The characters in this story belong to the creators of The Nanny, with the exception of Prudence, she's all mine! Trouble is…I don't like her, so if you want her…please take her…I won't sue.
by
Maxie
(maxie_s@hotmail.com)
It was an average morning in the Sheffield home. Fran and Max were celebrating their 3 week wedding anniversary, she was sitting on Max’s lap feeding him his pancake breakfast alternating between giving him food and lingering, passionate kisses.
Niles was at the kitchen sink cleaning up, watching the lovebirds pretending to make gagging noises at their behaviour while secretly being delighted at seeing his friends so happy.
This scene of domestic bliss was suddenly interrupted by the arrival of C.C., looking deshevilled and desperate. Closely behind her followed an older woman who bore a striking resemblance to her.
"Maxwell, I…." She stopped as she saw the intimate pose Maxwell and Fran were in and realised the woman behind her could see it too. Becoming even more frantic, she looked wildly around her. Spotting Niles she quickly went to him and grabbed his arm, pulling him towards the woman. The grip on his arm was that of a desperate person. "Mother, I’d like you to meet my fiancé, Maxwell Sheffield!"
"Huh?" said Fran and Max in unison.
Glancing questioningly at C.C., Niles caught the pleading look in her eyes. Quickly grasping the situation, he thrust out his hand. "Delighted to meet you Mrs Babcock", he said.
"Please, call me Prudence", she said returning his handshake, "…And who are these two?" She gestured distainfully at Fran and Max, who were still sitting there, looking dumbfounded.
"That’s the nanny, Fran Fine", C.C. interjected before any one else could answer, "and this is Maxwell’s butler, Niles", she finished, pointing at Maxwell.
"Maxwell…," Prudence said, turning back towards Niles, "is it normal practice for you to allow your employees to act so unprofessionally whilst they are working?"
"No… no it’s not!" replied Niles, warming to the role thrust so suddenly upon him. "In fact, I was about to reprimand them just as you came in."
Extracting himself from C.C.’s vice-like grip, he walked over to the couple.
"Ok, you two! I’ve told you before and I don’t wish to tell you again. This behaviour is not acceptable while you are in MY house, working for ME! Do you understand?"
"Yes Sir!" they mumbled, slowly catching up.
"Good! Now Nanny Fine, go and find the children, tell them we have a guest, and could you make sure they’ve tidied the living-room as I asked." He gave Fran a hard stare, hoping she understood what he meant.
For once in her life Fran was on the ball. She left the kitchen to find the kids and fill them in on the unexpected turn of events. The children and her then got busy, taking down photos of Fran and Max, and removing any traces of it being Max’s house.
"Now, You!" Niles said to Max, "do your job for once and make some refreshments for our guest. Prudence, won’t you please take a seat? I hope you’ll excuse me and my fiancé for a moment… we haven’t had a chance to say good morning properly yet." Without giving Prudence a chance to respond, he grabbed C.C by her arm and whisked her into the living-room.
Niles and C.C. found the living-room empty, with Fran and the kids having moved onto to the up-stairs.
"Oh Babcock! You are going to owe me so big for this one!" chuckled Niles gleefully.
"Shut-up Niles! …and thanks" C.C. said reluctantly.
"Care to tell me what’s going on?"
"Well…it just sort of started as a little white lie, to stop my mother harassing me about my love life…"
"What love life?" snorted Niles.
"Exactly! Anyway, I kind of told her 6 months ago that I was seeing Maxwell, and every time I’ve talked to her since…the story just kept growing….until a couple of weeks ago I told her we’d gotten engaged. Niles, I didn’t know she was going jump on a plane and come out here. Oh God, it’s such a mess!"
" Hmmph, it sounds to me like this has got more to do with your futile fantasies regarding Max than your mother!"
"Oh you…I should have known you wouldn’t understand!" C.C. hissed angrily, "That’s what I get for trying to discuss my problems with a …a toilet scrubber." Stamping her foot she spun around and stomped back into the kitchen.
"Oh, C.C.!" sing-songed Niles, following her back into the kitchen, "We haven’t finished saying good-morning yet." He grabbed her arm and spun her around, pulling her hard up against him. Before she could protest he pressed his lips to hers. C.C. instinctively gasped and he took the opportunity to deepen the kiss. Of their own violation, her arms wrapped themselves around him and she found herself hungrily returning the kiss.
Prudence stared in bemused fascination at the embracing couple. Behind the kitchen counter Max struggled to contain his mirth at the show his friends were providing. This wasn’t the first time he’d seen them like this and he knew there was much more to their relationship than either of them would care to admit. Deciding enough was enough, he discreetly cleared his throat.
Jumping apart at the sound of Max’s cough, Niles and C.C. momentarily stared at each other in a passion-filled fog.
‘Damn!’ C.C. thought to herself. ‘It wasn’t the alcohol. That man sure knew how to kiss!’ Suddenly remembering her mother and the situation, she broke from his gaze, turned and went and sat down at the table. Niles, getting back into character, pulled out the chair beside her and sat, draping his arm across C.C.’s shoulders blithely ignoring the kick she gave him under the table.
"So, Prudence, how long can we expect to have the pleasure of your company for?" he asked.
