7.28 The (Big) Top
by
Julia S. O'Brien
(Scout3160@aol.com)
COLD OPENING
FADE IN:
INT. SHEFFIELD BREAKFAST NOOK - LATE AFTERNOON
FRAN AND MAX SIT AT THE TABLE ENJOYING A CUP OF TEA TOGETHER.
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FRAN Oy, I didn't think Eve and Jonah were eva' gonna settle down and take their naps today! They sure have a lot to say to each otha' in their own private language!MAXWELL (SMILING) Yes, they've been doing quite a bit of babbling lately. I suppose it won't be long before they'll be saying their first words.FRAN Ooo! Do ya think they'll have an English accent? I mean, the other kids don't. (THINKING) Maybe they'll sound like my side of the family. |
MAXWELL TRIES UNSUCCESSFULLY TO SUPPRESS A SHUDDER.
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MAXWELL (PATTING HER HAND) Yes, well, we'll worry about that when the time comes. |
FRAN GIVES HIM A LOOK.
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MAXWELL (CONT'D) (CLEARING HIS THROAT) Right now I'm just thankful that they're still so cooperative about taking a nap at all. With Brighton and Grace off on their own affairs and Niles and C.C. at the doctor's with Emily . . . it gives you and I a few moments alone. |
HE LEANS IN TO GIVE HER A SOFT, LINGERING KISS.
SFX: THE SOUND OF A DOOR CRASHING OPEN AND THEN SLAMMING SHUT.
GRACE STORMS INTO THE KITCHEN, OBVIOUSLY IN A FOUL MOOD.
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GRACE I can't believe that Jennie could do this to me! She's supposed to be my best friend!MAXWELL (SIGHING) Well, that was fun. Let's do it again sometime, shall we? |
FADE OUT.
END OF COLD OPENING
ACT ONE
SCENE ONE
FADE IN:
INT. BREAKFAST NOOK - CONTINUOUS
EVERYONE IS EXACTLY AS WE LEFT THEM.
GRACE BEGINS TO CRY. CONCERNED, FRAN GETS UP TO CONSOLE HER.
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FRAN Gracie, sweetheart, what's the matta'? |
SFX: A WAIL FROM THE BABY MONITOR.
FRAN Oy. Max, honey, could you go?MAXWELL Going. |
HE GETS UP AND EXITS TO THE NURSERY.
GRACE, STILL SOBBING AND BEGINNING TO HICCUP, STARTS TO EXPLAIN.
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GRACE Jennie and I were at Century City Marketplace. . .FRAN (INTERRUPTING) Oh, I love that place! Did ya stop inta Bloomingdales? They've got a fantastic sale on swimsuits goin' on! I bought a bikini that's gonna send your father into . . . (OFF GRACE'S LOOK) Oops, sorry sweetie, your story. Go on . . . |
GRACE SNUFFLES LOUDLY AND WIPES HER NOSE WITH THE BACK OF HER HAND.
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FRAN Gracie, don't do that! It's disgusting. |
FRAN LOOKS AROUND AND SPOTTING ONE OF NILES' PRISTINE DISHTOWELS, HANDS IT TO HER. GRACE BLOWS LOUDLY AND HANDS THE TOWEL BACK. FRAN LOOKS AT IT SKEPTICALLY, THEN SHRUGS AND PUTS IT BACK OVER THE CHAIR.
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GRACE Anyway, while we were there, we ran into Marcie and her brother, Jack . . .FRAN Marcie . . . is she the one with the gorgeous red hair, or the one whose parents have a vacation home in Spain? |
GRACE GLOWERS AT HER.
FRAN HOLDS UP HER HANDS IN DEFENSE.
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GRACE (CONT'D) Both, if you must know. Plus, her brother is a major babe, who Jennie's had a crush on for like, a thousand years.FRAN Oy. Ya know, some people have everything! Meanwhile, I see ya at least had your Gucci bag and matching shoes. |
FRAN AND GRACE BOTH STOP TO ADMIRE THEM.
FRAN SITS DOWN IN ONE OF THE CHAIRS.
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FRAN So, what happened honey? |
GRACE PLOPS INTO A CHAIR AND BURIES HER HEAD IN HER HANDS.
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GRACE Nothing! Just Marcie's brother invited Jennie to a party on their father's yacht and she just took off with him and left me! |
SHE BURSTS INTO TEARS AGAIN.
