7.33 Stardust

by

Kate Moore
(katemo@yahoo.com)

"Ma, they don't walk. No it’s true. They only run!" Fran threw both hands in the air. "Who needs a Stairmaster with the two of them around."

"Fran...just do what I did when you and Nadine were babies."

"Wha? Eat myself into a sugar induced coma?"

"There are worse ways to get a three day vacation from a couple of whiney maniacs like you and Nay. No, its called 'benign neglect'."

"Huh?"

"Give them their freedom, let them set their own limits. It's the Monstersorry method; it was new back in the Fift...Late sixties."

"Sylvia, do you mean the Montessori Method as in Maria Montessori?" Niles questioned with sudden interest.

"Eh, yeah that too."

"I'm very impressed. I've been doing quite a bit of reading on childcare since we learned about our little ragweed. Montessori is still highly respected." Niles mused.

"Hold the door a second. This woman preached child neglect for---thirty years ago and is still roaming free."

"Well, I believe she died some time ago Fran." Niles explained. "It's not really about neglecting them, but more giving them an environment where they are free to explore and learn. She felt children are learning constantly, and that parents should encourage that."

"Wow Ma...I'm impressed. No wonder I turned out so good!" Fran smiled broadly.

"Uh, Sylvia how long did you study Maria Montessori?"

"What study? I read the pamphlet in the hospital and it said to leave kids be and I did."

Fran sighed, "Thank God we didn't have a pool!"

Later that afternoon in the kitchen, Fran eyed Gracie with suspicion despite the girl's angelic pose. Brighton, nearby in the family room, seemed distracted.

"So do you think I could go Fran?"

"Sweetie, its a school night."

"But I don't have any homework, and I'll be back by 11."

"EXACTLY how are you getting there and back?"

"Um, well there's a very mature adult that will be, uh, chaperoning."

"Uh huh and EXACTLY how do you define adult?"

"He's practically in college."

"Yeah college prep at Beverly Hills High." Brighton sneered, "It's Lauren's older brother Danny. He turned sixteen last week."

"Oh Gracie, ya gotta do betta than that. I'm sorry the answer is no."

"Thanks a lot Brighton! Everyone in town is going to that concert except me! Why couldn't you just shut up?" Gracie cried, before running to her room.

"Okay B, what's the problem?" Fran asked.

"What? Hey if you want her going off to some stupid concert on a school night its alright by me."

"Brighton, how long have you known me? I can handle a scheming teenager." Fran sat down and offered Brighton some cheesecake. "Since misery loves company, I'm thinking maybe you aren't having such a good day? And maybe ruining Grace's would make yours seem a little betta?"

"She doesn't know what misery is. Fran I'm so dead." Brighton pushed the cheesecake away. "Ya know that final project I have this semester?"

"Um, yeah aren't ya supposed to do a short film, and enter it in the Amateur Los Angeles Film Festival or something?"

"Yeah, that's the one, its 80% of our grade for Film101. Well there's a bit of a snag." Brighton took a deep breath before continuing. "You remember Renee?"

"The blonde you said was hot, she's doing the budget and costumes right?"

Brighton nodded "She and my writer Joe eloped in Mexico this weekend. They said something stupid about being Made For Each Other and Love is all There Is."

"B there's nothing stupid about that!"

"Well maybe not, but I just figured out they took the film's budget with them. So I've got no script, no costumes, and no budget."

"Oooooyyyyyy!" Fran groaned sympathetically.

"Oh and did I mention the entry has to be submitted a week from tomorrow? I told the cast this morning, and they've bailed. A few other kids needed additional players, and they don't want to fail. Only Brian is sticking with me."

"Honey, that's not a snag, it’s a disaster."

"Thanks Ma, you always know how to cheer a guy up." Brighton stood to leave. "Could you do me a favor, don't tell Dad. He was just starting to think of me as something other than a screw up. I'll break it to him when I'm ready."

"Sure honey, I won't say a thing..." She watched B ascend the stairs with his cheesecake. "to your Dad. NILES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Fran and Niles sat on the guesthouse floor surrounded by mounds of paper. Emily in her swing, watched with interest as the adults threw pile after pile into a new heap.