"Only until tomorrow I’m afraid. I have a meeting I have to get back for. I’m really terribly busy at the company at present but when C.C. told me of your engagement, I just had to fly out and meet you. I hope it’s not an inconvenience to you, having me come to stay so unexpectedly?"
"Actually Mother, you’ll be staying with me at my place." C.C. hastily interrupted.
"Don’t be silly C.C." Prudence said. "I’m not that old fashioned. I know you and Maxwell must spend your nights together."
C.C opened her mouth to reply but Niles was too quick for her.
"Of course, you’ll be staying with us!" he stated. Lowering his voice to a conspiring whisper, he added "and you’re right. I couldn’t possibly cope without my Snookums by my side…even for just one night"
He winked at her and she let out a childish, high-pitched giggle. C.C., realising she was trapped, grinned weakly.
Niles, thoroughly enjoying himself, suppressed a chuckle as he thought of the chaos this arrangement was going to bring to the household later that night. Max, still behind the sink, glared silently at his butler but Niles, wisely, wasn’t looking his way.
A little while later, Prudence, citing tiredness from the flight, asked if she could be excused so she could rest before lunch. Max, following Niles’ orders, showed her to the guestroom. This left Niles and C.C. alone in the kitchen.
"What the hell do you think you’re doing?" demanded C.C., as soon as they were out of earshot.
"Now Snookums, don’t be like that…..oomph!!" He doubled over in pain as a result of C.C.’s elbow having been driven forcefully into his ribs. He was still struggling for breath when Max arrived back with Fran in tow.
"Niles! What the hell do you think you’re doing?" shouted Max, unwittingly echoing C.C., who grinned at Niles being in trouble with his employer. Catching C.C.’s smirk, Max turned on her. "And you can wipe that grin off your face! Would you please explain to me why your mother thinks I’m engaged to you?"
"Actually Sir, she thinks I’M engaged the her." Niles interjected helpfully. Receiving a murderous look from Max, he shut-up.
At this moment Fran approached C.C., walking right up to her until they stood nearly nose to nose. "I wanna know Missy, why you’re running around telling people you’re engaged to MY husband ?" she yelled, poking C.C. on the chest with each word.
"Umm…I…Umm," C.C. stammered, intimidated. She looked at Niles helplessly.
Niles allowed himself a split second to gloat at C.C.’s discomfort, before surprising the hell out of himself and coming to her rescue."Miss Fine…er….Mrs Sheffield" he said soothingly, "It seems that Miss Babcock has been having problems with her mother nagging her about her single status, so she simply made up a story in order to keep her quiet."
This explanation brought Fran up short. "Single?…A mother?….nagging?…." She turned back to C.C. "OH, you poor woman!!" She grabbed C.C. and gave her a hug of the sisterhood. C.C. was powerless, wrapped in Fran’s exuberance, her arms flailed helplessly as she tried to avoid returning Fran’s hug. "Max," said Fran, turning to him, still holding C.C. by the arm, "We have to help her! We have to keep pretending while her mother’s here."
Max, as always, was completely baffled by Fran’s sudden 180 degree turn-about. "But, you said….."
"Forget what I said! We’re talking about a daughter being hassled by her mother."
Knowing Fran’s logic, Max knew it was pointless to argue any further. He took his escalating frustration out on Niles. "This would be so much easier if you hadn’t opened your big, fat mouth and said she could stay the night," he ranted.
"I know, Sir. I don’t know what I was thinking." Niles answered subserviently, not meaning a word of it.
"Well, it’s too late now to do anything about it. We’ll just have to play it out. Fran, what did you tell the children?" Max asked, slipping into his organisational mode.
"I told them that until we tell them otherwise you and Niles have switched personas, they’re up-stairs rehearsing their parts now."
"Right! That’s good! Now….I guess we have to sort out the sleeping arrangements for tonight."
The four of them simultaneously exchanged looks of horror as the implications of the situation dawned on them. Fran and Max groaned in unison as they realised they were going to be spending the night apart for the first time since their marriage. Niles and C.C., however were much more agitated about things and for a very different reason.
"Oh Sir, you can’t truly expect me to share a bed with her? Cruella’s evil twin. It’s too much! It’s too much to ask of any mortal man." Niles protested.
"Like I want to spend the night with a toilet brush!" C.C. snapped back. ( In truth, she was still unsettled from the kiss earlier, the thought of having to sleep beside him had her totally unhinged.)
"Shut-up the pair of you!" Max bellowed. "This mess is entirely of your own making. If Fran and I have to sleep apart, then it’s only fair that the two of you have to sleep together!"
Knowing he was right, Niles and C.C. could do nothing except glare at each other.
"Ok, it’s settled then, Niles and C.C. you’ll take our room, I’ll take Niles’ room and Fran will have to sleep in her old room." Max shot Fran a rueful glance.
"Thank-you for doing this for me." C.C. said quietly, not used to having to respond to such kindness. "And…Nanny Fine, I am sorry….about everything."
Fran nodded to her wordlessly.
"C.C., when your mother comes back down, I want you to take her out for lunch. And, if you can, keep her out for the afternoon while we get things organised." Max said.
