Author's Notes: This story takes place shortly after "The Nose Knows", season six never existed and Fran and Max still aren't together. Oh, yeah, and your commentary is greatly appreciated!!
Rating: PG-13 for some language



She's Always a Woman (Part 1)

by

Aasha
(NilesandCC@hotmail.com)




She can kill with a smile
She can wound with her eyes
And she can ruin your faith with her casual lies
And she only reveals what she wants you to see
She hides like a child
But she's always a woman to me

She can lead you to love
She can take you or leave you
She can ask for the truth
But she'll never believe you
And she'll take what you give her as long as it's free
Yeah, she steals like a thief
But she's always a woman to me

Oh-she takes care of herself
She can wait if she wants
She's ahead of her time
Oh-and she never gives out
And she never gives in
She just changes her mind

And she will promise you more
Than the Garden of Eden
Then she'll carelessly cut you
And laugh while you're bleedin'
But she'll bring out the best
And the worst you can be
Blame it all on yourself
Cause she's always a woman to me

She is frequently kind
And she's suddenly cruel
She can do as she pleases
She's nobody's fool
But she can't be convicted
She's earned her degree
And the most she will do
Is throw shadows at you
But she's always a woman to me

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Hello, hello!" perked the tall blonde to no one in particular as she hurriedly entered the front door of the Sheffield townhouse. It was bitterly cold outside and she was eager to get indoors to warm up. The snow was falling at a steady rate, and little by little, painting the city white. It seemed a good deal of the white flakes had found a home on her long black overcoat. As she began unbuttoning it, Niles was walking down the staircase carrying a mop in one hand and a bucket in another. He was unaware of her presence as he concentrated on each step so as not to fall. CC has her back turned to him trying desperately to knock off the avalanche that seemed to have fallen on her shoulders. As Niles descended, CC heard footsteps and turned around.

"Niles, come here and help me with this!" she demanded in her usual pushy way.

Rolling his eyes, he walked over to her, inspecting the snow on her coat.

"Miss Babcock, I don't think I can help you with this problem." he said as he cocked his head to the side and inspected the coat. "Only a medical doctor can treat dandruff this bad. Have you been scratching at fleas again?"

Evilly, CC looked him straight in the eye and retorted, "Listen, Mop 'n Glow, help me brush this snow off. I'm freezing and this snow's wet."

"Well, if you let it stay there a little longer, eventually you'll scare it off, so don't worry about it. Now if you'll excuse me, I have about a thousand other things to do."

Niles turned to walk toward the kitchen, but he didn't get halfway across the living room before CC called after him.

"NILES!!!" she screeched. "Get back here!!!"

"Drop dead!" he yelled back.

CC began walking after the butler. "If you don't help me you'll be the one who'll drop dead after I go tell Maxwell that you were the one that broke his favorite antique vase that belonged to his beloved grandfather."

He stopped dead in his tracks and turned around to face her, none too happy. She smirked and crossed her arms in front of her chest. "You know which one I'm talking about, don't you?" She questioned him knowing the answer. "Not the one he bought in Paris for $15,000, which you also, by the way, broke playing hockey in the living room. No, I'm talking about the one you broke while rollerblading through the hallway."

CC thought she had him in a corner and felt proud of herself. She just knew that info would come in handy someday.

But just as CC thought she had the edge, Niles remembered a bit of information he'd been saving for the right moment. He laid the mop against the wall and sat the bucket down. Stepping closer to his nemesis, he matched her smirk with a sly grin, a grin that could be found only on the faces of big shot card dealers in ritzy Las Vegas casinos or on con artists after their latest successful scam.

"I suppose if you could blab that to Mr. Sheffield then I could nonchalantly mention that the reason Barbra Streisand pulled out of doing the last play you and Mr. Sheffield produced was because you threatened to cut her vocal cords out. I'm sure he'll be quite amused in knowing it was because you thought she was coming on to him." Niles looked away and raised his eyebrows. "And just wait until Miss Fine hears about that. I wonder how she'll react..."

Oh, now she was furious. How the hell did he find out about that?? With both hands on her hips, her body language dared him.

"I think you're bluffing, Butler Boy."

"Well, I think you're old," he leaned in, squinting his eyes profusely at her. "Don't try me."

CC bent slightly forward and met his expression. "And what if I go and tell Maxwell what I know right now?"

"Then I'll have to tell Mr. Sheffield what you did." Niles said a matter-of-factly.

Suddenly, CC straightened her posture and arched her eyebrow in bewilderment. She turned away from Niles to take a moment to think about this.

Niles eyed her curiously. "What's wrong?"

