All the characters used in this story are owned by Fran Drescher, Peter Marc Jacobson, High School Sweethearts…. I don't want infringe on any of those rights. Please don't sue me. I know I've written many a like stories, but they are all slightly different. The song is called You take my breath away and is by Queen. Reactions to sara_van_bussel@yahoo.com.



My Mind

by

Sara van Bussel
(sara_van_bussel@yahoo.com)




I sit in my room and I'm writing in my first diary.

Dear Diary,

I find it very hard to write down my feelings. It's because I was thaught that feelings are not good. Well just that they get in the way. It's not good for business. But over the years I got lonely. I know I have the Sheffield family, but to be honest they hate me. I seem like a cold hearted bitch, but it's the only way I know how to act with people. I'm in reality jealous of them. They are so happy, they all love each other. Maxwell loves Nanny Fine (although he doesn't admit it) and his kids. Nanny Fine loves them all, and even Niles is a part of the family. I've never really loved anyone. I like people but I don't love them. I thought I had a crush on Maxwell, but that was not true. I just like him. I know what I feel for who. That's the best way. You can't get confused. There is only one person. I don't know what I feel or do not feel for him. It's Niles. He can make my blood boil. But there's no person I know more about. I get out of bed real early to be with him as soon as possible. He's also the reason I act like I have a crush on Maxwell. He's jealous. I don't know if it's love what I feel, but I know it's something I've never felt for anybody else. I can not describe how I felt when he got that heart atack. I felt like I should have told him how I felt about him. How I still feel about him. I felt like I was going to lose my soulmate. That's it! He knows just what to do to make me feel even worse. I love him. That's hard. Not only to admit that I love someone, but also that it is Niles who I love. I'm happy that I finally found the one I love. But he would never feel the same about me. This makes me feel even wore. Niles makes me feel bad, but when he does that, he makes me feel great. Love is complicated. It's almost eight o'clock so I have to go to work. To Niles. I think I have to ask him to dinner tonight. Maybe I should look in his room when he's shopping. I just don't like not knowing what's happening. There could be something in his room that gives me a clue.

Signed,
CC Babcock.

I go to the mansion and I'm immediately welcomed by my favorite butler. I really don't want to be faced with him. I'm dressed in a dress which looks absolutly fabilous on me. I guess it works because he stares at me. I feel that I'm starting to blush so I go to the office. When I enter the office I see Nanny Fine sitting on Maxwell's lap. They're making out heavily. I clear my throat to let them know I'm there. Nanny Fine immediately jumps of of him. Like I didn't notice that they finally admitted that they love each other. Well I'm happy for them. I guess it's kinda weird that I didn't run and scream because when Nanny Fine leaves Maxwell looks really weird. He asks if I'm ok. If only he knew that I couldn't care less. I excuse myself. Maxwell thinks it's because of what I just saw, but it's because Niles is out and I need to sneak around in his room.

I go upstairs to his room. I'm surprised how simple the room is. It's really neet and he has almost no furniture in it. Well let's start in the drawers. I go through some drawers but I find nothing. In the third drawer I see a folded piece of paper. It's a poem in his handwriting.

Look into my eyes and you'll see
I'm the only one
You've captured my love
Stolen my heart
Changed my life
Everytime you make a move
You destroy my mind
And the way you touch
I lose control and shiver deep inside
You take my breath away

You can reduse me to tears
With a single sigh
Every breath that you take
Any sound that you make
Is a whisper in my ear
I could give up all my life for just one kiss
I would surely die
If you dismiss me from your love
You take my breath away

So please don't go
Don't leave me here all by myself
I get ever so lonely from time to time
I will find you
Anywhere you go, I will be right behind you
Right until the end of the earth
I'll get no sleep till I find you to tell you
That you just take my breath away

You make me feel so bad
With every insult you throw
Right in my face
You make me feel like dirt
But I don't mind
I love you anyway
I love you

I wonder who it is about. Deep inside I know who it is about. It's about me. I get tears in my eyes. I never knew that he even liked me, let alone love me. But still I doubt. Should I go down and ask him right in his face who it is about. Or should pretend I don't know about it. He has every reason to be mad at me for going through his stuff. I have a brilliant idea. I'm going to act really loving towards him. Let's see how he acts. If it doesn't work I can always act really depressed. Anyway I'm going to ask him out. I keep the poem with me.

