7.4 House Of Cards

by

Kate Moore
(katemo@yahoo.com)

Fran was sitting in an overstuffed chair, holding a cordless phone in one hand and balancing Eve with the other. She had dark circles under her eyes, but was trying to seem interested. "Yaawllllllll," Fran was unable to suppress her yawn. "Oy! I'm sorry Val...I'm just so tired....no, no don't go... What happened with you en Fred last Friday... Really! Val you animal.... yawlll, sorry... it ain't you Val. No really, I just haven't been getting much sleep... It's not that Val, oy I wish it was...."

"FRANNIE....Where's the wipes? Jonah's done it again..." Sylvia bellowed over the railing.

"Hold that thought Val. MA, ya can't use the wipes on Jonah, he still has that rash....Dr. Cornell says to use a wet cloth and a lot of Desitin...and keep it down, Evie fell asleep on the job as usual."

"What's that schmegga doctor know? Oy she can't be more than 25."

"Huh, nah she doesn't live here Val...well technically she doesn't...she's here from like 6 am to 8 pm everyday, but she don't live here....Yeah mostly to help out....Yeah well Naomi, she's here...sorta..."

"Nanny Fine, where the Hell is Max?"

"Just a sec Val." She forced a smile at CC. "Well, I don't know Ms. Babcock...he left for the studio 5 hours ago. Can't you keep track of him?"

"He lit out of there over an hour ago, smack in the middle of negotiations for screen credit....Said something stupid about a family emer-gen-cy." A flustered CC went for a cigarette before realizing for the 15th time today that she couldn't smoke. In frustration she went to the wet bar and poured herself some juice.

"Val I think I gotta go...I'll call ya tomorrow. Kiss kiss...say hi to Fred for me." Fran eyed CC with annoyance, then laid Evie in her bassinet and began to arrange the 'pump' to finish where Evie left off. "Look we don't have a family emergency, ya musta heard wrong."

The front door slammed, and Max's voice boomed down the hallway. "You have a lot of explaining to do young lady!" He turned the corner into the living room, obviously enraged.

"Whad I do?" Fran asked, completely bewildered.

"Not you....her."

CC spun around. "I haven't done anything. You're the one that ditched that meeting....we'll be lucky if our names are on screen for more than three seconds."

"Not you....Get in here now!"

Grace walked sheepishly into the room.

"Max, what's going on...Gracie, baby, ya sick?"

"Hardly!" Max hissed, running his hand through his already messy hair. "CC could you excuse us please." It wasn't a question.

"Maxwell, we do have work to do," off Max's glare, "but nothing that can't wait. Bye all."

Max began to yell again, but was interrupted by his mother-in-law. "Oh hiya kids....Fran, Daddy and I are going to visit his hoity toity cousin Ezra...I thought I'd put Evie up before we left. Ya like we bring something fer dinner..." She pulled Eve up to her shoulder.

"Uh, yeah Ma...what do you two feel like?" Gracie still didn't respond, and Max strode to the bar and poured himself a drink. "I guess pizza would be good Ma."

"Oh goody...take out again!" Max started in as soon as Sylvia left with the baby, "What happened this time?"

"Well, Naomi had to get her allergy shot this afternoon."

"I thought that was yesterday."

"No... no yesterday she had her acupuncturist."

"GREAT, just bloody great!!!!!!!!! Could we possibly hire someone who is actually available to work once and a while!!!"

"Don't you yell at me Max...I'm doing the best I can, Ma's teaching me to cook!" Fran's lower lip began to quiver.

"I'm sorry darling...I know you are...." He back peddled quickly. "I've had a rather difficult afternoon, I shouldn't take it out on you."

Fran sniffed for a moment, keeping her tears in check, then remembered Grace. "So what happened? Why did you pick up Gracie?"

"Oh...well perhaps Grace would like to explain that?"

"Not really..." Max glared at his daughter. "Okay, okay. I've sorta been falling asleep in class."

"Why honey?"

"She isn't done Fran. Tell your mother the rest of the story."

"Um and I kinda have detention because I've been late every day this week and I might have gotten a C- on my biology test."

"I don't understand, why didn't I get a note, and why did they call yer dad, when I was at home?"

"Very good questions...Grace?"

"Well I think maybe she did send a note, but um, I didn't want to upset you so I..... kinda signed it for you. I'm getting pretty good at your signature, almost better than you."

