by
Aimee
(aimeed@earthlink.net)
"Niles, it's so sweet of you to help us out while Geoffrey is on vacation," Fran said, smiling at Niles over her coffee cup. "He's a great butler, but he isn't you."
"My pleasure. This way I can keep an eye on my little brood mare while she works and see that her feedbag isn't full of sweets." Niles grinned at the thought of his wife just beginning to waddle through her second trimester.
Fran laughed, for once feeling sympathy for the beleaguered CC. "Believe me, Niles, you should let her have her sweets. It'll keep her mood just as sugary. I know -- I was there not so long ago." Fran reached over and stroked the wisps of dark hair curling over Jonah's brow as he sat on the table in a baby chair next to Evie.
A look of palpable longing crossed Niles' face. "In only a few months, I'll be able to do that to my little girl," he said with awe. "I still can't believe it all. Every time Babcock walks in the room, I still expect to feel her wrath."
"But isn't it more fun feeling everything else?" teased Fran.
Niles grinned. But just as he was about to speak, the door slammed open.
"Fran, incoming!" came CC's voice, just before she appeared.
"Thanks for the warning," Niles and Fran said at the same time.
CC glared at them. "Fine. Far be it from me to make an overture of friendship by helping you protect your turf. Let Chloe Simpson have Maxwell for all I care!"
"Chloe Simpson!" gasped Niles and Fran in dismay, rising to their feet and surrounding CC.
CC gazed from one shocked face to the other, satisfied with the dramatic impact of her announcement. "You heard me. The barracuda is dropping in for a visit. It seems one of the stars of our show is a former Simpson Agency model and Chloe is in town to say hello."
"Hello? More like 'oh hell!'" replied Fran. "Does Max know? Maybe I can just get him out of town."
"He knows," CC assured her. She assumed a pose, nose in the air and hand on her hip. "'Maxwell, dahling,'" she sniffed, "'I'm going to be in Cally-poo for a few days, and I'm simply dying to see you. Do say little Chloe can stop by to say kiss-kiss!'"
Niles snorted with laughter.
Fran glared at him, and he stifled it with a cough. "Oy," she muttered. "I'm gonna give that Chloe Simpson a slap in the kiss-kiss she'll never forget! But first I'm gonna pack our bags and get that man outta here!"
CC and Niles smiled at each other, amused, and then he said, "No, Fran, you've got to face this. Let her come. He loves you now, and he'll never want her. Look at us. Babcock and I hated each other for years, but now we're inseparable."
"Joined at the hips," CC chimed in happily.
Niles shot her a sexy grin before he continued. "If we can survive each other, you can survive Chloe Simpson. You've got to give Maxwell the chance to prove himself, or you'll always have to wonder."
"I agree," CC assured her.
"Why?" Fran asked suspiciously.
"Because Niles says so," CC replied adoringly. "Besides, when the hair pulling and mud wrestling starts, I wanna watch you and Chloe slaughter each other."
Somehow, as CC's trademark naughty laughter trailed away, Fran didn't feel much better.
It didn't help that as Fran left the kitchen with Jonah and Evie, she heard CC say, "Boy am I glad there's no Chloe Simpson in your past!"
"Me, too!" Niles agreed fervently.
Chloe looked awful. The years had ravaged her, turning her red hair into a brassy, tarnished mop streaked with iron-gray. Her breasts were near neighbors to her belly-button, and spider veins stood out like road maps on the once-famous legs.
Maxwell gasped in horror, the blood draining from his face. "Chloe!" came the grief-stricken wail, as his beautiful ex-love stood smirking and posing as though she were still sexy and seventeen.
"No -- no!" cried Maxwell, spinning away and falling into Fran's arms. "Get this-thing away from me!"
Fran smirked in triumph at her vanquished enemy --
And woke up.
Chloe looked gorgeous. Her long red hair still tumbled to her shoulders, framing a strong, delicate face. The smooth, creamy skin of her throat descended into the deep V of her neckline and the intriguing shadows hinted at by her gown.
As Fran coldly shook her hand, she gave a sharp pinch to the skin. Chloe yelped.
"Snaps back like a rubbah band," Fran muttered to CC in disgust.
CC patted her back comfortingly.
Chloe and Max both shot Fran a strange look, then embraced briefly. He brushed a casual kiss across her cheek. Fran grabbed the fireplace poker.
CC and Niles wrestled it away from her. "Knock it off," hissed CC. "You want to drive him into her arms?"
"He kissed her," wailed Fran.
"He kisses me on the cheek all the time, do you care?" CC pointed out.
"No, but you ain't Chloe Simpson!" Fran looked her up and down. "In your advanced condition, you look more like Homer Simpson!"
"Who?" CC asked blankly. Her eyes narrowed. "Who's Homer Simpson?" she asked Niles.
He merely patted her hand reassuringly.
"Now I'm scared," CC said.
"You and me both," Fran sighed, looking at Chloe.
Dinner conversation was muted as Fran stuck a fork in Maxwell every time even glanced in Chloe's direction. Flanked by the two women, he wisely chose to remain silent.
On Chloe's other side, CC ignored her to engage in her favorite new argument with Niles.
"We are not naming our child Victoria," he roared from across the table.
"Why not?" she whined.
"Because I will not have people asking Victoria what her big secret is!" Niles retorted.
A horrified look crossed CC's face. "Can't argue with that," she admitted.
"I modeled for Victoria's Secret back in their earlier days," Chloe interjected brightly.
"Oh," Fran said sweetly. "You mean back when it was thinly disguised porn masquerading as a catalog?" Niles high-fived her under the table. Chloe subsided.
