Great Moments in Nanny History

Season One


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1.22 I Don't Remember Mama

written by: Howard Meyers and Diane Wilk

Favorite Lines Our Comments


Fran: I don't think it's normal. I mean, they all act as if Sarah never existed.

Maxwell joins a country club and thinks it will be a perfect way to take the kids minds off the upcoming Mother's Day.

Fran and Grace want to join the Mother-Daughter Pageant at the country club, but Max takes some convincing.

Grace and Fran practice their Magic Act for the Pageant.

Maggie: I can't believe Dad's letting Gracie do this.
Fran: I can't believe I'm letting Gracie do this.
Maggie: No, I mean being in the pageant.
Brighton: Dad doesn't even like to talk about mom.
Fran: What was she like?
Maggie: She was real pretty.
Brighton: She had the best laugh.
Maggie: And she always liked to sing.
Brighton: Off key.

It's just separation anxiety.

Checking out the competition.

Mother: You are not this child's mother. You're her nanny.
Fran: Yeah, so?
Mother: This is a Mother-Daughter Pagent.
Fran: Well, we're very close.
Grace: So what if she's not my mother, what's the difference?
Mother: It's against the rules.
Grace: Well, I don't have a mother. She died!

Girl: I just wanna be your friend. Your mom's real pretty.
Grace: Thanks, but she's not my mom, she's my nanny.
Girl: See ya.

Max: Sweetheart, I do understand how you feel. All those other girls with their mommies just reminded you how much you miss yours.
Grace: But that's what's wrong, I don't miss her.
Max: You don't?
Grace: No, I don't remember her. ... How come you never talk about her?
Max: Well sometimes it's very difficult for daddy.
Grace: Oh. You can't remember her either?

Grace: Do you think that mommy would want me to be in the pageant?
Max: I think she would want whatever you want.
Grace: I wanna do it. Me and Fran are gonna kick some country club butt!
Fran: Oy! I don't know where she gets these things!

Anything you can do I can do better....
Since Grace forgot how to put Fran back together after sawing her in half, Fran refused to get back in the box. So for the pageant, they sang with their faces dressed up like puppets instead. [Where their chins become the dolls heads.]


But Patti LaBelle and her daughter won the contest, and Fran and Grace came in second.


"Mother" and "daughter" enjoying the show.

At home after the pageant, they all watched home movies to celebrate Mother's Day. First, they saw Fran as a child.

Then Maggie and Brighton. [Young Brighton was played by Benjamin Salisbury's real life brother.]

Then Sarah and Gracie.

Fran quietly comforts Maxwell as they watch.



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Anything You Can Do
(from Annie Get Your Gun
words and music by Irving Berlin)

I'm superior, you're inferior.
I'm the big attraction, you're the small.
I'm the major one, you're the minor one,
I can beat you shootin', that's not all.

SHE: Anything you can do, I can do better.
I can do anything better than you
HE: No, you can't
SHE: Yes, I can
HE: No, you can't
SHE: Yes, I can
HE: No, you can't
SHE: Yes, I can! Yes, I can!!

HE: Anything you can be, I can be greater.
Sooner or later, I'm greater than you
SHE: No, you're not
HE: Yes, I am
SHE: No, you're not
HE: Yes, I am
SHE: No, you're not
HE: Yes, I am! Yes, I am!!

I can get a partridge with a single cartridge
SHE: I can get a sparrow with a bow and arrow
HE: I can live on bread and cheese
SHE: And only on that?
HE: Yes.
SHE: So can a rat

HE: Any note you can reach, I can go higher
SHE: I can sing any note higher than you
HE: No, you can't
SHE: Yes, I can
HE: No, you can't
SHE: Yes, I can
HE: No, you can't
SHE: Yes, I can! Yes, I can!!

Anything you can buy, I can buy cheaper
I can buy anything cheaper than you
HE: 50¢?
SHE: 40¢?
HE: 30¢?
SHE: 20¢?
HE: No you can't
SHE: Yes I can! Yes I can!

HE: Anything you can say, I can say softer
SHE: I can say anything softer than you
HE: No, you can't
SHE: Yes, I can
HE: No, you can't
SHE: Yes, I can
HE: No, you can't
SHE: Yes, I can! Yes, I can!!
HE: I can drink my liquor faster than a flicker
SHE: I can drink it quicker and get even sicker
HE: I can open any safe
SHE: Without getting caught?
HE: Sure
SHE: That's what I thought, you crook

HE: Any note you can hold, I can hold longer
SHE: I can hold any note longer than you
HE: No, you can't
SHE: Yes, I can
HE: No, you can't
SHE: Yes, I can
HE: No, you caaaaaaaaaaaaaan't
SHE: Yes, I caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!
HE: Yes, you can!!

SHE: Anything you can wear, I can wear better
In what you wear, I look better than you
HE: In my coat?
SHE: In your vest
HE: In my shoes?
SHE: In your hat!
HE: No you can't
SHE: Yes I can! Yes I can!

HE: Anything you can say, I can say faster
SHE: I can say anything faster than you
HE: No, you can't
SHE: Yes, I can
HE: Noyoucan't
SHE: YesIcan
HE: NOYOUCANT
SHE: YESICANYESICAN

HE: I can jump a hurdle
SHE: I can wear a girdle
HE: I can knit a sweater
SHE: I can fill it better
HE: I can do most anything
SHE: Can you make a pie?
HE: No
SHE: Neither can I

HE: Any note you can sing, I can sing sweeter
SHE: I can sing anything sweeter than you
HE: No, you can't
SHE: Yes, I can
HE: No, you can't
SHE: Yes, I can
HE: No, you can't
SHE: Yes, I can, yes I cannnnnnnnn.

"Anything You Can Do"