Fran raised an eyebrow, her concern replaced with irritation. "Go on."

"Seems every time Mrs. Garrity has called home to talk to you, either a young woman tells her she has bad Karma and hangs up or some old woman tells her that you've run off with the cabana boy and are living in TIBET!" Max finished.

"Gracie what have you been telling Yetta?" Grace shrugged, and for the first time Fran noticed how tired the girl looked. "You go on upstairs and take a nap. This isn't over, but yer dad and I need to talk."

Grace nodded and retreated up the front stairs. Of course she didn't make it to her room, opting instead to listen to her parents ensuing argument.

"Max, honey, calm down, it's not that bad."

"Oh really? She never got in trouble like this in private school. She was a straight A student. Do you know, do you have any idea how bad I look running out in the middle of negotiations? The sitcom's in enough trouble as it is."

"Back up there partner, what are you more upset about, the fact that Grace is having some trouble, or the fact that it's inconveniencing you?"

"Do you know WHY she is so tired? She's been getting up with Jonah every morning at 4 a.m., giving him a bottle, changing him, burping him, and putting him back to bed."

"Oh, she has? I just, I thought ... Oh."

"No go on what did you think? I'm curious."

"I guess, I just thought he was sleeping through the night."

"Well he's NOT Fran!"

"What are you saying Max, that this is my fault?" This time the tears fell, before Fran could stop them.

Max's pocket began to ring. Fran looked at him expectantly. "Sheffield here, ah yes, Mr. Sherry, I'm glad you could get back to me, no no you're not interrupting anything that can't wait." Max turned to give Fran the 'this won't take a moment sign' but she'd left the room.

When Fran had finished crying, and reapplied her makeup, she knocked gently on Grace's door.

"Come in." Fran entered, Grace turned and smiled weakly. She was busily typing on the keyboard of her computer. "Just a sec."

"Is that B?"

"Yep. He's in Portugal right now."

"Well, tell him I said hello, and that he should call home more often, and that this is going to be the last time he hears from you for a couple of weeks." Gracie, who had been diligently typing what her mother said, stopped suddenly.

"Fran!"

"Gahead, finish your message." Gracie typed with a new energy. Fran could only imagine what she was saying. A few sentences later Grace clicked the mouse, shut down her PC, then whirled around in her seat and glared at Fran.

"Don't keep yer face like that too long Missy, it could freeze." Grace didn't crack a smile. "You have something to say?"

"It's not fair! I've been trying to help, and now I'm getting punished."

"First of all Grace, you aren't being punished because you were trying to help. I really appreciate you pitching in without being asked. You are a huge help to me. But lets review shall we? You've been late, falling asleep in class, and doing poorly in school as a result. All of which were understandable given the circumstances, but instead of coming to me or your dad, you lied to us and your teachers."

"I didn't lie!" Grace muttered.

"Grace call it what ya want, but keeping things from us, and forgery are both forms of lying in my book." Grace shifted uncomfortably.

"I didn't want to upset you."

"Honey, I'm yer Mom. It's your job to upset me....and you did a good job. I'm upset."

"Sorry. I know what I did was wrong."

"I know you do Grace. You are 14. You have to go to school, pay attention, do your homework, drool on cute boys a few rows up. There are times when you will be expected to help around the house, but never at the expense of school."

"So no computer for how long?" obviously bored by the lecture.

"Two weeks. No computer, no phone, no tv, no friends over, and," Gracie slumped in her chair, "yer bed time is going back to 9 until you bring up your grade in biology." Gracie made a motion to object but Fran continued, "And you are going to tell your homeroom teacher about forging my signature and ask for extra assignments."

Grace turned away from Fran and pretended to study. "Gracie, ya want to know why I'm upset?" She didn't answer. "Honey ya used to tell me everything, when did that change?"

"I don't know. Did you tell Sylvia everything when you were fourteen?"

"No, no I made it to fifteen didn't I? Anyway Ma didn't need me to tell her, she just read my diary."

"Well at least I don't have to worry about that."

"Yeah," Fran agreed, then began to wonder, "why?"

"Easy, I keep my journal on my computer."

"It's just that this is the third rash in the past two weeks. We're changing him like clockwork but.... uh huh, yeah.... eh heh, okay, yes, .......... no, no, yeah............ okay."

"Dr. Cornell's office?"

"Yes."

"And they told you its nothing to be concerned about, just like the last five times you called."

