7.6 Whirlwind Honeymoon

by

-brenda
(rtbp@msn.com)

Fran cooed at the twins as she changed them in turn. She enjoyed the quiet time she spent with them, but more and more, wished that she had more time with Max. Lately, it seemed that he was always away, spending long hours at the studio. She missed him. She missed Maggie and Brighton. She missed Val. She missed New York. She looked at Jonah’s smiling face. "Ya know what? Mommy should stop feelin’ sorry for herself." As if he agreed, he happily shot an arc of liquid across the changing table, narrowly missing Fran. "Good thing I was standin’ ova here," she laughed.

After Fran’s recent, and disastrous, attempt at cooking, and the fact that C.C. was working long hours, Niles spent a lot of time at the Sheffield’s. And given the fact that he recently fired Naomi, the ‘meditating wonder,’ he was inclined to help out a little more. He noticed Fran’s somber mood as she entered the kitchen, where he was adding the finishing touches to the roast duck. "What’s wrong?" He washed his hands and came to sit next to her at the kitchen table.

"I just miss Max. He never pays any attention to me anymore. In fact, he’s never home," she grumbled.

"I know, I miss the Ice Princess too."

She glanced up at him. "Don’t you two ever give it a rest?"

He smiled at his best friend’s reaction. "No, life would be too boring if we were nice to each other."

Grace burst into the kitchen, arms flailing wildly. "Guess what?! I just got an email from Brighton… he’s coming home next week!"

Fran heard Eve in the other room. She opened one sleepy eye and focused on the clock on the nightstand, 1:30AM, then looked over at the other side of the bed. Empty. Slipping out of bed, she put on her robe and walked across the hall to check on the twins. They were both awake and happily babbling at one another. She carefully scooped them into her arms and carried them downstairs to the living room, where the three of them snuggled into the overstuffed couch. It didn’t take long before they all were asleep.

Twenty minutes later, Maxwell quietly entered the house from the garage. He cut through the open kitchen and walked down the long hall to his new office. Smiling as he entered his new sanctuary, he set his briefcase next to his desk and loosened his tie. It had been a very long day and he was more than ready to climb into a warm bed and snuggle up to a warm body. Needless to say, he was disappointed when he found his bedroom, and bed, to be empty. He checked the twins’ room. Also empty. Confused, he wandered down the hallway and looked over the railing.

The sight of his wife and two youngest sleeping peacefully on the living room couch mesmerized him. His heart melted, but he also felt a twang of guilt at having neglected them over the past few weeks. Hanging over the railing, he simply watched them sleep. A sleepy voice broke into his thoughts.

"Daddy, when did you realize that you were in love with Fran?" Grace asked, leaning on the railing next to her father.

He chuckled softly, "Let’s not go there, I’ll never hear the end of it."

"That long, huh?" She smiled knowingly.

He caught the mischievous twinkle in his daughter’s eyes. "Sometimes I think you’re far too wise for your age." He smiled and gave her a hug. "Why don’t you help me put the twins to bed?" They descended the stairs and Max whispered into Fran’s ear. "Darling, I’m going to put the twins to bed. I’ll be back for you in a moment." She mumbled some sort of semi-coherent response as he and Grace slipped the children from her arms and carried them upstairs. A few moments later, Maxwell was back, standing over his sleeping wife. He slid his arms under her and lifted her easily. She shifted in his grasp and realized that she was no longer on the couch, but in her husband’s arms. One eye opened and peered into his face, just inches away. "Mmm, Max." He smiled and kissed her lightly, at first. Fran’s heated reaction took Max by surprise. She was definitely not asleep now.

Grace was standing at the railing, but thought better of hanging around any longer and headed off to bed. She shook her head and smiled. ‘It’s a wonder they don’t spontaneously combust. Someday, I hope I find someone as perfect for me as they are for each other.’

