7.18 Growing Pains
by
Kate Moore
(katemo@yahoo.com)
"What are you doing Miss Grace?" Niles asks the teen, who is kneeling in front of her father's office door. Grace looks up with a blush.
"I dropped an earring?" Niles shakes his head slowly.
"I thought I raised you better. The intercom is much clearer."
"I tried, Daddy must have turned it off."
"Well, didn't you plan ahead? Here lets try these." Niles hands her a couple of juice glasses then kneels down next to her. "Primitive, but they'll do."
On the other side of the door.
"Honey, I was gonna tell ya, but you've been so busy, and I thought B understood that he couldn't keep this up. Apparently I was wrong about that one."
"Well I don't see what your so mad about. The first one doesn't count, because I went to traffic school."
"Hmmm, you don't see what I'm so angry about, take a look at this." Max flings a white form letter at his son. Brighton studies it for a moment and swallows hard. "Your insurance payment is now higher than mine and Fran's together."
"Oy, how'd they find out?"
"The DMV likes to keep them informed about little things like traffic tickets. By the way, this is because of last month's speeding ticket, they haven't told me what this latest incident will cost me." Max grabs the form from Brighton and shows it to Fran. "I have half a mind to sell that car."
"Dad, hey, you can't do that, it takes me over an hour to get to school most mornings, longer when I'm not speeding."
"I'm paying for it Brighton, I can do whatever I like with it."
"Fran, help me, please."
"Maxwell, Sweetie, calm down, that purple thing on your forehead is getting way too much of a workout." She rubs his shoulders and turns to Brighton. "Honey, I'm sorry, but I'm with your dad on this one. A car is a serious responsibility, and you aren't acting like your ready for it yet."
"Fran!!!!!!"
"Well, sweetie, maybe if you had to pay the bills, you'd be a little more careful."
"That's a wonderful idea, Brighton from now on if you want the car, your going to pay for it's upkeep and the insurance."
"Oh great. My trust fund doesn't kick in for another two years, how am I supposed to come up with the money?"
"Well here's an idea....GET A JOB." Maxwell stands up, crosses the room and flings open his office door, knocking Grace into Niles. He angrily looks from them to his wife.
"Honey, I told ya, it's just plain safer to leave the intercom on."
A few moments later, Fran and Max sit alone in the office. Fran eagerly awaits Max's response to her suggestion.
"Are you out of your bloody mind? It's bad enough that I hired Fred."
"But Max, you want him to learn responsibility, and he wants to go into show business, its perfect!"
"Its nepotism Fran."
"What's vanity have to do with anything? Look, we are talking part-time as an errand boy, or cue card holder."
"No!"
"Maaaaaaaaax"
"No"
"For me...puhleaze" Fran whispers in his ear as she rubs his back. "Pretty please with a cherry on top."
"Nahhhhhhhhh ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, ahhhhhhhhhh aaaaaahhhh, maybe." He reaches around and pulls Fran to his lap, and begins kissing her, "what the hell, he's hired."
"No Jenny, I'm serious... He Is cuter in person... And you should see how great our names look together...." Grace smiles at a notebook full of GS and TO and Grace Elizabeth Sheffield October. Dr. Grace October. She sighs, listening to her friend. "He said 'hey legs!', I'm soooooo glad I borrowed my mom's black mini-skirt!"
"Gracie, it's after midnight, say goodnight to Jenny and go to sleep," Fran calls through the door.
"I'll be off in a minute Fran...Okay Jenn, I've gotta go, the parental unit is starting to freak... I'll e-mail you. Bye."
The bedroom door opens, and Fran walks in. "Ya know sweetie, I'm glad you had a good time at the taping, but you do need your sleep." She leans down and kisses Grace. "Hey, it's been pretty hectic tonight, has Brighton come home? I'm dying to ask him how his first day went."
"I haven't seen him, but I've sorta have been on the phone for a while."
"That's a while by you? We've been home for almost 2 hours." Fran raises an eyebrow. "Maggie has you beat by a mile. Night Grace."
Fran checks B's room, then the nursery, she pops her head into the master bedroom, to confirm that Max was still working in the office. Downstairs, she pops her head in the office, to confirm that Max had fallen asleep over his desk. "Max." Her finger traces his jawline, "Max, it's time for bed."
A long minute passes before Max eyes fully open. "Again? I am sorry Fran."
"Third time this millennium....you could hurt a girl's feelings like that."
Max searches her eyes for a sign, yes, she wasn't upset. "With the Sweeps coming up I'm as jumpy as a cat at work. Its so peaceful here, I can't stay awake."
