Season Three
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Fran is dating Dr. Jules Kimball, whom she met at a Hadasa Hoe-down. He comes to pick her up for a date, sparking the usual display of jealousy from Mr. Sheffield. |
Max: So Jules, had I known you were going to the theater, I would have gotten you house seats. Jules (pulling tickets out of his pocket): I know the star. Max: I know the producer. Jules: I know the director. Max: I know the theater owner! Jules: I talk to God!! |
Fran introduces Jules to the whole gang. |
Ma waits to see how Fran's date went while the family eats dinner. Sylvia: Oh, such a big potato for such a little girl. |
Max (to Brighton): Well I wouldn't get too attached to the bloke if I were you, we all know how Miss Fine's relationships eventually end in disaster. Fran (running into the room): He asked me to marry him!!! |
Fran: I know the doctor asked me to marry him, but I didn't say yes. Prompting Sylvia to faint from the shock. |
Sylvia: You better run!! Fran: Ma, put down the vegetable and no one gets hurt! Sylvia "helps" Fran decide she should accept Jules' proposal. |
Sylvia: Oh I'm sorry, did this fork accidentally puncture your touchas?? |
Max: You know Miss Fine, I think you're very wise not to rush into this. You're far too sensible a woman to marry a man you..... Yeow!!! |
Jules and Fran go pick out an engagement ring. Jules steps outside to examine the ring in the sun. |
Unfortunately, he forgets to come back. |
Fran: I can't believe this is happening! He got along so well with my parents. He wanted them to move in with us!! Well, that should have tipped me off right there! |
Fran and Sylvia fight about Sylvia's pushiness later. Gracie suggests they need some family therapy. |
At therapy, some family secrets are revealed: Yetta: Don't nag the kid all the time. She should get married when she wants to, not just cause she got knocked up by the seltzer man like I.... like I heard people do. |
Fran: You don't have to be married to have a full life Ma. Sure, I'd like to some day, but if I don't, it doesn't mean my life was worthless. Right? ...Right? ............Right????? Sylvia: Right. |
Fran: I should have never blamed my mother anyway. I should have known that guy was out of my league. Max: No Miss Fine, he wasn't. He duped you. Fran: But I was ripe for the duping. Once a girl's exposed to a guy like you, so classy and debonair, there's just no going back. |
Fran: The therapist said I was subconsciously avoiding a relationship. Max: Oh please. With who? Fran: Believe me, if there was a guy out there, single, successful, attractive, I'd smell him a mile away. What's that? Aramis? |
Max: You know, Gracie's therapist said exactly the same thing to me. Trust me Miss Fine, if I found a woman who loved my children, could make me laugh, and I found attractive, I'd never let her get away. |
Fran: Hear, hear. Oh, hang on a second, we're stuck on each other. |
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Matchmaker
(From The Movie Fiddler on the Roof )
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Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match, Find me a find, catch me a catch. Matchmaker, matchmaker, look through your book And make me a perfect match. Matchmaker, matchmaker, I'll bring the veil, You bring the groom, slender and pale, Bring me a ring, for I'm longing to be The envy of all I see. For Papa, make him a scholar, For Mama, make him rich as a king, For me, well, I wouldn't holler If he were as handsome as anything. Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match, Find me a find, catch me a catch. Night after night in the dark I'm alone, So find me a match of my own. <Spoken over next stanza> Since when are you interested in a match, Chava? I thought you just had your eyes on your books. And you have your eye on the rabbi's son! Well, why not? We have only one rabbi, he has only one son. Why shouldn't I want the best? Because you're a girl from a poor family. So whatever Yente brings, you'll take. Right? Of course right! </Spoken> |
Hodel, oh Hodel, have I made a match for you. He's handsome, he's young . . . all right, he's sixty-two, But he's a nice man, a good catch. True? True. I promise you'll be happy, and even if you're not, There's more to life than that. Don't ask me what. Chava, I've found him, will you be a lucky bride! He's handsome, he's tall . . . that is, from side to side, But he's a nice man, a good catch. Right? Right. You've heard he has a temper, he'll beat you every night, But only when he's sober . . . so you're all right. Did you think you'd get a prince? Well, I do the best I can. With no dowry, no money, no family background, be glad you've got a man. Matchmaker, matchmaker, you know that I'm Still very young. Please, take your time. Up to this minute I misunderstood That I could get stuck for good. Dear Yente, see that he's gentle, Remember you were also a bride. It's not that I'm sentimental, It's just that I'm terrified. Matchmaker, matchmaker, plan me no plan, I'm in no rush, maybe I've learned Playing with matches a girl can get burned . . . So . . . bring me no ring, Groom me no groom, Find me no find, Catch me no catch, Unless he's a matchless match! |