"Well, after I tell Maxwell my story, and you tell him your story... then what?" She looked at Niles for an answer.

The butler appeared thoughtful for a minute. "It's simple. We'll both be fired."

For just a moment the evil glares and biting tongues ceased and the two donned sad expressions. Forlornly, CC replied, "Then I wouldn't be able to tell you how much I hate you everyday."

"Yeah and I wouldn't be able to put expired cream in your coffee."

They both sighed simultaneously.

"Niles, I suppose there's only one thing to do."

"What?" he asked suspiciously.

Seeing that the snow on her coat had melted, she took it off and handed it to Niles. "Here. Hang up my coat."

Niles shook his head and grabbed CC's coat which lay across her extended arm. As Niles was hanging it up, CC walked into the kitchen. When she was out of sight, Niles let the smile inside him appear on his face. He loved bantering with this thoroughly bred woman who happened to be his boss's business partner. It's a ritual they've shared for nearly twenty years. He'd been the only man to stand up to CC and not kiss her butt like everyone else in this town. He didn't care how much money she had or which family she came from, she wasn't invincible from Niles's dry wit. What delighted him the most was that she always took it like a man. CC was exceptional in that she didn't take Niles's comments too personally, and if she could help it, never let him have the last laugh.

Niles shut the closet door and retrieved his mop and bucket and proceeded into the kitchen where CC had gone to look for a cup of coffee.

As her entered the kitchen, he saw CC leaning on the countertop eyeing the coffeemaker.

Probably trying to figure out what it is, Niles thought.

"Niles, where's the coffee?"

"I haven't made it yet. I've been BUSY!!" he screamed irritably in her direction.

"Well, can you make some?! I'm cold!" She wrapped her arms around herself.

"Why don't you try lighting yourself on fire. With all that booze in your system, you should blow right up."

"Oh shut up! When you get the coffee made bring it to me in the office."

CC left for Max's office while Niles remained behind to make coffee for his boss and favorite witch.

~*~*~*~*~

"Oh hello, CC! How's your morning?" Max cheerfully inquired. He sat behind his desk in his usual attire, a suit and tie.

"I'm fine, Maxwell. Fine but freezing, it has to be ten below outside. And I didn't get my morning cup of coffee because some lazy butler was to busy!" she yelled towards the open door, emphasizing the last word.

Max shook his head entertained, then got straight to business.

"Anyways, CC, I spoke to Chandler Evans this morning about renting his theater for our play next month. I had scheduled to have lunch with him today at one o'clock, but I'm afraid that I can't make it."

Alarmed, CC stopped sifting through the morning mail and moved to stand in front of the desk.

"What do you mean you can't make it?! It's the last theater in this city that hasn't been booked for next month! We've got to have it! I need it!!!"

At that moment, Niles walked in, a tray with two coffee mugs in hand.

"Sir, is she trying to proposition you again?" he queried as he sat the tray on the desk and handed a mug to Max and then one to CC, who looked as if her eyes were going to pop out of her head.

"CC, calm down! I took care of it. I called Chandler this morning and told him that you would be joining him for lunch instead. After all, didn't you two see each other a while back?" Max smiled thinking the issue was resolved. Little did he know the humiliating way in which Chandler had dumped CC and how she was instantly dreading this arduous lunch date.

"Me?! Why can't you go?"

"CC, I would go but Gracie's teacher requested a parent-teacher conference at noon and I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to make it across town in time to meet Chandler."

"Oh, please, can't you come up with a better excuse than that? Just send Nanny Fine!"

Max was becoming quite annoyed with CC's outburst and tried to restrain from shouting. "That's not Miss Fine's job. Besides, Gracie's my daughter and it is a parent-teacher conference. Just go to the restaurant, have lunch with Chandler and rent the theater. No big deal."

CC just sat on the couch apprehensively, staring into space. Thinking to herself, her forehead and eyebrows creased with worry.

The last time I heard from Chandler he'd sent me back my house key and dumped me. He didn't even have the decency to tell me to my face. He wrote me a damn letter... which I read in front of Niles...

She sipped her coffee as Maxwell looked at her concerned.

"Is there something wrong, CC?"

She jumped in her seat. "What?! Uh no... No, nothing's wrong." She took another sip of her coffee. "Hmmm... this coffee tastes different. Like cherry..." Looking over at Niles, who was dusting the bookshelves trying to look busy, she asked, "What did you do to my coffee, Hazel? Put more expired milk in it?"

Niles turned around briefly, "You wish."

CC went back to reading the mail when she heard Max's voice.

