address the judge. "The Defence would like to recall Mrs Rose Macmillan back to the stand," he announced.
Judge Wolfe eagerly granted his request, as he himself had absolutely no idea where to proceed from there.
An apprehensive Mrs Macmillan returned to the stand. Bobby smiled deceptively at her as he approached her. "Mrs Macmillan, you testified that you were woken up by the screaming didn’t you?"
"Yes, I did."
"And yet your parting comment from the witness box this morning was that you had gotten the victim’s blood over your favourite top! Could you explain this?"
She bit her bottom lip, realising she’d made a big mistake. "I fell asleep in my clothes." She finally said, unconvincingly.
Bobby gave her a disbelieving look but didn’t press the issue. "How well did you know the victim? Were you friends?"
"No! We weren’t friends. The man was as nutty as a fruitcake! He used to call me a whore and then ring my friends, telling them the same thing." At last, Mrs Macmillan snapped. "I’m glad he’s dead! He deserved it! I only wish that I’d done it sooner!" Too late, she clapped her hand over her mouth.
Pandemonium erupted in the courtroom, everybody expressing surprise at the same time. Once more, Judge Wolfe regained control via his gavel. "Quiet!" he ordered. "Bailiff, take this woman into custody!"
After Mrs Macmillan had been removed, the judge turned back towards Niles. "In the light of this new evidence, all charges against you are now dropped. Niles, you are free to go!" he then faced the jury. "Thank-you all for your service and an unforgettable day. You are now dismissed."
Not for the first time that day, cheering broke out among all those present. Everybody found themselves hugging the person next to them. It was similar to a New Years Eve party and fireworks certainly would not have been out of place!
Suddenly it occurred to everyone that it was over! Although pleased with the outcome, they didn’t really want to go yet. Grumbling about the unexpectedly early ending, people began gathering their belongings and making their way to the doors.
While this was happening, Niles leaned over to make a request of Bobby. He nodded to Niles and stood up.
"Excuse me, Your Honour!" As Bobby’s voice cut across the room. The exiting people stopped and turned as one, renewed hope on their faces.
The judge, who was about to leave by his side door, also halted and turned. "What is it, Mr Donnell?"
"My client has asked me to see if you could do him a special favour….He wants to get married!"
"What…now?"
"Now!" confirmed Bobby.
The judge consulted his watch. He did have time he realised. "Sure, why not?" He walked back to his bench.
An ecstatic crowd quickly reassembled their seats, as a hastily arranged wedding party was formed. CC and Niles stood in front Judge Wolfe surrounded by Fran, Max, Helen and Bobby.
"We are gathered here to witness the marriage of Mr Niles…." The judge paused to allow Niles the opportunity to supply his surname. Niles smiled knowingly at him and resolutely shook his head. "…and Miss…" CC also shook her head. "CC Babcock. Does any one have any objections?"
Fran briefly considered rescuing her dearest friend from this fate but judging by the smitten look on his dial he didn’t want her interference.
"Niles, do you take this woman to be your wife?" continued Judge Wolfe.
"It’s unbelievable, but…I do!"
"And CC, do you take this man as your husband?"
"I definitely need to get my head examined, but….I do!"
Sighs and sniffles could be heard throughout the room.
"Niles, do you have a ring to give to your bride?"
Niles looked at the judge in astonishment. "Oh darn! On my way in to court to face a murder charge, I clean forgot to stop and buy a wedding ring!" he said, somewhat sarcastically.
"Oh…right," muttered the judge.
Meanwhile, CC was eying the wedding band on Fran’s finger.
"Oh no you don’t!" said Fran, backing away. "It took me six years to get this thing on my finger and I’m not letting anybody take it off. Least of all you!"
"But Nanny Fine!" cooed CC, slowly following her retreating footsteps. "Why, we’re practically sisters!"
"Huh?" Fran was so distracted by the outrageousness of that statement, that she wasn’t prepared when CC lunged at her arm.
CC quickly spun around and trapped Fran’s hand under her armpit. She began wrenching the ring of her finger. Fran was strong but CC was the more determined. "Ah! Success!" she cried, triumphantly holding up the ring. She walked back to Niles, gave him the ring and invitingly held her hand out in front of him.
Fran sulkily went back and stood beside Max, sucking on her reddening finger.
"CC, I give you this ring as a sign of my eternal love…. and so that you will have to actually admit to people that we’re married!" Niles grinned, impishly.
"By the power invested in me by the state of New York, I now declare you, husband and wife!" Judge Wolfe checked his watch, "Sorry folks, I’ve got to run." He quickly left the room. Ten seconds later he stuck his head back through the door. "Oh, you may now kiss your wife!"
Niles tenderly cupped CC’s face in his hands. "I love you," he whispered.
"I love you too," she whispered back.
They kissed.
They were interrupted by the sound of one of the male jurists loudly blowing his nose. "Er…sinuses!" he explained, indicating to his reddened eyes. He glared around, daring anyone to argue with him.
Laughter broke out and this seemed to indicate that the party was over. This time, people happily picked up their things and filed out of the courtroom.
Eventually, Niles and CC were left alone.
"Wow! What a day, eh?"
"You can say that again, Butlerboy."
"Do you know what’s funny?" he said, taking her hand as they walked slowly to the double doors, "I came in here today thinking I might get life in prison or maybe even the death penalty…I never thought I’d be sentenced to something as horrible as life with you!"
"I don’t know what you’re complaining about. I wasn’t even accused of anything and look at the stiff sentence I got! …At least, I hope it’s a stiff sentence!" she said saucily, flicking her eyes downwards over him.
Niles laughed and nudged her shoulder with his. "Come on, lets go home and I’ll show you."
They were walking towards the elevator, when CC suddenly stopped. "Home? Niles we don’t have a home! I’m not moving into that box you call a room!"
"Well, I’m not moving into that igloo you call an apartment!"
"You weren’t complaining about the cold there a couple of weeks ago!"
"That’s because I was there to warm it up!"
They stepped into the elevator.
"Big head!"
"Ice maiden!"
The elevator doors closed behind the arguing couple.
The End
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