"Nah, that's no good, geesh Niles haven't you written anything less than a 10 hour mini-series?"

"Can I help it if I'm prolific?" Niles looked around, and lifted a smaller script up. "Well, there is this one...It seemed like such a good story, but it just never went anywhere."

"What? Let me see."

"It's called Stardust: A Dream, A Man, and his Monkey."

Fran smiled "His monkey?"

"His chimpanzee...Larry."

"Oh, ya mean his monkey, of course." Fran quickly skimmed the pages. "This could work...it really could. Say is Larry still available?"

"I'm afraid not."

"Did he go to the great jungle in the sky?"

"Hardly, but he's making 6 figures, and I do believe that might be out of our budget."

"Oh Niles..." Fran gave him a sympathetic hug. "He's makin' more than you."

Fran caught Sylvia snooping around the stove when she returned to the kitchen. "What's for dinner?"

"Ma, you don't live here, Niles doesn't have to make you dinner..."

Brighton entered. "Hey what's for dinner?"

Fran sighed. "Oy and to think there is no biological connection. Niles is very busy right now, so I'm cooking."

Sylvia suddenly back tracked "Oh, I forgot, Morty promised to take me to the Greek Shack, its our anniversary ya know?"

"Ma your anniversary was last month."

"Well this is our anniversary of the first time we had nook nook after your sister..."

"Information overload, Fran I'm going out for a while." Brighton backed away from the conversation, horrified.

"Ma you're scarring the boy for life, and you're not doing much for my psyche eitha."

"Eh, ya wanna talk about scars?"

"Trust me Ma, no one wants to talk about scars. Goodbye already. And B you need to stay."

"But Fran I'm hungr...” Fran shushed Brighton until she was sure Sylvia was gone.

"I'm not really cooking, I just called Papa John's for some pizza. You, Niles and I have some serious work ahead tonight, and I didn't think you'd want Ma involved."

"Oh man, what now?"

"Here!" Fran proudly handed him a draft of Stardust. "Niles and Emily are at Kinko's making copies right now. Call Brian and tell him to get his tuchas ova here."

"I'm confused." And afraid, Brighton thought.

"Look yer Dad and Ms. Babcock are still sweating out this renewal business. Apparently the total bombs are already canceled, but shows on the bubble like yer dad's have to wait until the end of the 'sweeps' to find out."

"I know that, what's that got to do with..."

"Ya need to pay attention. You don't want your dad to know, and since he won't be around you don't have to worry."

Brighton made a face of sheer pain.

"This" Fran pointed to the script "Is your ticket to passing Film101."

"Oh God Fran! You aren't trying to 'help' me again are you?"

After slapping his arm a few times, Fran continued with her plan. "I've got it all figured out."

Jonah looked up from his duplos, "Eve, is B Okay?"

"He doesn't look good does he?"

"Should we help him?"

"Are you kidding Jonah, its time to eat.... its every Sheffield for herself! Besides I think Mommy's helping him already."

Eve toddled to Fran, to let it be known she was ready for dinner. "Yeah, that's what I was afraid of." Jonah whispered.

Grace had refused to come down to dinner. Fran was secretly relieved; Gracie was becoming moodier every day, and tended to hold a grudge.... Fran left some pineapple pizza outside the teen's door, and returned to headquarters aka the family room.

"There's just no way." Brighton said in frustration. "Even if we had a cast, which we don't, they couldn't learn all this dialogue in a few days."

"Maybe if we use A LOT of cue cards?" Brian added hopefully.

"That's it!" Niles jumped up from his seat. "I know this is your project Master Brighton, but that's a perfect solution."

"What, getting writer's cramp, and hoping the cast can read? No offense Niles but don't quit your day job."

"A Silent Movie. We, I mean, you could use storyboards to tell the tale between scenes. That way you don't have to have a sound system, and you could create the background music and storyboards with that 10,000 dollar computer your father bought you instead of giving me a much deserved raise!"

Niles' enthusiasm was catching. "That software packet you bought a few months ago.... I think it had an antiquing process for film. I'll go check it out." Brian bounded up the stairs before Brighton could answer.