" Okay." C.C. looked less than thrilled at the prospect.
"Shouldn’t I go with them?" Niles piped up, "After all, I am her fiancé."
"Will you stop that! You are NOT my fiancé." C.C. spat.
"Snookums….darling….is that any way to talk to your intended?" drawled Niles.
"Why you worthless, arrogant …."
"No Niles, you won’t be going." Max interrupted them before things got out of hand. "You will regretfully make your excuses. I need you here to cook dinner."
Niles dropped his head as he realised an unscheduled afternoon off wasn’t going to happen. He walked back to his spot in the kitchen, muttering. His face lit up again as he thought of the up-coming evening and the role he would be playing in it. It fell again as he thought of what would come after it, sharing a bed with that she-devil! A she-devil who could kiss like an angel he admitted to himself with a fatalistic sigh.
That afternoon was a busy one in the Sheffield Mansion. In the absence of C.C. and Prudence, Niles prepared the meal, Fran and the kids organised the bedrooms changing sheets etc. while Max, in an unusually brilliant moment had the fore-sight to go to C.C’s apartment and retrieve some clothes for her. He deliberately ‘forgot’ her nightwear in an attempt to promote romance for his friends. Oy, Fran was rubbing off on him.
True to her promise, C.C. didn’t return with her mother until less than an hour before dinner time. By then, the stage was set. Niles (looking resplendent in a tuxedo), was surprised to see C.C. looking so strained after her day with her mother. He wondered if it was the stress of the charade or if it was something more. He didn’t have much time to dwell on it though, as before he knew it, the ladies had freshened up and it was time for the show to begin.
Things started off smoothly enough. Everyone, including the children, remembered their parts well, although Max fumbled a lot handling the serving dishes. Niles had earlier offered to give him a few lessons but he’d firmly refused. ("I know how to serve a bloody meal!"). Niles was amused by his efforts, while Prudence was clearly appalled. Seeing her face, Niles gave her a sideways nudge.
"It’s so hard to find good help now days." Ok, not the most original line he’d ever used, but it seemed appropriate.
"Isn’t though!" she replied, deadly serious.
Niles, affronted at the slight to his profession, couldn’t think of a response to make without giving the game away. So, he shut his mouth and resumed eating. C.C. snickered at seeing the usually quick-witted butler lost for words.
"Is something funny, dear?" He asked her.
"No, not really….I…was just thinking about something I read in the paper this morning." She answered quickly.
"I think I know what you’re talking about. It was that chicken joke right?….the one where the man got the woman to cluck like a chicken" he baited.
"Ooh, tell it Miss Babcock! I like jokes," begged Grace.
C.C. reddened and threw Niles a baleful stare. Niles looked back at her innocently.
"No, it wasn’t a joke I was thinking about. It was something else." C.C. answered her.
"Awww" whined Grace, sounding remarkable like her new step-mother.
"Gracie…" warned Max automatically, from where he was standing.
Prudence looked horrified at this intrusion from the butler. Niles realising the blunder Max had just made, swiftly covered up.
"Niles, I can manage my own children, thank-you!….Gracie, honey, don’t whine. It’s annoying."
‘Amen to that.’ Everyone thought looking at Fran.
"Whaat?" whined Fran.
"Gracie?" asked Prudence. "C.C., I thought you said the youngest was Gretchen….Yes! You did. Mary, Brian and Gretchen."
They all looked at C.C. and silently groaned. C.C. gave her shoulders an almost imperceptible shrug.
"Yes! Her name is Gretchen." Said Fran hurriedly. "Grace is a nick-name, you know on account of the way she moves." Unfortunately, Grace chose that very moment to accidentally knock her glass over, sending orange juice flying across the tablecloth. "You see. It’s one of those ironical type nick-names." Finished Fran lamely, attempting to wipe up the mess with a napkin.
"Oh, I see….When C.C. was a child we called her ‘Chubby’, although there was nothing ironical about that, was there C.C.?" Prudence said.
Niles grinned inwardly as lean leaned back waiting for the zinger C.C. would now surely send to her mother. ‘It should be a good one’ he thought.
Nothing! The silence was deafening. Surprised, Niles looked over at her and was amazed to see C.C. just sitting there looking embarrassed. She seemed to have slid down slightly in her chair. ‘Come on Babcock!’ he urged her mentally, ‘Give her one.’
Still nothing.
To cover the silence, Maggie seized the chance to announce her plans to go away with her new boy-friend, Michael, for the week-end, knowing that there was nothing her father could say about it just then.
"Way to go Maggie!" Brighton laughed.
"Maggie?" Prudence queried.
"Another nickname, it was originally Maggot but we shortened it to Maggie" quipped Brighton unfazed.
"BRIGHTON!" admonished Fran, Max and Niles together.
At the sound of Brighton’s name Prudence merely raised a questioning eyebrow.
"Ooh ooh, let me!’ exclaimed Maggie. She leaned towards Prudence drawing her in as she would a close confidant "Brian isn’t really a true member of the family….his real mother abandoned him. Mom and Dad found him in England on the Brighton Pier…that’s why we call him that." She leaned back, pleased with her hastily composed story. Her smug grin soon changed to a painful grimace as Brighton stuck her with a fork beneath the table.