"For your information Mr. Know-It-All, they want me to bring him in in two weeks," Fran sniffed.

"Ah, what a coincidence that will be the same time as his healthy baby check up," Max smirked. "Really Fran, you need to relax."

"Don't tell me what I need Maxwell."

"Fine, have you thought about Grace's punishment?"

"She's grounded, and I upped her bedtime."

"What are you saying? You already talked to her, without discussing it with me?"

"Last time I checked I was her motha, I'm allowed to punish her."

"Fran, there were several circumstances to be considered...."

"And I considered them Max. Do you really think I'm that incompetent?"

"It isn't like she's Brighton, it's not like Grace to misbehave."

"Yes, Max I know. But she was wrong, and I want her to remember there are consequences."

Max was quiet for a moment, why did Fran make him so angry lately, and why did everything turn into a fight? But her stomping around the kitchen got the best of him. "When exactly did I stop being a parent? I can't put my finger on it. I didn't want Maggie to marry so young, but viola she's married. I wanted Brighton to go to College, instead he's backpacking around Europe. Call me crazy, but I'd like to have a bit of say in the upbringing of my remaining children."

"Stop right there Mister. An hour ago you were yelling at me because the school called you out of an all important meeting to deal with your daughter, then you were telling me it's really my fault for not being on top of things. Now yer mad cause I punished her with out clearing it with you?"

"I never said this was your fault..."

"I'm not discussing this with you. If you want to overrule me on Grace, be my guest, but she'll learn that it pays to play us against each other and her behavior will just get worse. I don't know what you want from me, I really don't."

"I have no intention of overruling you.... I have no doubt your punishment was fair.... I just don't know why we couldn't have discussed it."

Eve began to fuss in Fran's arms. Fran was muttering under her breath, he was about to demand she repeat it, when Jonah began crying and Grace spoke from behind him.

"Fran, Dad, you're scaring the twins. Fight somewhere else."

"Darling we're not fighting." Gracie made no response. Her face was cloudy.

"Max we're fighting. Yer right Grace we shouldn't do it in here. Are you okay sweetie?"

"I'm fine. But, I wish you would stop fighting. I'm sorry about school, it was my fault." Tears rolled down Grace's face. "Just don't fight...." Max tried to embrace his troubled daughter but she moved away. "I have homework to catch up on."

Neither spoke for a while after Gracie left. Finally Max turned, "I'll be back around dinner time."

The pizza was gone, and the twins back in bed before Maxwell returned home. Gracie and Morty were playing Rummy, and Sylvia was making dessert.

"Gracie, she didn't ground you from dessert did she, because that's just going too far."

"No TV for two weeks, ya wouldn'ta believe the fit she'd have thrown if we did that, and yer Ma~~Oy did she have a nose for trouble!" Gracie laughed at Morty's stories of an adolescent Fran, they almost made her forget that her mother had spent half the day in tears, and the other half fighting with Daddy.

"Where is.... your mother?"

"Nice to see ya too son. Didya eat?"

"She's upstairs in your room." Max headed for the stairs. "Dad, are you guys going to fight again?"

Max pushed his hand through his hair, how to answer that? 'Yes of course sweetheart, that's all mummy and I do now', 'No darling, why would I want to fight with the most stubborn, infuriating woman in the universe?' "I suppose we will, Grace." Grace put down her cards, and poked at her pie. "Grace, look at me please."

"Yeah"

"None of this is your fault, you know that don't you?"

"Sure, I know."

"And I love Fran very much, and she loves me."

"I know that Dad. You guys fight all the time, but..."

"This seems a little different?"

"Yeah. Fran never used to cry Dad. It scares me." Max kissed the top of Grace's head, not knowing what to say to assuage her fears.

"Don't forget, in bed by nine." Max left her with Sylvia and Morty.

Fran was not in their bedroom. Max could hear her talking animatedly with Jonah in the nursery. "Ya see Jonah, its jest that you got yer Daddy's skin. Now that's a mixed blessing, because God do I love yer Daddy's skin, but he is always breaking out in some sorta rash." Max didn't dare join her, for as happy as she sounded, every conversation they'd had today had erupted into an argument, and he wasn't going to chance it in front of the children. He shed his clothes and climbed into the shower, trying to wash away this tired day. Soon the stall was filled with steam and Max was letting the water pound on his back, without making any effort to wash. Fran caught him completely by surprise.