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GRACE How could she do that, Fran?! I had to take the limo home all by myself! I felt like such a dork! |
FRAN REACHES OUT TO STROKE HER HAIR, BUT JUST THEN NILES AND C.C. ENTER FROM THE DIRECTION OF THE BACK DOOR CARRYING A SCREAMING CHILD OF THEIR OWN.
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NILES (OFF THEIR EXPRESSIONS) I don't know what to do with her! She hasn't stopped crying since we left the doctor's office!C.C. And of course Old Mother Hubbard here (RE: NILES), picks now to be all out of bones.NILES Well, if I didn't have to keep going to the cupboard for you . . .FRAN Oh, Calgon! Take me away! |
DISSOLVE TO:
ACT ONE
SCENE TWO
INT. SHEFFIELD FAMILY ROOM - A FEW MINUTES LATER.
C.C. SITS ON THE COUCH ROCKING EMILY, WHO IS STILL CRYING.
NILES STANDS AT HER SIDE WRINGING HIS HANDS. GRACE IS COLLAPSED IN A CHAIR SNIFFLING.
BRIGHTON STICKS HIS HEAD INSIDE THE DOOR.
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BRIGHTON Hey, do you think you could keep things to a dull roar? The twins are screaming upstairs, these two are screaming down here, and I'm tryin' to study for finals! |
GRACE WIPES HER EYES WITH HER HANDS.
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GRACE Shut up, Brighton! You're such a selfish jerk.BRIGHTON I'm selfish? Hey, next time you're cramming for an exam I'll stand outside your door and scream. See how many A's you get then.FRAN G'nug already, you two. I can't hear myself think as it is. Gracie, honey, your face is gonna be all puffy in the morning. Why don't you go lie down for a while and put a cold cloth over your eyes?BRIGHTON Or better yet, in your mouth. |
GRACE THROWS ONE OF HER SHOES AT BRIGHTON, WHO DUCKS NIMBLY AND STICKS HIS TONGUE OUT AT HER. HE EXITS IN A RUSH AS SHE CHASES AFTER HIM WITH THE OTHER SHOE IN HER HAND. EMILY CONTINUES TO SCREECH IN THE BACKGROUND.
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FRAN Well, that's two down. |
SFX: THE PHONE RINGS.
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FRAN (CONT'D) Oy. |
SHE PICKS UP THE RECEIVER.
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FRAN (CONT'D) Hello? Wha'? You're gonna have to speak up, I can't hear ya. Who did ya say you were? Oh, Maggie! Hiya, honey! Can ya hang on a sec? |
MOTIONING TO NILES, SHE COVERS THE PHONE WITH HER HAND.
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FRAN (CONT'D) Niles, didn't you say that Emily was gonna have her first shots today? |
HE NODS.
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FRAN (CONT'D) And did she? |
HE NODS AGAIN.
SHE GRABS HIM BY THE TIE, AND BELLOWS OVER THE DIN.
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FRAN (CONT'D) Then give her some Infant Tylenol! |
HE SMILES AS THE LITTLE LIGHT COMES BACK ON IN HIS BRAIN.
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NILES (NODDING) Oh, of course! I don't know why I didn't think of that! I totally lost my head! |
HE EXITS TO THE MEDICINE CABINET.
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FRAN (CONT'D) Uh huh, it's a little different story when it's your own kid screamin' in your ear. (RE: PHONE) No, honey, I didn't mean you. Now, what was that you were sayin'? (LISTENS AND HOLDS PHONE AWAY FROM HER EAR) Oy. |
MAXWELL ENTERS WITH A CRYING CHILD IN EACH ARM.
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MAXWELL Fran, darling, something seems to be amiss here.FRAN What, is it a full moon?! (RE: PHONE) No, sweetie, your fatha' just walked in. Hang on a minute. (TO MAXWELL) Max, Maggie's on the phone, ya wanna trade? |
MAXWELL PASSES THE TWINS TO FRAN AND TAKES THE PHONE.
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MAXWELL Margaret! How's my girl? . . . Oh. I'm sorry to hear that. |
MAGGIE'S HYSTERIA ON THE OTHER END CAN BE PLAINLY HEARD AS MAXWELL TRIES TO HAND THE PHONE BACK TO FRAN. SHE WAVES THE SOBBING TWINS AT HIM AND HE RETREATS.
