7.21 A Crazy Little Thing Called Love

by

Jen aka "Val" and DreamKate
(JollyJen19@aol.com) and (Dreamkate1@aol.com)

Maxwell walked into the living room and set his briefcase down onto the coffee table. He removed his coat and placed it on the sofa next to him as he let out a big sigh. He listened for a moment and upon hearing only silence he called out to Fran.

"Darling I'm home."

He was surprised when the familiar nasal voice did not answer him back. He called once more and again hearing nothing, he assumed she had gone out with the twins for the day. He entered the kitchen and poured himself some left over tea that Niles had made earlier that morning. He sat down and began reading the newspaper. Although the house seemed empty without Fran and the rest of the family, he was grateful for the silence and was anxious to start his little vacation from the studio. He started reading the first article but exhaustion soon overtook him and he dozed off.

Suddenly the door swung open and a startled Maxwell jumped up out of his seat, knocking his mug of tea to the floor. Grace wandered in with a sullen expression plastered across her face.

"Grace, sweetheart, is something the matter?"

"No, Why does everyone keep asking me that today?" and with that she left the kitchen.

Maxwell looked up at the staircase and then back at the broken mug.

Just then Fran entered the kitchen "Did I just hear something break?" she asked, giving her husband a hello kiss.

“I guess I dozed off with my tea in hand. When Grace came in she startled me and this happened,” he said, pointing to the mess.

“Maxwell Sheffield, do you know how hard it is to clean up shards of a broken cup?” said Fran, mustering up her best stern voice.

“No,” Maxwell said meekly.

“Neither do I,” said Fran as a grin escaped her lips, “but I bet I know who does...”

“NILES!!!!!” they screamed simultaneously.

She was working in a bridal shop in Flushing, Queens,
'Til her boyfriend kicked her out in one of those crushing scenes.
What was she to do? Where was she to go? She was out on her fanny...
So over the bridge from Flushing to the Sheffield's door.
She was there to sell make-up, but the father saw more.
She had style! She had flair! She was there.
That's how she became the Nanny!

Who would have guessed that the girl we've described,
Was just exactly what the doctor prescribed?
Now the father finds her beguiling (watch out C.C.!).
And the kids are actually smiling (such joie de vivre!).
She's the lady in red when everybody else is wearing tan...
The flashy girl from Flushing, the Nanny named Fran!

Niles was still sweeping up the broken glass on the floor as Fran raided the fridge for an afternoon snack, “What happened to the quart of Chunky Fudge ice cream we had in the freezer yesterday?"

"Your mother was here."

Fran walked over to Maxwell and put her arms around him.

“How was the doctor Sweetie?” she said in a low voice.

“Fine, everything’s still in working order.”

“Well,” she said, leaning in and nibbling on his ear, “I could have told you that.”

Maxwell smiled and leaned up to kiss Fran, “But, he did bring up something we need to talk about later,” said Maxwell, glancing at Niles.

“So are you ready for a nice relaxing vacation?"

"Definitely, this last week at the studio has been so hectic since we got them to agree not to put us on hiatus. I am just looking forward to a nice quiet and undisturbed weekend with a lot of sleep and a low stress level."

“Good luck finding that here,” said Fran.

Maxwell shot her a questioning look. “Why...”

"Sir," Niles interrupted him. "What Fran is trying to tell you in her own way is that this place isn't exactly "Club Med."

"Niles is right Max. Between the twins and everyone else who pops in and out of this house, who’s got time to sit down. Maybe you need a refresher course in Mr. Mom 101.”

Maxwell's memory took him back to Hanukkah and switching places. He cringed at the thought of having his first vacation in months turn into a similar disaster. "Well Darling , I guess you're right. I 'll just have to put those thoughts of relaxation this weekend out of my mind and focus on how I can help you out."

"Oh Honey, that is so sweet of you to say. But, you know, I've got a better idea."

Max's eyebrow curled up. "What?"

"Well Monday is Valentine's day. Wouldn't it be nice to get away from this and just go on a romantic vacation for two?"

"Yes that does sound nice but, where would we go?"

"Funny you should ask that question."

As she said this, Fran reached behind her where Niles placed an envelope in her hand. "I happened to be in the grocery store with Ma today and would you believe that I was the one millionth customer and so they gave me two free airplane tickets to...” she glanced at the tickets, “Las Vegas?” she glanced back at Niles questioningly, “Er, Las Vegas for the weekend."

"Really?” said Maxwell, taking the tickets from her hand “But we still have no one to watch the children..."