"Yetta, what are you doing in here? If you're looking for Miss Fine, she's at Loehmann's for some sale."

The tiny, flamboyantly dressed grandmother was looking under the couch, on the bookcases and on the desk for something in particular.

"I'm not looking for Fran. I'm looking for my Milk of Magnesia, it's missing. I put it in the refrigerator and now it's gone."

Max's face held a look of confusion, "What's makes you think it's in here?"

"I thought she might've taken it," she said pointing at CC, "so I came in here to see if she had it."

"Why would I want your Milk of Magnesia? I can buy my own, thank you very much," CC replied haughtily.

"I thought you might've taken some to relieve yourself because you always have that same expression I do after I've eaten cheese and haven't seen it for five days."

Grossed out, CC could not believe Maxwell had ever agreed to hire Nanny Fine, and had continued to keep her even after meeting her low class family. This conversation was decidedly disgusting.

CC was becoming frustrated with the older lady. "No, Yetta, I didn't take your Milk of Magnesia, but if I had seen it in the refrigerator, believe me, I would've thrown it away."

"Yetta, I'll send Niles out later to get you some more, ok?" Max liked Miss Fine's family, even if they were a little... eccentric.

"Ok." She turned to Niles. "But this time get the peppermint flavored kind. I didn't like the cherry too much."

Once CC made the connection, she abruptly spit out the coffee in her mouth like a serpent spitting venom. It landed somewhere across the room. Niles looked at her feigning surprise.

"Niles!" she roared.

"See?" said Yetta excitedly. "You're making that face again! Niles, you'd better make that two bottles."

"Oh, somehow I don't think she'll be needing it," he commented.

CC stood up as Yetta left the office and slammed her coffee cup down on the tray.

"I can't work in here! I have to share this office with a butler who's trying to poison me, a crazy old woman who mistakes my Adolfo jacket for a handkerchief and a man who thinks his children are more important than our play, which by the way, I had to bend over backwards to get enough funds to produce..."

"Maybe you should raise your rates," quipped Niles with a lopsided, sneaky grin.

"Maxwell, I'll be in the kitchen! PLEASE keep your lackeys away from me unless you'd like to have someone's head sitting on your desk as a paperweight!!" She glared at Niles who tried his best to look innocent.

As soon as CC exited the room, a stunned Maxwell shared his concern with Niles.

"What the hell do you suppose is the matter with her?"

"Sir, this is a rare occasion... I believe she's come to work sober for once," Niles continued dusting the figurines on Maxwell's desk.

"Niles, can you for once stop tormenting Miss Babcock?" Maxwell pleaded exasperatingly.

"But sir, it's the only reason I get up in the morning!"

"I'm serious, old man, lay off of her."

"Oh, sir, that one place you'll never find me."

Niles picked up the tray with the two coffee mugs on it to take to the kitchen.

There was something wrong with Miss Babcock, Niles knew. He also knew that it probably had something to do with that impertinent Chandler fellow. He wondered how Miss Babcock would react to seeing that imbecile after the ungentlemanlike way he had dumped her. Miss Babcock was more of a man than Chandler Evans would ever be. She wasn't just any woman, either. She was brazen, bold and impudent and that made her a shrewd business woman. She wasn't a bad looker either. Her clear azure eyes could pierce a hole through whomever she looked at. Well, they were clear as long as she stayed away from the liquor, Niles thought. Her hair always smelled sweetly of honeysuckle and the scent she left behind when she exited a room... Ah, it was heavenly. Niles couldn't identify the scent, but it was angelic, quite unlike the woman it adorned.

His thoughts at the moment would disturb anyone that knew Miss Babcock and he as they've been at each other's throats for nearly twenty years, bantering back and forth, hurdling insults that would've gotten them killed if they had said them to anyone else. It wasn't so strange that he would have a certain amount of affection for her. After all, she was a woman and he was a man. He's always known that fact, but it wasn't until recently that he's paid attention to her womanly attributes: her milky white skin, her long legs and her voluptuous curves. No one knew the real reason why he looked forward to the mornings.

When Niles entered the kitchen, he saw the subject of his thoughts reading over some papers. Smoothly, he walked over to the sink and placed the coffee mugs in, making just enough clatter to stir Miss Babcock.

"I know you're there, Hazel," she said dryly, not looking up from her papers.

"Oh, did I disturb you?"

Ignoring the chance to insult the hired help, she instead worried about her impending lunch with Chandler. usually she took no guff from any man, but Chandler had humiliated her. It wouldn't have been so bad if she hadn't read that stupid letter in front of Niles. He probably told Nanny Fine who told Maxwell, her mother and Val. Oh great, she thought, everyone probably knows.

