7.30 My Baby By My Side

by

Aimee
(aimeed@earthlink.net)

The Depression Express had just pulled into Sheffield Central Station.

"I miss her," Niles said querulously, spearing a fork full of chicken chow mein.

"Oh, stop your whining. It's against the rules. Remember, when they go away on business, we have to think of something fun to do. We promised each other," Fran pointed out.

"We haven't even been married a year, and the baby's only a couple of months old. What's she want to go away on a business trip for three whole days for?"

"She went away on business two weeks after your wedding, and Max's record was only three weeks. Face it, we're not married to C.C. and Max when they've got a project going. We're married to Sheffield Babcock Productions."

"I'm such a housewife," mourned Niles.

"Hey! So am I," pointed out Fran, whacking him on the arm. "Listen, stop the kvetching and let's go party! How about watching the new Star Wars movie again?"

"No, you just want to gape at those two Jedi Knights. How about we take the kids and go to the park?"

"I took them this afternoon. It's the only safe time to take kids to the park. If you take them after dark like this, they'll get kidnapped by a serial killer with three names." Niles shuddered. "Let's go shopping. There's still two hours left, and all the good fights happen in the linen department during the last fifteen minutes."

Niles paused at the thought of twelve bored housewives wrestling over towels, and he the only male present. It had possibilities, but then he groaned. "No can do. I just spent my entire weekly salary on flowers for C.C.'s arrival home on Thursday."

Fran giggled. "I think it is so cute how you spend every dime you have on her. But really, Niles, is she keeping you on an allowance or something? Because you realize, you're filthy rich and you can spend whatever you want now that you've married a Babcock."

"No, I can't," he said doggedly. "C.C. tells me the same thing you do, that I should cut loose and go have fun, she doesn't care what I spend. But in my mind, it's still her money and I feel silly being my wife's kept man. I don't even let her buy my clothes, so in order to dress well and keep her in trinkets the way I want to, my salary just flies out the window."

Fran laid her hand on his arm. "Oh, Niles, I think that is so sweet. You don't want to take her money, but you want to buy her presents and dress well for her. Although, those flowered shirts you wear to the pool? Not raisin' your stock."

Niles shot her a look.

Fran whacked his arm. "My point is, isn't there some other way you can make some money?" She rose and went to the fridge for some comfort food. She tossed a pint of chocolate chip cookie dough to Niles and grabbed the peanut butter cup for herself.

"How? Nobody wants to produce my musical, and that was the only idea I had. Oh, it just kills me being supported by my wife. The only thing I could provide her was our home in the guesthouse, and that's just as much hers as mine. I've given her nothing."

"That's not true. To hear C.C. brag, you've given her the best sex of her entire life."

Niles dropped his head on the table, nearly lobotomizing himself with a spoon. "I'm being supported by a woman and my only talents are cleaning and sex. There are words for men like me. And don't say sex in front of Emily!" He cupped his hands over his daughter's ears.

"Oh, stop being so negative. C.C. used to go around scowling and snarling all the time. She was lonely, pathetic, undersexed, neurotic, really the only thing that ever made her happy was work. Now she's still a terror, but she's happy, sane, and you must admit, she's going to be a wonderful mother. Boy, I never thought I'd hear myself say those words." Fran spooned ice cream into Eve's mouth. Jonah squalled.

"Mmm. Especially the part about her being sane."

"You know, Niles, I still think you're being old-fashioned and stubborn, but if it means that much to you, I'll help you make some money. Come here, Jonah, I'll give you some ice cream."

Emily began to squall.

"No! The last time we had that plan, we almost cost Sheffield Babcock Productions a quarter of a million dollars." Niles spooned some of his ice cream into Emily's little rosebud mouth.

"But you ended up married to C.C.," Fran pointed out triumphantly.

A gleam appeared in Niles' eyes. "What do you have in mind?"

"I'll loan you, say, ten thousand dollars to invest. Lots of people have started out with less than that and made it really big."

"What will I invest in?"

"Roulette!"

"Uh-oh, Ma's got another plan. This isn't good." Jonah waved a plump little hand in the air.

"Aw, Mom always comes out on top, you know that. It'll be okay," Eve gurgled cheerfully. "Meanwhile, that soft cold stuff is great! What's it called again?"

Emily, who had been watching and listening in silence, burbled something.

"Look, Emily's trying to talk to us!"

Just then, the two babies noticed that Ma and Uncle Niles were watching them in amusement.

"Look at them! You'd almost think they knew what was going on," Fran said fondly, kissing each of her babies.