Gracie rushed out to embrace her brother as soon as she saw his blonde head, which towered above most of the other passengers, pass through the gate door. Maxwell was surprised at how tall his son had grown. Brighton hugged his way through the entire family, finally coming to Fran, who was standing by the twins’ stroller. She smiled brightly as he launched himself into her arms. "I’ve missed you too, B.," she said quietly.

"It’s good to be home." He glanced around the unfamiliar airport. "Well, sort of home," he grinned. He bent over the stroller to greet his little brother and sister. "I missed you guys too… although I’ll probably change my mind in a few weeks," he laughed as he tickled them both. He felt his father’s hand squeeze his shoulder.

"Come on, let’s go home," Maxwell said as he slipped an arm around Fran’s waist and pulled her close.

The dinner conversation was lively as Brighton shared his experiences and future plans with the family. Niles was up and down all during dinner but didn’t miss a word. He and C.C. had dinner with the Sheffield’s quite often, as they were still trying to find just the right person to take over his official butler duties.

Later that evening, Brighton had settled into his new room and was already on the computer chatting with his girlfriend, Siane, who lived in Paris. He’d only been gone a day and he already missed her. He was distracted momentarily by a knock on the door. At his OK, Fran popped her head into his room.

"Just thought I’d say good night. Geez, home for a few hours and already on the computer?"

"Yeah, just chatting with my girlfriend. I really miss her." Brighton answered glumly.

"Girlfriend? You didn’t mention a girlfriend. So dish!" she nudged him playfully and plopped onto the bed. He said good night to his girlfriend and logged off. Fran spent the next 30 minutes listening intently as Brighton told her about Siane and all the wonderful times they had spent together.

"I hope she’ll be able to come to visit soon. She’s in school studying to be a chef," he added proudly.

"Ooh, a chef! I hope she comes to visit too… she can practice on us." She stood up and smiled. "You must be tired after the long flight. Good night, sweetie." She kissed him on the cheek and headed off to bed.

"Maxwell, Niles and I have decided to take a cruise to Tahiti and the surrounding islands. We’ll be gone for 12 days. I assume that you can do without us for that long," she teased.

"Yesss, I think we can manage. When do you leave?"

She didn’t look up from her work as she answered quietly. "Um, Friday."

"Friday! This Friday?"

"I’m sorry Maxwell, it was the only time available and we would like to go on our honeymoon before we kill each other and before the baby comes. We had the formal wedding so we might as well have the formal honeymoon too! Besides, Niles has found a promising "Bell Boy" replacement. He’s coming by tomorrow to meet everyone. We don’t have any big meetings scheduled, and …"

He held his hands up as she began to ramble. "OK, OK. You’re right, we’ll be fine. Have a fabulous time. You both deserve it." He stood up and gave her a friendly, but unexpected, peck on the cheek before exiting the office in search of his wife. He found her in the living room chatting on the phone with Val. Slipping his arms around her waist he pulled her back against him.

"Val, I gotta go… No, I really gotta go… now." She leaned her head back against his chest. "What are you up to?" Before he could reply, the twins, with their impeccable timing, started to cry.

"Not a moment’s peace." he sighed. "They must get their timing from you, darling," he shook his head, trying to suppress the grin that threatened to creep across his face.

She whacked him on the arm and threw him a smoldering look. "Later," she purred as she walked up the stairs.

He followed her up to the twins’ room. "Actually, I came out to tell you that Niles and C.C. have planned their honeymoon. They’re leaving Friday. So we have some loose ends to tie up before then. C.C. also mentioned that Niles might have found us a promising butler, and that he’ll be dropping by tomorrow to meet with us."