"Children, that’s enough!" said Niles deciding to take control before things got out of hand. "Mrs Babcock doesn’t want to hear all our family stories. Now, if you’ve all finished eating, I want you to go up-stairs and start your homework."
Maggie and Grace pushed back their chairs and stood up. Maggie took half a step towards Max before remembering the situation, she changed direction and went to Niles and gave him a peck on the cheek. She then flounced out the room and headed up-stairs to phone Michael.
Grace, incorporating her newly acquired characteristic of clumsiness, stumbled her way to Niles and also gave him a kiss.
"Don’t you want to give C.C. a hug too? After all, she’s going to be your Mommy soon" he said to her ., glancing at C.C. to gauge her reaction.
C.C., grimacing slightly in distaste, accepted the young girls hug, surprising herself by actually finding it kind of sweet.
"Night Gretchen" she said. Gracie, then followed Maggie’s path, tripping slightly on the stairs.
Niles, seeing that Brighton hadn’t made any attempt to move, told him he was to go too.
Brighton stood up, took a deep breath and suddenly threw his napkin down on the table. "It’s not fair!" he yelled. "You’re always picking on me! I know it’s because I’m not really your son!" Feigning sobs, he then stomped out of the room.
Max and Fran looked at each other. When did their kids become such hams?
"Kids! Who can figure them out?" Niles sighed to Prudence.
"Yes, you’ve certainly got your hands full" she replied.
"Well, at least now I have my Snookums to help me with them." He reached over and covered C.C.’s hand with his. She tried to pull away but he wouldn’t let her. "She’s so great with them, they love her a lot."
"Really! In my experience, kids don’t like C.C. at all. Of course they’re not the only ones."
Niles frowned at this. She was really starting to annoy him with her sly digs at C.C. That was his job, not her mothers’. And why was C.C. just sitting there, letting her get away with it?
With the departure of the children, things returned to relative normality. The adults finished their meal, then Niles, C.C. and Prudence adjourned to the living-room leaving Fran and Max the task of clearing the dishes and making coffee.
Prudence sat in a chair while Niles joined C.C. on the sofa. He slipped his arm around her and idly traced finger-patterns along her upper arm. Every now and then he would lean towards her and blow in her ear or press a light kiss to her hair.
C.C. became increasingly edgy at his behaviour. He was driving her insane, and he knew it. She was longing to put things back on an even keel by hurling a derogatory remark his way, but she just wasn’t able to. What was even more annoying to her though was the knowledge that she was enjoying his touches.
Idle chitchat filled the evening. Prudence continued to subtly criticise C.C. whenever the opportunity arose, with each remark C.C. became more withdrawn and Niles became more irritated. Fran and Max made an early escape after serving the coffee. Finally, after what seemed an eternity, Prudence yawned and announced she was ready for bed. A flurry of good-nights followed and she retired to her room.
Niles, having completed a quick survey of his kitchen ensuring Max and Fran hadn’t trashed it, arrived in the master bed-room to find C.C. rifling through the drawers.
"Ooh, snooping are we? You have been learning from me after all!"
"Shut-up Niles" she snapped. "I’m looking for some aspirin. I’ve got a killer head-ache."
"No need to feign a head-ache with me Miss Babcock, I wouldn’t touch you with a ten-foot pole!"
"Butler Boy, I’m sure you’ve got nothing like a ten-foot pole to touch me with!" she retorted.
"You’ll never find out!" He looked at her and seeing the obvious signs of her head-ache took pity on her. He went into the en-suite and came out with a bottle of aspirin. He handed it to her.
"Thanks." She quickly swallowed a couple and lay back against the pillows, waiting for the relief to hit.
"Why do you do it?" he asked.
"Do what?"
"Fight with me at the slightest provocation, yet sit there like a chastised child while your mother runs you into the ground?"
"I don’t!"
"Do so!"
"I’m not discussing this. Especially with you!" She got up and went to the suit-case Max had brought for her. ‘How sweet of him’ she thought. Searching through it she realise it didn’t contain a nightie. ‘Damn!’
"Why not me?" Niles inquired.
"Because I despise you."
"But…Snookums!…."
"Will you stop with that ‘Snookums’ crap!"
Niles affecting a wounded sigh, went and folded back the bed covers.
"What the hell are you doing?" she cried.
"Getting ready for bed."
"There’s no way in hell I’m letting you sleep in that bed!"
"But, Snoo…" catching C.C.’s deadly glare, he changed tack. "Miss Babcock. We have to make this look good. What if your mother was to walk in?"
"My mother is NOT going to walk in!"
Niles and C.C. looked at each other in horror as, at that very moment, there was a brief tap on the door and Prudence walked in.
"Max." she said. "I don’t like to tell tales…but, I just saw your nanny sneak into your butler’s room."
"Ok. Thank-you Prudence, I’ll be right there to deal with them." He walked to the door, muttering about people who couldn’t go without for just one night! He turned back to C.C. "I’ll be right back…darling."
A few minutes later, Niles found himself in the unusual position of hammering on his own bed-room door. Prudence was standing right behind him, not wanting to miss out on the action.
