Great Moments in Nanny History

Season Three

    
     

3.25 Ship Of Fran's

written by: Diane Wilk

Fran comes home from a bar mitzvah excited with ideas for Brighton's confirmation party. Mr. Sheffield insists on a more subdued celebration.

Even Mr. Sheffield thinks it sounds like fun, until Fran reveals what she is really looking forward to. Fran: My psychic told me that I was going to meet the man of my dreams on this cruise. Max: A psychic Miss Fine? Fran: Oh yes, it was fabulous. She said that he and I were gonna dance on water. Then she got some kinda freak asthma attack and it ate up the rest of my $3.95 a minute. Max: Miss Fine, you don't honestly think that you're going to meet the love of your life and get married based on what any stranger tells you on the phone? Fran: Well you got that right Mister. Do you know how many clueless quacks I had to call before I got one with that kind of vision?

C.C. finds the brochure about the cruise Fran and Val are planning on going on. Fran: Oh boy, would you just look at that gorgeous side of beef over there by the pool? And ya know, the chef will carve it for you right there.

The idea that Fran just might meet someone is enough to put a jealous Max into high gear. Max: There's a chance she could run off, I mean, if she met someone and convinced herself it was fate.

Fran and Brighton conspire to get Dad to agree to a better confirmation party. Amazingly, he thinks it's a great idea.

He decides that the best way to celebrate would be on a cruise for the entire family. Fran's cruise.

She doesn't think this is a great idea. Max: Oh Miss Fine, I know what you are thinking. You are on this boat to find Mr. Right. Well, don't you worry, we'll respect your privacy. So will Morty, Sylvia and Yetta. Fran: You invited my parents and my grandmother on the first sexy vacation I've had in three years? That was so thoughtful of you.	So the entire group sets sail. Fran is overjoyed to find that Max has booked the kids into the rooms right next door to hers.
	C.C. is overjoyed to find that Yetta is rooming with her.

Later, around the pool, Sylvia introduces Fran to a likely candidate for 'man of her dreams'. Steve Goodman invites Fran to compete with him in the mambo contest Saturday night, thus fulfilling the 'dance on water' prediction of the psychic.

Steve: Don't break my heart, don't tell me you're with someone. Fran: Oh no no, I am free as a bird, completely unattached. Max: Oh there you are. Did we remember to set the alarm before we left the house? But Sylvia and Yetta get rid of Max, and Fran and Steve are all set.

Niles is enjoying some time at the craps table when C.C. comes over. C.C.: Hello Niles. I knew you were a high roller. Those Bermuda shorts you wore to the pool were a huge gamble. Niles: This from the woman whose flip flops could transport refugees from Cuba.

They are both shocked to realize that C.C. appears to be his good luck charm at the tables. Niles: Are you a good witch or a bad witch?

The family enjoys the day in port.

That night, Fran and Mr. Sheffield discuss the wonderful day they had over drinks.	Niles tries to get C.C. to help his luck at gambling. Niles: Twenty minutes at the slots, my baby by my side? C.C.: Oh hoho, this is going to cost you big. Niles: I thought you were duty free on the high seas? Sorry, old habits my beauty. Name your price. C.C.: 95 pounds. Niles: British? C.C.: No, Yiddish. Meet your new roommate.
Steve interrupts the moment when he comes to pick Fran up for dinner.

The night of the dance contest, Fran is worried when Steve is late. Max: See, he's not going to show, you can't trust him. He won't make you happy. Fran: I don't want to be happy, I want to be married!

But Steve has been arrested for being a stowaway, leaving Fran without a partner for the dance contest.

Max fills in nicely at the last minute. Miss Fine, may I be the man of your dreams for this one dance?

The dance

Oh Mr. Sheffield, ya know the psychic told me I would dance on water with the man of my dreams. What a waste of money that was.

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