B remained quiet. Jonah looked at his brother with genuine sympathy.

"I think it’s a great idea Niles. Brighton, honey?"

"Oh, sorry, I was just thinking. Niles could you do a slight re-write? Just eliminate anything modern... Think the 1920's. Don't worry about the dialogue we can work that into the storyboards. Fran, could you find an old suit of dad's and make it into one of those zoot suits...and a dress for the heroine we'll need a period piece. I need to call Fred, oh and Kelly...she said she'd help if I needed it. Hey Brian what's the story?"

Brighton raced up the stairs. Fran and Niles stood smiling at one another. B reappeared just as suddenly as he had disappeared "Hey, whatcha sitting around for? Time is money people," then under his breath as he headed to the backyard. "Now just where can we shoot this?"

"It's like working for his father all over again!" Niles and Fran grumbled.

Brighton stopped and turned "Hey, Niles that really was a great idea, thanks!"

"Well almost." Niles smiled.

The next day in the nursery, Jonah worked on his exploring skills by emptying the bottom bureau drawer, while Eve and Emily primped themselves in the mirror.

"Hey Chester what's up?" Jonah asked cheerfully as the only other male 'baby' entered the room.

"Augh, don't ask." Chester lay on his back and seemed to wipe his brow. "They're having 'creative differences'. That butler-in-law of mine doesn't believe I can play a monkey. I'm so insulted."

"Was that what all that crying was about? Maybe Uncle Niles is still upset about your guest shot on Daddy's Show?" Jonah reasoned, and then added, "I think you make a wonderful monkey Ches."

"Thanks (I think), meanwhile what's with the two of them?"

"Oh hi Chester...I was just explaining to Emily that she's too young for the part of the heroine, besides my brother is the director."

"Hmmpf, Mother says Hollywood is all about youth Eve. And my Daddy wrote the script. I'm a shoe in."

"Sorry I asked." Chester mumbled on his way out the door.

In the attic Brighton, Brian, Fran and Niles cleaned the 'set'. After much debate the 'crew' decided the attic was roomy enough, sunny enough, and cheap enough to use for the movie. And perhaps more importantly the last place Max would ever step foot.

"Oh I'm really sorry Brighton, why can't Kelly be in the film?" Fran asked.

"She said it was mostly because of her contract, but also her agent would freak. He has this thing about her working for free, says it really cuts into his 10%." Brighton sighed, "She's willing to help with everything else, but she can't be in the movie."

Brian shoved another box away from the attic window. "The light up here is terrific. And look at all these old props."

"Lookee, here" Fran held up a large hoop, "this will be perfect for Chester's big scene."

"Changing the subject?" Brighton asked.

"Brighton its not that bad...change the title to Stardust, a dream, a man and his dog!" Fran suggested ignoring Niles' glare, "And well, how about your sista?"

"Maggie's in Japan."

"I meant your other sister."

"Eve? She's just a wee bit younger than I was looking for."

"Brighton, I mean Grace!"

"Her? Nah."

"Why not?"

"She's mad. You remember how I sorta ratted her out the other day. I don't think she'd do it."

"Brighton yer a big 'macha' director now. Suck it up and go apologize."

Brighton knocked on his sister's door with a feeling of total dread. At her muffled response he went in.

"What do you want?"

"Well, Grace I just wanted to tell you how great you were in that play thingy you were in a while ago."

"It was a Musical Review Brighton. And I believe you slept through most of it."

"Well I was thinking, you're a really good actress and...”

"If you want me to be in your silly little movie just say so."

"Geesh, forget it. Ya know Grace, I don't know what your problem is, but you need to get over yourself. Mom would have never let you go to that concert, and even if she said yes Dad would have vetoed it two minutes later."

"Don't call her that!"

"Call who what?"

"Fran, you know."

"Look, I'll call Fran whatever I want to. I don't have time for this Grace, if you're interested, I still need a leading lady...let me know." Brighton stormed out.

Eve and Jonah sat on the floor of their parents’ bedroom, listening to the commotion coming from the attic. Eve pushed a black curl to one side and eyed her brother.

"Look are ya going to help me or not?" Eve demanded.