Niles jerked her from her deep thoughts when he laid a cup of coffee in front of her on the table.

She looked up at him suspiciously, "What's this? Your second attempt to poison me?"

"Babs, stop being so paranoid. I'm not trying to poison you. Look, I made a cup for myself." He held up his own mug.

"Yeah but I bet yours isn't laced with cyanide."

"Oh, just drink it already." Niles took the seat next to her at the table.

Cautiously, she brought the cup up to her lips and took a sip.

"Well?'

"It tastes ok, except..." She took another sip.

"Yes?"

A smile spread across CC's face. "Niles, you put brandy in my coffee!"

"Yes, I sensed you needed some liquor in your system."

"Thanks, I think." Niles smiled back at her, but hers swiftly disappeared. "Ok, mister, what's up? Why are you being so civil to me?"

"Can't I be nice at least once every twenty years to the person I hate and despise the most?" Niles stuck out his bottom lip and put on his most boyish face, but CC wasn't buying it.

"No, you can't. I swear, Niles, if you put something in this coffee, Maxwell's children will be playing soccer with your head."

Niles sighed. "Miss Babcock, I promise you there's nothing in your coffee. I just noticed how agitated you become upon discovering you were to have lunch with what's his name... Charles... Chutney..."

"It's Chandler. And I'm sure you can recall the name quite well. After all, you were there when I read his letter, you remember, the one where he dumped me?"

"Oh, Miss Babcock, you've been dumped hundreds of times! What makes this time so special?"

"I think it was because I actually cared for him. He was the only person who I ever bothered to genuinely care about, ever, and then he had the audacity to break up with me in a letter! His reason being that I was smothering him! The man didn't want a girlfriend, he just wanted a two minute ride on the merry-go-round at night after a hard day at work."

The look on Niles went sour as he learned the sordid details of CC's fling with Chandler, but it wasn't for the reasons one might think. It wasn't simply because thinking of his arch enemy doing the deed was repulsive, it was because she had done the deed with someone who didn't love her back or had cared enough to break up with her in person. This had slightly angered Niles who saw before him a sexy, smart, sophisticated woman that deserved better than Chandler Evans.

Coming to her defense, he tried to ease her anxiety. "This man isn't worth the time you spend worrying over him. I'll tell you what. I'll accompany you to that lunch and pose as your boyfriend. He'll never have to know that he humiliated you shamelessly.

Surprised at this friendly gesture, CC sat in her chair not knowing what to say. Then she laughed her deep, throaty laugh. "Niles... my boyfriend? That's something that'll never happen." CC took another sip of coffee.

Pretending he had better things to do, Niles got up from the table. "You're right. I have so much other stuff to do like laundry, washing windows, sweeping the rugs... that I don't have time to take you to lunch. I'm sure that you and Chutney, Chuckie..."

"Chandler," CC filled in irksomely.

"...Whatever, will have a good time by yourselves, just you and he, alone in a crowded restaurant with tons of people you know and socialize with..."

Thinking of the most horrendous things that could happen, she became wide eyed and scared. CC jerked around in her seat, "I'll pick you up at 12:30. Be ready." She got up from the table and headed to the living room. Just before she walked through the kitchen door, she instructed Niles, "I'm going home to change. I'll be back shortly. And Niles?"

"Hmmm?" he looked up from scrubbing the countertop.

"Trade in your usual Pinesol scent for something..."

"Less conspicuous?"

"Yeah."

With that, she left the townhouse and hailed a cab to her penthouse on Park Avenue.

As soon as she had gone, Niles headed up the stairs to get ready for their midday meeting with Chandler. He couldn't wait to once again see the man who had survived the Ice Queen.

~*~*~*~*~

For the rest of the morning, Niles continued doing work around the house, stopping only at 11:30 so that he could get ready to go with CC to meet Chandler. He showered again to clean off any taletell signs of butlerhood and then dressed in one of his Armani suits, the suits no one thought he had because of his perceived frugality. The finishing touch was the cologne which he sprinkled on his skin. A little went a long way.

When he finished getting ready, it was still only 12:20. After taking a last look in the mirror, he went downstairs to wait for Miss Babcock. Arriving in the living room, Niles found Mr. Sheffield passing through. Max stopped when he saw Niles coming down the stairs in, what looked to be, a new suit.

"Niles, is that an Armani?" Maxwell asked, impressed by his butler's suave appearance.

"Why, yes it is, sir." He continued down the stairs to the closet where he retrieved his dark blue overcoat to match the dark blue suit he was wearing.