"Go on up to bed sweetie, I'll be up in a while." They kiss briefly, and Max makes his way up the front stairs. Fran tidies his desk, then takes his dirty coffee cup and water glass to the kitchen. A thud from the driveway startles her, and she grabs the phone to dial 9-1- Oh, Fran smiles and returns the phone to its charger, it's only B.
"B honey..." Fran makes her way to the driveway, where Brighton is playing hoops. "B, its awful cold out here."
A swoosh is the only answer, Brighton grabs the rebound and shoots again.
"B....B....Brighton....B-R-I-G-H-T-O-N!"
"Geesh, Fran you don't have to yell." Brighton sinks another one, before facing her.
"Honey, lets go inside, its freezing and you're bound to wake Niles and Ms. Babcock."
"Please Fran, we all know they haven't 'slept'" He makes quote marks with his fingers "since they got married. You go ahead I'd really rather be alone."
"B would you mind telling me what's got you in this mood."
"You wouldn't understand."
"Try me....what happened at work?"
Fran meant business, and there was no way for Brighton to escape. "Fran I'm a nobody. I thought Dad would have me helping the cameramen, or one of the producers, but no. You know that little snot they have playing Ben? I'm his personal slave. He just finished an episode where Gramma Metta comes to stay, and now everyone on the set calls me Schmuey! especially him."
"Oh honey, it could be worse."
"Oh don't worry, I'm not done. You know who my boss is?" Fran shakes her head, then begins to realize. "It's Fred, Fred is my boss! The gopher is my boss!!!!"
Fran cringes and struggles to find something encouraging to say. "Well B, you can't expect too much in the beginning. A new job is a lot of work. Do you think it was easy for me when I started as the Nanny? I had to move out of my parent's house, live in a gorgeous mansion, yer dad was always making me dress in designer gowns and schlepping me to glitzy parties, taking me to foreign countries.............. um well maybe I'm not the best example. But the point is B, give it some time, I'm sure things will look better in the morning."
B doesn't actually believe her, but was grateful to end this conversation. He shrugs, kisses his mother on the cheek and heads up to bed.
Fran flies around the kitchen spouting instructions to Val and Niles about the twins. "And Evie's determined to crawl before the week is up, so Niles when they're down for their naps, please put the those gates up that we bought Tuesday."
"Which ones, the Playskool, FisherPrice, or Safety 1st?"
"Yeah."
"Fran you bought 10 gates, where should I put them all?"
"Everywhere, that Eve has the devil in her eye Niles, once she starts movin' they'll be no stoppin' ha."
Jenny and Grace walk in with their arms full of library books. "Oh Gracie, be a doll and help Niles and Val with the twins while I'm gone."
"Sure Fran, where are you going?"
"The Studio, there are some things I need to check on."
Jenny leans over and whispers violently to Grace. Grace elbows her friend, then blushes. "Um Fran, they're rehearsing today right?"
"Yeah, I think so, that or maybe blocking."
Jenny nudges Grace, smiling strangely. "Uh, Niles and Val don't really need my help, could I... I mean could Jenny and I go?"
Fran raises an eyebrow. "For why exactly?"
"I'd hate to miss a chance to see Brighton schlepp and carry."
"Listen you, don't make fun of your brother."
"Why not?....I mean, I won't, can't we go Fran please, I just love the studio its so....fascinating, and Jenny's never been."
"Hmmm, that would be a good excuse." Grace crinkles her brow wondering why Fran would be in the market for an excuse. "I mean sure you can come, but don't you get into any trouble, your father hates that."
"I think he hates it when you get into trouble Fran."
"Potata, Potahta...."
"Okay, girls, I'm trusting you to be on yer best behavior. It looks like they're doing something that might be important, so don't make any noise." Both girls nod solemnly and watch Fran as she makes her way down the hall screeching "YoooHooo Freddie."
"Your Mom is a trip! Okay which way to HIS dressing room?"
Gracie is still cringing watching the director scream cut, and the actors cursing about the scene they now have to run through again. Luckily Daddy is nowhere to be seen. And even luckier Ms. Babcock doesn't appear to be around. Jenny pulls Gracie's arm to get her attention. "Which way???????????"
"Oh its down this way, com'on."
"Hi Fran Sheffield, hey I thought you weren't allowed on the set after that little incident with Ms. Meg Ryan, Fran Sheffield?"
"SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Who knew she was so sensitive about that.... lots of women wear the wonderbra!" Fran play slaps Fred's arm. "Anyway, what Max doesn't know won't hurt him will it?"