NILES ENTERS WITH THE MEDICINE.
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NILES Here we are, my darling! (RE: UPROAR) Oh, my, what's going on now?C.C. What does it look like, you baboon? All hell's breaking loose. And what took you so long? Emily could have gotten back faster on her own!NILES Now, now, Chicken Little, don't get your feathers ruffled, Papa's here with the medicine. |
C.C. SNATCHES THE BOTTLE FROM HIM.
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C.C. I hope you brought something stronger for me!NILES (WHISPERING IN HER EAR) Harder perhaps, but that will have to wait. |
FRAN ROLLS HER EYES.
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FRAN Ya know, Niles, I think I'll give the twins some of that Tylenol, too. From the way they're pullin' at their ears, they're either doin' a bang-up imitation of Carol Burnett or they're both comin' down with an ear infection.MAXWELL (HANGING UP THE PHONE) Well, this is turning into quite a day. Margaret has just had a terrific row with Michael, Grace is in tears in her room, and we've got three babies all under the weather down here. What else could go wrong? |
BRIGHTON STICKS HIS HEAD AROUND THE CORNER.
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BRIGHTON Uh, Dad? Mr. Sherry is on your business line - says it's urgent.MAXWELL (MASSAGING HIS TEMPLES) I had to ask. What a circus!NILES And if I'm not mistaken, here come the clowns. |
YETTA AND SAMMY SHUFFLE IN, WEARING BRIGHTLY COLORED, MISMATCHED OUTFITS AND OVER-SIZED SUNGLASSES. THEY ARE FOLLOWED BY VAL AND FRED, WHO APPEAR TO BE IN THE MIDST OF A HEATED DISPUTE, AS VAL HAS JUST CLOBBERED FRED ON THE HEAD WITH HER PURSE. SYLVIA AND MORTY BRING UP THE REAR, EACH BEARING BUCKETS OF TAKE-OUT FOOD.
FADE OUT.
ACT ONE
SCENE THREE
FADE IN:
INT. FAMILY ROOM - CONTINUOUS
FRAN SETS THE TWINS IN THE PLAYPEN WHERE YETTA, SAMMY AND MORTY HOVER OVER THEM. VAL AND FRED CONTINUE THEIR ARGUMENT IN A CORNER.
C.C. HANDS EMILY TO NILES.
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C.C. Here, Dr. Quinn, I'm outta here.MAXWELL Darling, I'd love to stay and visit, but C.C. and I had best take that call from Maury in my office, where it's a bit more quiet. |
HE AND C.C. MAKE A HASTY EXIT.
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FRAN Cowards. |
SYLVIA HANDS THE CONTAINERS OF FOOD TO FRAN.
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SYLVIA Fran, I'm tellin' ya, that Val and her husband are the biggest schmegeges! They can't even pick out a decent car! Have ya eva' tried to squeeze six people into a Volkswagon Beetle?! Not to mention the fact that only the passenger door opens, and we all hadda crawl in and outta that! |
SHE RUBS HER BACK.
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FRAN Why didn't ya take Daddy's car, Ma?SYLVIA Oh, that's in the shop again. (RE: WHIMPERING BABIES) So what's wrong with the little angels?FRAN Well, Emily just had her first shots today and I kinda think that Evie and Jonah are gettin' anotha' ear infection.SYLVIA Awwwww! Poor babies! Come here to your Nana, sweethearts. |
SHE SCOOPS UP EVE.
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SYLVIA (CONT'D) Ya know, your cousin, Marcia's kids had that problem, too. Maybe it's hereditary.FRAN Ma, Marcia's kids were constantly shovin' food in their ears. It's not hereditary.SYLVIA Ya never know . . . |
SHE COOS OVER EVE AND USES THE OPPORTUNITY TO TAKE A GOOD, HARD LOOK INTO HER EARS.
VAL WALKS OVER.
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VAL Fran, tell Fred what a stupid idea it is to spend our honeymoon at LEGOLAND.FRAN Val, I thought you and Fred already had a honeymoon in Atlantic City.VAL Yeah, but we had just gotten married then, we barely knew each other! I want to do something romantic, now!FRED (AS IF RECITING) At LEGOLAND, you can visit ancient Egypt, the Amazon rain forest and the Arctic, all in one day. What could be more romantic than that?VAL They're all made outta LEGOs, Fred!FRAN Honey, I learned a long time ago not to meddle in otha' people's affairs. (OFF NILES' REACTION) Shut up, Niles. You and Fred are just gonna have to work this one out for yourselves. Besides . . . |
SHE ATTEMPTS TO JUGGLE BOTH THE FOOD AND EVE, AS SYLVIA PASSES HER THE BABY IN ORDER TO PICK UP JONAH.
