by
Aimee
(aimeed@earthlink.net)
"I'm too busy to play word games with you today. Go sniff some Formula 409, I have work to do." CC swept by Niles absent-mindedly, her mind on the pile of paperwork awaiting her in the office, all of which had to be done for a three o'clock meeting with the director of their new show.
"But Caca, Mr. Sheffield is already working on something, and it's something you should know about before you go in there." Niles followed her down the hall like a child following his mother.
CC stopped in her tracks with a groan and turned to Niles. "Let me guess . . . He's in there with his Trampy Cathy doll again." Her expression was irritated, but her eyes were merely tired. She'd long since accepted that Fran had stolen Maxwell's heart, but she could never reconcile herself to Fran's constant interference with work. Fran just had to take the only thing CC had left, didn't she?
Just then, the doll in question came down the stairs, suitably attired in a Pepto-Bismol pink suit. "Hello, Niles, Miss Babcock. What's going on?"
CC turned to Niles. "You scum! You just wanted to get me behind in my work to spite me, didn't you?" She turned and stormed towards the office.
"Miss Babcock! Wait!" Niles followed her. He stopped just long enough to turn to Fran and snap, "You stay here."
Needless to say, Fran followed immediately.
CC was the first one to burst through the office door, with Niles following a close second and Fran teetering along, hampered by her heels.
CC skidded to a halt so fast Niles crashed into her. Her eyes went wide with horror. "Maxwell! What is going on here?"
"Has it been that long for you?" Niles murmured into her ear. "It's been a while for me, but even I can interpret this script."
Maxwell Sheffield stared at his three employees in shock and embarrassment. The dainty, dark-haired starlet in his arms gave them an embarrassed smile.
CC turned to the others. "That's the second lead from our show!" she exclaimed in outrage.
Fran's mouth hung wide open. "Well it looks like she's leading lady now!" She turned and ran out.
Niles glared at Maxwell. "Oh, sir! You bastard!" He followed Fran, leaving a bemused and uncomfortable CC alone with Maxwell and the girl.
The two pulled apart reluctantly. "I do apologize, CC," Max said, wiping her lipstick from his mouth with his handkerchief. "Tessa and I were just -- well, I wasn't expecting you to be in early this morning."
CC ignored him, focussing her attention on the girl. "That's not how you get the lead in a Sheffield Babcock Production," she said coldly. "Maxwell, I can't support your taste in women, but if you're going to carry on, I can and do insist she be removed from the show. It's unprofessional and it makes us look like fools."
Tessa gave Maxwell a look of distress. Maxwell melted. "Now, CC, don't overreact. There is no reason for that. It was just a friendly kiss. Tessa came over to drop off her new publicity photographs."
"Good, I'll call up Playboy and arrange a centerfold immediately. Meanwhile, either no more friendly kisses, or you get her out of our show!"
Max crossed the room in two strides to glare down at his partner. "CC, I am not stupid. I realize you're jealous, but kindly don't make a spectacle of yourself. And just to make sure we're clear on this, you do not have the authority to remove Tessa from our production."
CC gasped. "Since when?"
"Since it seems you've forgotten, you are the Assistant Producer. You know, that thing where I'm in charge?"
CC went pale with rage. She had broken her own heart over this man a thousand times and more, and gradually begun to accept that she would never be his. But despite his romantic disinterest, he had never, ever, shown her anything less than perfect respect. It was the first time he had ever treated her as anything less than his partner and equal
CC snatched a pile of papers from the desk and stomped out. "I'll be in the kitchen if you need me for anything -- for instance, explaining to you how to do it. God only knows you can't accomplish anything else without me to spoon-feed you."
When CC stormed through the kitchen door, Niles was waiting with a shot of Johnny Black. The bottle was on the table, where Miss Fine was evidently drinking straight out of it.
CC downed hers in one gulp. Niles sat down between the two women and seized the bottle. He started to pour, then sighed, "Oh, what the hell." He threw back his head and chugged, then passed the bottle to CC.
The master was clearly at work. Niles and Fran watched in wordless admiration as the bottle tilted farther and farther up, and they could see the delicate movements of her throat as she swallowed
"Here, lemme try that," said Fran.
"I'll go get another bottle," said Niles.