"Sure Fran Sheffield, what can I do for you today, did that preparation H do the job or what."
"FRED!!! I'm not here about that! And yes thank you. I'm here about Brighton."
"Oh is he having that uncomfortable itch?"
"Noooo Fred! I'm here because I want to make sure he's happy here. He seemed so down the otha day."
"Have you tried Prozac? What they say about the side effects is really exaggerated."
"Fred, he doesn't need an antidepressant. Geesh. I just wanna make sure he's treated right." Fran looks around the room "What's he doing right now?"
"Well that's privileged information Fran Sheffield."
"Oh, for crying out loud I'm his motha."
"Okay, but you didn't hear this from me."
"Hey Legs, I thought that was you." Tommy encircles Grace's waist and begins kissing her. Grace half chokes from the tongue working its way down her throat. She steps back a little, and Tommy spies Jenny. "Cool ya brought a friend!"
Gracie clears her throat, "Tommy, this is my neighbor Jenny. Jenny this is Tommy."
"Hhhheeeeeeeeeehheeeeeeeeehhhheeeeeeeeeeeee"
"I like your style Legs. Two for the price of one."
Grace smiles, "Jenny just wanted to meet you Tommy, I know you're working, we won't stay long."
"Hey a quicky's cool with me." Tommy sidles up to Grace again. "Just hope you and blondie can keep up with me."
Jenny eyes dart around in panic. "Ummmm, uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, uh ghhoot ghooooo" And she bolts from his dressing room.
"Tommy, why did you do that, Jenny's been dying to meet you."
He rolls his eyes. "Hey Legs I don't have time for this little girl crap. How did I know your little friend was a prude?" He tries kissing her again, but again she pulls away.
"I need to find Jenny. I think you really scared her, she didn't realize you were just kidding around."
"Who's kidding around, why else did you come? Look I need a cigarette, want one?"
"No, look I'll be back, 'kay?"
"Yeah, yeah."
"Okay Schmuey do I need to go over this again? When I ask for a cup of coffee, you get me a cup of coffee, not this crap?" he pours the mug of instant coffee on the floor and on Brighton's sneakers.
"I'm sorry Hank, I didn't know you wanted a cafe au lait."
"Geeeeeshhh, is this job too much for you Schmuey, maybe daddy should hire someone to do it for you."
Brighton starts leaving the assistant director in search of real coffee, wiping his damp shoes against his jeans when he hears a familiar voice.
"Who the hell are you to talk to him like that?" Fran walks forcefully up to the new assistant, completely unaware Brighton is still there. "I asked you a question buddy!" She stamps her foot into a black puddle.
Brighton dies a thousand deaths 'this isn't happening, this isn't happening, it's just like that dream where I go to class in nothing but Underoos.' But it was happening.
"Look lady, we're trying to rehearse here. Closed set, translation, get the hell out!"
"Hank, do you have a moment?" Charlie Shaughnessy tries to intervene.
"In a minute Chuck."
"How dare you talk to my baby like that!"
"FRAN! What are you doing here?" Brighton is five shades of purple.
"Well, now I know why you're so unhappy here, with a bully like that kicking you around."
Brighton looks around. The entire crew and a bunch of the cast are staring at them, just waiting for the other shoe to drop. He bolts out the side door.
"Gee, he looks just like his daddy when he's having a stroke." Fran backs away from the set, "Nothin' to see here folks just go about yer business."
"So did you find your little friend?"
"She met up with Kelly Parker and Kate Kent, and they're giving her make-up tips. I just came to say goodbye." Grace sticks out her hand.
"Now Legs that ain't how a girlfriend says goodbye." Tommy teases.
"Girlfriend...I'm your girlfriend?"
"Not if you don't give me a real goodbye, you're not." Grace blushes and steps into Tommy's arms. "Now this is more like it Legs."
Grace tries not to gag as Tommy's tongue attacks her teeth, gums, and throat. It was just too weird having someone else's tongue probing like that.
"October you're on in five...." Brighton steps in the dressing room to give a cue to his least favorite cast member. "Get your hands off my sister you little creep."
"Get lost Schmuey." Tommy hands work their way lower down Grace's back. Grace tries to turn, but can't really break away.
"Brighton honey, we need to talk." Fran enters behind him. She opens her mouth to start explaining, but can't get past her 14 year old daughter being mauled by an over zealous 15 year old Tom Cruise wannabe.