"Oh my God, Val. You should see this new guy that Niles found to take over for him. He’s gorgeous… I can't believe that Max OK'd it… He’s just here on a trial basis… Oh yeah, didn't I tell you? Niles and CC are going on a real honeymoon! It’s sooo romantic, they’re going to cruise around Tahiti and the surrounding islands… yes, Val, Tahiti is an island. Anyway, I hope they have a better honeymoon than Max and I had, although, we did have a pretty good time… you know, all by ourselves, no interruptions, we could be as loud as we wanted…" Fran sighed as she flashed back on their week on the secluded island. "Um, Val, I gotta go… talk to you soon, sweetie." ...... "Oh Max…"

"Hey, Dad!" Brighton called as he and Fran attempted to fit through the office door at the same time.

Max looked up from his desk and smiled at the scene in front of him. "What can I do for you two?"

"G’head, B. What’s up?"

"I was accepted into the UCLA Film School and I start next week. I guess I have some shopping to do… you know, books and all."

"That’s fabulous honey! I’m so proud of you," Fran gushed.

"Yes, well done, son. I’m glad to see you do something useful, instead of moping about the house. Here, take my credit card and go buy what you need."

"Gee, it was never that easy for me," she mumbled sarcastically. "You seem a lot more excited about this than you were a few days ago. Why?"

"Well, I met this gorgeous girl at registration and we’re taking the same classes. She’s from Australia and has this great accent and…"

"And what about your girlfriend in Paris? Are you just gonna dump her?"

He shrugged. "She’s probably already got a new boyfriend and I’m sure she can’t take the time away from school to come and visit," he replied sadly and walked out of the office.

10:00 AM, Friday morning, a sleek black limousine pulled up to the curb. A well-tailored driver opened the door for Niles and C.C. and loaded their luggage into the trunk, before whisking them off to the airport. Niles was grinning from ear to ear… for once, a limousine was here to pick him up, and not the other way around.

Inside the limo was a bottle of chilled Dom Perignon and a note.

Neither of them knew what to say, but both had to fight back their emotions. Niles smiled and gathered C.C. into his arms. "We are incredibly lucky," he whispered. They held each other in silence the entire trip to the airport.

Niles helped his pregnant wife out of the car and closed the door. "Oh wait," he opened the door and reached in to grab the note, tucking it into the inside pocket of his suit coat. He knew that C.C. was staring at him in curious amusement, but he wasn’t going to leave it behind. Those few simple words meant too much.

Eight hours later, the two newest "Mile High Club" members were dropped off in front of the luxurious ship that would be home for the next 10 days. The magnificent ship gleamed and shimmered in the afternoon sun. They boarded and were immediately escorted to the honeymoon suite, which was richly appointed in muted tropical colors and featured a private corner balcony.

Niles gathered C.C into his arms. "Well, Brunette, here we are. I just hope you’re completely over your morning sickness. I have plans for you."

"Oh really, Hazel, and what might those be?"

He teased her lips with his, "Lifeboats, secluded deck chairs, a darkened theater, the cargo hold… remember that steamy car scene from the movie Titanic? Shall I continue or do you get the idea?"

"Oh, you’re bad, very bad… but that’s what I love about you," she bit his lower lip with just enough pressure to make him growl. "Let’s get started. We have a few hours before dinner."

Fran felt his eyes follow her as she walked across the living room floor. She stopped beside the coffee table and turned to look at him. "Eduardo, is something wrong?"

Niles’ suave replacement flashed a bright, flirtatious smile at her. "Fran, nothing can be wrong when I look at you." His sexy, Spanish accent barely hiding his admiration. Ever since Niles had first brought him to the house, she’d felt his dark eyes follow her every move. Although she was certainly flattered by the attention, she was beginning to regret her decision to have him call her Fran.

"Eduardo, please. I’m happily married and if Mr. Sheffield hears you say things like that you’ll be outta here so fast you won’t know what hit ya." She snapped a "Z" and smiled. She had to admit that it felt great to know that men still found her attractive after having the twins. In fact, it felt great just to fit into her old clothes again.