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FRAN (CONT'D) I've kinda got my hands full. |
DISSOLVE TO:
ACT ONE
SCENE FOUR
INT. SHEFFIELD DINING ROOM - CONTINUOUS
FRAN ENTERS, FOLLOWED BY HER ENTOURAGE. SHE PUTS EVE IN ONE OF THE HIGHCHAIRS WHILE SYLVIA PLACES JONAH IN THE OTHER ONE. EVERYONE BEGINS TO SIT DOWN AROUND THE TABLE.
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VAL I just think that Fred should take me on a romantic trip - like Max took you, Fran.FRAN Sweetie, romance ain't always what it's cracked up to be. Look what happened to us! Sure, we were marooned on a tropical island alone for days, but I spent most of the time suckin' poison outta Max's tuchus.FRED Ewwwww!!!!!! That's disgusting! How am I supposed to eat now? |
HE LOOKS DOWN AT HIS FILLED PLATE.
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FRED (CONT'D) Hey, I thought we got creamed corn with this.SYLVIA Oh! I bet Morty left it in the family room! I'll get it! |
SHE EXITS.
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VAL Yeah, but now ya got a gorgeous home and five beautiful children, Fran. |
JONAH PICKS UP A HANDFUL OF HIS MASHED POTATOES AND THROWS THEM AT EVE, SETTING OFF A FRESH CHORUS OF PROTEST FROM HER. BRIGHTON ARRIVES ON THE SCENE IN RAGGED SWEATSHIRT AND JEANS, PLUNKS HIMSELF DOWN AT THE TABLE UNCEREMONIOUSLY AND BEGINS PILING FOOD ON HIS PLATE.
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BRIGHTON Hey, why didn't anyone tell me we were eating?! |
HE TAKES A HUGE MOUTHFUL.
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BRIGHTON (CONT'D) Gracie says she's never eating again though, so can I have her share? |
FRAN SURVEYS HER FAMILY AND SIGHS.
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FRAN Yeah, but not everyone is as lucky as I am, Val. |
MAXWELL AND C.C. ENTER.
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MAXWELL Darling, I hate to rush off like this, but one of our biggest sponsors has pulled out of the show and C.C. and I have to go into the studio for an emergency meeting.C.C. Yes, it's a shame we'll have to miss dining with you and Colonel Sanders, but I guess we'll just have to content ourselves with White Zinfandel and leftover brie again.NILES (WHISPERING) I thought, as far as you were concerned, all those blowhard TV executives could eat . . .C.C. Niles, darling.NILES Yes, dear?C.C. Shut up.NILES (SMIRKING) Yes, dear.MAXWELL (TO FRAN) So, I guess I'll see you later, then. You seem to have everything in hand here. |
MAGGIE ENTERS FROM THE FRONT DOOR, SUITCASE IN HAND.
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MAGGIE Fran, Daddy, I hope you still have that spare room, because I've just left Michael! |
SHE BURSTS INTO TEARS.
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FRAN Oh, yeah, everything's just dandy! |
FADE OUT.
END OF ACT ONE
ACT TWO
SCENE ONE
FADE IN:
INT. MAXWELL AND FRAN'S BEDROOM - LATER THAT NIGHT
FRAN LIES ASLEEP IN THE DARKENED ROOM. QUIETLY, MAXWELL CREEPS INTO THE ROOM AND SITS DOWN ON THE EDGE OF THE BED TO REMOVE HIS SHOES. INSTANTLY, FRAN SITS STRAIGHT UP IN BED.
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FRAN OK, I'm up! I'm up! What's the matta'?! What's wrong?!MAXWELL Shh, shh, darling! Everything's all right. It's me. |
HE REACHES OUT A HAND TO REASSURE HER AND SHE SLOWLY RELAXES, SETTLING BACK DOWN IN THE BED.
