Season Four
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 Fran and Gracie are going to the Loehmann's Semi Annual Red Star Clearance sale. In the melee, Fran finds a nice pale green sweater she wants. |  But someone else has her hands on it too. Fran wins the tug of war. |  Back at the house, Sylvia tells Fran about the fabulous lobster she had for lunch that Uncle Stanley caught. The fact that he caught in it toxic waters and that it had two tails didn't faze Sylvia a bit. |
 Brighton is not doing well in science class. Dad threatens military school unless his grades improve. Brighton explains that his big science project will bring his grade up. Too bad the moldy strawberry in the fridge that had been the project has disappeared. |  Fran is incensed to find applications for military school in the mail. Max: Miss Fine, I happen to think discipline is a way of showing love. Fran: Well I am seeing a whole other side to you that, frankly, I find intriguing! |
 Out on the terrace, Fran finds a bird's nest with three eggs in it. Max: I thought bird's laid their eggs in the spring. She's a bit late, isn't she? |  Fran: Hey, it's the nineties. She don't have to lay eggs the minute she moves out of her parent's nest. Maybe she spent the last three years sitting on somebody else's eggs, waiting for that certain gray streaked pigeon to make his move. |
 Brighton is desperate for a good science project. Maggie suggests comparing the staying power of different brands of lipstick. But Fran tells him about the bird's nest and suggests he incubate the eggs and then document the hatching. |  B calls home from the mall and wants Fran to turn the heat lamps on the eggs. She does, but gets involved in a movie and forgets to turn them off. The eggs hard boil from the heat, so his project is ruined. Military school, here we come. |  Sylvia returns with another lobster from Stanley. Fran points out the rash covering her entire body and suggests Sylvia may want to rethink eating Stanley's seafood. |
 Fran wants to try to talk Brighton's science teacher into giving him an extension on his science project. Unfortunately, his teacher turns out to be the woman that Fran beat out at the Loehmann's sale for that nice green sweater she is wearing. Mrs. Richardson: All I wanted was a green sweater to go with that damn skirt I bought at a yard sale. |  When Fran gets home, she is happy to report that she got B his extension. He has chosen Sylvia's mysterious rash as his next science project, thus ensuring that he won't have to go to military school. |
 Niles wants to know how Fran got the extension. Fran: Oh Niles, I just reasoned with the woman. You can't argue with logic. |
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God Bless The Child
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Them that's got shall get Them that's not shall lose So the Bible said and it still is news Mama may have, Papa may have But God bless the child that's got his own That's got his own Yes, the strong gets more While the weak ones fade Empty pockets don't ever make the grade Mama may have, Papa may have But God bless the child that's got his own That's got his own |
Money, you've got lots of friends Crowding round the door When you're gone, spending ends They don't come no more Rich relations give Crust of bread and such You can help yourself But don't take too much Mama may have, Papa may have But God bless the child that's got his own That's got his own Mama may have, Papa may have But God bless the child that's got his own That's got his own He just worry 'bout nothin' Cause he's got his own |