"Um sweetie, ya don't mind do ya?" Fran's eyes were down cast, and her voice almost timid. She was gorgeous, her figure almost completely back. "I'm afraid Jonah spit up and I need to wash my hair."

Max backed away, almost embarrassed. Fran untwisted her hair and let it fall over her shoulders, partially covering her breasts. Max couldn't help but stare, it had been a long time, too long, since he had seen her like this. She turned her back and let the water spill over her. "Max could ya?" She gestured toward her Paul Mitchell shampoo. Max poured a small amount into the palm of his hand, and began to slowly, carefully lather her tresses. God, oh God. Don't, don't do this to me please. He stopped and Fran rinsed the shampoo out of her hair, still not looking at him. Max leaned against the shower wall, not wanting to touch her for fear that it would lead somewhere he wasn't willing to go.

"Max," Fran whispered, finally looking at him, "I'm sorry." She kissed him gently on the lips, "Really sorry for everything."

Despite himself, he returned her kisses. Lightly at first, then just a bit harder. No, no, no, no. "No, Fran stop." He pulled himself from their embrace, grabbed a towel, and left the shower. "I will not do this, I won't."

"Oh, Max, really, I'm sorry, please don't hate me." She pulled herself to his chest, sobbing, "please" over and over again.

He held her there, rocking gently, "I don't hate you Fran. Hell, I'm the one who should be sorry."

"Well," she smiled, "you should be. But I'm sorry for not being there when you need me. I'm so tired, Max, I don't remember the last time I've had three hours sleep... but I want to make love to you, I do."

He was quiet then. She sat beside him and took his hand into hers.

Dr. Reynolds had suggested that sexual relations stop at the third trimester. It had been difficult, but they managed. Then of course Fran had been in no condition right after the birth. Max was so relieved when the 6 week mark came and went, but Fran wasn't ready. He had been advised by Fran's current OB/GYN that every woman was different and he had to let Fran go at her own pace. But he had never imagined waiting this long.

She leaned into him and began kissing him again. Max allowed himself to return the kiss, and began to back Fran gently onto their bed. "Oh God Fran...I've missed you. I feel like we've been living on two different planes for so long. You are so..."

"WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaa." Right on cue Evie began to wail.

"Shhhh, just give her a minute, she'll go back to sleep," Max urged Fran to stay with him.

"WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAhahhhhhhhhhhh, whhh, wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaa."

"Max, she must be wet, she can't stand being wet. I'll just run and change ha, and I'll be right back."

"NO! Don't move a muscle, I can change her, I'm a nineties kinda guy." Fran smiled, somewhat unconvinced. Max had changed the twins from time to time, but usually with some sort of supervision. Max grabbed Fran's hand, kissed it and departed.

Fran had been partly right, Evie was wet among other things. The mess that confronted Max was nothing short of terrifying. By the time he changed Eve into a fresh diaper, a clean onesy, and put clean sheets on her crib, her cries had awaken her brother. Grace stopped in to say goodnight on her way to her room.

"Gracie, is Sylvia still here?"

"No Dad, they left a half hour ago."

"What about Naomi?"

"Naomi...Oh she's either at TaeBo or Underwater basket weaving tonight...unless she has an ear waxing. Are you sure I can't help you?"

"No, Fran wants you in bed by nine, so march."

"Okay, night Dad."

Max looked around the nursery proudly. He had done it, both kids were asleep in clean diapers, clean onesies and clean cribs. The soiled sheets had been started in the wash, the bottles were soaking in the sink. This wasn't so tough and it was only 11:25.....11:25 it couldn't possibly have taken over three hours to ... Oh God, Fran'll be so angry. Max sprinted across the hall to their room, with apologies spewing. "Fran forgive me, I didn't...."

"SNNNNNNNnnnnorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk," was Fran's only response.

"Fran, sweetheart, I'm back, and I'm ready." Max played with her hair as he whispered in her ear. "Fran Darling! Frannie."

For a moment her eyes fluttered. "Fran, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean..." but her eyes closed again. She was out for the night.

It was a blow to his ego to say the least, but he knew now why Fran was so tired. Infants require a lot more work in twos, especially when one's butler is off with a life of his own, and your housekeeper was AWOL 99% of the time. "Love you Fran."

"luvumaxxx."

"Grampa's going to buy you a looking glass, and if that looking glass gets broke, Grampa's going to buy you..." Morty patted Eve's back in time to the music, finally rewarded with a dribbling belch. "So whatcher saying is, ya don't want the goat?"