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FRAN Oh, Max. It's just you.MAXWELL "Just me?" (CHUCKLING) Time was I would have gotten a bit more enthusiasm, had you awakened to find me in your bed.FRAN (SMILING SLEEPILY) That was before I had five of your children to look after.MAXWELL I'm sorry that I couldn't be here to help. Did you get everyone quieted down all right?FRAN Yeah. The Tylenol worked its usual magic on the little ones. Niles got Emily settled down OK and took her home. The twins were runnin' a fever, so I gave them another dose of medicine before I put them to bed. I'll have to take them to the doctor in the morning. |
MAXWELL CONTINUES TO GET READY FOR BED, LOOSENING HIS TIE AND TAKING OFF HIS SHIRT AS FRAN TALKS.
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MAXWELL What about Grace and Margaret?FRAN Gracie and I had a good talk after she calmed down. She was just feelin' a little left out. We'll get things patched up between her and Jennie again. Maybe she can have her own party or something. |
DRESSED IN PAJAMA BOTTOMS, MAXWELL CLIMBS INTO BED, AND SNUGGLES UNDER THE BLANKETS WITH FRAN.
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FRAN (CONT'D) Maggie and Michael are gonna be a little harder. I still don't know what they were fightin' about. If Michael hadn't been doin' a shoot right here in L.A., she probably would have stayed there and worked things out with him.MAXWELL Yes, I thought of that. We'll try to get it sorted out in the morning. |
HE PUTS HIS ARMS AROUND HER WAIST, GENTLY KISSING HER SHOULDER.
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FRAN How did your meeting go? |
MAXWELL SIGHS.
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MAXWELL Oh, it's a mess. The executives are all worried about what is probably just a minor slip in our ratings, but the loss of one of our biggest sponsors has them panicked. Frankly, I don't know what to think.FRAN (THOUGHTFUL) Max?MAXWELL (SLEEPILY) Hmmm?FRAN No matter what happens, I love you.MAXWELL (SMILING) I love you too, Fran.FRAN (GIGGLING) And we'll always have Paris.MAXWELL Yes. And those five kids. |
THEY BOTH DISSOLVE IN LAUGHTER AS WE . . .
FADE OUT.
ACT TWO
SCENE TWO
FADE IN:
INT. SHEFFIELD KITCHEN - THE NEXT MORNING
FRAN IS ALONE AT THE MOMENT, TALKING ON THE PHONE.
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FRAN Yes, Ma, I'm takin' the twins to the doctor this morning. . . . Yes, I'm positive they don't have anything stuck in their ears. . . . Because I looked, Ma! . . . No, I don't know what Maggie and Michael were fightin' about. She's still asleep. . . . No, I'm not gonna wake her up and ask her! . . . Yes, Ma. . . . Yes, Ma. Hey, Ma? Why don't ya go see what Daddy's doin'? . . . Yes, Ma, I'll be sure to call ya when I get home. . . . OK. . . . I love you, too, Ma. . . . Bye. |
SHE HANGS UP.
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FRAN (CONT'D) Oy. |
NILES ENTERS WITH EMILY.
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FRAN Hiya, Niles! How's little Emily feelin' this morning? |
SHE GETS UP AND CROSSES OVER TO THEM, EXTENDING HER FINGER TO EMILY, WHO IMMEDIATELY GRABS IT AND HOLDS ON TIGHT.
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NILES (SMILING) Right as rain! Isn't it amazing how quickly they bounce back at this age?FRAN Yeah. Would that we could all be so lucky!NILES Uh oh. I sense all is not right in the Sheffield camp? |
NILES PUTS EMILY INTO AN INFANT SWING KEPT IN THE SHEFFIELD KITCHEN JUST FOR HER, AND SETS IT TO MOTION. EMILY FINDS HER FIST AND BEGINS SUCKING ON IT, VIGOROUSLY. FRAN SITS BACK DOWN WHILE NILES POURS THEM BOTH A CUP OF COFFEE.
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FRAN I dunno, Niles. Ya know, it's funny. I always used to think that once ya got to be an adult, you didn't really need parents - ya know, except for an occasional meal or to bail ya outta your credit card debt, or something. |
NILES SITS DOWN AT THE TABLE.
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FRAN (CONT'D) But, Maggie, Brighton and Gracie still need us as much as eva' - maybe more. I guess my motha' knew what she was talkin' about when she said, "Little people, little problems. Big people, big problems."NILES Are things that serious between Miss Margaret and Michael, then?FRAN I dunno. Probably not. But ya can't help but worry, ya know? |
NILES PATS HER HAND.