When he got back, CC was saying to a spluttering Fran, "No, the trick is to take tiny sips very rapidly. Don't gulp it like you're doing a shot."
Fran dropped her head on the table and moaned. "Stick a fork in me, Niles, I'm finished." Niles filed that comment for future reference. With a little variation, it would be a great insult for Miss Babcock.
"Are you giving up already?" he demanded.
"I can't stand seeing him in the arms of another woman! I just can't do it!"
"Yes, you can, if you ever want him in your arms."
"But I'm not sure I do anymore!"
CC stood, eyes blazing. "Nanny Fine, you whining little tramp, if you're giving up already then you don't really love him, and that whore in there might as well keep him! I personally don't give a damn which of you he wants, or if your pointless little life is ending, I'm taking her down myself whether you want to help or not."
"Oh, for God's sake," Niles snapped. "When will you get it through your head that he'll never want you?"
CC glared at him. "I already have. I try and try to get over him, to put it behind me and not fight it. But you know what makes it so damn hard to do? The fact that neither of you can ever let me forget it. Maybe if you'd just find a new insult, you'd be in for a pleasant surprise."
Niles and Fran looked at her in astonishment. Fran pointed out, "Well, if you don't want him any more, why are you so determined to take her down?"
CC glanced at Niles with lifted brows. "The intercom wasn't working?"
"I think he unplugged it."
"That's cheating!" she said, outraged. "Maxwell's not playing fair."
"So, why?" Fran prompted.
"Because he just humiliated me in front of her. Not only did he accuse me of being jealous, but when I demanded that he fire her he told me I had to take orders from him and didn't have the authority to make decisions like that."
Her audience was stunned. Niles was deeply offended on her behalf. "You've always spoken with his voice before," he complained. "Everybody on Broadway is terrified of you for precisely that reason. He's the pretty face and you're the muscle. He's Natasha to your Boris!"
CC upended the remains of the second bottle of Johnny Black over his head.
"Okay, listen up," said CC the next afternoon. The three conspirators were all gathered in the kitchen again, but due to agonizing hangovers, they'd switched to Haagen Daaz. "I've got bad news. We have to work fast, but I think we can turn it into an opportunity. You know the party he's having here tonight? He's taking her."
Fran moaned. Niles banged his head on the table. When he raised his eyes, it was to see CC gazing at him almost fondly. "I love it when you do that," she remarked. "Now let's get down to business. Niles," she said. "Her gown is upstairs hanging in his closet because he's bringing her back here after rehearsal for the party. We're going to make some embarrassing adjustments to it. I'll need some time alone with it. Nanny Fine, have you rehearsed the children?"
"They're ready for action, Miss Babcock."
"Good. Niles, find out if she has any food allergies. Does Maxwell?"
"None that I know of."
"Damn."
Just then, the object of their attention came through the door. "Good afternoon," she said coolly. "I'd like some water, please."
Niles ignored her, but a little smirk played on his lips.
"Are you deaf? I want some water."
CC eyed her icily. "Were you raised in a barn? It's very low class to be rude to the servant. Isn't it, Spic 'N' Span?"
This brought on hysterics from Fran and Niles.
"Niles," said Fran, sugar-sweet. "Could I have some water?"
Niles got up and brought back two Waterford Crystal cups full of spring water. He set one down in front of Fran and the other in front of CC. "Thank you, Niles," CC said, smiling. "You're always so thoughtful and efficient."
"Miss Babcock, your beauty is outshone only by your good breeding." In her ear, he whispered, "Let me guess. A Texas Longhorn crossed with a Santa Fe Gertrudis." CC giggled for Tessa's benefit, and dug her nails into his leg under the table.
Tessa went to the refrigerator, pulled out a bottle of water, and stalked out.
Fran put a bit of rum raisin ice cream on her spoon and flipped it at her back, but her timing was off and it hit the door just as it swung shut.
"Niles, have you got a turkey baster?" CC asked.
Niles rooted around in a drawer and produced one. "What's this for?"
CC squeezed the turkey baster near his ear, and he could feel the rush of air. "To offer the little airhead a refill."
Niles smiled at her, one of the few sincere smiles she'd ever received from him. "You're so beautiful when you're being evil to anyone but me," he told her, receiving her brightest smile in return.