Niles lifted Emily out of her baby chair and cooed to her, rubbing her nose with his. "Is Daddy's little princess trying to play, too?" he crooned.

Emily gurgled happily and flashed a Babcock smile at him -- albeit with drool running down her little chin. Niles didn't notice, so when he hugged her, she simply rubbed it off on his tie.

"See that? She's learning from us already!" Evie said proudly. "Mess their clothes, they think it's cute."

"Women! Couple of Daddy's girls," Jonah said scornfully.

Niles and Fran stumbled back in roaring drunk at three in the morning. He slumped down on the sofa and loosened his tie. "I should have known better than to trust you," he snarled. "I started out with nothing. Now I'm ten thousand in the hole to you."

"Now stop it. I told you, you don't have to pay me back since it was my idea."

"Well, it was insanity. You know I can't be trusted in a casino. The only time I ever win is when C.C. is with me."

"What?" Fran's head rolled drunkenly toward him..

"Remember that time we all went on a cruise because Mr. Sheffield was afraid you'd meet someone?"

"Yeah," she said dreamily. "And I did end up dancing on water with the man of my dreams, I just didn't know it yet."

Niles smiled. "Well, I spent most of my time in the casino, and I was losing my shirt. Then a certain sadistic blonde, knowing how I always lost, came to torture me. But the moment she stood at my side, I couldn't lose. I even tried to lose deliberately just to see if it would work and I still won. But the moment she left me, I lost everything. A moment later, she reappeared and I won it all back on the next roll of the dice. Of course, I still ended up losing my shirt because she left to join a game where the stakes were too high for me."

Fran grabbed his arm. "Niles, that's it! If you take your next paycheck to the casino and get C.C. to come with you, it could be your ticket to big money!"

Niles perked up. "It sounds like it would work. If it still sounds good when I'm sober, I'll do it!"

Niles bent over the back of the sofa and nibbled on his wife's ear, a trick he knew would persuade her to stand on her head and sing the Star-Spangled Banner if he did it long enough. Or at least, it was an experiment he planned to try someday when he had a video camera handy. "You've been so stressed out between recovering from your pregnancy and this sitcom of yours, pet. What would you say to an evening of fun and relaxation, with maybe a little shameless hedonism thrown in for good measure?"

C.C. smiled and shivered deliciously. She could refuse him nothing when he asked just that way. "And which room of the house should we do it in this time?"

Niles wrapped his arms around her from behind. "I was thinking of taking it out of the house tonight. Maybe, me in a tux, you in a long, sparkly red gown, someplace exotic and exciting?"

"Like where?" C.C. started to suspect he was up to something, but as long as it only rated nibbling on her ear, she thought she could withstand it. It was when he kissed her and stroked his thumb down her spine that she was in big trouble.

"Casino."

"Oh, no! You went to the casino with Fran last week and lost thousands. It cost me three hundred just to get G -- G -- the little one to tell on you. Anyway, I thought we had a deal. You only get to go to the casino every three months if I only drink on special occasions."

"But I hadn't been there in six months before that, so you owe me one. Why don't we get out of the house for a while on Saturday?" Niles circled around the sofa to sit next to her and take her hands in his.

"No! I wanted to go to a black tie beach party Saturday. You promised!"

"We can go to the party after the casino. We'll leave the casino at midnight and go to the party until dawn." Niles kissed her. "Please?"

"It's a bad idea. You always lose." C.C. murmured against his lips, feeling the familiar heat of desire start to melt her objections.

"Not when I have my baby by my side," he whispered. He kissed her deeply, and then, oh, yes, how could he do this to her, that cheater, he rubbed his thumb against the nape of her neck, driving her closer to him and deepening their kiss, and his thumb started to circle and stroke down her spine. C.C. was lost. She wrapped her arms around his neck and lay back against the cushions.

Emily Rose, with impeccable timing, awoke from her nap and began to scream.

"Come on, seven!" C.C. chanted. "Papa needs a new pair of oven mitts!" Niles gave her a dirty look, but sure enough, he won. She hung over his shoulder urging him on, as did any number of other nubile beauties hoping for a share of their escorts' winnings. But C.C. got a satisfaction she couldn't begin to describe from knowing that these high rollers had left the wives at home and brought the girlfriends, all except for one, the butler, the only man here not born into the magic circle of wealth and power.

Niles had never lived outside of that circle, though he wasn't a part of it. So he knew the rules, and wore his status as a rich man as easily as any of them. It suited him well, this life between two worlds. A working class man who had more elegance and education than any Fortune 500 executive, married to a sinfully beautiful, headstrong heiress who had rebelled against her upbringing by taking on a career rather than a family, and blown all the rules to hell to marry a butler and have their child.