"Oh Max, all we have to worry about is the twins and Ma already agreed to watch them from tomorrow evening on. Besides, I've never been to Vegas and I thought it would be nice to spend Valentine's there. It'll be so romantic. There's entertainment, dancing, dinner and of course, the casinos."

"I don't know, I've never been that lucky at gambling."

Fran seductively crawled her fingers up his back,. "Baby, if you take me to Las Vegas I can guarantee that you will get lucky every night."

Maxwell’s face became flushed. "Niles, enjoy the house, we're going to Las Vegas." He said pulling his wife in for a kiss. Fran smiled a triumphant grin as Maxwell headed to his office to make the hotel arrangements.

“How do you do that?” Niles inquired, once Max was out of earshot.

"How long have I been telling you. Big hair, short skirts and a box of Lady Clairol, ya know just to cover all the bases. A HA. No pun intended."

Niles shook his head.

"Oh and thank you so much Niles for ordering those tickets for me on-line. I owe you one."

"Well I have to admit it Fran, when you came asking me to order tickets for a trip which Mr. Sheffield hadn't even agreed to, I didn't think you could pull it off."

“Hey, how long you known me? A girls gotta do what a girls gotta do. I mean between Max being busy at the studio and me taking care of the twins, and whatever other mishigas I get myself into, whose got time for romance. A Valentine's vacation is the perfect opportunity to rekindle our love and passion."

"What rekindling? C.C. and I can hear you from the guest house."

"Niles! One time, and I swear, Max was just massaging my feet."

"That must have been some massage.”

"So," Fran said, try to change the subject, "What do you have planned for your wife? This will be your first Valentine's day as a married couple."

"Yes I know, and don't think she'd let me forget it either. She keeps leaving hints as to what she wants for a gift and then the next day she changes her mind. Not only have her mood swings gotten worse this last trimester, but now she's hit that depression phase. She thinks the baby will never come and she will look the way she does for the rest of her life."

"Oy! What did you tell her to make her feel better?"

"I told her the truth. That she's always looked like that, but hasn't noticed until now."

“You didn’t!"

He nodded, “So?”

“Niles, you gotta stop that. I mean, Ms. Babcock and I have never been the best of friends but when it comes to our weight us women gotta stick together."

Just then a knock was heard at the back door. Fran went to answer it. "Oh hi Val, what are you doing here? I thought you and Fred were going to take a road trip while he has time off?”

"Yeah we were going to, but then the car broke down. Fred went to have it fixed."

"What happened?"

"Something with the Transition. See, everyone thinks that moving from New York to LA affects just us humans but you see, our car was affected too."

"That’s transmission Val. It has to do with the, .you know, engine thingie. Sheesh"

"That's what I said," Val said in a defensive tone.

Val sat down at the kitchen table and Fran pulled out a box of Louisiana crunch cake from underneath the counter.

Suddenly a loud scream emanated from the intercom. "NILES!!!!!!"

Niles dragged himself over to the intercom to respond to the call. "What do you want bloated brunette?"

“Get over here dust king.”

Niles groaned as he headed out the door towards the guest house.

“Gee Fran, it seems so quiet today.”

“I know Val, it’s almost eerie. Ma has the twins, Maxwell’s in the office and I think Gracie’s upstairs. With the exception of the Hormone Princess out back, it’s been a pretty quiet day.

“Is she that bad?”

“Oh yeah. Poor Niles, she has him up at all hours of the night, cooking and ordering him around. This past week her mood swings have been so out of control. In fact yesterday she asked Niles to make her a chocolate cake. But when he made vanilla by mistake she smashed the cake with her hands and threw it on his lap.”

Val had a shocked expression on her face, “You're kidding!" she paused, "Well, I guess it’s worth it huh?”

Fran had a dreamy expression on her face. “Yeah, becoming a mother is the greatest feeling in the world. That is, once you get over having two watermelons being yanked out a pin hole.

“But I don’t like watermelons.”

“Okay,” Fran said, glaring at her, “Pick any big fruit.”

“Well, I like Elton John.”

“VAL!”

“What?”

“Any-who, have you and Fred talked about having kids?”

“Yeah, but we decided to wait a while. I mean, having a baby is a really big thing.”

“Oh is it Val?” said Fran, raising her eyebrows.

“Yeah it is, I mean, that’s like a whole other person.”

“Yeah, that is a big thing to handle,” Fran said, stifling a laugh.

“But I gotta admit, being around the twins has made me think about it a lot more these days.”