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NILES I know. It's what a parent does.FRAN And then there's Max and C.C.'s show . . . Sometimes it's all enough ta make ya scream.NILES I know. But things have a way of working out, one way or another. Life goes on. You'll see. |
GRACE ENTERS WITH A BOUNCE IN HER STEP.
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GRACE Oh, hi, Niles! Fran! Guess what?! Jennie just called, and Jack has this gorgeous best friend named Josh that she thinks would be perfect for me! And I was wondering . . . do you think I could have like, a pool party or something, and invite everyone? You know, so we could all get aquatinted? Without making it obvious or anything, I mean.FRAN Sure, sweetie, I don't see why not.GRACE Thanks, Fran! |
SHE GRABS AN ORANGE AND STARTS TO SKIP OUT.
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GRACE (CONT'D) Oh, by the way, the twins are awake. Maggie is too. She says she wants to talk to you. |
GRACE EXITS.
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FRAN Speakin' on life goin' on . . . |
FADE OUT.
ACT TWO
SCENE THREE
INT. SHEFFIELD GUEST BEDROOM - A SHORT WHILE LATER
FRAN SITS ON MAGGIE'S BED ATTEMPTING TO PUT SOCKS ON JONAH. MAGGIE HOLDS EVE, WHO IS SQUIRMING TO GET DOWN AND EXPLORE.
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FRAN So then what happened, honey?MAGGIE Oh, I don't know. I guess I yelled back something about his spending more time with his sexy underwear models than he does with me, and before I knew it he was slamming the door behind him. It was a really stupid fight, Fran.FRAN Yeah, they usually are. |
SHE RELEASES JONAH AND SETS HIM ON THE FLOOR WHERE HE IS SOON JOINED BY HIS TWIN SISTER. THE TWO OF THEM CRAWL HAPPILY OFF INTO MAGGIE'S CLOSET.
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FRAN I remember your father and me havin' a real doozey over my paperback novels bein' on the same shelf as his Shakespeare! (SHE SHAKES HER HEAD IN DISBELIEF) Those were the days.MAGGIE So, what do you think I should do, Fran?FRAN Well, I think you should talk to Michael about it, honey. As long as you can still talk about a problem, it can still be worked out. It's when ya stop talkin' that the trouble starts.MAGGIE Somehow, I can't imagine that ever happening to you, Fran.FRAN Yeah, I don't think your father could imagine it either. |
EVE EMERGES FROM MAGGIES CLOSET WEARING A PAIR OF MAGGIE'S LEOPARD PRINT PANTIES ON HER HEAD. JONAH IS BUSY CHEWING ON A SHOE AND BEGINNING TO RUB HIS EAR AGAIN.
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FRAN I gotta get these two in to see the doctor. Ya wanna come along? I could use some help with these little pishers, and it's not far from your apartment. I could drop ya off after.MAGGIE Sure, Fran. |
FRAN SCOOPS UP EVE AND PULLS MAGGIE'S PANTIES OFF OF HER HEAD.
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FRAN Meanwhile, I'm glad to see that both of my girls have excellent taste in lingerie! Although, I think Eve has a few things to learn yet about style. |
MAGGIE GIVES FRAN A HUG.
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MAGGIE Thanks for listening.FRAN Any time, sweetie. Just remember, you're married now. The first person you should be tryin' to talk to is Michael. Of course if he's bein' a complete scmuck, you just leave him to me. |
MAGGIE GIVES HER A QUIZZICAL LOOK.
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FRAN An hour or so alone with my motha' will straighten him right up! |
FADE OUT.
ACT TWO
SCENE FOUR
EXT. SHEFFIELD POOLSIDE - A FEW DAYS LATER
FRAN AND VAL ARE IN BATHING SUITS SITTING AT A TABLE BY THE LARGE, INGROUND POOL, WHILE EVE AND JONAH SPLASH ABOUT IN THEIR OWN SMALL, INFLATABLE POOL NEXT TO THEIR MOTHER. MAGGIE AND MICHAEL ARE AT ANOTHER TABLE NEARBY, THEIR HEADS CLOSE TOGETHER, THE ARGUMENT OBVIOUSLY RESOLVED. GRACE AND HER FRIENDS MUNCH FOOD FROM A BUFFET TABLE, SWIM AND SPLASH EACH OTHER, THOROUGHLY ENJOYING THEMSELVES.
