Season Two
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 It's Sylvia's "50th" birthday, and Fran is throwing her a "surprise" party. CC and Max can't make it to the party; they have plans to spend the weekend at Gene Shalit's. But Max donates two bottles of vintage burgundy to the cause. |  Niles: Oh my God--what are you doing with Mr. Sheffield's best burgundy? Fran: I'm making a sangria! Maggie: Does it need more 'Equal'? Fran: Two more packs. |  Fran: Did I mention my cousin Sophie is coming tonight? Niles: Don't tell me she's smart and has a wonderful personality. Fran: No, she's dumb as a post, but she's built like a brick..... |
 C.C. comes over to pick up Max to go to the Shalit's, but he's already left. She decides to grab a bottle of wine from the cellar to take with her, but the door handle broke off in her hand. |  Fran: Miss Babcock, I OD'd on the Equal, can you pass me another bottle of burgundy? Fran comes down too and the door shuts behind her, trapping them both. |  Surprise!! Oh My God. I had no idea. Look at me. We were on our way to see "Shawshank Redemption." Meanwhile, upstairs, the party is getting underway. |
 Grandma Yetta introduces Schmuey to Uncle Stanley and they scam him out of gift for Schmuey's bar mitzvah. |  To pass the time, Fran does C.C.'s hair and she lets Fran in on the details of a trip she and Max made to the Fiji Islands. Fran: Now let me get this straight. He was drunk, you were the only woman on a deserted island, and he still didn't touch you? |
 Stanley: I got one word for you-- styrofoam. Brighton: But that's not biodegradable. Stanley: Who's asking ya to eat it? |
 C.C.: That little gray streak in his hair just makes me wanna ...uhmmm. Fran: Now see, that would be the first thing I'd get rid of. Too Pepe La Pew. |  Max comes back to find out what happened to C.C. and is appalled at the party in progress. |
 Maxwell comes down to the wine cellar, discovering the girls and releasing them. Max: C.C., have you done something with your hair? |
 Fran: Meanwhile, where have you been for the last hour? So you met my cousin Sophie! Nice, huh? Niles: Yowsa! |  Max: I just can't help thinking about you and Miss Babcock being stuck together. What on earth did you find to talk about?.... Fran: She did mention that close encounter on Fiji. Max: Oh, I remember that! Fran: Cocktails at the bar? Max: No, quinine at the British Consulate. I was taken deathly ill, they rushed me to hospital, I was delirious for days! Fran: Well apparently delirium ran rampant on that trip! |
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Luck Be A Lady
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They call you Lady Luck But there is room for doubt At times you have a very unladylike way of running out, You're on a date with me The pickings have been lush And yet before this evening is over you might give me the brush. You might forget your manners, You might refuse to stay, And so the best that I can do is pray Luck be a lady tonight Luck be a lady tonight Luck if you've ever been a lady to begin with, Luck be a lady tonight. |
Luck let a gentleman see How nice a dame you can be I know the way you've treated other guys you've been with Luck be a lady with me. A lady doesn't leave her escort It isn't fair, it isn't nice A lady doesn't wander all over the room and blow on some other guys dice. So let's keep the party polite Never get out of my sight Stick with me baby I'm the fellow you came in with, Luck be a lady, Luck be a lady, Luck be a lady tonight. |