"I never knew you had an Armani."

"There are a lot of things you don't know about me," he smiled as he slipped his arm through the sleeve.

"Obviously. So, where are you off to?"

"I'm accompanying Miss Babcock to her meeting with Chandler."

"Why on this bloody earth does she need you to go with her to meet Chandler? She's a grown woman."

"Man, sir."

"What?" inquired Maxwell befuddled.

"A grown man. Miss Babcock's a grown man."

Max rolled his eyes. "Actually, I don't think either one of you have grown up yet!" He went to his office, leaving Niles to wait for CC, who showed up right on time ten minutes later.

CC walked through the door and Niles had to admit she looked stunning. She had on a Dolce and Gabana, much like the one she wore the day she read Niles Chandler's letter, except this time she chose a midnight blue color. Blue is her color, Niles thought, it goes with her eyes. CC's blonde hair was swept back in a French, exposing two small diamond studs, one in each ear.

"Why, Niles!" she exclaimed, taking off her sunglasses, "You look..." She paused trying to think of something to say. "You look very nice."

"Thank you, Babs. You look absolutely astounding." He gazed at her statuesque figure from head to toe. "Looks like blue is the color of the day."

She looked at herself, then at Niles, blushing just a little. "I suppose so! Wow, I'm trying to get used to this new look of yours, but it looks incomplete somehow, though."

"What do you mean incomplete?!" shouted Niles defensively.

CC stepped closer to inspect Niles. She stared at him momentarily.

"I know what it is. It's the feather duster, I'm not used to seeing you without it. Do you think we'll have time to find it before we leave?" CC smirked, sarcasm dripping from her voice.

"Well, I don't know. But first we have to fix that problem with your tongue darting out. You know how that embarrasses me in front of company."

Rolling her eyes, she beckoned Niles toward the door. "Come on, Mr. Clean, there's a cab waiting for us outside."

Niles followed CC out of the townhouse and into the cab.

The ride to the restaurant was quiet except for the noises of the busy city outside of the yellow car. CC sat nervously in the backseat next to Niles, looking mostly out the window. Once in a while she'd unconsciously bring her hand up to her head and smooth back her hair. Niles noticed that she didn't wear any rings on her fingers. He didn't recall ever seeing rings on any of Miss Babcock's fingers, though she always wore earrings, necklaces and bracelets.

CC, on the other hand, was dreading this meeting with Chandler a little more with every mile the driver drove. How dare this man treat me like he did! It wasn't just the way he broke up with her, it was the way he treated her when they were seeing each other. The only time he'd call her to come over was late at night after work, and then all he wanted to do was have sex. He never wanted to talk. CC readily admitted that she was drawn to his physical attractiveness, but after awhile she began to yearn for a companion. She wanted someone to share her day with, her evening with and her love with. Chandler wanted to share the nighttime with her, but when morning came, he always ushered her out of his apartment before the sun rose. They had slept together on several occasions, but she couldn't remember him ever saying, "I love you," three words she secretly longed to hear so much.

Though she told herself and everyone else that she hated Niles, deep down, she had certain amount of appreciation for her handsome arch enemy. Sure, they were constantly ridiculing one another, but that's how they communicated. To outsiders, their relationship looked unhealthy to say the least, but it's a relationship that has endured for nearly twenty years, the most stable relationship she's ever had. If she didn't like Niles, why does she spend most of her time at the Sheffield's insulting him? He wasn't all bad, actually he wasn't half bad. His gesture of offering to accompany her to the restaurant had dumbfounded her, though. She had prepared herself for any jeers Niles might throw her way concerning Chandler, but so far, he hasn't used Chandler against her. CC was relieved that he'd chosen to keep quiet about that subject.

She sneaked a peek at her dashing "date" for this afternoon while he looked out the window. A small smile formed on her lips as she observed this mystery of a man. They'd known each other for a very long time, but still she knew so little about him. She knew him as Niles the Butler, his public persona, but didn't know any personal information. There were times when she'd come across him in the kitchen and living room and just watch him for minutes at a time, wondering what was going on inside of his head. His features were also a subject of her admiration. His face was marked by a maturity and honestness she found that other men lacked. She knew that if he ever loved someone, he'd love her passionately with all his heart and soul and stand by her for all of time. Suddenly, she felt envious of this shadow lover of Niles's, but at the same time knew that he was deserving of such a person. She hoped that one day Niles would find that special woman and have a happy life together. It was a dream she had wished a thousand times for herself. When she was with Chandler, she had hoped that maybe he was the person with whom she could achieve that dream, but something inside her had told her, before the fling had even begun, that it was not meant to be. It seemed that nothing was meant to be, with a man anyways...