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VAL Oh, what a perfect day, Fran! Can you believe we're swimmin' in April?!FRAN I know! Back home in New York we'd still be tryin' to decide whetha' it was safe to put the snow shovels away! |
A GOOD-LOOKING TEENAGE BOY DOES A CANNON BALL DIVE INTO THE POOL, SENDING UP A HUGE PLUME OF WATER AND ELICITING A COLLECTIVE SHRIEK FROM THE GIRLS. FRAN AND VAL WATCH AS HE SWIMS OVER TO GRACE AND STARTS TALKING TO HER.
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VAL Looks like Gracie has a new boyfriend.FRAN (SMILING) Yeah. Seems like just yesterday she was only a little girl in pig-tails. They grow up so fast, Val. |
FRED WALKS TO THE EDGE OF THE POOL, HIS SWIM TRUNKS PULLED UP PRACTICALLY TO HIS CHEST AND A PINK, INFLATABLE SWAN AROUND HIS WAIST.
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VAL Some of them never grow up. |
THEY BOTH LAUGH.
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FRAN Did you guys eva' decide where to go on your honeymoon?VAL Yeah. We're gonna go to Hershey's Chocolate World in Oakdale. |
FRAN GIVES HER A LOOK OF DISBELIEF.
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FRAN Now there's an idea. What could be more romantic then strollin' down city roads with streetlights designed to look like Hershey's Kisses?VAL Exactly. |
NILES APPROACHES CARRYING EMILY. HE IS DRESSED IN SWIM TRUNKS, A TROPICAL PRINT SHIRT AND SUNGLASSES. A THICK LAYER OF WHITE SUNSCREEN ADORNS HIS NOSE.
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NILES I'm going to take Emily in out of this hot sun. Do you ladies need anything?FRAN No, thanks Niles. I should take the twins in anyway and see if they need changing. |
SHE GETS UP AND LIFTS EVE OUT OF THE POOL, THE DISPOSABLE DIAPER UNDER HER FRILLY SWIMSUIT SWOLLEN TO THE DIMENSIONS OF A LIFE RING.
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FRAN (CONT'D) Although, I'm not sure I'll be able to tell. |
VAL PICKS UP JONAH AND THE THREE OF THEM WALK TOWARD THE HOUSE.
DISSOLVE TO:
ACT TWO
SCENE FIVE
INT. SHEFFIELD BREAKFAST NOOK - CONTINUOUS
FRAN, VAL AND NILES ENTER FROM THE GARAGE, EACH CARRYING A BABY. FRAN SETS EVE IN A BABY WALKER. NILES PUTS EMILY IN THE SWING.
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NILES I thought you were going to change them?FRAN Well, they were already wet, what's a couple more minutes gonna do? Besides, a hungry baby is an unhappy baby. |
SHE PUTS A FEW CHEERIOS ON EVE'S TRAY AND SETS A DISH OF PASTRIES ON THE TABLE.
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NILES Not to mention their hungry mummy.FRAN Now ya catchin' on. |
BRIGHTON ENTERS DRESSED IN SWIM TRUNKS AND CARRYING A HUGE, BRIGHTLY COLORED WATER GUN.
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BRIGHTON Ooo! Food! |
HE TAKES A PASTRY OFF THE PLATE AND STICKS IT IN HIS MOUTH, THEN EXITS TO THE KITCHEN.
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FRAN (CALLING AFTER HIM) All finished studyin' for your finals, B?BRIGHTON (O.C.) Nah, I'm just takin' a break. |
HE WALKS BACK INTO THE BREAKFAST NOOK AND DROPS THE LAST OF SEVERAL ICE CUBES INTO THE TANK ON THE WATER GUN.
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BRIGHTON (CONT'D) Besides, all work and no play makes Brighton a dull boy. |
GRINNING MISCHIEVOUSLY AT THEM, HE EXITS TOWARD THE POOL.
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NILES There goes trouble waiting to happen. |
SFX: LOUD SCREAMS FROM THE POOL AREA.
NILES LOOKS OUT THE WINDOW.