It was well past midnight and the decks were for the most part clear, so no one noticed the lifeboat on the starboard Plaza deck rock slightly in its cradle. Nor did they hear the hushed conversation coming from within.

"Niles? I don’t think I can get out of here."

"Well, I could get a crane for you," he smirked.

While it was too dark for her to see it, she knew perfectly well the look on his face. "I’m pregnant, you Moronic Maid! How the hell am I going to get out of this boat? Another one of your brilliant ideas… I should have never let you talk me into this."

"Well you weren’t complaining a few moments ago," he chuckled. "Don’t worry my love, I’ll get you out if it takes enlisting the entire crew."

"Very funny."

He rolled over and poked his head out from under the heavy cover. Adjusting his clothing as best he could, he heaved himself over the gunwale and onto the deck. He quietly popped up each of the remaining snaps holding down the front of the cover. "OK, all clear. Push the cover back and sit on the edge of the boat and I’ll lower you down."

C.C. reluctantly did as she was told and slid into Niles’ arms. Neither of them could ignore the loud ‘rrriipp’ that all but shattered the still night air. Well, at least to the two of them it seemed incredibly loud. As Niles set her down on the deck he burst into a fit of laughter as he saw that the back half of her dress was missing.

C.C. twisted around as best she could. "Niles I’m going to kill you! Would you stop laughing and figure out how I’m going to get back to the room unnoticed?"

It pained him greatly to hold back the zinger he had at the tip of his tongue, but hold it back he did. After calming her down, he led her to the deck chair across from the lifeboat. "Sit here and I’ll go get your long coat from the cabin. Don’t go away," he threw back as he hurried off.

"Yeah, right. Where the hell would I go?" She grumbled to herself. ‘Well at least it was worth it,’ she thought as a slight grin crept across her face.

While everyone agreed that Eduardo was doing a fabulous job keeping up the house and cooking, they also noticed his obvious affinity towards Fran.

Brighton watched as Eduardo served breakfast, paying special attention to Fran before retreating into the kitchen. "You know, Fran, if Dad ever saw how Eduardo looks at you, he’d kill him. It’s a good thing he’s not around much right now, or we’d end up on the evening news," he smirked.

"Very funny, B. I know…" Before she could finish another voice cut her off.

"And just how does he look at her?" The question was directed at Brighton, but he was looking at Fran.

"Uh… you know, like, um… you have for the last 6 years," Brighton finally managed to spit out.

Maxwell shot a glance at his son, then turned back to Fran, who was trying desperately not to laugh at Brighton’s comment. She had to avoid looking at B. and Gracie just to keep her composure. Smiling innocently at her husband, she took his hand and led him into the office. "Come on, sweetie. I’ll fill you in."

"Boy, what I’d give to be a fly on the wall in the office right now." Suddenly, Brighton’s eyes lit up. "The intercom!" He and Grace quickly huddled around the all-knowing box on the wall. "Do you hear anything?" he whispered.

"No." Grace answered. They looked at one another. "Oh." They shut off the intercom and sat down to finish their breakfast.

"Moorea, next stop!" Niles said as he escorted C.C. down the ramp to the dock.

She stopped in her tracks as she spotted the rundown ‘taxi’ that Niles had hired to take them around the island. "You must be joking. I’m not riding around in that," she said pointing at the offending vehicle.

"It is a bit of a fixer-upper," Niles admitted, eyeing the jeep.

"No, the Wreck of the Hesperus was a bit of a fixer-upper. That thing is brake failure waiting to happen. I don’t like the looks of the driver, either."

"I’m sure he’s a perfectly decent fellow. Let’s go, you’re the one who wanted to explore exotic locales."

In a last-ditch effort, C.C. ran her fingers lightly down his chest. "Not with anyone else present," she crooned seductively.