"But stairs are hard and it’s creepy up there."

"Jonah, this is my big break. Gramma says I have 'star' quality. And all Emmy has to do is cry and Uncle Niles will run down here and take her up there. I cannot let that happen."

"She's sleeping Eve and I don't think Brighton wants a baby in his movie. He was talking to Grace..."

"I'm an ACTRESS Jonah, I can play any part."

"Eve, you have a vocabulary of six words, and two of them mean food." Jonah reasoned.

"Need I remind you it’s a SILENT FILM? Fine if you won't help me, I'll do it myself." Eve trounced, as much as a toddler can, over to the stairs and started her climb to stardom.

Niles and Brian were hanging sheets for the background; Fran and Val were dressing a dummy in an old Yves St. Laurent suit of Max's. Brighton had worried that Max would miss it, but Fran explained there was a few waistband inches between Max and this suit. Brighton adjusted the tripod, as he explained about the lack of a co-star.

"We'll shoot around it for now. Fred, can you fix light three?"

"How am I supposed to play a love sick actor without a girl?" Brian complained.

"Maybe I could stand in?" Fran offered.

"Um, thanks Fran, but the role calls for someone...” Brighton stopped, searching for something other than younger to say.

"Blonde, Fran." Niles rescued Brighton, with an odd sense of deja vu.

"I could wear a wig?" She smiled hopefully at the two.

"Perhaps" Fred looked over, "I could recommend a Clairol rinse, it does wonders for my poopsie."

"Oh Freddie" Val blushed.

"Meanwhile, how am I supposed to fit the dress to a non-existent actress.”? Fran whined.

Eve listened happily to the dialogue, only 3 more steps to stardom. Suddenly, she was lifted from the stairs. "Maybe I could do it?" Grace offered meekly, as she reached the attic with Eve in tow.

Fran beamed at her baby girls and headed for her measuring tape. Brian sighed in relief. He feared Niles in drag as his co-star, or worse B's grandma and wasn't looking forward to either possibility. Niles handed Grace a script and started to explain her pathos. "Is it okay B?"

"Yeah, it's great." And for no apparent reason Eve broke out into tears.

A very tired Maxwell Sheffield entered the kitchen. Dinner was over hours ago, and CC had opted to go straight home. Another day, and no answer from TPTB.

"Fran darling...I'm home." Max shuffled through the mail, and called out again. "Daddy's home...Grace? Brighton?"

"Oh, heya Max." Val giggled nervously. "You're home early."

"It's nearly 9 Val. Where is my wife?"

"Your wife? Oh, you mean Fran right?"

"Val wouldya hurry it up already...Max, honey, I didn't hear you come in." Fran embraced him quickly. "Ya hungry?"

"Er, no, we ate at the office. I'm just really very tired." Max stifled a yawn. "I just want to go to bed, and wrap my arms around my beautiful wife."

"Ggrrrrrr, that sounds..." Val slapped Fran's back. Hard. "Bad, that sounds bad."

"Pardon?"

"I mean, wouldn't you like to soak in the Jacuzzi for a while?" Fran asked.

"Not tonight. Bed's all I want." Fran motioned to Val, a 'do something' gesture. "Fran, is everything all right?"

"Everything's fine, just fine sweetie. Um, but the twins, they're filthy and I need to give'm a bath. And I was hoping their daddy would help?"

"They should have been in bed almost an hour ago." Max objected.

"You're right, but seein' how it's Friday, they wanted to stay up later, ya know like the big kids."

Max became more suspicious. "They told you that did they?"

Fran smiled "A mother knows these things."

"Fran, is there any particular reason I can't go upstairs? You have twenty seconds to explain or I'm going."

"Maxxxxxxxxxxxxx, I can't tell ya..." A parade of characters caught the corner of Fran's eye. Fred and Val in matching overalls, Sylvia and Morty both chewing on doughnuts, Brian in stage makeup and Niles and Emily taking up the rear. "Kiss me!" Fran pulled Max back into the embrace and kissed him wildly, at the same time, keeping an eye on the front door to ensure Niles had closed it silently before releasing him.

Max stumbled back as Fran let go. "No sweetie, there isn't a reason in the world you can't go up to sleep...if ya want to."