"Miss Babcock, we're here."

"What?" She blinked a couple of times coming back to reality. Looking around her, she discovered that they had arrived at their destination.

"We're here, at the restaurant," Niles enunciated every word slowly.

"I know where we're at Spic 'n Span," CC spat out bitterly.

"Then why did you say 'what' when I told you that we'd arrived?"

"To keep you on your toes."

"Oh, well, excuse me that I'm not as well on my toes as you are, seeing that you have six on each foot to my five."

CC stepped out of the cab and paid the driver, then made their way inside the restaurant.

"Can it, Niles. Any more insults in front of Chandler and I'll be forced to slap you."

Niles's face brightened up. "I just knew that was your photograph on the front of the latest S & M magazine."

CC gave Niles a look that told him that now was not the time to joke. He instantly felt sympathetic.

"Miss Babcock, I promise; no insults during lunch, unless you do or say something to warrant them." He gave Cc a reassuring smile and she silently thanked him by squeezing his hand. Her contact shocked Niles and he relished the couple of moments that her skin touched his before she spotted Chandler.

"Hey Niles, I think I see Chandler." The two of them were escorted by a maitre'd to Chandler's table where he was sipping on a champagne glass.

When Chandler saw the pair approach, he sat his glass down and rose to meet them, his attention focused primarily on CC.

He met her with a smile that bared his teeth. CC extended her hand, intending to shake Chandler's hand, but he had other ideas. Never turning his eyes away from CC to look at anything else, he brought her hand to his lips and kissed the top of it, brushing his lips against her knuckles.

"Hello, CC, it's been awhile," Chandler smiled again, but not as flashy.

CC was taken by surprise by his gesture and was left flabbergasted. Niles could see right through this sorry excuse for a man. He knew Chandler had used Miss Babcock, but had decided not to say anything about it. After all, it wasn't his place.

CC blinked several times and had to find her voice before she could talk.

"Uh, Chandler, it's, uh, nice to see you again."

Oh great, Niles groaned inwardly, She's going to go giddy schoolgirl on me.

"Likewise, CC," he continued, grinning, "And who's this you have with you?"

"This is Niles, my boyf--"

Chandler let go of CC's hand and extended his arm across the table to shake Niles's hand.

"Maxwell's butler?" he interrupted. "I thought you looked familiar. Nice to see you again."

"Likewise." Niles responded flatly through gritted teeth, a little miffed that CC hadn't gotten to say "boyfriend". He'd just wanted to see Chandler's face upon hearing that she was dating someone else.

Noticing the tone in Niles's voice, CC snapped her head around and flashed him a warning look that told him not to try anything.

"What?" he mouthed innocently, shrugging his shoulders.

"Well, now that we're all here, let's sit down. CC, darling, what would you like to drink?"

Darling?? The man has got to be kidding! The man lost the right to call Miss Babcock "darling" when he unceremoniously dumped her. But she didn't seem to mind it at all, so he might as well keep his mouth shut.

"I'd like a martini. Niles do you want anything?"

"Just give me a daiquiri."

"All right, a martini and a daiquiri," he told the maitre'd. "And could you bring me another glass of champagne?"

"Yes, sir." With that, the maitre'd turned and left.

"So, CC, where've you been keeping yourself?"

"I've been busy with fundraisers for the new play. And now I've been running around town trying like hell to find a theater to host it. Sp far, no luck."

"Well, you know, you could always rent my theater. In fact, why didn't you ask me first? I was surprised that Max was the one that called me. I was expecting you."

CC's face became flushed and her eyes fell. She stammered, "I, uh, didn't think it would be, um, appropriate to call you after our, uh, breakup." She couldn't look him in the eye. She felt like she wanted to die.

Chandler obviously thought that was funny because he started laughing.

"What's so funny?" CC snapped.

"You thought I broke up with you? Where in the world did you get that idea??"

At that moment, the maitre'd returned with their drinks. CC and Chandler were lost in their own little world, leaving Niles alone to observe them, talking about things so personal that under any other circumstances, he wouldn't have been privy to. He's like to see just how Chandler planned to weasel himself back into CC's life.

"If I recall correctly, you sent me back my apartment key and said that I was smothering you. How was I suppose to take it?" The bitterness in CC's voice shone through.

"I meant that I needed space, I didn't break up with you."

"Then why couldn't you call me and tell me that?! You let me think that you dumped me!" CC's voice became an octave higher and more angry. Chandler looked around the room to see if anyone had heard her, then leaned in to try and quiet her by explaining himself.