Even Fran started to perk up. With Niles and CC on the case, no mere ingenue stood a chance.
The intercom buzzed. "Niles, would you bring us some coffee?" Max asked.
"Yes, sir." Niles made a certain gesture at the intercom.
He began to assemble a tray. Coffee, cream, and sugar for Max, a bottle of sweet 'n' low for Tessa. He then went upstairs and came back down with a small box. He removed a few pills from it and crumbled them into the bottom of one of the cups.
CC admired his work. "Ex-lax in the coffee. A classic of the genre."
Niles shrugged. "Predictable but effective and nearly untraceable. It'll get her into the bathroom long enough for you to do your dirty deed with her dress, and have I told you how much I can't wait to find out what you're going to do?"
"In half an hour," said CC.
Niles crumbled another pill into the cup. "Twenty minutes," he said.
Fran tore into the kitchen. "Now! Now!" she hissed. "She just made a run for it."
CC took command. "Niles, the dress, and quickly. Fran, ketchup."
Niles laid the dress out on the island. CC opened the dishwasher. "So if anyone comes, we can shove it in to hide it," she explained.
"Use the cupboard," said Niles. "It's drier, so no evidence."
CC held the white beaded evening gown up to Fran, who was closest in size to Tessa. She selected a spot in the back just where her bum connected with her legs and put the dress on the kitchen island, marking her "target" with a pepper shaker to keep her place.
"I'm scared," said Fran. "She's a real pro."
"She's certainly thorough," Niles replied, never taking his eyes from CC.
CC dabbed the tip of the ketchup against the back of Tessa's dress. "Voila," she said. "Instant humiliation. She'll never be able to face Maxwell or the Broadway community again."
Niles rolled a piece of tin foil into a tube, then fastened it into a circle. He placed the ring on CC's head. "I crown the Queen of Evil Pranks," he said solemnly.
CC inclined her head, accepting the tribute with humble grace. "Well, Napoleon crowned Josephine Empress," she said generously.
Just then, Max wandered into the kitchen. CC barely had time to yank the dress from the island and shove it into a cupboard. "You three seem to be having fun," he said cheerfully. It was the same attitude of deliberate ignorance he'd adopted towards their feelings about Tessa from the beginning.
"We were having fun getting ready for the party," said Fran. "Having parties is so useful. We can serve the leftovers if there just happens to be a wake soon. Or a sudden bris." She vengefully chopped the head off a carrot.
Max rolled his eyes. "Miss Fine, I thought you trusted me more," he said. "Did it ever occur to you that there could be a perfectly justifiable reason for what you saw?"
Fran thought a moment. "No," she said, and turned away to go upstairs.
Niles saw the half-sad, half-appreciative way Max watched her as she walked away. There was more to this situation than met the eye.
"Nice tie, Maxwell," said CC. "Are you wearing that to the party?"
"Well, yes, I thought I would."
CC globbed Rum Raisin ice cream onto it. "Not anymore. Well, guess I'll go home and change into my gown. Bye, Niles."
"Has everyone around here gone mad?" Maxwell protested. Niles, usually his muse and advisor, simply glowered at him.
"Sir, when you're ready to explain yourself, I'm here to listen. But I don't see what reason you could possibly offer that would explain breaking Miss Fine's heart and demoting Miss Babcock."
"You'd be surprised," said Maxwell. "What if I told you it was for their own safety?"
Niles gave him a skeptical look.
"Wow, Miss Babcock, lookin' good," Fran said admiringly. CC wore a gorgeous black lace cocktail dress with cap sleeves, a sweetheart neckline, and a lace-edged hem that fell just at her knees. She wore a short black lace jacket to match.
"You, too, Nanny Fine. Every time you leave the room it will have the same effect as a solar eclipse." Fran's hot pink satin sheath did, indeed, light up a room. "It's so short, tight, and low-cut. A real departure from your normal style."
"Well, I just want Mr. Sheffield to know what he's missing." There was another reason, but it Niles had asked Fran to keep it secret from CC. "By the way, Niles and I added another element to the plan. He's going to flirt with me to try to make Mr. Sheffield jealous." Not entirely the truth, although it wouldn't hurt if it worked. It seemed Niles was taking the opportunity to perform a little romantic manipulation of his own.