The subtle nuances and eccentric vagaries of their relationship, both to each other and to the world they lived in, was an endless source of philosophical discussion between them. So far, the only conclusion they had been able to come to was that they were just plain right for each other, and there was no logical explanation on earth why it should be so.

C.C. gasped. "Niles, this is magnificent!"

The necklace he gave her was made of three thin strands of gold, each with a diamond at the center. There were earrings to match, each one made of three thin strands of gold tipped with a diamond.

Niles kissed her cheek as he fastened the necklace around her throat. "Nothing is too good for you, my love. After all, I can afford it. And you do look magnificent tonight." She looked at him in surprise. "But who knew they did plastic surgery on dogs?" he added. Emily, playing on the bed while C.C. dressed, gurgled and jangled her rattle in approval.

C.C.'s clingy midnight-blue silk evening gown had thin straps, an empire waist, and the movement and fluidity that only comes from true haute couture. Nevertheless, careless of how easily it would crease, she perched on her husband's lap and murmured, "You know I want you to be happy, so if this is what you want, I'll be at your side as always. But I loved you when you were poor, and I would love you if you were poor again, and I don't need gifts like this to make me adore you . . . So when do I get a bracelet to match?"

"Not until next week. They didn't have one, so I'm having it custom made." Niles put his finger under her chin and tilted it down so he could kiss her.

"If we keep doing as well as we have, you'll be a multimillionaire by then."

"I know. But I think once I've hit, say, five million, I'd like to stop gambling and put it all into more legitimate investments."

"Who've you chosen to handle your investments?" C.C. was eager to display her talents to her husband in more ways than one.

"I happen to know a genius investor."

"Who?" Who could possibly be better than her?

"Someone Mr. Sheffield told me has been handling a few matters for him."

"Maxwell's been cheating on me with another investor?" she shrieked.

Niles kissed the tip of her nose. "Nope."

"Oh, Niles!"

"Scared you, didn't I?"

"Bastard!"

"Money slut!"

"New Rich!"

"Old hag!"

"God, Niles, I need it right now!"

"Don't you ever get enough?"

"There's no such thing as enough. And I'm having so much fun with yours."

"Very well then -- let's go get you some more money!" Niles took her arm and escorted her out to the waiting limousine, stopping first to drop Emily off at the main house with Fran. It was a good thing he had plenty of cash floating around. This time maybe he could have the privacy glass repaired before Maxwell saw it. There were no cracks in it at the moment, but there would be by the time they got to the casino.

They lay together in bed several days later, naked limbs tangled in the luxury of pure Egyptian cotton sheets at the bargain price of $1500 a set.

"So of all the toys you've acquired recently, which is your favorite?" Niles asked her.

"This one." C.C. touched her selection.

"That's not a toy, that's a very important part of my anatomy. Although I can see why you would like it best."

"God only knows it cost me twenty years in therapy bills to admit I wanted it."

Niles burst out laughing. "I always knew I'd love being rich. But you know what the best thing about it is?"

"What?"

"Most fortunes are built on business, upon intelligence and hard work, and I admire that tremendously. But ours is still better, because it's built on our love for each other. As long as the C.C. Curse works, I can't lose because the only woman I've ever loved is standing beside me loving me too."

C.C. couldn't think of a response, so she just lay her head on his chest and wrapped her arms around him. Niles stroked her hair tenderly. "But you know what I'm going to buy you next?"

"A small planet? It's the only thing you haven't already bought."

"Nope. A genetic alteration."

"Plastic surgery?" she asked, insulted.

"No, a DNA switch to make you a natural blonde."

"How about a DNA switch to make you a man?"

"Our marriage would then be illegal everyplace but Hawaii."

"If you doubt I'm a woman, Niles, all you have to do is ask me for proof. In fact, I think I'll prove it right now." C.C. untangled herself from the sheets and flung her leg over him, straddling him. "I'm going to bombard you with proof until you can't take any more, and all your money can't save you, menial!"

"Pretty big words from a woman who passed her hormonal peak fifty years ago." Niles' hands started to get creative.

"Ooh, hands in new places!" she gasped, shocked. "Been reading Brighton's stash of magazines again?"

"Yeah, there was this great letter where a virile servant shows a rich snob who's boss."

"Ha! That I'd like to see."

"I'd show you, but unfortunately the letter didn't involve cows."

"I see your problem. That's okay, Niles, even if you weren't a cow, it did call for a servant who's virile."