"Now, CC, you know that I lead a very busy life. I didn't even type that letter, my secretary did. She worded it all wrong or something."

CC's eyes were now piercing through Chandler, her head no longer hung in humiliation. Her breathing quickened, Niles observed. CC Babcock was in attack mode. He knew this as he'd seen her get this way during their many verbal assaults.

"Then why did she send the key with it?"

"How the hell am I suppose to know! I only gave her instructions, I didn't write or send the letter. And I'd appreciate if you'd keep your voice down, I don't want everyone in this restaurant to know our business."

Uh-oh, Niles thought, Chandler's in trouble. He just tried to give Miss Babcock an order. I wonder how long until she kills him? Niles knocked back his daiquiri and smiled.

"Don't you tell me what to do! I'll do what I damn well please!" she responded bitingly.

She expected Chandler to say something back, but he looked distracted. Suddenly, he shot up out of his seat and smiled at a young brunette woman that was approaching the table. The well dressed young woman had to be half his age. She was smiling as she approached the party of three.

"Hi, honey!" she squealed ecstatically in a sugary voice as she embraced Chandler.

"Hi, Lesley. What are you doing here?" he smiled through his teeth, but Niles could tell he wasn't expecting the surprise visit from this young woman in particular.

"I finished up early today so I called your secretary and she gave me your schedule so I could surprise you."

"Oh, believe me, I'm surprised. Lesley, I'd like you to meet CC Babcock and, uh, Niles."

CC was interested to know just who the hell this little tart was that barged in on her meeting with Chandler.

Not rising from her chair, CC turned around and looked at Lesley, "Excuse me, but Chandler and I have business to discuss, so could you go away?" CC turned back around to take a drink of her martini.

Lesley scowled, "Wow, Chandler, you didn't tell me that CC Babcock was a bitch." Then she directed her rancorous words to CC. "And sweetie, don't try to tell me what to do or where to go. Do I make myself clear?"

"Well, sweetie, the only thing clear about you is the space between your ears and the cubic zirconias in them that you're trying to pass off as diamonds. You better put them back before someone misses their costume jewelry."

Appalled, the woman looked at Chandler, "Chandler, are you just going to stand there while she insults your wife like that?"

Niles and CC looked at each other with their mouths and eyes wide open as if they'd just seen a ghost. For Niles, this was better than a soap opera. He didn't even feel the need to defend Miss Babcock from this two timing loser. No, she could very much take care of herself. Niles put his hands behind his head and continued to enjoy the view.

CC jumped up.

"She's your wife??" she practically spat it out, pointing at Lesley.

Chandler didn't even get a chance to answer, as Lesley beat him to it.

"Yes I am! We've been married for two years." She help up her finger showing off her wedding rings. "So, I don't know who you think you're talking to..."

Lesley didn't get to finish her sentence before CC interrupted her.

"I know exactly who I'm talking to. I'm talking to the wife of the biggest liar and cheater in New York City!" She then directed her words at Chandler.

"You two-timing son of a bitch! Those mornings you rushed me out of your apartment was because your wife was coming home! The only times I could spend the night at your apartment was when she was out of town! How dare you play me!"

CC's glare was hard. By now, everyone in the restaurant was aware of the love triangle in the middle of the room. All eyes were on CC, Chandler and Lesley.

Lesley was bewildered and with her hands on her hips, she looked accusingly at her husband and demanded to know what was going on. "Honey, what is she implying?"

Desperately, Chandler tried to appease his wife. "I don't know what she's talking about sweetheart, I just wanted to talk about renting the theater and the next thing I know, she's all over me!"

Niles thought that he could speak up as CC's witness, but, nah, the Iron Maiden didn't need him.

"All over you?? You mean like that night you said that you needed me, you couldn't live without me, 'Please CC, stay the night'?!"

Lesley started crying and screamed at a defenseless Chandler. "How could you, Chandler?! I loved you and you cheated on me! Don't bother coming home!" She turned and ran out of the restaurant.

Frustrated, Chandler sat back down in his seat. "Look what you did, CC! You've ruined my marriage!"

"Me? Ruin your marriage? Maybe if you'd have told me you were married, this wouldn't have happened. How dare you blame this on me you lying bastard!"

Chandler had had enough. He stared up at CC and narrowed his eyes.

"You crazy bitch, I only wanted you for one reason and believe me, it wasn't the sex. You couldn't get that right if you had some pictures and a manual telling you what to do.! No, I just wanted Maxwell's business. That's all I ever wanted from you!"