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NILES Oh my, there's a major water war erupting out there. |
BRIGHTON, GRACE AND SEVERAL OTHER KIDS RUN BY OUTSIDE THE WINDOW SCREAMING, FOLLOWED BY MICHAEL ARMED WITH THE HOSE.
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FRAN Yeah, but they're havin' fun and Max and C.C. are off schmoozing their new sponsor, so what's the harm? |
CUT TO:
ACT TWO
SCENE SIX
EXT. SHEFFIELD FRONT WALK - CONTINUOUS
MAXWELL AND C.C., HAVING COMPLETELY FORGOTTEN ABOUT THE POOL PARTY, ARE COMING UP THE FRONT WALK WITH A WELL DRESSED BUSINESS MAN.
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MAXWELL I can't tell you how happy it makes us to hear how much you love the show, Tom. It's based loosely on my family you know. I can't wait to introduce you to all of them. |
THEY OPEN THE FRONT DOOR AND ARE IMMEDIATELY DRENCHED BY A TEENAGE BOY WITH A BUCKET OF COLD WATER.
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BOY Oops! Sorry. |
FADE OUT.
TAG
FADE IN:
INT. SHEFFIELD BREAKFAST NOOK - A SHORT WHILE LATER
FRAN AND MAXWELL TALK AS MAXWELL DRIES HIS HAIR WITH A DISH TOWEL. EVE IS STILL IN THE BABY WALKER. JONAH IS SITTING NEARBY ON THE FLOOR, PLAYING WITH HIS TOES AND WATCHING HIS PARENTS.
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FRAN Isn't it funny that Jack, the one boy at the party to drench you, turned out to be your sponsor's son?MAXWELL Mmmm. Yes, and highly fortunate that his father took it in such good spirits, too. It seems he'd been quite worried that his son was growing up too quickly and getting in with the wrong crowd.FRAN Well, he need worry no longer! |
MAXWELL GOES TO HANG THE TOWEL OVER THE BACK OF THE CHAIR, THEN STOPS TO GIVE IT A CLOSER INSPECTION.
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MAXWELL What's all over this towel, anyway? |
FRAN TAKES THE TOWEL, LOOKS AT IT, AND PULLS A GUILTY FACE. SHE QUICKLY HANGS IT OVER THE CHAIR.
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FRAN Oh, I dunno. Some dirt or something from one of the kids, I guess. |
MAXWELL SMILES AND WRAPS HIS ARMS AROUND FRAN, PULLING HER CLOSE.
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MAXWELL You know, I've never known anyone that could land on her feet as often as you do, Mrs. Sheffield. Have I told you recently how much I love you?FRAN No, I don't think you have. Why don't you tell me again? |
HE SMILES AND KISSES HER SOFTLY.
MOMENTARILY FORGOTTEN, EVE AND JONAH WATCH SOLEMNLY FROM THE FLOOR. EVE SCOOTS THE WALKER OVER TO HER BROTHER.
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EVE Oh, terrific! Once they start that kissin' stuff, who knows when they'll come up for air? I thought we were gonna eat!JONAH Aw, leave 'em alone. I kinda like it. Besides, I've already got a plan. |
CHESTER PADS INTO THE BREAKFAST NOOK.
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CHESTER So, you kids comin' or what?EVE Uch! You're not gonna eat outta his bowl again, are ya?!JONAH What? Ya gotta better idea? |
HE CRAWLS OFF.
EVE STANDS THERE A MINUTE, THINKING.
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EVE Oh, what the heck. Hey, Jonah, Chester, wait for me! |
SHE SCOOTS AFTER THEM.
END OF SHOW
"The Nanny" is a copyright of SONY Pictures, Tri-Star Television, High School Sweethearts, Sternin & Fraser's Ink, Inc. and CBS Television. This story, and its characters, is in no way intended to infringe on the rights of anyone involved in the creation or production of the show.
I would like to thank Sabine and Tracy for their contributions to this story and for their inspirations. Thanks, too, to Barb for her endless patience and encouragement. I couldn't have done it without ya, gang!
* Dedicated to my mother, whom I miss more with every passing day. *
to post your two cents worth on the
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by Delph Max is a bit worried about the Finale of the sitcom. With a little help from Chinese oils, Fran uses her magic to make him relax. While Niles and C.C. are overjoyed as they witness the awakening of little Emily Rose, and the first hints, even tiny, of her future temper. Not wanting to be left off, the twins have a little surprise of their own. |
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