“Ya know Val,” said Fran with a sly grin, “The best way to make this sorta decision is to get hands on experience. And being that I’m such a good friend, I’m gonna let you drive over to Ma’s and pick up the twins for me.”

“Fran, you’re so good to me.” she said, raising from her seat.

“I know.”

As Val drove off a bright smile appeared on Fran’s face as she escaped to the living room. She leisurely flopped on the couch and flipped on the set.

Like sands of the hourglass, so are the Days of our Lives...

 

Maxwell crept out of the nursery and began tiptoeing towards the master bedroom. Glancing across the open second floor he saw that Grace’s light was on and decided to investigate.

“Gracie?” Maxwell announced softly, peering into her room. He found her sitting at the desk, illuminated only by a small lamp.

“Yes Daddy?” She said, turning around.

“Honey, it’s past midnight, what are you still doing up?” he said, sitting on the edge of the bed.

“Oh I was just thinking,” she said, staring off into space.

“Anything in particular?” said Fran, who had appeared at the door. She joined Maxwell on the bed.

“Okay spill,” said Fran.

Grace sighed loudly, “Well, you remember Patrick right? Well, some girls at school told me that he’s gonna ask me to be his Valentine tomorrow.”

“Aww Sweetie, that’s great.”

“Yeah...” said Gracie, sighing again.

“That isn’t great?” asked Fran.

“I just don't think I'm ready to be anyone’s Valentine.”

“Honey, you’re fourteen years old, you should be excited about this.”

“Fran, I think we’ve established that Grace isn’t your average teenager.”

“Maybe so, but,” said Fran, cupping Grace’s face in her hands, “Honey, you aren’t a little girl anymore. As much as you’d like to cling to it. You are becoming a beautiful young lady, and the guys in your school are bound to notice.”

“Fran’s right, as much as I hate to admit it, she is. She does have that annoying habit.” Fran elbowed Max in the ribs.

“What’s so bad about this Patrick fellow asking you to be his Valentine?”

“I don’t know. I mean, I like him a lot but...well,” Grace took in a deep breath before letting out her fears...“What if I don’t always like him, what if I end up liking someone else, what if he dumps me, what if...”

“Whoa slow down, Gracie honey, one day at a time.” Fran turned to Maxwell, “I guess it’s genetic.”

Maxwell put his hand on Grace’s shoulder as he lead her under her covers. “Go to sleep, and tomorrow you can make your decision about the boy. Whatever you’re comfortable with he should accept. Otherwise what were you worried about keeping him in the first place.”

“I guess you’re right,” Grace yawned, “Goodnight Daddy, Goodnight Fran.”

“Sometimes it’s hard to remember she’s only fourteen.” said Fran, climbing under the covers.

"She’ll always be my baby, even if she isn’t the youngest anymore. But I can’t help but feel responsible for all her anxieties.”

“Maxwell, your wife died. You dealt with it the best you could. There was no way that wasn’t going to affect her. But I think she came out just fine. No one’s gonna be the perfect parent, it takes experience. It’s like what I was saying to Val...”

“Are Val and Fred thinking about having kids?”

“Yeah, well, they’re considering it. I told her she should start practicing now with the twins. I just hope they don’t run into the same problems we did.”

“Yes, thank God we don’t have to go through that again.” said Max, climbing under the covers with her.

“What do you mean?” Fran popped up.

“Well Darling, we do have five kids. Which brings me what I wanted to talk to you about. My doctor thinks it would be a good idea if I had a vasectomy.”

“Honey, but what if we wanted to have more kids?”

“You want more kids?”

“I don’t know. But...well...”

“Darling, I think five kids is plenty. I thought we were done with all this. I mean, we did just have twins.”

“I just don’t think we should rush into this.”

“Believe me, I’m not. Don’t you think I discussed this a lot with my doctor. It is my ....decision.”

“OK, but don’t forget what my part is in your little decision.”

“Hey it’s...oh, you meant the operation.”

“I...well....” Fran became very flustered and finally gave up, “Good Night Mister Sheffield.”

“Good Night Miss Fine.”

They rolled over to opposite sides and fell asleep.

“Pssst...Niles,” Maxwell whispered, creeping down the stairs, “Is Fran in here?”

“No,” said Niles, flipping over the heart shaped pancakes he was making. Maxwell came the rest of the way down the stairs and sat at the table.

“What time is your doctor’s appointment?”

“Oh not till...hey, how did you...”

“Hey, we all have our talents. Does Fran know where your going?”

“I told her it was my decision.”

“Then why are you sneaking out?” Niles asked matter-of-factly.