Val and Sylvia sat at the kitchen table while Fran made tea for the trio. Niles rushed in from the laundry room.

"What did I miss?"

"I was just telling Ma and Val about that little Chester incident the otha night." Niles smiled and grabbed a mug for himself. "Any who, Max is sitting there looking like a GOD, claims he's not quite as tired as he thought he was and all of a sudden that that pile o'fluff decides to come down from the attic and jumps into bed with us! I thought for sure Max was goin' to drop dead right there in front of me. But he lived... started yelling Miss Fine this, Miss Fine that..."

"Fran, you're married now, doesn't he know you changed your name?" Val asked.

"I think he was offering to change it back for me, Val." Fran bit into a Milano cookie and continued her tale through the crumbs. "So Chester starts barking, and the kids run in, Gracie's still in costume and had most of that makeup on, poor B spilled it right there."

"Oh Freddie says baking soda is the best thing for that."

"Oy Val, he didn't up-chuck. He just told his dad what had been goin' on."

"So...is he out of the will?"

"No Ma...by the time Brighton was half way through the story, Max almost busted a..." Val eagerly started to speak. "He was laughing Val, he didn't need any medication! Can I finish now? He told B it reminded him an awful lot of his first attempts at staging a play."

"I knew I had a sense of deja vu about this whole thing!" Niles interjected. "I saved his rear back then too."

"Did ya use Preparation H?" Sylvia, Fran and Niles just stared. "Oh, neva mind."

"Meanwhile, since we finished shooting I've hardly seen B1 or B2."

"Oh, we love that show."

"Whay show Val?"

"Bananas in Pajamas. Now they have a gift for comedy."

"I'm talkin' about Brighton and Brian. They are either holed up in B's room or at the film lab at school till all hours."

"So will the boy be able to finish in time?" Sylvia asked. "Ya know if this film career doesn't work out yer Uncle Louis is always looking for people."

"Ma, my baby ain't going to be no Professional Wrestler." Fran shook the image of Brighton in a thong leotard out of her head. "He's gonna finish, don't you worry about him."

"Oh Max, I'm so worried about him, what if he doesn't finish?" Fran paced in their bedroom "I mean they say the WWF is all pretend, but he's a bleeder!"

"Fran...the WW...what? Darling, he's a Sheffield, he'll finish, and with you on his side he's sure to...er...pass."

"But what if he doesn't? He'll be crushed. Literally!"

"Darling, IF he fails, he'll pick himself up and try again." Max embraced her, "We've raised him well Fran."

"Are my ears burning?" Brighton barged into his parents’ room with one hand over his eyes, and the other holding a film reel.

"B, take your hand down, we're decent. Whatcha got there?"

"My film!!!!! And you know, it's good. I mean I don't know if I'll get an A or win anything at the festival, but its good. I turned a copy into my prof this afternoon, and submitted another copy to the film festival just now."

"And that copy?" Maxwell asked.

"This is for the Brighton Sheffield Premiere."

The twins sat on overstuffed cushions watching the adults flit around like Teletubbies. Jonah worked at his bow tie and frowned.

"Jonah, stop fussing. You're gonna wrinkle yer shirt." Eve chastised. "Meanwhile, you haven't told me how gorgeous I look."

"This tie is awful, I don't know how Daddy can stand it." Eve cleared her throat. Jonah looked at his sister in her sequin leopard print dress and sparkling tights. "You look fine."

"Fine! I'm going for stunning, that's it I'm changin'." She started to stand.

"EVE! It's almost time to start." Jonah argued desperately. Then seeing out of the corner of his eye tried a different tac. "Look, Gramma's coming over and she's got that chocolate stuff!"

Sylvia smiled at her grandbabies, and then took her seat on the couch between Morty and Yetta. Niles and CC entered with a baby Dior clad Emily. Fran and Max shared the overstuffed lazy boy.

"Look at the kids Max, I swear Eve just tried to swipe Ma's Hershey!"

"Well there's a shocker! I'm surprised she hasn't gone upstairs to change outfits. You wouldn't believe how she cried when I put her in that lovely pink frock Mother bought her."