"Oh Morty, hold still old man." Max shifted his weight balancing Jonah on his shoulder and reaching for a damp cloth to help out his father-in-law.

Fran and Sylvia were in the middle of a hot debate. "I'm not sticking my hand in that Ma, ain't happening!" Sylvia frowned at her daughter, grabbed her hand and shoved it into the hamburger and egg. "Ma! Oh this is so gross."

"It's meat loaf Frannie! Whaddaya want?" The two continued to bicker over the cooking lesson. Max and Morty roll their eyes skyward, praying no Lee Press-On's ended up in tonight's meal. Gracie stood at the open refrigerator debating whether she wanted yogurt or an apple. She wasn't expecting to eat much dinner. At first no one heard the phone ring, by the second ring Fran glanced up, made a move to answer, and realized her hands were covered in gook. Jonah followed his sister's lead and spit up all over Max.

"Gracie, grab the phone will ya?" Sylvia said absent-mindedly.

"Sorry can't." Off four stares, "I'm grounded remember?" She nodded as she returned to the great yogurt dilemma.

"GRACE!" her parents shouted.

"All right already, I'll get it." She grabbed the phone. "Sheffield Prison Camp, this is inmate G34 how may I help you?" Fran and Max gave her warning glares, but she just giggled. "Oh Mr. Sherry, you need Warden Sheffield?" Max made a break for the phone, but Gracie waved him off laughing, "No, just trying to have a little fun with the folks, what's up B?" She covered the receiver and whispered, "Its okay if I talk to him right?" Max walked away disgusted, and Fran nodded.

"You've got two minutes." Grace smiled, and walked into the living room.

"Who was that, that... teen-ager and what happened to my sweet little Grace?"

"Max ya know she's just trying to get back at us, let it go."

"You don't know how lucky you are Max, I don't even want to think what heck Evie will putcha through," Sylvia warned, "if she's anything like her motha."

"Ma!" Fran elbowed Sylvia. "I wasn't that bad!"

"Whatever you say sweetheart." Sylvia rolled her eyes and went back to shaping the meat loaf.

"Oh, my head." Max set Jonah in his bouncy chair and went to get an aspirin.

"30 seconds Grace," Fran screeched.

"Thank you darling."

"Oh, I'm sorry Max." She kissed him on the cheek, "Ya wanna talk to B first?"

"No, you go ahead. I'll just help Sylvia finish up dinner." Fran began to wash her hands vigorously.

Grace popped her head in, "Okay, who's next?"

Fran dried her hands, took the receiver, and whispered to Grace, "You watch yerself little girl, yer daddy has a headache!" "Oh B howya doing honey?" Fran disappeared into the living room.

"Oh Daddy, Niles beeped in, he said to tell you it's all set?"

"Really? You're not just playing with your weary father's mind?"

"I don't have any idea what he was talking about Dad."

"Good, good. Set the table please."

"Um, Sylvia," Gracie said very innocently as she eyed Fran's meat loaf, "you made a spare right?"

"Oy, you new here?"

Sighs of relief resounded through the kitchen.

"You did WHAT?"

"They're our dearest friends..." Niles pleaded, then under his breath "...your only friends really."

"I heard that Wifey!" CC waddled across the room. "What were you thinking? I don't do babies."

Niles glanced meaningfully at his wife's slightly protruding abdomen. "Swallow a watermelon whole again, have you?"

CC glared, "Why didn't he get Sylvia and what's his name to do it?"

"I suppose he didn't want to impose."

"They're family, that's what you do to family."

"So you've been told."

"So I've....Oh Niles....shut up."

"Quite Frankly CC, I consider Max and Fran family, and you do too."

"Sure....you're the twins godfather...I'm just big fat Aunt CC."

"Don't be silly, you aren't their aunt." Niles smirked, "You aren't STILL upset that they named Val as godmother are you?" CC made a face. "CC you are due in less than 5 months, and you don't know anything about kids. I thought this could be a good...lets call it a dry run...."

"I doubt there will be anything dry about it."

Niles sighed, "Rehearsal shall we say."

"I don't need a rehearsal Niles, I practically raised little G..G...Gloria."

"Happy at last? Oh now how did I forget that?" Niles gave up. "Fine, CC, don't do it, but I've made a promise and I'm sticking to it."

"But you'd be gone over night."