"Just shut up and let me improvise."

C.C. smiled a devious smile and let him do just that. It was just more proof that it was better to marry rich, not for the money, but because rich men were just so much cockier!

Emily banged her plastic keys against the sides of the crib. No one came running, but Jonah whacked her with a rattle and said, "No no, Emily. That noise is annoying."

Emily's big blue eyes widened, and she patted her little hand against Evie's toy purse. Then she shook her head at Evie and grabbed for a bottle.

"Emily, wait, that isn't -- "

Emily promptly began to cry when no drinks came out.

" -- a real bottle. It's for my doll," Evie said helplessly.

"Now stop that crying, Emily, your parents aren't here to give in," Jonah lectured sternly. Emily cried harder.

Jonah sighed. "Listen, you little monster, Chester's better behaved than you, and he has a lot more breeding too."

Emily promptly stopped crying and gave him a sunny smile. She crawled happily to his side and offered him her plastic keys to put in his toy car.

"Oy," sighed Evie. "Has she got a lot to learn! Emmy, honey, you shouldn't be so free and easy with your keys. Meanwhile, could ya say something? I'm about to loose a pint of Chunky Monkey to the little man here."

Emily happily drooled on Evie's doll. At this universal sign of peace, Evie pulled off Emily's socks. The two babies gurgled cheerfully at each other, a lifelong friendship formed.

"And this," Niles said grandly, presenting the blue box with a flourish, "is for you, for helping me think of the idea."

Fran shrieked at the sight of a Tiffany's box. The ever-perceptive Niles had already discovered that while conservative Cartier was jeweler to the upper crust and therefore the place to go shopping for C.C., Fran preferred the more popular but equally expensive Tiffany's. Every blue box Fran amassed made Cousin Marsha turn a glorious shade of blue herself.

Fran tore open the box and gasped again. "Niles, they're incredible! Oh, you are my best, best friend!"

In her palm lay a pair of earrings shaped like the flowers of a dogwood tree and studded with diamonds. They were a Tiffany's exclusive and Fran had been eyeing them covetously, waiting for Max to screw up so she could claim them as her guilt gift.

"Let's go somewhere," she coaxed. "Max and C.C. won't be home from the taping for hours."

"All right," he agreed gamely. "Where shall we go?"

"There's a new casino boat in town. I thought maybe we'd show 'em what you're made of."

Niles made a slashing motion across his throat. "No way! You know I can't win without C.C. beside me!"

"Yes you can," Fran urged. "It's just a trick. You had one winning streak years ago with her nearby and now you've convinced yourself it's magic! You can do it, Niles, I'll be your lucky charm tonight."

Niles scowled at her. "Fraaaaannnnnn . . . " he said warningly.

"Hey," Fran said casually. "If you don't want to be able to buy your kid nice things with your own money, far be it from me to criticize. In fact, I admire your lack of materialism. It'll be a refreshing contrast to C.C. being able to buy the little princess anything she asks for, don't you think?"

As Niles hurried out to the guest house to change into his tuxedo, Fran smiled in contentment and went to bribe Gracie to baby-sit.

Fran glided up to Niles, champagne glass in hand. "How's it goin'?" she asked casually.

"Fine," he said innocently.

"You must have fifty chips! Pretty impressive there. Now didn't I tell you I'd be just as good a lucky charm as C.C.?" Fran preened. This was as much fun as being single again, and she still had her sexy husband and darling babies at home. "So how many chips did you start out with?" she asked brightly.

"Tmhrdrd," he mumbled.

"Two hundred!" Oy, she thought. This can't be good.

"Oh, come on," she said hopefully. "How mad can C.C. be?"

Niles gave her a deadpan look.

"Maybe," she said, her curls quivering in terror, "we should cash those chips in and buy two tickets out of the country."

The silence was deafening.

Niles followed C.C. around the living room on hands and knees. "Please, honey, say something, anything! Scream at me, call me a name, get out the restraints, anything!"

C.C. remained flawlessly calm, pacing the room aimlessly, pulling a blanket over Emily in her cradle, adjusting a flower arrangement, pouring a cup of tea. "It's all right," she finally said, giving him a sweet and loving look.

Niles knelt up with his hand on her leg. "It is?"

"Of course," she said calmly. She looked curiously at the priceless antique bone china teacup in her hand. Delicately, she drained it, looked at it again, then dropped it and let it shatter into a hundred pieces.

Niles jumped. "Why did you do that?" he asked warily.