"That's utterly ridiculous. I've tried to make him jealous a million times, and it never works. Shut up, Niles," she said, as she sensed the evil vibes invade the room.
Niles, now clad in a tuxedo, descended the last stair into the kitchen with a devil-may-care attitude, giving the two ladies a jaunty wave. "Miss Fine, looking stunning as always. And you, Miss Babcock, you look almost human." He leered at them, twirling an imaginary mustache.
CC laughed at his antics. "All you need is a top hat and a monocle, and a pretty girl to tie to some railroad tracks."
"Ooh, Miss Fine, Miss Babcock thinks we should try bondage. You up for it?"
Fran cast CC a sly look. "Maybe she meant herself."
"Never. She said girl, not ghoul. Anyhow, she's my partner in crime, not kinky sexual perversions."
"Well, anyhow, you look gorgeous in that tux, Niles. Quite the hunk."
"Thank you. Ready to chase away the demon woman and make Miss -- ter Sheffield jealous?"
"Ready."
"Miss Babcock?"
"Oh, yes!" she answered in her low, husky this-is-better-than-sex voice. They both looked at her expectantly. "Niles, you're the straight man. Point out her stain to the guests, find a way of playing up the children's performances, see if you can prompt her into displaying some bad manners. Nanny Fine, are the children ready to play their parts?"
"Ready and waiting upstairs."
"Good. Whatever happens, we three have to stay out of the line of fire so that no one suspects us."
The doorbell rang. "Show time! Break a leg," said CC.
Niles looked at her legs. "Which one?"
"Yours -- the one in the middle. Now get going, you troll." For once, Niles obeyed.
Just as he left, Tessa came down the back stairs. "Listen, Miss Babcock, Miss Fine, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for any trouble I've caused. I didn't mean to hurt anyone, and I wish we could be friends, so can we call a truce, for Maxwell's sake?"
"Truce," said CC, sticking out her hand.
"Truce," said Fran. They shook hands all around.
"You two look great! How do I look?" Tessa twirled around. The stain was clearly visible.
"Absolutely wonderful," said CC.
"A vision," Fran assured her.
As soon as Tessa's back was turned, CC whispered, "How many fingers did you have crossed?"
"All of them."
The party was in full swing. The Sheffield living room was packed. Niles edged his way through the guests carrying a tray of champagne flutes. He pinched Fran's backside right in front of Max and Tessa, and she giggled with apparent pleasure and winked. Max looked strained. "Miss Fine! Niles!" he said impatiently.
Niles edged his way over to CC, who was chatting up some backers. He offered the champagne flutes, and whispered, "Only one at a time, Miss Babcock."
CC eyed her companions, and whispered back, "Champagne, or men?" Niles raised his eyebrows as far as they'd go. He took back the glass she'd just claimed. "You don't need any more," he said.
"But I haven't had a drop yet," she said plaintively.
Niles glared. "Just watch Mr. Sheffield. See if he notices me flirting with Miss Fine."
"I still think that's a stupid, juvenile idea. And get that thing out of the corner. She's hiding her stain."
"You do it. I've already tried and I don't want her getting suspicious."
Niles moved away. CC looked longingly at the champagne before moving in on the pair of backers she was schmoozing.
Niles glared at the trio. Babcock could be so charming when she wanted to be, and she obviously wanted to be. Were these morons too stupid to know it was only a business tool to her? They were hanging on her like she was a supermodel.
Suddenly she turned and winked at him. "Oh, Tessa, darling!" she called "Mr. Bannister and Mr. Smythe are simply dying to meet you. They're both great admirers of yours. Will you come over here, please?"
Double whammy. Embarrass her and introduce her to potential replacements for Mr. Sheffield. It was time to put his own plan into action.
"Daddy, Tessa's mean." Gracie at her compelling best, fluttered her eyelashes at her dad. "She hates kids even more than CC does." She felt a small twinge of conscience -- Aristotle would not have approved of this -- but the fifty dollars in her pocket eased her feelings considerably.
Maggie walked up to them. "Daddy, aren't those my earrings Tessa's wearing?"
"You must be mistaken, sweetheart."
"No, I'm not," they said together.