"This from the woman who virtually did a drum roll with her heels on the walls of the aluminum sheds at Home Depot while the salesman waited outside?" Niles escorted a grumbling C.C. into the jeep and addressed the driver in fluent French. C.C., a frequent visitor to Paris and the Cote d’Azure, understood his warning to the driver to be careful of his wife’s delicate tummy and turn back if the weather were the least bit difficult. Tropical storms were sudden and violent in this part of the world.

Of course, Niles didn’t need to know she was fluent in French, or that she understood every word of the fairly colorful "sweet nothings" whispered in her ears over the last several months.

The driver contrived to hit every pothole in the dirt track he took them on. Despite the incomparable beauty of their surroundings, C.C.’s delicate stomach rebelled and she jumped over the side of the jeep to stumble into the bushes, where she graphically expressed her opinion of the tour by hurling into the hibiscus.

"Point taken," Niles sighed in defeat. "Perhaps we should return."

It was then that the clouds obliterated the sun and he felt the first drop of rain.

Their driver entered the tiny one-room shack first, and held the rickety door for C.C. and Niles. He had graciously offered them the hospitality of his home until the minor tempest blew over. Though grateful for shelter, Niles would have been much happier had he not extended the same hospitality to the family livestock as well.

Two hours later, the storm was worse than ever. A window had blown out, one of the pigs seemed to be making a pass at C.C., and they appeared to have little chance of making it to their boat before sundown when it sailed.

"Maybe it will stay safely in port," Niles said hopefully.

"Maybe we’ll all die and it won’t matter," was his wife’s optimistic response.

Seated on a thin straw-stuffed pallet on the floor, Niles shifted restlessly as he stroked his wife’s head. He was sorely tempted to rip off a few good zingers just to shut her up and get two minute’s peace, but every time he thought one up he forced himself to remember that the poor thing was wet, pregnant, her morning sickness was now well into afternoon, and her honeymoon, the vacation every girl dreams of, was thoroughly spoiled.

"Niles," she said plaintively, "I have to go to the bathroom, but I’m too tired. Will you go for me?"

He chuckled. If she were making jokes, she must be feeling better. "No, but I’ll laugh at the way you walk while you’re leaving."

"Gee, thanks," she said dryly. "By the way, I’ve often meant to ask you, what do I walk like?"

"What are you talking about?" he asked.

"The first time you proposed, you said, ‘Well you’re a -- you walk like a -- marry me!’ What do I walk like? Normally, I mean, not when I’m carrying several pounds of butler spawn?"

Niles tightened his arms around her. "I couldn’t think of anything," he admitted. "The best I could do was a female Darth Vader, but then I would have had to admit you’re female."

C.C. laughed. "Excuse me," she said, and got unsteadily to her feet. Wrapping a blanket over her head, she ducked out into the storm and headed for the outhouse.

After a moment’s thought, Niles followed her outside. "Someday we’ll be at the Waldorf Astoria laughing about this," he grumbled to himself.

When C.C. returned, she found him alone. The snoozing mother and laconic, straw-chewing guide had dispersed for parts unknown. So had the livestock. When she asked, he merely said, "I love being rich, don’t you?"

He patted the pallet beside him. "Come here, baby," he invited. It was then that she noticed his shirt and hair were wet again.

Niles swept the dingy blanket from the makeshift bed and C.C. gasped in delight. He’d gone out while she was gone and collected handfuls of bright red hibiscus flowers. The only points of color in the sad little room, they drew her eye and brought a smile to her face when she saw them scattered on the bed.

Niles reeled backward into the exotic blooms as his pregnant wife threw herself at him. "I’m sorry I was such a grouch," she said contritely. Then, as she noticed his heaving chest and stunned expression, she rolled over and murmured, "Maybe I better not be on top while I’m in this condition."

Niles wheezed in response. Then, when he caught his breath, he let his fingers trail across her cheek. "Surely you can’t mean you’re in the mood to — I thought you were sick?"

"I’m feeling much better," she purred, reaching up to tunnel her fingers through his hair. "And we’ll never get another place like this for our collection."

