Back to Fan Fictionby
Casey
(SingC25@aol.com)
Maggie is sitting on the couch with C.C. and Fran patting C.C.'s very pregnant belly
Maggie: I can't believe it's already almost been 9 months since you found out you were pregnant!
C.C.:I still can't believe I'm pregnant!
Fran: Yeah, well, I can't believe a lot of things! I can't believe I'm living in a mansion in California, I can't believe I have 5 kids after being married for a year, I can't believe it took Max 5 years to ask me to marry him, but most of all I can't believe Ma is still bugging me after all these years!
Sylvia enters the room, Fran rolls her eyes
Sylvia: Hi sweetheart.
Fran:Hi Ma. What's up?
Sylvia: Well, I thought I'd come see my grandbabies.
Fran:Oy Ma! You just left 5 minutes ago!
Sylvia: Has it been that long?
Fran: Since what Ma? You ate last?
Sylvia: If I wanted to be pestered, I woulda stayed home with your daddy.
under her breath
Fran: I wish you woulda.
Sylvia: Wha?
Fran:I said, uh... Where's Yetta.
Sylvia: I think she's in the kitchen.
Fran: Ma, that's your spot remember? Not Yetta's.
Sylvia: Well I remember, but she doesn't.
Yetta waddles into the living room
Yetta: I don't remember what?
Sylvia: You don't remember anything.
Yetta: Yes I do.
Yetta looks puzzled suddenly
Yetta: I goo, I jew, I'm a jew! I'm a jew! No no no, I jew, I boo, I go, I do? I do? Who does? They don't? Yah-hoo!
Fran: Oy! She can remember that, but she can't remember her great grandchildren's names.
Yetta: I know their names.
Fran: Then what are their names?
Yetta: Whose?
Fran: Oy. Go home you schmegeggies.
She pauses and looks at Niles who has just entered
Fran: Meanwhile, It won't do any good. They go back to their house, 10 feet away, and as soon as they get there, they come back because Ma's hungry again.
Niles smirks
Sylvia and Yetta exit
Sylvia re-enters
Sylvia: Niles, you wouldn't happen to have any leftovers from last night would you?
Niles: No.
Sylvia:Could you?
Niles: How can I make leftovers?
Sylvia: Make a new batch!
Fran looks at her
Fran: Ma, don't make Niles cook! He has to take care of C.C.!
Sylvia: I don't see a baby walkin' around here yet.
Fran: Oy Ma! Make your own food.
Sylvia: You don't have to be such a schmendrick!
She exits again
Fran: What'd I tell ya Niles? It doesn't do any good for her to leave! Whose brilliant idea was it to move her into the guest house anyway?
Niles: I believe it was her idea.
He points to the door Sylvia had exited through.
C.C.:AHHHH!
Everyone piles into the room
Everyone: What's the matter?
C.C.: Oh My GOD! It's time!
Yetta looks confused
Yetta: Time for what?
C.C.: The delivery!
Yetta: Who ordered pizza?
C.C.: The delivery of the baby you blundering fool! AHHHHHH!
Yetta: Whose?
C.C.: AHHHHHH! MINE!
Yetta: You're pregnant?!
Yetta leans over to Fran and cups her hand over her mouth as if to tell a secret
Yetta: No wonder! I thought she was getting wider!
Fran rolls her eyes
Fran: Gracie, Grab C.C.'s bag! Everyonein the car now!
Niles: Oh my God! In a few hours I'm going to be a father!
C.C.: Would you get in the car?! AHHHH! This is your fault!!!!!
Niles: Mine?! It takes two to tango you know!
C.C.: Shut- UP!! AHHHH!
She clutches her stomach in pain
Later at the hospital in the delivery room, C.C. is lying in the bed with Niles at her side holding her hand moaning in pain
Niles: Darling, you are so beautiful.
C.C.: Shut-up! I look like...AHHH! Hell!
Niles: No you don't!
C.C.: Ahhh! Yes I do!
Doctor: I think I see the head. Push!
C.C.: AHHHHHH!
Niles: Breathe honey breathe!
C.C.: Damn it Niles! You try to push something that weighs almost 10 pounds out of you and breathe at the same time!
Niles makes a face of pain
In the hallway
Fran: Oh! I hear C.C. screaming at Niles! I bet the doctors can see the head!
Max: And how do you know that?
Fran points to sylvia holding the twins
Fran: HELLOOO!??
Later the doctors enter the waiting room
Doctor: The baby has been delivered. You can go see him if you'd like.
Gracie: Oh good! Let's go guys!
At the window Yetta is gazing at the baby
Yetta: Frannie, that baby looks nothing like you!
Fran: Yetta, that's probably because it's C.C.s baby!
Yetta: Shame on you Frannie! You're cheating on him? And with a woman?!
Fran: Yetta!!! Niles is the father, and C.C. is the mother!
Yetta: OHHHH!
Maggie: Should we go see C.C.?
Max: Yeah, let's go.
In the delivery room
Fran: Hi honey. How are you feeling?
C.C.: I was fine until you started talking.
She holds her ear
Fran smiles at her
Max: Well?
C.C.: How do you think I feel?
Max: Glad it's over?
C.C.: I feel like Crap!
Fran laughs
Fran: I feel your pain.
C.C.: Oh no you don't.
Fran: Excuse Me? I gave birth to 2 at once!
C.C.: OOH!
She winces
The nurse brings the baby back in
Maggie: Oh! He's so cute!
Brighton: Well thank you I try!
Maggie: Not you, you twit. The baby!
C.C.: Oh, thank you. We did make a beautiful baby didn't we Niles?
Niles: ALmost as beautiful as you.
Everyone smiles
The End
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