Brighton appeared on cue. "Ya know, Dad, I'm not sure about this new girlfriend of yours. I think she looks at me conservatively."
"Covetously," corrected Gracie in her high, little-girl voice.
"Yeah, that."
Max just rolled his eyes. "No more of this, or you may all go to your rooms, and you won't get to meet Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston."
The three looked at each other. Hey -- they'd earned their bribes. It might be time to back off a little.
Fran had positioned herself conveniently close to Mr. Sheffield. Niles set down the tray of champagne and moved to her side, slipping an arm around her waist. "Keeping up okay?" he asked her quietly, with a naughty little smile.
"Oh, Niles," she giggled loudly, slapping his chest. "Aren't I supposed to ask you that?"
"I always do," he assured her just loud enough to be heard.
Maxwell broke away from the conversation he was involved in. "May I see you two in the kitchen now?"
Niles shot CC a glance as he walked by. Help, he mouthed silently.
"Maxwell! Come over here immediately," she trilled. "Tessa just had the most marvelous idea for improving the set design." Nothing like slitting your own throat, she thought.
Maxwell turned to Niles and Fran and hissed, "Get in there and stay in there until I'm through."
Maxwell was drawn in and CC slipped away. She booked into the kitchen just in time to see Fran wrap her arms around Niles and plant a kiss right on his lips. She skidded to a halt and stared in horrified fascination. She felt a hot rage shoot through her. She felt like slapping Niles.
She drew herself up as tall as she could. "That's very good. I can't even tell you're acting. Keep it up. Of course, it doesn't look like that will be a problem for Niles, does it? I'd better go get Maxwell." CC turned and fled.
"She is soooooooo jealous. And by the way, mister, you are one hell of a kisser." Fran draped her arms around his neck and rubbed noses with him just as Maxwell stormed in and skidded to a halt.
"Miss Fine! Niles! What is going on here?"
"Hey," Niles said in an offended voice. "You let her get away. Don't expect me to be that stupid."
CC burst in behind them. "Maxwell, do something!"
"Bloody right," he said. "You're both fired." He turned to CC. "Handle the arrangements. You seem to be the only sane one around here."
The three conspirators gazed at each other in dismay.
CC groaned. "I'll talk to him." She exited quickly, her heels clicking on the floor.
Fran looked at Niles anxiously. "You don't think she planned this, do you?"
"Lord, I hope not," he said. "That woman's undefeatable."
Niles moodily tossed Waterford crystal champagne flutes into the trash can, enjoying the sound of shattering.
"Niles, why are you throwing away the champagne flutes?" Fran asked, piling leftover appetizers into Tupperware trays.
"Oh! These aren't disposable? Oh, damn." Niles dropped the can on the floor, resulting in a very satisfying smashing noise. He wondered what Miss Babcock and Mr. Sheffield were saying to each other. Once again, the intercom was off.
"Well, CC, you're the last person I'd ever expect to be defending those two. I thought you'd be happy. After five years in Fran's case and fifteen in Niles', you've proven your point about both of them."
CC hung her head in shame and misery. He was right. She had everything she'd ever wanted in her grasp right now. With Niles and Nanny Fine out of the way, and a humiliated Tessa hibernating in the guestroom talking about slitting her wrists, the way was finally clear for CC. She'd succeeded. She, CC Babcock, had finally won.
So why was she dismantling everything she'd worked so hard for?
"It isn't what it looks like," she said. "They were just trying to make you jealous so you'd love Nanny Fine again."
Maxwell folded his arms and glared at her. "And how do you know this?"
"Because it was my idea." While this wasn't strictly true, she had masterminded the anti-Tessa plot.
"What? CC!"
"None of us like Tessa. Nanny Fine's heart is broken, I've been demoted and humiliated, and Niles is loyal to us. We set out to ruin her and get rid of her, and I masterminded the whole plot."
"What whole plot?"
"That thing where they kissed, and the children saying they didn't like her for Nanny Fine's benefit. Niles was going to find out if you had any allergies and try to make it look like she triggered them."
"And you thought all this up? Again I find myself asking, why?"
"Because you demoted me."
"I did not!"
"Yes you did! You said I didn't have the authority to make hiring and firing decisions, and I've always done so before!"
"In that case, CC, in that case! God, you're my partner! Of course you have that authority."