Off his mother's horror Brighton says "You need to talk to someone, but it isn't me!" Brighton leaves in disgust. Tommy, steps away from Grace, takes one look at Fran's face, mumbles something about a cue, and vanishes.
The only sound in the dining room came from the clanking of utensils against dishes. Fran concentrates on Eve, who's mouth is too full to make any noise, and Jonah, who's mouth is empty, is mesmerized by the rainbows made by the chandelier. Niles finishes putting the last of the dishes on the table before joining the meal. He would not soon forget the scene an hour before when Fran and Grace came through the door screaming at each other. Brighton's seat is empty, not surprising from what Niles had managed to get out of Fran. The next seat may as well as been vacant. Grace plays with her fork, but makes no attempt to eat, or look at anyone else in the room.
"Hello, hello!" CC enters with a smile. "Oh Niles, I could eat a horse...don't say it...what's for dinner?"
"Good evening family." Max kisses Fran, then the twins before taking his seat. Neither notice the atmosphere of the room and Niles is bursting at the seams.
"So CaCa, I assume you weren't at the studio this afternoon? Owwwwww!" Fran kicks him violently under the table.
"We were meeting with PR....they want to kick off a HUGE campaign to see if we can...how did you know we weren't at the studio?"
"Called ya deary...got the voice mail." Niles lies.
Max, still completely oblivious to the tension in the room, reaches for the roast. "Hmmm, not like Brighton to be late...he did know Niles was cooking tonight didn't he?"
Fran smiles weakly. "Yeah, weird huh?"
"May I be excused please!" Grace asks no one in particular.
"Well Grace you are expected to eat at least some of your dinner." Max teases. Grace clenches her teeth and remains seated. "Only teasing Grace, you may go."
Fran looks up as Gracie rises. "Sit down Grace."
"You are such a hypocrite!" The teen plunks down in her seat.
Max and CC exchange looks. Niles takes his wife's arm "Ya know Chubs, I was thinking this would be a nice time to try out the dining room in the guest house... you know for eating."
"Lead the way ButlerBoy." They grab some food and begin to flea, but Evie begins to whimper. Niles motions to CC and they decide to rescue the twins instead of their dinner. Fran mutters a thank you as they head into the kitchen.
"Okay what did I miss this time?"
"Fran's all mad because she caught me kissing some boy."
"I expect there's a bit more to the story than Grace's version."
"Yeah, but ya ain't gonna like it any betta."
Brighton breezes in through the kitchen, sees his parents and begins to leave. "B honey don't go!"
"Fran, I'd really rather not talk right now if its all right with you. Dad you'll have my resignation in the morning."
"What?! Do you know the hoops I jump through to get you that job. I had to promise not to fire that Neanderthal son in law of Maury Sherry's to get him to agree to this and now you think you're just going to walk away, not bloody likely!"
"He's just trying to save you from having to fire him after what happened at the studio today."
"Oh God, my head...what did you do this time?"
"It wasn't him it was that nasty Hank that works there!" Fran interjects.
"It wasn't Hank, Fran, it was YOU!" Brighton throws his arms in the air, "Hank's a jerk, no big deal, I didn't need my Mommy rescuing me!!!!!!!! I've never been soooo humiliated in my life, except maybe the time I walked in on Sylvia naked in the bathroom!" Brighton shudders at the memory.
"You, what about me? The scene she threw in Tommy's dressing room!"
"Don't remind me Gidgit, I'm trying to erase the image of Tommy 'the Octopus' October trying to give you a tonsillectomy with his tongue from my memory."
"Ganuk Already! .... Max, honey...its not as bad as it all sounds."
Three pair of eyes fly to the end of the table. Max rocks back and forth in his chair, staring at the chandelier rainbows dancing on the tablecloth. "Max, sweetie, I can explain."
Without looking at her, he shakes his head "No please don't Fran, I'm not sure my heart could take anymore explanations tonight."
"I can't believe her! You would think she never made out with a boy in her whole life!"
"Gracie he's a slimeball." Jenny wrinkles her nose.
Grace blows her bangs out of her eyes. "I know. But he's sooooo cute."
"My parents woulda grounded me for a month if they caught me in a lip lock like that. You should thank God you aren't in more trouble than this."
"Yeah my dad was too freaked out about everything else that happened and Fran was too worried that Brighton would never talk to her again to really think about punishing me."
"So why are you cleaning out the garage?"
"Because Niles wasn't weirded out. He figured he'd just save them the trouble."
"Gracie you have the strangest family I've ever met." Jenny smiles. "So what other punishment did your butler give you?"