Niles’ lips and hands were already roaming as she added mischievously, "C.C. was naughty to be such a grouch. Why don’t you let me make it up to you?"

Niles smiled to himself. There were three constants in life: death, taxes, and C.C.’s sex drive.

The twins were asleep and everyone else was gone, and Fran knew just how to take advantage of the peace and quiet. She changed into her bikini, grabbed the baby monitor and a tall iced tea, and headed for the spa.

Eduardo enjoyed the view from the living room, concealed behind a large potted plant as he pretended to dust. He smiled at his good fortune. He worked for a nice family in a nice house, and this job certainly had the best fringe benefits of any other job he’d had.

Luxuriating in the warm Jacuzzi, her eyes were closed, but she could still hear the voices on the small television a few feet away. Her eyes popped open as the broadcaster’s words registered in her head. "…Hurricane Fran has swept through Tahiti and the Society Islands…"

"Oh my God!"

Max, wanting to surprise Fran by coming home early, spotted his new butler absently dusting the large plant as he peered intently out the glass doors. He quietly came up behind him and suddenly realized what Eduardo was so engrossed in.

"Oh my God!"

The nosy new butler was startled as the beautiful woman he was watching and the angry man who was eyeing him yelled the same thing at the same time. Fran looked up to see she had an audience and wondered why her husband was yelling at the butler.

"Eduardo, you’re fired! Pack up your things and get out," Max fumed as he went out to comfort his wife. "Darling, are you alright?"

"Uh, yeah. Honey, why did you just fire the new butler?"

"Because he’s a voyeur!"

"Sweetie, you can’t fire him just because he likes to travel."

The storm abated within an hour, and they made it back to the ship with plenty of time to spare. C.C.’s amusement knew no bounds when their hosts appeared from a root cellar surprised to find the house still standing. "Then what was that thumping?" they demanded in French. Niles suddenly forgot his vocabulary, which had been most pleasingly fluent not ten minutes previous. Fortunately, the pile of money on the wooden table more than bridged the language barrier.

Back in their suite, C.C. headed straight for the Jacuzzi, and he was quick to join her.

"You know, all in all, that whole ordeal barely lasted more than three hours," he commented as he popped an aspirin and slid into the hot tub beside her.

"Wasn’t Gilligan on a three hour tour, too?" she asked tartly. He laughed.

"How can I make that fiasco up to you?" he asked, amused.

"Oh," she murmured. "Three hours would be a nice start. How about giving me the complete tour?"

"Hi B. What’ya got there?"

Brighton smiled and looked down at the box he was carrying. "Hi Fran, Dad. It’s just some video conferencing software and equipment. I thought long and hard about what you said about how I was treating Siane and decided that if we were going to keep things going across an ocean we should at least be able to see each other," he grinned sheepishly.

"Uh huh. Lemme guess, this hot woman in your film class has got an intimidating boyfriend?"

"No!" He paused for a moment as he looked into the box. "A husband," he mumbled as he continued to his room.

"Well, that’ll teach him to pay attention to something other than anatomy," Fran laughed.

"Meanwhile, at least the hurricane didn’t cause too much damage. What is it about this family and disastrous honeymoons?" Fran wondered aloud as they awaited the arrival of Niles and C.C.’s limousine. "Thank God they’re safe. I wouldn’t know what I’d do without Niles, even if he doesn’t actually live with us anymore."

"Well, for one, we’d all die of starvation," he said jokingly. "I’m not sure I can take any more of these bloody "replacement butlers."

So wha'd ya think? Any good? Be sure
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7.7 Valuable Friendships by Julia S. O'Brien Val calls Fran with some unexpected news - the least of which is that Fred has lost his job at the pharmacy. With her usual foresight, Fran comes up with the brilliant idea that Max can hire Fred to work on the sitcom, and Val and Fred move to L.A. Naturally, chaos ensues.

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