"NILES! MISS FINE! Come out here immediately!"
Max yanked the door open looking extremely annoyed. Fran stood behind him clutching her blouse closed. The noise had woken the kids and they had all come out to see what the commotion was about.
"For the love of God, you two. How many times do I have to tell you…there are children in the house?" Niles shot his friends an apologetic look.
Grace, summing up the situation, seized the chance to act out another scene. She flung herself at Niles and buried her face against his waist. "Make them stop, Daddy!" she wailed "They’re scarring me….psychologically….for life."
Niles bit back a grin. This kid was going to make a fine actress one day. "There, there Gracie" he patted her reassuringly on the back. He turned accusingly to Fran and Max. "You see what you’ve done!"
"Sorry Sir" they mumbled.
"Sorry’s not going cut it this time. I’m afraid I’m going to have to let you both go. You’ll finish up at the end of the week!" Niles could hardly contain his glee at saying that.
Fran and Max gasped.
"No! no arguments, I’ve made up my mind" he turned and walked down the hallway, resisting the urge to jump up and click his heels together.
Prudence stayed to smirk at Fran and Max.
"Come on Fran" said Maggie, pulling her away from Max. "I’ll walk you back to your room."
Fran waved forlornly at Max as she was led away. He waved forlornly back. Once she had disappeared from his view, he glared at Prudence and slammed the door shut.
Brighton and Grace looked at each other. He draped his arm around her shoulders as they walked away. "What a shame" he sighed "You know? I always liked them!"
"Me too!"
They both shook their heads sadly as they continued walking.
Niles was still chuckling as he re-entered the room. C.C. was nowhere in sight. The door to the en-suite was closed. He called out to her. "Babcock?"
"I’m in here! I’m getting changed. Don’t come in."
"Wouldn’t dream of it! I don’t want nightmares."
"I heard that Niles!"
"You were supposed to!" He striped down to his boxers and under-shirt. He quickly hung up the tux and leapt into the bed. He sat up against the pillows and smoothed out the sheet. He could feel his heart tattooing in his chest. Ka-thunk, Ka-thunk, Ka-thump. ‘What is that? Anticipation? Excitement? Another heart attack?’
C.C. emerged from the bath-room. She was wearing Fran’s sexy nightwear. She had on three nighties, one on top of the other and two nightgowns!
"What the hell is that? The layered look?" snickered Niles.
"Oh, for heaven’s sake, Niles, I had nothing else to wear."
"You could have asked. I’d have lent you a t-shirt." His heart started dancing oddly again as he pictured her wearing one of his shirts.
She walked to the bed resigned to the fact she would be sharing it with him. "Ok, Spray’n’Wipe, shove over."
"No way! I sleep on this side of the bed."
"Not tonight you don’t. Now move." She sat down heavily on the thin edge that remained beside him, crushing his hand beneath her.
"Ouch! What are you? An elephant?" he cried, hastily scooting to the other side of the bed. He held his injured hand in front of him examining the damage.
"Don’t be such a baby!" ‘This is good, C.C’ she was thinking to herself ‘Keep fighting with him and you’ll stay in control.’ "Oh, well…good night!" She reached out and turned off the bed-side light. She turned her back to him and flopped down.
"Not so fast, Babcock!" He turned the light on his side back on. "We’ve got things to discuss."
Heaving a sigh, C.C. sat up again. "What is it Niles?"
"When are you going to tell you mother the truth? Or will you be sending out wedding invitations shortly?"
"Of course not! I’ll tell her in a couple of months that we broke up."
"Why not tell the truth?"
"Huh! You obviously don’t know my mother."
"Oh, I think I’m starting to know your mother!"
"What’s that ‘posed to mean?"
"Just what I alluded to earlier. She treats you like dirt!"
"So do you!"
"Yea, but you don’t let ME get away with it! Why do you let her?"
C.C. abruptly turned away from him and lay back down indicating that the conversation was over. Niles looked at her in frustration. Realising he wasn’t going to get any answers, he copied her actions, turning off the light as he did so. If he’d pressed the issue, he would have seen the silent tears on C.C.’s face.
C.C. awoke four hours later to find herself snuggled against Niles whose arms were wrapped around her. She started to analyze how she felt about that before deciding she didn’t want to. Propping herself up slightly, she looked at Niles’ sleeping face. Reaching up as though she was going to caress him…she suddenly grabbed his nose and gave it a sharp twist. She rolled away quickly as he instinctively released his hold.
"Oww." Niles rubbed his throbbing nose and glared suspiciously at C.C.’s apparently sleeping form. ‘You’ll get yours Babcock’ he thought ‘You’ll get yours!’
The next time C.C. woke she was alone in the bed. She heard both the shower running and Niles’ warbling. Grateful for the privacy she quickly dressed and exited the room, neatly avoiding a morning battle of wits with him.
Breakfast that morning was a relatively quiet affair. Max burnt the toast. Prudence dominated the conversation, talking mainly about herself. She continued to criticise C.C. who continued to say nothing. The only break in this pattern was the children who would interrupt her to beg their ‘father’ the change his mind about ‘firing’ the nanny and butler. Niles steadfastly refused.