“I...um...gee, those pancakes smell great Niles,” said Maxwell, reaching for the finished batch.

“Nuh uh uh, you can’t eat before they cut you.” said Niles, pulling the plate away.

“How do you know that?”

“After C.C. hit the seventh month I had a consultation with a doctor.”

“Really?" he paused, "Did you go through with it?”

Niles shook his head.

“Well,” said Max, glancing up at the wall clock, “I should get going.”

Niles brought in a breakfast tray, filled with the special heart shaped pancakes, syrup, fresh strawberries and other goodies. He’d even bought a bottle of non-alcoholic champagne.

“I don’t want to eat, C.C. whined, crossing her arms defiantly, "I’m a big fat whale.” She barely took notice of Niles efforts.

“No, you’re beautiful.” Niles said quietly.

“Why you little...wait, what did you say?”

“I said, you are beautiful.”

“I am?” said C.C., drying her eyes.

Niles handed her a card, opening it C.C. read the note aloud. “Happy Valentine’s Day to the most beautiful, not fat, not ugly, mother of my child.” CC looked at up at him with a weak tear stained smile.

“OK, so I’m no Shakespeare. I’m new at this nice thing.”

“Did you mean all this?” she pointed at the card.

“Of course.”

“Then it’s the greatest card I’ve ever received.”

Niles leaned in to give her a kiss. His face stopped inches from hers.

“So,” he asked seductively.

“So...how ‘bout those pancakes?”

Maxwell crept towards the door, his feet creaking the floor boards.

“You’re going?”

Maxwell whipped around to find Fran standing at the foot of the stairs, cradling a sleeping Jonah in her arms.

“Oh, Fran...yeah, I have a 10am appointment.”

“Oh,” Fran’s face fell, “Maxwell I’m sorry.”

“You are?”

“Yes. Don’t look so surprised. You were bound to win a fight some time.”

Maxwell smiled.

“You have to understand Maxwell, it’s not that I’m upset about what you want to do. It’s the fact that we never discussed it. I know that it’s your body but...”

“But it is our marriage.” Maxwell finished.

“I’m just not sure we want to, well...cut off all our options.”

Just then Jonah stirred in his mother’s arms and began to babble.

“Why don’t we go put our son back in his crib.”

“What about your appointment?”

“Why don’t we discuss this further...on the plane to Vegas.”

Just then Grace bounded down the stairs in a robe with two outfits in her hands.

“Fran, there you are, which one?” she said, holding up the two red outfits.

“Gracie, I thought you weren’t gonna do the whole Valentine's thing?”

“Well I thought about what you said and, well, I’m gonna grow up eventually, I might as well practice.”

“Good for you Grace, and the red sweater set focuses on your...”

“The red dress it is,” said Maxwell and Gracie simultaneously.

“You are so your father’s kid. Now go wash your hair and I’ll help you style it,” Fran said, shooing her back up the stairs.

“You know, we’ve gotten pretty good at this parenting thing,” said Maxwell, leading Fran up the stairs behind Grace.

“We should be, we have five kids.”

“Happy Valentine’s Day Fran.”

“Happy Valentine’s Day Max.”

"Ma, thank you sooo much for taking the twins," said Fran, packing Val's trunk.

"Sweetheart, what am I here for?"

"Uh huh, and you are being so helpful because?"

"You just keep your successful, rich, handsome husband happy, and we'll be even."

"Ma, you really are something else," she said giving her mom a warm hug.

"Bye bye sweethearts," Fran said, putting the twin's car seats into the back of the car. "Mommy loves you."

Fran kept kissing and hugging the twins, unable to pull herself away.

"Frannie, you're gonna miss your flight. Now go, We'll be just fine."

"Fran!" Maxwell called from the doorway, "The taxi will be here in five minutes."

"Don't forget to..."

"I'll call you when we get to the hotel Ma."

"No, I was gonna remind you to play my birthday numbers, I gotta feelin'" said Sylvia, climbing into the back seat.

Fran stood at the curb waving as the car pulled away.

"Darling, you ready, I've got us all packed." said Max, joining her at the curb. "I hope you've packed all the clothes you'll need."

"Hey, who needs clothes, it's Valentine's day."

So wha'd ya think? Any good? Be sure
to post your two cents worth on the

7.22 Les Mishpuchah by IvanaBGood The birth of Niles' and CC's baby is finally here! A usual birth? Highly unlikely for this unusual couple. Tune in and find out the results of the Name and Gender poll. A famous celebrity makes a guest appearance.

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