"Oh would I? Yes I suppose I would. Don't worry, Chester will be here. You should be used to sleeping alone with him."

"Niles, you wouldn't leave me all alone would you?" CC pouted, running her fingers up and down his chest.

"Watch me."

"Wow, this isn't bad. I'm really getting the hang of this cooking thing!"

"Eh, yeah."

"Sure Fran, it's really good."

"Your best effort yet Darling."

"Whatcha all talking about, this is Sylvia's. Don't you remember?" Four sets of eyes landed on Morty, one set angry, two horrified, and one confused.

"What ya mean Daddy?" Fran asked through a frozen grin.

"Morty, you schmega. Fran didn't know that!"

"MA, how could you? And you two, you knew too didn't ya?" Fran stood up and threw down her napkin.

"Umm, umm, umm."

"My own family won't eat my meat loaf?!?!?" Fran ran crying from the dining room, Max quickly followed, and Sylvia grabbed the rest of the main course and headed to the kitchen. Morty looked at Grace.

"Was it somethin' I said?" Grace just shook her head in response, cleared her place, and left Morty to finish his dinner.

Max found Fran in their room furiously brushing out her hair.

"Fran Darling....."

"Don't try and sweet talk yer way out of this one Maxwell Sheffield." She glared at him, "I try and I try and this is what I get, fraudulent meat loaf and a family of liars!......."

Max was actually relieved that Fran was more angry than hurt. He was afraid the progress they had gained over the week had been shot to hell. Suddenly he realized that Fran had stopped talking. Not for long.

"Yer not even listening to me are you? I tellya Max if this is all the thanks I get for trying to be a good wife...."

"Fran, we all appreciate your efforts. And you are making real progress. That was a delicious salad."

Her face crumbled again "Wwhhaaaaaaa."

"What, I thought you made the salad."

"Oh yeah, I cut the Dole Bag O'Salad open all-by-my-self. And don't forget, I poured the Wishbone dressing too."

Max's headache was back in full force. "Fran I'm not sure how to say this...so I'm just going to come out with it. We all love you, we applaud your efforts, and believe that one of these days you will be ... a .... really .... decent .... cook, but in the mean time darling, we're awfully hungry."

"Yeah," Fran whined, "me too." The two smiled at each other briefly, then bursts of laughter escaped from their throats.

Max reached out and took the brush out of Fran's grasp. "Mind if I finish that for you?"

"I'd like that." Maxwell gently brushed the raven locks.

"Damn we make a great looking couple." He kissed her hand.

"Oh, I'd betta go check on the twins. At least they like what I give them for dinner."

"Gracie, it's 10 til, ya ready for bed?"

Grace stepped out of her bathroom with a toothbrush hanging from her mouth, "Gustaboat".

Fran sat on her daughter's bed. She pulled a book off Grace's nightstand. "What's this Grace?"

Grace stuck out her head, "Gustabok."

"I can see that Grace. Oy!"

"It's called Hannibal. It's really good."

"Hannibal, like Jodie Foster's Hannibal?"

"I think that movie was rated R, so I wouldn't know."

"What have I told you about reading these horror novels?"

"Um, always have popcorn handy?"

"They give you nightmares Grace."

"Its not that bad, he's hardly even eaten anyone yet."

"Oh well, then it's okay then."

"Please Fran I'm in high school now, this is like a fairy tale in comparison."

"Nope, I'm gonna have to read it first. Now did you get that essay done for Mrs. Garrity?"

"Uh huh. All five pages on the importance of open communication for teens today." She tossed the paper to Fran. "Are you still mad about... dinner."

"No baby, I'm not mad. Let me take a look at the essay and this, this book 'kay?"

Grace slipped into bed. "Fran, what am I supposed to read?"

Fran walked over to the bookshelf, grabbed a book, and slipped it into Grace's hand as she kissed her goodnight, "Night sweetie, don't read too long."

"Night..... Pollyanna!!??"

"Oh Niles, I'm so glad you decided to stop in. We miss you so much."

"Yes, I've heard you're doing the cooking."

"Don't start with me Niles! No, Ma's going to do it most of the time. It's hard. Ya hafta remember all this stuff and....Niles, that's not why we miss you."

"I miss you too, Mrs....Fran. I have no one to talk to all day, but that will change soon enough."

"How is she doing?"

"Oy, lets not go there either. I've finished another act of my screen play."