After breakfast, Niles and C.C. once again found themselves entertaining Prudence in the living-room. The children had gone to school, Fran and Max had disappeared, presumably making up for their lost night. The small-talk dragged endlessly and neither C.C. nor Niles could wait for 1pm, Prudence’s schedule departure time.
Quickly becoming bored, Niles decided to create a little fun, at least for himself. "NILES!"
Max arrived at top of the stairs looking deshevelled and more than a little annoyed. "Yes Sir, what is it?" he asked through gritted teeth.
"Just wanted to make sure you hadn’t forgotten about cleaning the down-stairs bathroom this morning!"
Looking desperately back in the direction of his bed-room, Max sent Niles a pleading look which was completely ignored. "Ah, yes Sir, I’ll do it straight away" he said finally. He descended the stairs and went about gathering the necessary supplies.
He arrived back a few minutes later wearing Niles’ apron and rubber gloves and carrying a bucket and mop. He disappeared into the bathroom clearly having no idea how to perform the task ahead of him.
After five minutes or so listening to Max bang and curse, Prudence stood up. "Max could I use your phone?" she asked Niles. "I really need to ring the airport and confirm my reservation."
"By all means. Why don’t you use the one in the kitchen?" he replied, eager to be rid of her even if only for a few minutes.
The second her mother left the room C.C. snatched her hand, which Niles had been holding, away from him. She opened her mouth to berate him for it when the door-bell rang. Twin looks of horror swept over their faces.
Fran, having heard the door, came bounding down the stairs, if the caller was a member of her family she’d have to get rid of them pronto! She peered through the peep-hole."Oh my God!"
"What? Who is it?" demanded C.C.
"It’s Andrew Lloyd Webber!" Fran hissed hysterically.
"Mrs Sheffield! This is not the time for joking" said Niles, getting up to look for himself. "Oh my God!"
"Very funny, you two! C.C. decided to have a look for herself. "Oh my God!"
"What do we do?" asked Fran.
"We have to let the man in. He knows we’re here!" sighed Niles.
C.C. glanced anxiously at the kitchen door. She could hear her mother still talking on the phone. Good! Maybe they still had a chance. Niles opened the door.
"Is Maxwell Sheffield in?" asked The Man Himself.
Niles stared at him blankly totally lost for a reply. Andrew, spying C.C. hovering behind Niles, pushed past him and entered the room. "C.C. my dear, how lovely to see you again! How are you?"
"Fine Andrew. Just fine." Answered C.C., her voice coming out in a high squeak. "And you?"
"Very well thank-you. Look I know it’s a bit rude of me just arriving like this…but I was wondering if I could have a brief word with Maxwell."
"I’m terribly sorry Andrew, Maxwell’s not available at the moment."
Unfortunately just then Max came out of the bathroom. He was crawling on his hands and knees, he’d given up trying to work out the squeezy-mop and washed the floor by hand. Not wanting to dirty the floor again he had simply kept on crawling. He was filthy. His clothing was covered in powered ajax which was also smeared across his face and all through his hair.
"Um…Sir…you have a visitor."
Maxwell lifted his head and found himself looking at the face of his arch-rival. "OH MY GOD!" He jumped up and brushed himself off, succeeding only in spreading the mess even further. "Andrew, What a surprise!" He stuck out a hand, forgetting he was wearing rubber gloves.
"Clearly I’ve caught you at a bad time" Andrew said to him, ignoring the out-stretched hand. "I’ll call you later."
"Nonsense Andrew." Max said, desperately trying to regain his dignity. "What did you want to see me about?"
"Well…I was going to talk to you about the prospect of us co-producing a project together" he said doubtfully, obviously having second thoughts about working with a man who scrubbed his own toilet while his butler stood around doing nothing. "Look. I’ll have my people call yours." He beat a hasty retreat, eager to escape.
"Andrew, wait…." Max was too late. Andrew Lloyd Webber was already in his limousine speeding away. Max closed the door and turned to the others who were standing there with their collective jaws hanging open. "Oh well, I didn’t want to work with him anyway." He said thinly.
"I can’t let you do this Maxwell, go after him" C.C. urged.
"But, what about your mother?" he asked, clearly wishing to go.
"Don’t worry about it Maxwell." C.C. looked at Niles "I guess it’s time I told her the truth." She walked to the kitchen pausing briefly before entering to draw a deep breath and visibly square her shoulders. She entered, leaving the door swinging a few times behind her.
After her departure Max raced out the door.
"Er…Honey…the gloves…" Fran called. Max sheepishly came back in, peeling off the rubber gloves.
"Sir, why don’t I get you a face-cloth and towel?" Niles offered, feeling responsible for his predicament.
Fran and Niles spent the next five minutes making Max semi-presentable. As soon as he exited, Niles and Fran looked at each other, without saying a word they ran to the kitchen door assuming their eaves-dropping positions.
"…..and that’s the whole story." C.C. was saying.
Prudence threw back her head and laughed nastily. "Of course it is! That makes much more sense!" she exclaimed. "Imagine me…actually believing that YOU had snared yourself a Broadway producer! Look at you….you’re not even in his league. God, you’re such an embarrassment to me, always have been. Even as a child you were completely unlovable. Poor plain C.C., I’m so glad I never told any of my friends back home of your so called engagement!"