As soon as he got the last word out of his mouth, CC's right fist met Chandler's jaw, sending him flying out of his chair onto the floor. Niles's eyes popped out of his head. He leaped from his chair to get a closer look at CC and Chandler. He couldn't believe CC has hit him! Suddenly, he was very turned on by the strength of this woman. He actually feared for Chandler's life, but, oh, what the hell, Chandler deserved what he got.

CC moved to stand over Chandler, who lay on the floor on his back. Looking up at CC he bellowed, "You'll never get that theater now! You can just forget it!"

From deep within her throat, CC let out a husky laugh. "That's the wrong answer, Chandler! Try again!"

"I'll never in my life let you have it! You just lost your chance!"

Chandler tried to get up but CC jumped on his body and began to throttle him.

"Thank again! It's either the theater or your life, take your pick! No one two times CC Babcock and gets away with it!"

Through the sound of Chandler choking, he managed to let out, "Ok, ok! Take it for $5,000 a night! Now, let go! Can't breathe!"

But she didn't let go. Her grip grew tighter. "No! That's too expensive! You'd better bring the price down before my handprints on your neck become permanent!"

"Ok! 3,000! he wheezed, beginning to realize that CC meant business.

"You've got to be kidding me! After all the emotional distress you've put me through?!"

"Ok, ok! It's free! Take it! Now, let go! Need air!"

In a moment's notice, CC loosened her hands around Chandler's neck. "That sounds like a reasonable offer. I think I'll take it." CC smiled triumphantly, once again asserting her domination over those beneath her in the food chain.

She let go of Chandler's throat and stood up. Chandler coughed and took several large gasps of air. When he recovered somewhat, he glowered up at his attacker and hoarsely said, "Don't think you'll get away with this, CC! I'm going to the police and filing an assault charge."

She cackled in his face and flashed him an evil smile. "You do that and the next thing they'll be charging me with is murder. Yours."

CC turned to walk away, but then spun back around. "Oh, and Chandler, one more thing. If you ever come around me again, or ever threaten me, the next time you'll be dealing with Chester."

CC walked out of the dining room leaving a numb and shell-shocked Niles to put on his coat. Chandler was pulling himself back into his chair. Angry wasn't the word to describe him. He was fuming to say the least.

"Chester?! She's going to sic Chester on me?! That little furball?! he snickered unconvinced at the little Pomeranian's strength.

Niles walked over to his side of the table and looked down snobbishly at the man who was beginning to sport nice purple bruises around his neck. "Don't underestimate Chester. He's his mommy's son."

With those final words, he left the restaurant and it's stunned, silent customers and met CC out on the sidewalk.

"You really can't hold your liquor, can you, CaCa?" an amazed and incredibly turned on Niles asked. She looked at him with a grin on her face. "That, my dear Niles, is how you get a theater." CC was decidedly calm despite the fact that she'd just tried to kill her ex-beau.

"Gee, no wonder they no longer allow you to screen chorus boys."

"Niles, in this business, you to be tough. It's a dog-eat-dog world out there."

"As long as you don't go home and eat Chester, it's ok."

CC hailed a cab and soon they were headed back to the townhouse. The ride home was just as quiet as the ride to the restaurant except that CC appeared more relaxed.

Niles had a newfound admiration for this woman. Her actions at the restaurant shouldn't have surprised him so much, after all, he'd teased her mercilessly for years about the rumors he'd heard; rumors that she'd choked this director and made that director cry. It was comical, if not downright sexy. He had to admit, an angry CC was a turn on. She was unlike any woman he'd ever met before. She was strong, willful and perhaps the only woman who could spit fire. On top of all of that, she was beautiful. Niles couldn't get enough of looking at her. Could it be that he loved Miss Babcock?

Niles's serene thoughts were cut short when the cab arrived at the townhouse. CC got out and as Niles prepared to leave, saw that she had left her sunglasses in the seat. He glanced up quietly to see if she saw him, but she was busy paying the driver. Smoothly, he slipped the sunglasses into his jacket pocket then exited the car.

"Hello, hello," piped CC as she entered the Sheffields' empty living room. She went straight to the office to finish up the day's business and to inform Maxwell on the status of the theater.

Niles hung his coat in the closet and smiled secretly to himself as he patted his jacket pocket that contained CC's sunglasses. He'd have to think of a way to use it to his advantage. It was strange admitting, if only to himself, that he loved the bitch of Broadway.





~*~*~*To Be Continued~*~*~*


This is my first fan fiction for "The Nanny". So, how did I do? Would you like me to continue? If so, email me with your commentary!



Back to Fan Fiction

Back to The Really Unofficial Nanny Home Page