"So, back to names," CC said impatiently. "What will we call her?"
"I dunno, but it's not going to be something embarrassing, Chastity Claire."
"That wasn't my fault! Nobody asked my opinion!" CC protested.
Chloe was sick of being ignored. Didn't they realize who she was? Not only was she Chloe Simpson, but she was the great love of Maxwell's life. That mousy little Sarah he just happened to have three kids with, and this tacky Fan person were just keeping him warm for her, and it was time she made that clear.
"Maxwell, darling," she crooned, laying her hand on his arm. She watched with pleasure as he choked on his wine and Fran froze with her fork halfway to her mouth. "Do be a dear and show me the gardens outside, would you?" She flashed him that charming Chloe Simpson smile.
Maxwell gave her a blank look. "But it's all dark out there, Chloe. What on earth would we do?"
Chloe bent her fork in half in her rage when Fran added sweetly, "It'll be much more fun to stay in here and watch videos of our wedding."
It had been two days, and Maxwell should have been in her bed for at least one and a half of them, if not both, Chloe sulked. Oh, well. Maxwell was just a bit of fun to have while she pursued more important goals. Alone in his office, she picked up the telephone.
"Hello, this is Chloe Simpson," she said brusquely. "Yes, yes, I know I'm you're absolute favorite, but I need to talk to Elizabeth Hurley right away. Please put her on."
Outside the office, CC stopped dead in her tracks. Elizabeth Hurley is the star of our sitcom, what could Chloe want with her? No matter, I'll find out. I'm not married to the Big Yenta himself for nothing! CC crouched down by the keyhole and listened.
"Listen, Liz darling," Chloe oozed. "I'm leaving Cally tomorrow, love, I need your answer. Do you want to leave here and go back to London with me or not? It would be a good deal, darling, I think I can get you some very interesting roles in film that you'd never get in the US. Never mind about the sitcom, love, Maxwell adores me, he'll get over losing you if it's what little Chloe wants."
CC straightened up and smiled. Little CC wasn't half bad at getting what she wanted herself.
"She's planning to what?" roared Maxwell.
"Steal Elizabeth and get her to return to England," CC replied triumphantly. "As always, your little tart friend has got more on her mind than your body."
"Well, we'll just see about that!" scowled Maxwell. "I'm going to go talk to her right away."
"No!" CC placed a restraining hand on his arm. "She took shameless advantage of you, Maxwell. She came here with the intention of ruining not only your career as a TV producer, but your marriage as well!" CC stroked her tummy. Lately she found the action soothing. "No, this calls for something a little more . . . definitive."
Chloe decided that she really ought to give the poor darling a little something to remember her by. After all, she was absconding with his star. So that night when he was out in the garden by himself, she went to find him.
"Max, love," she said sweetly, laying her hand on his thigh. "I'm afraid you'll be horridly angry at me for leaving you yet again, so what say you to a little get-together in my room? Just for old-time's sake, hmm?"
Max smiled at her seductively. "How long I've been waiting to hear you say that, Chloe my darling," he murmured. "But let's use my bedroom . . . the bed is bigger."
"Considering your size," she purred, "We'll need it." Chloe stroked the inside of Max's thigh and leaned in for a kiss.
At the very last moment, Max murmured, his breath fanning her cheek, "Upstairs."
Giggling like children, they linked hands and ran upstairs. All was dark and silent.
"Where's Fan?" asked Chloe, trying to make a token gesture of caring.
Max smiled seductively and opened the door to the bedroom. "Right here!" he announced.
Light flooded the room. Fran lay upon the bed with her babies. Niles was pouring champagne for himself, Elizabeth Hurley, and her fiancé Hugh Grant at the side table, and CC stood at the fireplace idly watching something burn and rubbing her stomach.
"Wha -- " Chloe's face flushed with rage.
Fran grinned at her. Maxwell chivalrously helped her to her feet and took one of the babies. "Honey," Fran protested to Chloe, "Ya really shouldn't get all flushed like that, ya know. Redheads look terrible in pink."
Chloe swept past her. "Liz! Darling, I assume this is your going-away party?"
Elizabeth Hurley turned to her. "No, it's yours. I take fidelity very seriously, and I wouldn't want to work with someone who would try to break up a marriage just for her own selfish fun."
Niles looked at Hugh and seemed about to say something. CC waddled over just in time to put a restraining hand over his mouth.
"But -- but -- " Chloe sputtered. "What about our contract?"
"Don't worry," CC said sweetly. "I took care of that for you. Come here." CC linked arms companionably with Chloe and led her over to the fireplace. "See?"
Chloe began to cry in earnest as she saw the flames die on the last curling, blackened shreds of paper.
Niles moved over to them and put his arm around his wife's waist. "Sweetheart, burnt carbon paper smells awful."
"That's why I didn't burn it in our room," explained CC.
"Why didn't you just flush it down the toilet?"
"Because them my honey baby would have to scrub it out," she crooned adoringly. Niles kissed her.
Chloe turned to Max with a pathetic whimper. "Maxwell," she wailed.
"Good-bye, Chloe," he said placidly.
Chloe howled.
Fran put an arm around her comfortingly. "Don't be so sad," Fran soothed. "Ya know, we made you this videotape to remember us by. It's of our wedding, the twins' birth -- "
"How did you get a video of the birth?" CC asked with interest.
"Stole it from the hospital security camera," Fran said as if it were perfectly obvious. "I'll show you how when the kid arrives."
"Never mind the kid, that video's of my wedding!" CC lunged at it and absconded with it hastily.
So Chloe Simpson left without a star, without Max, and without even her video. There was much joy in Nannyland; the Mighty Chloe had struck out.
The End
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