"Honey, she's got style, she's got flair...that's why she won't dress like her Granny."

"Attention please." Brighton said nervously. "I'd just like to thank you all for coming. Everything's ready to go, so if you'd be kind enough to hit the lights Dad, lets get this show on the road."

Max shut out the lights and the small crowd grew silent. Flickering light hit the wall and victrola music filled the air.

"Niles Babcock?" Niles cried, echoed by CC, Brighton, Fran and Max.

"What, you are always calling his wife Ms. Babcock? Ya never told me his last name!" Brian protested.

"Emily Babcock!!!!" Niles snorted.

Fran shushed him loudly as the rest of the opening credits rolled by.

"Great job Ches!" Jonah smiled.

"You haven't seen anything yet...wait till we get to my big number." Chester almost purred as CC gave him a quick scratch.

"Hey that looks just like my Vera Wang gown." CC whispered. Niles and Fran both crept out of CC's reach. "That is my Vera Wang gown! NILES!"

"She reminds me of someone...” Max whispered to Fran.

"Are you kidding, that hair, the dress, the attitude she's a dead ringer for Kate Winslet." Fran agreed. "Max look at Evie, ya'd think she knew her part is next."

"Here I come, Here I come!!!" Eve clapped. Sure enough a small black head appeared in a corner, only vanish in an unclean cut. "That schmendrick! He cut out my solo!"

"Evie, Brighton told you to stay with Mommy, you weren't supposed to be in that scene." Jonah reminded her.

"Whose side are you on anyway?" pouted Eve.

"Well if you keep whining you are going to miss our scene! Look!" Jonah pointed proudly to the screen.

"Oh Morty, ya still got it!" Sylvia gushed.

"NILES!!!"

The family room erupted with applause. Everyone talking at once and congratulating each other on a job well done.

Well, almost everyone.

"Niles! Why are you crying!!!" CC demanded, "It was a comedy AND it was funny. In this business that's good news."

"A comedy...it was not. It was a tragedy of unrealized dreams...surely everyone knew that?"

Jonah tried repeatedly to reason with Eve, but she waved the camera in his face and he finally gave up. She smiled, and cooed and Jonah tried hard not to lose his lunch.

Brighton walked slowly in, dumped his backpack on the floor, and collapsed on the couch. Fran looked up from the table and was immediately concerned.

"Hey, B what's up? Did ya see Jonah looks like he's gonna be a director just like his big brother."

Brighton only sighed in response. Niles carried a load of whites and started folding, Grace emerged from the kitchen with some yogurt as Fran started to question B.

"Brighton, sweetie what's wrong."

"I got my grade today." All eyes shot to Brighton, but he didn't continue.

"Oh my god ya failed!" Fran exclaimed.

"What! That script was brilliant!

"Hey, the acting was first rate."

"Not to mention those costumes were to die for!" Niles, Grace and Fran argued on top of one another.

"Your professor is an imbecile Master Brighton."

"Wouldn't know art if it bit him on the hiney," Fran agreed.

"Brighton, why are you smiling? Grace asked before, grabbing and digging through her brother's bag. "An A-! 'Editing could have been cleaner, and you relied a bit heavily on computer support, but all in all a great effort. Original, humorous and those costumes were to die for,'" Grace read. Fran and Niles headed to the couch and Brighton ran.

"Okay Jonah, I'm ready for my close-up." Eve told Jonah, oblivious to the chaos erupting around her.

"Eve, you do know that this is a Fisher Price Camera?"

"So?"

"It ain't real Eve, there won't be any movie." As Eve's face crumbled, Jonah high-tailed it to join Brighton, it was safer there.

"Whhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"

My apologies to anyone who knows anything about the Montessori Method or Film Making... I was winging it and it shows. BIG thanks to Julia, Jenn and Caryn.

So wha'd ya think? Any good? Be sure
to post your two cents worth on the

7.34 A Day In The Life Of... by Caryn An earthquake, no central air, a locked door and children...can turn anyone's life upside down. The Sheffield's and Babcock's find out what life in California can be like. More importantly the subject of New York comes up between Fran and Max--can Bubby Sophie help them decide where home is?

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