Completely humiliated, C.C. ran out the back door choking back her sobs.
Incensed by what he’d just overheard, Niles stormed into the kitchen. He placed his hands, slightly spread, on the table in front of where Prudence was sitting. "Lady, you are some piece of work!" he thundered. "You have been gifted with an intelligent, beautiful, amazing daughter and all you can do is hurt her. How dare you!" Shaking with rage, he drew a steadying breath. He continued in a slightly calmer tone. "For as long as I’ve know her I’ve always wondered why she just couldn’t open up and be herself. Now I know…it’s because of you….you took a sweet, innocent, vulnerable little girl and you BROKE HER!!!" He slammed his hand down forcefully on the table.
"I didn’t break her, she was always imperfect" sneered Prudence cruelly.
Niles had never hit a woman in his life but he was within a hair’s breath of it at that moment. Fran, sensing this, placed a warning hand on his shoulder. "Niles" she said quietly "calm down."
Niles made a supreme effort to rein in his anger. "Get out!" he ordered evenly. "Get out and don’t come back! We don’t want you here…and C.C. certainly doesn’t need you in her life. Now go!" He pulled her out of the chair and pushed her out the door, slamming it behind her.
When he turned to Fran he saw she had tears in her eyes. "Oh Niles! Poor C.C….you have to go and find her!"
"That’s exactly what I’m just going to do" he said, snatching up the car keys.
"And Niles…" Fran said as he reached the door. He turned. "…tell her that you love her. She needs to know."
He stared at her for a split second before giving a single nod. Wordlessly he left the house.
After he’d gone Fran picked up the phone and dialled. "Ma?…it’s me….no, nothing’s wrong…I just wanted to tell you I love you."
Twenty minutes later Niles hammered on C.C.’s door.
"C.C.! It’s Niles…Open up!"
No answer.
"C.C., I know you’re in there!"
"Go away Niles."
"Not until I’ve talked to you."
Niles heard movements and suddenly the door opened. By the time he’d entered and closed it, C.C. was back on the sofa. She was sitting with her knees drawn up to her chest and her eyes were red-rimmed. She looked utterly miserable. Niles’ heart ached at the sight. He sat down beside her.
"Your mother is a total bitch!" he said bluntly.
"No she’s not Niles. Can’t you see….she’s right, about everything. I’m a disgrace! I’m plain, awkward, and as she said, totally unlovable!" Tears welled again in her eyes.
"She’s wrong! You’re a smart, sexy, classy lady! And as for being unlovable…that’s not true either, because…I love you" he finished quietly.
C.C. looked at him oddly for a few moments and then smiled bitterly. "No you don’t Niles. You’re just being nice because you pity me."
"Don’t tell me what I feel, I know the difference between pity and love and I’m telling you I’m in love with you" he responded firmly. Seeing uncertainty beginning to flicker across her face, he swallowed hard and asked "…Do you love me?"
C.C. stared at him for a minute before sadly shaking her head. "I’m sorry Niles."she said thickly. A single tear rolled down her cheek. "But I love Maxwell."
Niles felt like he’d been kicked in the stomach. He’d never really believed her feelings for Max were that serious. "Oh!"he stammered "I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything. L..look I’ll go. I just wanted to make sure you were ok."
Shattered, he made his way to the door, eager to get out of there. In spite of his heart-break, he couldn’t resist one last look back at her. She’d buried her head in her hands and was starting to cry again. Through his own pain, he felt a wave of compassion for her. If her feelings for Max were anywhere near the same as his own were her, then she must have been through absolute hell the last few years watching as Max and Fran romanced and then wed. He also realised that as bad as he was feeling at that moment, he would be able to eventually find solace in the knowledge that he was cared about by others…the Sheffields, his own family, his friends…C.C., he now knew, did not have that same comfort.
Suddenly, he knew that making her truly believe that she was loved was what was most important to him. More important than sparing himself more pain. More important than having her love him back. Swallowing what was left of his pride, he walked back towards her.
"Listen" her said to her. "I know I’ve already made a fool of myself here…but I want to tell you what I feel…properly…." C.C. opened her mouth to stop him. But he held up his hand to her. "No, let me do this" he said "I’ll say what I want to say and then I’ll never mention it again….I promise."
He came and sat on the coffee-table in front of her. He was silent for a moment as he strived to find the right words. "C.C" he began, falteringly. "You’re the other part of me. When you enter a room I come alive inside, it’s as if someone throws a switch on inside me. I feel a connection with you I’ve never felt with another person. Intellectually… and physically… you stimulate me in a way no one else ever has. Whether we’re fighting, laughing or just talking, it’s like we’re in our own separate zone, one reserved only for us. When I’m near you, my body tingles in acknowledgement of your presence. I desire you and it’s not because you’re beautiful, although God knows you are, but because of who you are, the whole package. You’re my soul-mate C.C. I love you." He watched her face as she absorbed his words, hoping he’d said the right things and praying that one day she’d believe it. Finally he stood up. He leaned over and lightly kissed her cheek. "I’ll see you tomorrow. Take care." He said huskily.Again he headed towards the door. Unshed tears burning his eyes.