"Then I have that authority over Tessa."
"No, not her. Listen to me and listen very carefully. Tessa's case is special. There is something you don't know, but believe me, very soon, within the next couple of days at least, I'll be able to explain everything, and you, Niles, and Miss Fine will all understand."
"So you won't fire them? Or me?"
"God help me, no. It's clear to me that you all have gross emotional problems, but I need each and every one of you. All I ask is that from now on, if you and I are in conflict, you bring it to me directly."
"Of course, Maxwell!"
"And promise me that there's really nothing between Niles and Miss Fine."
"Thank god, no!" she said vehemently. When he looked at her strangely, she amended, "I mean, that would be so terrible for you, and poor Nanny Fine would have to sleep with Niles! I mean, ugh!" CC rose.
Maxwell gave her a quick hug. "Why don't we all sleep on it, and hope that it all looks saner in the morning?"
"I'll go tell Nanny Fine and Niles the good news. I'll see you tomorrow, Maxwell."
"Right. And remember, it'll all be clear soon."
CC paused. "Shall I tell Nanny Fine you love her?" Her voice broke on the
L-word.
Maxwell grinned at her. "No, I think that's my job. And I will, when all this is over. By the way, CC?"
"Yes?"
"Any idea how Tessa happened to ruin her dress?"
CC sighed. "These things just happen to a woman sometimes, Maxwell. Of course, I'm not going to pretend I wasn't loving it." With that, she was out the door.
CC followed the trail of Yiddish insults to Niles' room, where she found Niles hugging a weeping Fran.
"You did this to us, you -- " CC's ears burned. Even though she couldn't translate the Yiddish, Fran's tone of voice and eloquent hand gestures more than bridged the language barrier.
"Now stop jumping to conclusions, Niles is too old for that kind of workout. I explained everything and we're all very, very much on his bad side, but nobody's fired."
Niles glanced at her in surprise. "You really did save our jobs?"
"Your jobs, your butts, everything. I even took some of the blame myself. The only thing I categorically denied was knowing anything about her dress. I don't know why I saved you, I mean I've been trying to get rid of both of you for years. But I did. By the way, he's wildly jealous, says he still loves Nanny Fine, I'm not demoted, but there's something very strange going on, and she's involved. He says it'll all be over and back to normal in a couple of days."
She really was undefeatable. Niles gaped at her, suddenly very glad she'd signed on with his team in this whole fiasco.
"Well, I'm off to get a good night's sleep. Ta-ta." She was gone before they could thank her.
Niles watched her go, then suggested to Fran, "How about a celebratory feast? You stay here, I'll go get the leftovers and fetch back Miss Babcock before she leaves."
Fran nodded, and he hurried down the steps.
Maxwell was in the kitchen pouring some coffee. "Well, old man, I'll forgive you for touching Fran if you'll forgive me for lying and jumping to conclusions."
"Done, sir, but would you excuse me? I want to get to Miss Babcock before she leaves."
"Right-o. You know, I'm still a little mad at her. I can't believe this was all her doing and you two were just her schleps."
All her doing? Niles thought as he hurried out. She really stuck her neck on the block for us. "Hey -- schleps?"
CC stuck her beret on her head, not even bothering to achieve the proper degree of tilt to set off her hair. She folded her jacket over her arm and opened the door.
To her surprise, there was a man standing there in a dark suit, also with a coat folded over his arm. "I'm sorry to disturb you so late, but is there a Tessa Richardson here? I need to see her and Maxwell Sheffield immediately."
"I don't know if she's still here, but Maxwell is in his office. May I tell him your name?"
"No," the man said. "You needn't bother to announce me."
He drew back the coat over his arm and CC found herself staring into the shining barrel of a pistol.
Niles arrived just in time to see CC back away in terror.
With Gun Boy behind them, Niles and CC slowly filed toward the office. Maxwell looked up as they entered, then they sat down on the sofa together and he saw their companion. "I assume you're here to see Tessa?" he said coldly. "I'll summon her."
Maxwell called the guestroom on the intercom. "Tessa, I'd like to see you in my office immediately, if you please."
Tessa came down clad only in a thin silk peignoir. "Maxwell, I was about to go to bed, so -- oh."
