Season Four
| Favorite Lines | Our Comments | Fun Stuff |
| Sheffield Productions is doing a benefit auction for the New York Restoration Project. C.C.: Okay, listen up, I am busting my butt for a benefit that doesn't involve profit and I've got PMS. The ice is thin! | C.C. has put one of the richest men in NY at Maxwell's table so that he can schmooze him to invest in one of his plays. Max has Fran convinced that she wouldn't be interested in going until Brighton lets it slip that Bette Midler will be attending. Fran: Was the Divine Miss M in this house? Max: The auctions at 8, dress formal. |
| Fran wants to contribute to the auction too and comes up with the idea of auctioning off her nanny services for a day. | Max reminds Fran to take good care of Tom's son. Max: We have a little saying in the theater. Mess up with the investor, move back in with your mother. Fran: Well I have a saying too. Mess with the Nanny, please. |
| Fran is bought by Maxwell's investor's son, a kid that wants to be a concert pianist. Meanwhile, Niles is grousing about having been conned into donating his service too, especially since it was C.C. that bought him. |
| Fran takes the boy to Yetta's retirement home to play the piano for them. But one of the old guys in the home dies from the excitement and the kid refuses to touch the piano again. | Surprise, surprise; Mr. Sheffield is angry at Fran because he figures Tom will pull all his money out of his show. | He also pulled his money out of Bette's charity and she isn't happy with Fran either. |
| But suddenly, the kid starts playing the piano again. Max: Miss Fine, how did you do this? Fran: It's not important how, what's important is that is was done. (to Gracie) How was it done? Grace: I think I've learned a thing or two from somebody around here. | C.C.: (on the phone) Oh you don't have to thank me, it's my gift to you. We'll just finish out the hour and send him home. Oh, you're welcome. Sylvia: Oh Niles, all those years of kneading dough really paid off. Ya know what? Let's lose the sheet, I'm not shy. |
Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy
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He was a famous trumpet man from out Chicago way He had a boogie sound that no one else could play He was the top man at his craft But then his number came up and he was gone with the draft He's in the army now, a blowing reveille He's the boogie woogie bugle boy of company B They made him blow his bugle for his Uncle Sam, It really brought him down because he could not jam. The Captain seemed to understand Because the next thing the Cap went out and drafted a band And now the company jumps when he plays reveille He's the boogie woogie bugle boy of company B A root a toot a tootily toot He blows it eight to the bar, in boogie rhythm. And he can't blow a note unless the base and guitar is playing with him. And the company jumps when he plays reveille He's the boogie woogie bugle boy of company B He was some boogie woogie bugle boy of company B And when he plays the boogie woogie bugle he was busy as a buzy bee And when he played he made the company jump eight to the bar He's the boogie woogie bugle boy of company B Lal doodily adda doodily adda doot doot He blows it eight to the bar He can't blow a note if the base and guitar isn't with him. And the company jumps when he plays reveille He's the boogie woogie bugle boy of company B He puts the boys to sleep with boogie every night And wakes them up the same way in the early bright They clap their hands and stamp their feet Cause they know how he blows when someone gives him the beat. Whoa whoa he wakes them up when he plays reveille The boogie woogie bugle boy of company B And the company jumps when he plays reveille He's the boogie woogie bugle boy of company B He's some boogie woogie bugle boy of company B |