"Niles, wait!"
He turned.
After another silent pause, she continued. "Are you telling me that those…things you just said, that they’re feelings of adult love…true love…man/woman love?" she said, fumbling for the correct phrase.
"Yes" he said, a little confused.
"Oh" C.C. replied in a small voice.
"What did you think love was?"
"Feeling comfortable with a person, having things in common with them, liking them!"
"C.C. …." Niles replied, a little incredulously "That’s what they call friendship! Is THAT what you feel for Max?"
C.C. gave a small nod, obviously trying to sort it all out.
"And those other feelings? The ones I talked about. Have you ever felt those?"
Another small nod.
"For Chandler?" he asked, grimacing in distaste at the thought of her former boyfriend.
This time her response was quicker. She shook her head. "No, not Chandler."
"For me?" he asked, scarcely daring to hope.
Ever so slowly C.C. nodded her head, a watery grin breaking out on her face.
Immediately Niles felt the cold knot of dread, which had settled in his stomach, dissipate as it was replaced by a sudden burst of happiness. Beaming he opened his arms out to her. "Come here."
C.C. all but leapt into his embrace. Enfolded in his arms, she felt loved and cherished for the first time in her life. Unexpectedly, she burst into tears. Soon she was sobbing deep heart-wrenching sobs.
Niles simply held her as she released the pain of her loveless childhood and began the slow process of healing herself.
After what seemed an eternity, C.C. raised her head. "Sorry about that. I didn’t mean to" she said, reaching for the box of tissues on the coffee table. She gave her nose a loud blow.
Niles drew her close once more. "It’s okay, I figure you were entitled to a good cry." He wiped the remaining tears off her face with his thumbs. "Umm, C.C., I know I should be kissing you about now…but to tell you the truth…I have seen you looking better!" He grinned at her to show her there was no malice behind his words.
C.C. laughed and threw her waded-up tissue at him.
"Eww!" yelped Niles, quickly jumping out of the way.
They both laughed as they felt the remaining tensions of the last hour or so lift away.
"Tell you what," said Niles. "Why don’t you go and have shower, freshen up, and I’ll make us some coffee."
They each went about their tasks, both of them realising they had just past a major turning point in their lives.
Niles was just placing two steaming cups down on the coffee table when C.C. emerged from the bathroom. She was wearing a thick towelling bathrobe and her newly washed hair had been slicked back. Staring at her Niles felt the now familiar thumping in his chest.
"Ya like?" she teased, seeing the desire in his eyes.
"Oh yeah!" he said, crossing the floor to where she stood. "I was going to try and take things slowly here. But…" At this, he pulled her into his arms and descended his mouth to hers. She received his kiss eagerly as she finally allowed herself to fully explore the strength of her passion for this man.
After a while, C.C. dimly became aware of their location. "Niles…" she said, her voice coming out as a barely audible gasp.
Niles didn’t hear her, his attention (and lips) firmly fixed on nuzzling her right breast.
"Niles!" she repeated, a little louder this time. He raised his head, suddenly afraid he’d gone too fast for her. His fears were quickly allayed when she gave him a wicked grin. "Come here you!" She grabbed his shirt lapels and dragged him through to her bedroom.
A long while later, they were both lying on their backs staring at her ceiling, each of them sharing the same, singular thought. ‘WOW!’
"Niles," C.C. said, once her breathing had slowed. "It’s not a ten-foot pole, but it’s not bad!"
He let out a surprised guffaw, recalling their quips from the previous night. "I thought you were a while down there…what were you doing…measuring it?"
"Nah…comparing it!"
"And?"
"It’ll do."
"Why, you…" He suddenly rolled on top of her and began tickling her sides.
"NILES! STOP IT!" she shrieked with laughter.
Presently he stopped. In their struggles he had captured her wrists and now held them, pinned above her head, preventing her from giving him the same treatment. "You know, they say it’s not the size that counts, it’s what you do with it." He lowered his head to hers and proceeded to demonstrate.
Later they were lying tucked up in her bed, C.C. was snuggled against Niles and he was lightly stroking her hair. His mood had sobered as he reflected upon the day’s events.
"C.C.?"
"Mmm?"
"I’ve said some pretty nasty things to you in the past. If I had any idea about your mother, I would never have…"
"Don’t Niles!" she interrupted. "It was always different with you. With her, I knew she meant what she said… you, I knew, never did!"
"Oh I meant some of it…Witch!" he teased.
She slapped him playfully on his chest, pleased to realise that aspect of their relationship wasn’t going to disappear altogether.
"Seriously though, I want you to know that I’m going to spend the rest of my life trying to make up to you all the love and affection you’ve missed" he vowed.
"I know you will, and…I love you for it" she said, knowing she hadn’t actually said those words earlier.
Niles caught the significance of her words and tilted her head back to gently kiss her lips.
She snuggled back down against him. "I still think you’re a pathetic, worthless excuse for a man though!" she said, unable to resist.
He chuckled softly, "Ditto, Snookums, ditto!"
Finally, they slept.
QUOTE: One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: that word is love. (Sophocles).
The End
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