"If you're going to throw perfectly good money down the tube, I get to play too," she shot back. In two seconds flat, she was racing around the living room hot on his tail.

As a matching teacup went sailing past his head still full of tea, Niles wondered if there were any openings for butlers at the South Pole. C.C. was running pretty fast these days.

Fran finished pinning Jonah's diaper. She'd switched to cloth because the disposables were irritating both babies. Niles had threatened to mutiny at that point until she engaged a diaper service so he wouldn't have to do the messy laundry.

"I wonder if C.C.'s calmed down yet," Max said thoughtfully.

"I hope so. I really think dunking him in the Jacuzzi and holding his head under for a while soothed her feelings."

"Are you serious?" he demanded, setting Eve's mobile playing.

As they left the nursery, Fran nodded. "The nice thing is, she's not having the mood swings I did. Post-partum depression hasn't made her temper any worse at all," she said cheerfully as she turned out the nursery light and took Max's arm.

Max thought about C.C. and how she'd once wanted to be his wife. Shuddering, he crossed himself.

"Emily, you twerp, this is your fault." Evie began to cry. She liked ice cream, and now she had to give a whole pint of the best stuff to Jonah!

Emily shook her rattle and made some fumbling noises.

Jonah shook his head and told her, "It's no use, Emily. Even if you talk now, she still looses. The bet ended."

Evie spat up on Jonah's bib.

Fran smiled as she popped a dish of ice cream down in front of Jonah. "Looks like Evie isn't hungry, she's given hers to Jonah. I wonder if she's sick?" Then she noticed Jonah frantically waving his spoon. "Look, he's trying to share with Emily. Ya think he likes her?"

Niles peered anxiously over her shoulder. "I don't know. Do you think perhaps we should put them in separate playpens so nothing happens?"

Fran gave him an incredulous look. "Ya gonna send her to a convent, too, Niles?"

"Look at the look on her face! She looks just like Babcock when she's done something devious."

"Thank you, Jonah," Emily said sweetly as he allowed her to eat out of his dish.

"Wha -- Emily, how could you?" wailed Evie.

Jonah decided it might be a good time to get out from between the two women in his life.

"Ugh!" Niles groaned. "No more ice cream for him until he's potty-trained. You go change him, I'll look after the girls."

As Fran carried Jonah upstairs, Emily turned to Evie. "It was so clever of you to figure out my plan," she said persuasively.

"I mean, we've got to get Jonah thinking I'm on his side so you and I can rule the nursery together!" Emily waved her spoon and allowed Evie to share the remaining ice cream, which she'd so neatly caused Jonah to abandon.

Evie shook her head in wonderment. "If you think I'm going to fall for that -- "

"You silly little darlings," Niles laughed. "Did you plot to get ahold of Jonah's ice cream? What clever babies!"

As Emily gurgled adoringly at her beloved Daddy, Eve's mouth dropped open. Then, she began to laugh. That Emily was one smart cookie. Maybe Uncle Niles should take her to the casino!

Niles rolled over with a last groan of satisfaction and glanced at his wife.

"Fifty thousand," she said dreamily, snuggling up next to him.

He sat straight up in outrage. "Fifty thousand???? That was worth at least six figures, woman!" C.C. whacked his chest. "Sorry. That was worth at least six figures, Mistress!"

C.C. had calmly and without complaining paid the rather sizable bills Niles had incurred. Since he'd paid most of them before his disastrous trip to the casino with Fran, there wasn't nearly enough to cause her significant financial stress. But she still wasn't happy. And since he still owed her $256,000.57, C.C. had devised the most delightful new game for making him work off every penny.

"I'm entering the postpartum depression phase, Niles. My hormones are going wacko. Believe me, you'll be paying me back for quite a while." C.C.'s hands began to roam again.

"Yes, my lady," he sighed, resigning himself to being a working man once more.

C.C. smiled to herself. She didn't care that much about the money. A fortune lost could be made again, and they still had all her millions. But she wasn't about to let him know she wasn't mad anymore . . . at least not until she'd had a little more fun.

"Niles," she purred wickedly. "Why don't you put on the leather pants tonight?"

Down the hall, Emily Rose, with impeccable timing, woke up and began to cry.

So wha'd ya think? Any good? Be sure
to post your two cents worth on the

7.31 Friendship, Secrets and Walls by Barb Elizabeth Sheffield comes to Los Angeles to visit, determined to make peace with her son and his family. She discovers that sharing one small secret from her past can help to scale the walls that divide them.

Back to The Virtual Seventh Main Page

Back to Fan Fiction

Back to The Really Unofficial Nanny Home Page