"Oh, did ya bring it with?"

"No, but I could summarize if you want." Fran nodded. "Well Lord Remington has done it again. The Governess and Butler have both quit, and Lady Millicent is making her move."

"No, that tramp! He doesn't luv ha!"

"Yeeesss, but this is a class conscious society...not like today, you have to remember that Fran...anyway..." Niles began recounting the next scene as Maxwell burst through the kitchen door. With a fluid moment he lifted Fran into his arms, and kissed her. "Oh, hello Niles, don't mind me...." kissed her again, then tossed her over his shoulder. "Just kidnapping my wife for a bit."

Fran was kicking in mock terror. "Max you let me down, I have company..."

Max winked at Niles, ignored Fran, and stole her away through the back door. Grace ran down to see what all the commotion was about. Niles explained that her mother had been abducted by her father. She nodded.

"I guess I'll just watch some TV now," Gracie tested.

"Hehh, heh, good try," Niles walked away still chuckling.

"Ah man."

The highways had long faded into the distance and they were surrounded by trees, trees and more trees. Fran's protests had dissipated and she was now leaning against Max's chest as he drove.

"Comm'on Max, where we going?" He hadn't spoken since his farewell to Niles, his only answer now was a brief caress on her leg. Fran sighed softly, and snuggled against her captor.

Grace bolted into the nursery and slammed the door behind her. Panting heavily, she turned off the intercom, lifted Jonah from his crib and walked over to Eve's. "Okay, I don't know what Daddy was thinking, but don't be afraid. Sissy's here. I'm gonna protect you. I promise."

Slowly the door opened. Grace froze in terror.

"Hello, Hello."

Max pulled over and put the car in park. He leaned into Fran, kissed her softly, then whispered, "Close your eyes, until I tell you to open them." She began to protest, but looking at his smile, she couldn't help but obey....just this once.

They drove on a short distance, Max stopped the engine, exited the car, then lifted Fran from her seat. Remarkably she still had her eyes closed. "I love you Fran."

Grace finished her 10th lap and pulled herself out of the pool. "Is it ready Niles? I'm starving."

"You're the one who likes it well done."

She sighed, and went over to the play pen. Eve was asleep, but Jonah's eyes were fluttering. She reached for him.

"Stacey, you're all wet. Let me do that." CC pulled the boy awkwardly to her chest. "Hello little wittle miss sleepy head."

"Mister, mister sleepy head, you have Jonah. My name is Grace, and that's Eve in the playpen." CC looked at her blankly. Grace stared right back. "Can you repeat that back to me?"

CC ignored her and began to bounce Jonah on her knee. "Um CC," Gracie tried to warn, "CC, Ms. Babcock, Jonah tends to ...."

Jonah tends to spit up after his nap. And did all over CC's Channel Maternity suit. "Oh, oh, get it away, take it away."

Gracie took her brother quickly and retreated into the house. Niles chuckled. "Let's see, that only leaves Eve."

"What...are...you," CC searched in vain for something to wash herself off with, "talking about...you...old... goat?"

"Well, Eve's the only Sheffield kid who hasn't thrown up on you. Hmmmm, no maybe you escaped Miss Margaret, I'd be wary of her if she ever visits when she's preggers."

"Shut up and help me."

"Sorry, can't leave the grill unattended." He blew her a kiss, "But I think you look sorta sexy like that." Then he tossed her a cloth. She smiled slightly as she wiped herself off.

"Do they all do that?"

"Do what?"

"Projectile vomiting?"

"Most infants tend to do it from time to time, especially after being jostled about." Niles took the steaks off the grill and called for Grace to return. She came out reluctantly, holding Jonah protectively. Evie began wailing. "CC you are being paged."

"Oh no, uh uh. I'll serve dinner."

"Mrs. Sheffield, dinner is served."

"Oh Mr. Sheffield, Lobsta!" Fran sat up in bed, pulling a sheet around her. "I love Lobsta."

Max returned to her side, kissing her neck. "Only the best for my hostage."

"Hmmm, this has been so nice, the cabin is gorgeous and I love spending time with you but its getting dark..."

"Oh and we haven't tried the hot tub yet."

"Max we gotta get back. Daddy and Ma weren't planning on babysitting tonight, and Niles will have to be getting home soon."

"Not to worry Fran, it's all been taken care of. Niles and CC are spending the night, so I can have you all to myself for twenty four hours."

