Season Five
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 Fran and Max are going over some wedding details when Niles interrupts with a phone call from Nigel bearing the news that Maxwell's father has died. |  They go to the attorney's office to view the videotape that his father had left him. In it, they are shocked to discover James left Maxwell nothing. |  He left his entire million dollar estate to his fourth child Concepción. |
 The kids are concerned mostly about the money, not their new aunt or their grandfather which earns them a dressing down from Fran. |  Fran imagines life in the future, without money. Fran: Hi honey. Bad news, the doctor says I got quit the paper route. I'm getting too big for the bike! Max: Darling, come here, let daddy gave you some sugar. Buurrrrp. Fran: Look here, I was looking through the want ads, I thought I'd circle a few thing you were qualified to do. Max: But there's nothing circled here my pet. Fran: No kidding. |
 But C.C., newly returned from The Place, rubs it in that Maxwell may have been counting on his inheritance and may run out of money. |
 Max really scares Fran when he rushes off to London to look into contesting the will. |  Sylvia convinces Fran to go and visit Concepción to try to get the inheritance back. |  So they schlepp down to the hotel she is staying at with her mother, Consuelo. Fran can't bring herself to bring up the money and welcomes "Connie" into the Sheffield family. |
 Maxwell returns from England, but the will is iron clad. Fran: I have been poor and I can be poor again, but you don't know what it is to be broke and you've got the kids to think about... Max: Wait wait wait Fran, what are you saying? Fran: I'm saying that if you need to marry a woman with money to preserve your lifestyle I will understand and I'll let you out of your commitment. It's just as easy to marry a rich girl as it is to marry a poor one. |  But Max reassures her that he still has some money socked away. Fran: I love you so much, for richer, for poorer, which I'm hoping is at least a split level in Long Island? Max: Oh darling, it won't have to come to that. I want you to have the house of your dreams. Fran: But that is the house of my dreams. |
 Concepción's attorney comes in with the news that since she has been accepted by the family, she has decided to share the inheritance with her new siblings and all is right with the world. |
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If I Were A Carpenter
(Tim Hardin)
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If I were a carpenter and you were a lady, Would you marry me anyway? Would you have my baby? If a tinker were my trade would you still find me, carrin' the pots I made, followin' behind me. Save my love through loneliness, Save my love for sorrow, I'm given you my onliness, Come give your tomorrow. |
If I worked my hands in wood, Would you still love me? Answer me babe, "Yes I would, I'll put you above me." If I were a miller at a mill wheel grinding, would you miss your color box, and your soft shoe shining? If I were a carpenter and you were a lady, Would you marry me anyway? Would you have my baby? Would you marry anyway? Would you have my baby? |