Great Moments in Nanny History

Season Five

    
     

5.5 The Ex-Niles

written by: Nastaran Dibai and Jeffrey B. Hodes

Fran and C.C. argue over who would make a better wife for Maxwell. They decide to get an impartial third party to judge and settle on Dr. Joyce Brothers.

Fran catches Niles listening to their conversation and warns him not to blab to Mr. Sheffield. Fran: And don't you blab. I will know, because Mr. Sheffield always a acts self conscious when he knows he's being watched. Just then Maxwell comes down the hallway.

Max: Why are you staring at me? Fran: What? Go about your business. Max: Well I can't now, you're watching me. Makes me feel very uncomfortable. Fran: So much for making amateur movies on our honeymoon.

Niles starts cleaning Fran's room. When I get that feelin', I want, ah, sexual healing. Sexual he-al-in', something that's good for me!	When Fran was applying for another credit card, she wrote on the application that she made $49,900 a year to impress the card issuer. Niles finds the card application and is shocked to read her salary.
	He goes straight down to Mr. Sheffield's office to demand a raise. He and Maxwell argue and Niles quits.
Fran runs into the office to talk to Mr. Sheffield about it. Fran: Oh Mr. Sheffield, you can't just let Niles go, you're making a big mistake! He's my best friend.... Oh God do you smell delicious. What is that? Are you wearing Aramis? Max: You can forget it Miss Fine.	When C.C. hears the news of Niles decision, she is struck by a heavenly light.
	The widowed Frieda comes over to the house and Fran suggests that Frieda hire Niles since she's loaded now.
The replacement butler is not exactly the families cup of tea. Grace: Fran is taking us to Maury Povich to see that 80 pound baby. Here, Dad doesn't need to know. Trevor: Excuse me, but I cannot be bribed. Grace: This one's going to be trouble!	Fran goes to see Frieda to get Niles back, but Niles is well ensconced and doesn't want to come home. Frieda: Nilesy, I'm going to start the bath. Don't be long my private dancer.
	Dr. Brothers finally arrives to judge the C.C./Fran contest. Fran is willing to go to any lengths to win points.

Niles comes running in with Frieda in hot pursuit. Fran: What happened? Niles: I could handle the Jacuzzi and giving the oil massages. I can even suck on a big toe the size of a Louisville Slugger, but I will not...... do windows.

All the mayhem brings Mr. Sheffield out of his office. Max: Quiet! Trevor, what the hell is going on in my house? Trevor: I wouldn't know, I don't get involved in other people's business. Max: Well that's not much bloody good to me, is it? You're fired. [then to Niles] You're hired. And he tells the girls they are behaving like morons and order is restored to the Sheffield home.

I wanna see the next set of Great Moments in Nanny History pictures!

I wanna go back to the Great Moments in Nanny History Index

Back to The Really Unofficial Nanny Home Page

Sexual Healing