"Isn't that.... Niles and who?"

"CC."

"My babies are in the hands of the ice queen. Whatta ya thinking. Where'a my clothes?"

"Fran, you're overreacting."

"Do I have to remind you that the last time CC looked after our kids, one ran away and when ya found her, CC tried to suffocate ha?" Fran ran around, picking up her bra off the stair railing.

"Fran that was over 6 years ago. Besides the twins can't run."

She dug through the sheets for her panties. "That's what I'm afraid of."

"Niles is there, and Grace and maybe even Naomi. Besides CC is expecting, she needs the practice."

"Let ha practice on someone else's kids." She looked around frantically. "Where's my hose? What are you just standing there for? Get dressed!"

Max stood defiantly. "No. If you want to go, you can go without me. You are being silly Fran. You know that the children are in good hands. I'll be in the hot tub if you need me." He loosened his pajama bottoms, let them drop to the floor and headed out.

Niles was rinsing off the grill.

"Hey sexy, want some help?"

"Be gone woman, I know about your tricks."

"Okay, well then I'm going up to bed. The little ones are asleep and that big one....Gra..."

"ce."

"Yeah her, she said something about having Home-work?" CC sounded out the foreign word. "Don't be too long."

"I'll be up in a moment, I've just one little thing to take care of."

"Still here?"

Fran sat on the couch pouting. "I can't find the keys."

"Here you are then..." Max tossed them to her. "Better hurry, I'm sure untold horrors have befallen the children, you know how irresponsible Niles is."

"You would just let me go? I don't even know where we are. Aren't you even a little bit worried?"

"I'm worried all right...we seem to be out of beluga."

"Max!"

He closed the refrigerator and went to sit next to Fran. He took her hand and kissed it. "Yes, milady?"

"Max..." She leaned into his chest. "....have I ruined everything?"

"No, I should have known the babysitting arrangements would be worrisome for you."

"I should think so....leaving CC with my babies."

"It's not about CC, Fran....Mary Poppins herself could be in charge and you wouldn't be satisfied. It's your first time away from them. But Fran I wouldn't have done this if I didn't think it was important. You need a break, I need one, and we need one."

"I guess you've waited longer than you should have."

Max sighed, "Its not just about making love Darling. We need some time to ourselves. We need to talk...about us, the kids."

"Max..."

"I've been neglecting you Fran, and the children, I didn't realize it, but its true."

"We know yer busy, and I should be able to handle everything Max, I mean I've been taking care of three kids for a long time now."

"Well you and Grace may understand that I'm busy, but I doubt the twins do. And with so many changes going on, I'm not sure that I'm being fair. I really want to make this sitcom a success, but not at the expense of my family.

"You called me on it last week...I was more upset at being called away from a meeting, than I was about Grace. I've forgotten that I'm not the only one conquering a new life, she's in high school, and dealing without Brighton and Maggie being around, and dealing with the twins. You are a new mother...I let myself forget how scary these first few months can be. I'm sorry for that Fran."

"I guess I'm just afraid that I'm not good enough. I mean Jonah has that rash all the time, Gracie's grades are slipping, and Evie, oy, will she eva sleep through the night?"

"Well I don't have a magic wand, but I can do my level best to help you. What the children need more than anything else is for us to be happy and healthy. If we can manage that, I'm certain the rest will fall into place."

"You make it sound so easy."

"Not easy Fran, nothing worth doing ever is, but we can do it."

"So ya think I'm doing okay?"

"Okay? Fran nothing you do is okay." Off her pout, "You are doing a marvelous job, as always."

"Oh Max." She leaned in and kissed him, "You're not doing such a bad job yerself."

Niles knocked loudly on the downstairs bedroom door. After five minutes of no response, he entered the incense heavy room. There, on her bed sat Naomi...in the lotus position. Niles turned her Metallica tape off. "Hey!"

"Ah, you must be Miss Naomi."

"Yeah I guess, and you are?"

"I'm Niles, the... a friend of the Sheffield's. I've been babysitting here since early afternoon. Strange we haven't met before now."

"I'm in a period of meditation for the next two days, you just ruined it."

"Ah, well you see Mr. Sheffield may have mentioned something along those lines, but you see, the way I see it is.... How to say this.... You are a useless oaf who is far too young to get away with doing nothing. You need to pay your dues baby. You're fired."

"Whoa, you have some majorly negative vibes, have you ever considered channeling?"

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