I go downstairs and I run into Niles who has just returned from shopping. I walk to the fridge to get us both a bottle of water. I hand him the bottle and he's surprised.

"Whoa are you serving me, sir?"

"Make the best of it servant." I think I'm going to be depressed. I go and sit down at the table. I don't say a word. To get depressed the only thing I have to do is think about what would happen if the poem wasn't about me. I actually begin to hate myself for having so much trouble with love. Why can't I just say 'I love you' to him. It's because I'm afraid to get hurt. If I only knew about who the poem was.

He comes and sit besides me. There's something not right. He must know about Nanny Fine and Maxwell, so why isn't he teasing me with it? He actually seems worried.

"What's bothering you?" He asks me with this beautiful voice. Since I realised that I'm in love with him, I keep falling more in love every second.

"Nothing. What do you care Hopsing? Aren't you happy that Nanny Fine and Maxwell are finally together? Why would you care if I felt bad?" I'm starting to feel really bad. Why would he care?

"I don't care. I just like to see you really depressed." He puts his hand on my arm. I am starting to feel better. I give him a smile and put my hand his. I look in those beautiful blue eyes. I just keep staring until Maxwell calls me. I quickly give Niles a little kiss on his cheek. He is little bit startled but he smiles at me. I quickly leave for Maxwell's office.

When I enter with a big smile Maxwell looks like he doesn't know what to think.

"What do you want Maxwell? Is there a problem with the backer?"

"No CC. I just wanted to know if you are ok. I guess that you know about Miss Fine..Fran and I are having a relationship. I hope you are ok with it." If only he knew I couldn't care less.

"Oh Maxwell. I guess I could have seen it coming." Then Niles enters with a tray of coffee. He doesn't know how he has to look. He looks like he is happy but he looks also uncertain. Maybe he thinks I'm toying with his mind. Well that could be true. I smile at him. Maxwell notices it and he get's this michievous smile on his face. I should be more carefull in the future. I want to keep my love a secret. I look at Niles. Well at least for a day or so. Niles leaves towards the kitchen. I admire the back view.

"Maxwell? Could I get the rest of the day off?" He looks happy but it isn't because of that. Nanny Fine has appeared in the doorway.

"That's fine with me, CC." When I leave the office the door is locked behind me.

I go to the living room where I hear someone playing the piano. When I enter I see it's Niles. He looks so hansom. I keep watching and listening. I've never heared this song, but it's beautiful. Then he starts singing. I know the words, but I'm certain that I've never heared it before. Then I realise it's the poem I found earlier. I get tears in my eyes. It's so beautiful. I go to kitchen.

When Niles enters I still got tears in my eyes. He sees them and he goes and sits besides me. I don't want to look in his eyes. I need to know if that song is about me but I'm afraid to ask. I look up and his worried face.

"Niles, that song that you just played..." He pulls his arm, which he had put on mine, away. He looks like he doesn't know what to do.

"Did you hear it?" He asks carefully. I need to know.

"It was beautiful. But for who did you write it?" He looks away. I put my hand on his arm.

"Niles," I say and try to look into his eyes, "I need to know for sure."

"I think you know already. Who else would it be about? It's you." He tries to look away but I put my hand on his cheek and I make him look at me. There's still one thing I need to know. Did he mean it?

"Did you mean what you sang?" Now I'm the one to look away and he's the one who puts his hand on my cheeck.

"Yes I do. With every piece of my heart. I love you CC." I needed to hear that.

"Good because I love you too. Even if you are Humpty Dumpty."

"Godzilla" He stands up.

"Brillo Pad." I stand up.

"Queen Kong." He takes my hands carefully. When our mouths touch I can't control myself any longer. I love him so much. I put my arms around him and give him the most pasionnate kiss I can manage. It's clear that we both want to take it further. So I grab his hands and take him outside to hail a cab.

When we are finally in the elevator of my building, he starts kissing my arms all the way up to my face. We arrive at my appartment. I'm finally happy.





The End







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