"Yeah, oh," said Niles, glaring at her. "Dressed for work, I see?"
"Well, I didn't know we were about to get taken hostage. And since when does a butler talk back?"
"Shut up, you little hooker!" CC said hotly. "Nobody talks to Niles like that but me. And here, cover yourself." CC handed Tessa her overcoat.
Tessa looked her up and down. "Jealous?"
"Well, let's see." CC whipped off the short jacket that covered her lace dress. Underneath, her outfit was clingy and very low-cut. "What do you think?"
"Yowsa," said Niles, who had a bird's eye view of her cleavage.
"Shut up!" snapped Gun Boy. "Tessa, where the hell is the information you stole from us?"
"I knew she was dirty," said Niles.
"Almost as dirty as your mind," CC said.
Tessa glanced at them. "Oh, will you two just do it and get it over with? Randolph, the information was passed along to an FBI agent at the party tonight."
"You're a cop?" demanded Niles.
"You're the good cop?" demanded CC. Then, "Do what?" She looked at Niles, who shrugged.
"Well, you'd better call that agent and get it back, or people are going to start dying, starting with that mouthy blonde, who I'm really getting sick of."
"Aren't we all," said Niles.
"Why can't you start with the butler?" Tessa asked, moving toward the phone.
Randolph turned to her, facing away from CC and Niles. Behind them, Niles frantically tried to motion CC to slide over and let him sit nearest Randolph, so he could jump him. CC shook her head, refusing to let Niles take the chance.
Niles leaned over and whispered, "If you don't let me do it, then the first chance I get, I'm dragging you up to my room and shagging your brains out."
CC started eyeing the gunman, waiting for her chance to take him out. She told herself it was so Niles would shut up, but that didn't explain the tingle of sensual awareness that ran down her spine at his whispered threat. "Just try," she invited.
Randolph grabbed Tessa as soon as she got off the phone and began dragging her out. "Let's all go get comfy in the living room, shall we?"
Max looked at Niles and mouthed, Miss Fine?
Niles jerked his head toward the ceiling to indicate, Upstairs.
Max breathed a sigh of relief.
Just then, Fran burst in. "Niles, where are you? I thought we were gonna -- oh my God!" Randolph reeled from the impact. He staggered, and raised the gun.
Tessa tripped him at the same time Niles grabbed his hand to twist the gun out of his grasp. Simultaneously, CC grabbed Maxwell's Tony award and flung herself atop the fallen man to deliver a sharp crack on the back of the head.
Randolph lay unconscious, with CC sprawled on top of him in a very unladylike and revealing position. Niles tore the gun from his hand, having thoroughly dislocated Randolph's shoulder when he went down.
Maxwell hurried up and took CC's elbow to help her to her feet. CC turned to face Tessa, and announced, "You . . . are . . . a . . . rotten . . . cop!" She arrogantly flicked a lock of golden hair out of her eyes.
"I know," said Tessa. "That's why I became an actress. This was my last assignment, using Maxwell's show and parties to transmit secret information from a drug cartel."
CC gave her a glare. "God, I need a drink. Incompetence makes me thirsty."
"Everything makes you thirsty," Niles told her, "and we have unfinished business." He brandished the gun in her face. "Upstairs, Miss Babcock. What did I tell you I would do to you if you tried to stop me from taking him down?"
CC took the gun from his grasp and threw it carelessly on the floor. It discharged, shooting out one of the sofa legs. She glanced at it, shrugged, and wrapped her arms around Niles' neck.
"Care to work off some of that adrenaline, Superman?" she said softly.
"Baby, my adrenaline is still growing, and that's not the only thing. Let's go kill some time 'till the cops get here." Niles slid his arm around CC's waist and they exited, oblivious to the stares of the others.
"I knew it," said Tessa.
"I didn't," Maxwell said in confusion.
"Why does that not surprise me?" sighed Fran. "So Tessa was just pretending to be after you?"
"God, yes. Why would I need someone else after me, when you have been for years?" Though his words were sharp, the look he gave her was very warm.
Fran ran into his arms. "How would you feel about getting caught tonight, Mr. Sheffield?"
"Well, we can't let Niles and CC have all the fun, can we?"
"Oh, Mr. Sheffield!"
The End
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