Great Moments in Nanny History

Season Six

    
     

6.18 Yetta's Lettas

teleplay by: Dan Amernick and Jay Amernick
story by: Bernie Vyzga, Dan Amernick and Jay Amernick

Fran and Max can't believe what they just witnessed upstairs. Max: I don't ever want to see that again. I just don't understand. What happened? Five hours ago they were at each others throats!

Niles comes floating down the stairs. I'm too sexy for my apron, too sexy for my bagel cutter, too sexy for my Sub Zero....

He spies the Sheffield's, let's them know he's staying in their employ, cleans the refrigerator out of ice cream toppings and returns to his room. Fran: But judging from the smile on your banana, I'm guessing you decided to stay.

Later, Max is worried because he has already rented a theater, but has no play to put in it. He sooo wanted this to be the year he bested Andrew Lloyd Webber in the Tony's.	Yetta and Sylvia bring over Yetta's hope chest for the babies room, and while they are looking through the stuff inside they find a stack of old love letters. Sylvia: It says "Dear Richard". Daddy's name was Joe. Yetta: Would you believe Richard is short for Joe? Sylvia: No. Yetta: All right, I'm busted. I never told this to anyone but I was in love once, before your father.
Fran just can't resist commenting to C.C. Fran: Aren't you in a good mood. What got into you? Niles: Hello, hello!

She tells them the story of how she met Richard on the boat on her way to America to marry Joe. He was a handsome waiter and it was love at first sight.

Fran: Did anything intimate happen between you and Richard? Yetta: Of course not! I was on my way to meet my future husband!

But when the boat docked, they got separated. She looked for him for five years before she gave up and married Joe.

Fran takes the letters in to show Maxwell with the idea that Yetta's story would make a great play, but Max isn't interested. Fran: Well I've got your next hit right over here. Max: Oh no god please don't tell me it's a boring three act play about a butler's life, which mysteriously keeps creeping it's way to the top of my pile.	The phone rings, it's Andy Lloyd Webber, who wants to know why Max won't rent him his theater. Max says he'll explain it in a letter and Fran writes the address down on one of the envelopes in the stack on Max's desk.
	Niles comes in and takes the pile of rejected scripts to a waiting messenger to be returned. Niles: Including mine? "Love, Valet, Compassion"?

In the trade papers, they find out that ALW is negotiating for the rights to "Yetta's Letters", which the messenger had delivered to him. Maxwell is understandably upset that Yetta would treat mischbuka like that.	Maxwell figures that the contract Yetta signed can't be valid, considering Yetta's mental state. Turns out he is right, Sylvia has power of attorney and she is the one to schmooze.
But nothing can bother C.C., who is floating on air. I'm as restless as a willow in a windstorm, I'm as giddy as a....

Six weeks later, the musical opens. I'm torn between the man I love and a man whose name is Joe, I hear he is a furrier, so we know he isn't po'.	The show is a huge hit. "Sheffield has the hit of the Broadway season." Yetta: Oh wasn't that some story. The way she gave up the handsome waiter for the simple furrier. What a schmuck.
	Niles retires for the evening, and C.C. slips upstairs "unnoticed."

Max: You know what sweetheart? After all these years I finally beat out Andrew Lloyd Webber. And it doesn't feel as good as I thought it would. Which is why I'm going to send him these!

Niles is still trying to get Max to produce his play, so in an effort to convince him, he puts on a number. I scrub and I dust and I do what I must For a millionaire with a full head of hair! But it doesn't matter what I'm paid Cause I'm finally getting...... six bucks an hour.

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