"Well, I can't see Tommy anymore, he said that's what my parents would have come up with once they're out of this fog. But I wasn't going to see him anymore anyway. Do you know his tongue is pierced? Haneous."
Brighton scrubs out some garbage cans used in a scene from show. In Act I they need to be clean, then in Act II they need to be completely trashed. He doesn't mind the job, mostly because he's doing it outside away from the rest of the cast and crew. His dad wouldn't budge. He was stuck with this job till the show wrapped up production in March.
"Hi...Schmuey?" Brighton turns around. "I'm sorry, I know that's not your real name." Kelly is standing tentatively near the stage door.
"It's Brighton."
"I thought it started with a B...that's an unusual name. Anyway, I've been looking for you all afternoon, I was starting to think you quit after...um after yesterday."
"Nope." Brighton keeps scrubbing. "You need me to run and pick you up some tampons or something." He regrets the words as soon as they leave his mouth.
Kelly turns pink "No."
"Hey I'm sorry, I guess I'm just a little grouchy."
"Oh, well I guess if everyone called my Schmuey, and Hank yelled at me, and my sister had a crush on a letch like Tommy..."
"You forgot my mom coming down and rescuing me from the big bad director."
"I thought that was kinda neat. This show is kinda based on your life right...its awesome how much you guys love each other."
Brighton stops. "Yeah Fran's the best. I forget that sometimes. So why were you looking for me?"
"I need like a huge favor. And I was hoping you could help me out. You're in college right?"
"Yeah, I'm in film school."
"Really? Oh that's so cool. That's where I'm hoping to get in."
"Guess you don't expect the show to last another two years?"
"Well, ya never know, but it doesn't matter. I signed a 7 year contract, so I'll be here if the show lasts, but its was worked into my contract that I be able to go to part time status if I choose to go to college."
Brighton nods "...anyway, that kinda leads me to the favor. You're good in Math right?"
"How'd you know that?"
"You'll kill me...it was an ep we taped two weeks ago. "Karen" was using "Ben" as her accountant."
Brighton groaned "I should have known."
"Anyway, I'm terrible at math...it doesn't make the least bit of sense to me. I mean I know the basics, but geometry and trig just have me floored. I take the SAT next month, and I really want to score well, but the math part killed me on the PSATs." She takes a breath "Could you tutor me?"
"I don't know, that isn't really part of my job description."
"Oh, I don't mean here, I meant at my house or yours on Saturdays. Could you do that....I can pay you too."
"I guess I could, I'll probably need the money, I expect to be fired any minute."
"Why?"
"Are you kidding, everyone hates me here."
"No, Hank does, but he hates everyone. The rest of the crew just need to get to know you. I bet none of them knew you were in film school. You should talk to Paul the lead cameraman. He's done a couple indies, he only works on sitcoms to 'support his habit' as he calls it. And Millie, the set designer, she totally knows her stuff. Have you actually gone up and introduced yourself? Its a cool bunch here."
Fran sits in the rocker in the nursery. Evie stretches with all her might, her rear up in the air and her little arms reaching, Fran bites her nails, determined not to 'interfere' as Max calls it. There's a bit of a wobble, then Eve collapses on the carpet and lets out a powerful wail.
"That's okay, Eve that was a great try." She lifts her little girl to her chest, Eve thanks Fran with a sloppy kiss, and Fran puts her back on the floor to try again. "There's Mommy's girl...you can do it Baby."
"Hi Fran, I'm done with the garage, is it okay if I go to Jenny's house for a while? She just got the new Seventeen Valentines issue!"
"I guess so, if you're back by dinner." Gracie gives Fran a quick hug, and climbs back over the safety gate. "Hey you, I thought you hated me?"
"Oh Fran that was soooo yesterday. See ya."
"Fran! Fran! have I had any phone calls?" Brighton steps easily over the gate into the Nursery.
"No B? A new girlfriend?"
"No from a guy name Paul. I talked to him at work today, and I might be able to work on an Independent film with him this summer." Brighton picks Jonah up out of his crib "What's this, you're going to let your sister crawl before you? That is uncool my boy, totally." Brighton puts the boy on the ground and begins giving him crawling tips. Fran laughs at her two boys on the floor.
"Hey Fran, thanks for getting me this job. Its going to be great!"
The End
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by Brenda The entire Sheffield family is going to England for Maxwell's brother Nigel's wedding. Everyone is happy for Nigel, except Elizabeth Sheffield, who just can't resist one last try at breaking up the happy couple. |
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